What is the wise, biblical, God-honoring way to handle disappointment? Fortunately, we have lots of examples of people in the Bible who wrestled with disappointment:

Women carrying the pain of years and years of infertility (measured month by month)—Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Samson’s mother, the Shunammite woman, Elizabeth.

Joseph served for years with faithfulness and integrity inside a prison for a crime he did not commit; after correctly interpreting the dreams of fellow prisoners with access to the pharaoh, his hopes of being freed were dashed when the cupbearer forgot him.

An individual. Simon the sorcerer was converted, but was tempted to offer the apostles money for the power to impart the gift of the Spirit. Peter condemned him and he promptly repented (Acts 8:9-25).

A couple. Satan tempted Ananias and Sapphira to lie; they both yielded and were killed (Acts 5:1-11).

A church. Paul was concerned that the brethren in Thessalonica may have yielded to Satan’s temptation to fall away. But Paul had nothing to fear because they had not yielded (1 Thessalonians 3:1-5).

A great many in a city. After obeying the gospel, those in the city of Samaria rejoiced greatly (Acts 8:8).

David was anointed as future king, but the years dragged on as he was chased by a mentally ill king consumed by paranoia. The Psalmists anguished numerous times: “How long, O Lord?”

Solomon, with his wisdom super-power, wrote in Proverbs that “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). The distance between our hopes/expectations and reality—“hope deferred”—constitutes disappointment.

Seeing new Christians grow in the faith is a great blessing.

3 John 3–4 (ESV) For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth. ⁴ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

2 John 4 (ESV) I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.

Yet, not all grow as they should…

Luke 8:13–14 (ESV) And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. ¹⁴ And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

Problems and disappointments sometimes overwhelm them, and some fall away and do not beat lasting fruit.

Romans 5:1-5 “1Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

(NLT): Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.  

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Christians face lot of disappointments which are Internal many times.

• Many People don’t come up open regarding it and hence go with it.
• If it is not addressed from a biblical point of view then it can create problems like self condemnation, self pity etc.
• People can be deceived by devil by not allowing them to overcome it or understand what is God’s will or way out of it.
• Some people burst out and try to solve it but many keep silent and carry it and ultimately one day it bursts itself. Sometimes its too late!

Sometimes you may hear the statement, “Come to Jesus and all of your problems will be solved.” When people find they are still facing the same weaknesses as before, they wonder, “What is wrong with me?”

Have you ever felt this way? Why am I still having a struggle with temptations? Why don’t I FEEL joyful all the time? Why do I still have the same addictions? Why does my temper still flare up at the drop of a hat? Why do I still have financial problems? I thought Jesus would “FIX” all of this for me.

Many people become Christians excited about the forgiveness of sins, the chance to start over, excited about the help God is going to give them to change.

But many times the changes that will take place happen gradually rather than instantaneously–in the ongoing growing process. So people begin to feel disappointed in themselves and think there is nothing to Christianity.

ILLUSTRATION: A teenager at Juvenile Detention said, “I prayed once and nothing happened so I’m not going to pray anymore.”

Some of us have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We live in an instant society where computers are not fast enough, food preparation takes too long, and we impatiently honk our hors if the red light doesn’t change fast enough.

We think our Christian growth should take place instantly but this is not realistic. When we come to Christ He DOES forgive us of our sins the minute we ask, but that is THE BEGINNING of our transformation toward maturity. Our faith is tested and tried over time to see if it is genuine–to see if it can stand the fire of the refining process.

Temptations and tests may be just as strong or stronger for Christians and especially for new Christians who may expect too much too soon.

Do not be disappointed in yourself if you seem to stumble over and over again. Peter, who wrote these words for believers, was a Christian who was always getting his foot in his mouth, blurting out something inappropriate, disappointed in himself. But he didn’t give up–he became a ROCK–a steadfast person of faith.

They were excited about forgiveness…excited about starting over…excited about God’s help to change.

Then they discover: some temptations are still strong and others are stronger! This can be discouraging.

How can we help? Teach them that “transformation” is a process.

Remind them of God’s ONGOING…willingness to forgive and strengthen.

HOW CAN WE HELP?

By teaching them that “transformation” is an on-going process:

(Rom 12:1-2) “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. {2} And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

By reminding them of God’s willingness to forgive and provide strength

(Phil 2:12-13) “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, {13} for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”

(1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

(1 John 2:1) “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”

Philippians 2:12–13 (ESV) Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

This Ought to Concern Us…Older Christians have a responsibility to those who are young in the faith.

Romans 15:1–3 (ESV) We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. ² Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ³ For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”

What God has done:

He has provided spiritual armor that we might protect ourselves from the onslaughts of Satan (Ephesians 6:10-18)

He has promised to provide a way out of every temptation and will not allow us to be tempted above that which we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13; James 4:7)

He has provided an advocate with the Father to make intercession for us (1 John 2:1-2).

What we can you do:

Make sure you are maintaining your relationship with God through prayer – you speaking to God (Luke 22:40; 1 Thessalonians 5:17) and study – God speaking to you (1 Peter 2:1-3; Colossians 3:16; Galatians 5:16).

A failure to maintain your relationship with God will inevitably mean you will fail in all areas of your lives

Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23): keep your mind focused on things above (Colossians 3:2), set no wicked thing before your eyes (Psalms 101:3), and keep yourself separate from the world (1 John 2:15-17)

make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14).