These words are familiar to all of us who have attended a wedding (or been part of one) recently: Do you take this woman/man to be your lawful wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

Marriage is the oldest institution in the world, ordained by God in the Garden of Eden.
And throughout the ministry of Christ, when marriage-related issues were brought to Him, He always went back to the ideal from Genesis 2:23-24

   “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

“______and ________, I want you to know that you are standing in the very presence of God today.
“If you always remain faithful to the vows you make today, your lives will experience the fullness of joy that God wants. No human ties are more tender, no other vows are more sacred than those you will now make to each other. “

One writer: When home is ruled according to God’s Word, “angels might be asked to stay with us, and they would not find themselves out of their element.”

The trouble is that many homes are not governed by God’s Word—even homes where the members are professing Christians—and the consequences are tragic.

The answer is the Holy Spirit of God! It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can walk in harmony as husbands and wives (Eph. 5:22-33), parents and children (Eph. 6:1-4), and employers and employees (Eph. 6:5-9).

Our Christian homes are to be pictures of Christ’s relationship to His church.  Why do many Christian marriages fail? Somebody is out of the will of God.

Just because two Christians know each other and get along together does not mean they are supposed to get married.

But even if two Christians marry in the will of God, they must stay in God’s will if their home is to be the creative fellowship God wants it to be.

The secret to the communication code is this:
1. Love is her deepest need and respect is his deepest need.

2. Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love.

Love: not what you say as much as what “you do.” It is the husband regularly doing “love actions” or “acts of kindness.”

NOTICE THE CRAZY CYCLE

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting  different results  Marital craziness is when we keep doing the same thing over and over.

HUSBAND SENDS THIS CARD: This is what I’m really saying every time I say I love you:

INSIDE WORDS: I’m really trying to say so much more than just those three little words; I’m trying to express so many wonderful feelings about you…

   I’m trying to say that you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.

   I’m trying to let you know that I adore you and that I cherish the time we spend together.

   I’m trying to explain that I want you and that I need you and that I get lost in wonderful thoughts every time I think about you.  

   And each time I whisper “I love you,” I’m trying to remind you that you’re the nicest thing that has ever happened to me.” 

WIFE RETURNS WITH THIS CARD A FEW DAYS LATER: I love you with all my heart

INSIDE WORDS: And my body generally goes where my heart does.

A story about two books

1. A marriage book (wife likes it and leaves it on his reading table)
2. A diet book (he notices she has trouble getting in one of her favorite dresses and thinks she might want some information

“I do not accept you!“

“I do not approve of you!“

“I do not love you unless you look like a ______________”

Marriage Report Card

No marriage is perfect

Over-all grade:   A? B? C?

Will YOU do anything about it if there’s an area that needs improvement?

Are both of you ‘set free’ to talk about these issues?

Husband?     Wife?

 

How Being a Strong Christian Will Help Us Have A Happy Marriage

Christians are concerned about others.

Christians practice love.

Christians want the best for others.

Christians have a positive sexual ethic.

Christians can forgive.

Christians make good fathers and mothers.

Christians provide for their own.

Christians are kind.

Christians are unselfish.

Christians honor/respect each other

“If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister.  I would go and ask his wife.  If a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity.  What is the use of his talking about salvation for the next life if he has no salvation for this?  We want a Christianity that goes into our homes and everyday lives.”   — Dwight L. Moody

I BELIEVE CARD: I believe that we are magic, that all things are possible, that life is precious, that peace is reasonable, that laugher is special, that blessings are divine, that love is grand…

And that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you.

1. Make A Commitment

Remember your wedding promise? “Till death do us part.”

If they will renew their effort… 86% of the people who said that they were unhappy were happy five years later.

Commitment lets us work through problems.

2. Make it a Priority

Continue to work at marriage.

The greatest thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse.

3. Make Marriage Fun!

Some middle age crisis are because all the fun has gone out of marriage.  It’s all work and no play!

Enjoy each other.

Ecclesiastes 9:9: “Enjoy life with the wife of your youth.”

Enjoy sex:  Song of Solomon.

Learn to have fun with only a little money.

4. Learn to Communicate, Talk, and Fight!

Learn to listen.

Learn to talk.

Be friends first!

Learn to fight fair.

My wife & I never fight . . .

“But sometimes you can hear us reasoning things out for several blocks.”

5. Deal with your Demons!

Find out what you’re doing to harm your marriage and heal it.

Dictatorship?     Financial irresponsibility?

Temper?     Pornography?

Substance abuse?

You name it…get help!

6. Have God at the center

From God we learn the marriage skills of:

Kindness      Forgiveness

Unconditional Love Faithfulness

God will help us!

Buy Me A Rose Lyrics
He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants…A three car garage, her own credit cards. He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night. If he could only read her mind, she’d say:
Chorus: Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone, And she can’t help but wonder what she’s doing wrong. Cause lately she’d try anything to turn his head. Would it make a difference if she said:
Chorus: Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

And the more that he lives the less that he tries To show her the love that he holds inside.
And the more that she gives the more that he sees…This is a story of you and me
So I bought you a rose on the way home from work, To open the door to a heart that I hurt. And I hope you notice this look in my eyes Cause I’m gonna make things right For the rest of your life. I’m gonna hold you tonight. Do all those little things …For the rest of your life.

Closing: It’s worth the effort to have the best marriage possible!

Here is a biblical and practical guide on love and respect based on Ephesians 5:33, complete with illustrations and supporting scriptures. You can use this for teaching, counseling, or sermon presentations.

💍 Main Scripture:

Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Main Teaching Points & Illustrations

God’s Design for Marriage: Love and Respect

Teaching:

This verse summarizes God’s relational blueprint: Husbands are commanded to love, and wives to respect. Both are essential for a healthy marriage.

Illustration:

Two gears working in harmony — one labeled “Love” and the other “Respect.”

Why Husbands Need Respect

Teaching:

Men are wired by God to thrive when they feel honored, trusted, and affirmed by their wives.

Illustration:

A husband standing tall with his wife’s words building him up like bricks in a wall.

Supporting Scriptures:

• 1 Peter 3:1–2 – “…they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…”
• Proverbs 31:11–12 – “Her husband has full confidence in her…”

Why Wives Need Love

Teaching:

Wives blossom when they feel cherished, secure, and pursued by their husbands.

Illustration:

A wife being gently embraced by her husband, with hearts or flowers symbolizing care.

Supporting Scriptures:

• Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
• 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 – Description of godly love: patient, kind, not rude or self-seeking.

Love and Respect: A Cycle

Teaching:

Love and respect fuel each other. When one is given, the other is more easily returned.

Illustration:

A circular arrow diagram: “Love ➜ Respect ➜ Love ➜ Respect”.

Supporting Scripture:

• Galatians 5:13 – “Serve one another humbly in love.”

Jesus as Our Example

Teaching:

Christ’s relationship with the Church models perfect love and submission.

Illustration:

Jesus laying down His life for the Church (Ephesians 5:25), and the Church joyfully honoring Him.