After explaining what love does not do (13:4b–6), Paul listed four positive attributes of love. First of all, love always protects. The word in Greek, stego, means “cover” or “hide by covering.” This does not refer to hiding hurtful sin but to protecting someone from embarrassment, gossip, or any other such harm. When believers love one another, they refuse harmful gossip and protect one another from those who would try to inflict harm.^[1]

Love can endure anything.  It is just possible that this may mean “love can cover anything,” in the sense that it will never drag into the light of day the faults and mistakes of others.  It would far rather set about quietly mending things than publicly displaying and rebuking them.  More likely it means that love can bear any insult, any injury, any disappointment.  It describes the kind of love that was in the heart of Jesus himself, “Thy foes might hate, despise, revile, Thy friends unfaithful prove; Unwearied in forgiveness still, Thy heart could only love.”

The four qualities mentioned in verse 7 are hyperbole, exaggerations to make a point. Paul has made it clear that love rejects jealousy, bragging, arrogance, unseemliness, selfishness, anger, resentment, and unrighteousness. It does not bear, believe, hope, or endure lies, false teaching, or anything else that is not of God. By all things Paul is speaking of all things acceptable in God’s righteousness and will, of everything within the Lord’s divine tolerance. The four qualities listed here are closely related and are given in ascending order.

Stegō (to bear) basically means to cover or to support and therefore to protect. Love bears all things by protecting others from exposure, ridicule, or harm. Genuine love does not gossip or listen to gossip. Even when a sin is certain, love tries to correct it with the least possible hurt and harm to the guilty person. Love never protects sin but is anxious to protect the sinner.

Fallen human nature has the opposite inclination. There is perverse pleasure in exposing someone’s faults and failures. As already mentioned, that is what makes gossip appealing. The Corinthians cared little for the feelings or welfare of fellow believers. It was every person for himself. Like the Pharisees, they paid little attention to others, except when those others were failing or sinning. Man’s depravity causes him to rejoice in the depravity of others. It is that depraved pleasure that sells magazines and newspapers that cater to exposés, “true confessions,” and the like. It is the same sort of pleasure that makes children tattle on brothers and sisters. Whether to feel self-righteous by exposing another’s sin or to enjoy that sin vicariously, we all are tempted to take a certain kind of pleasure in the sins of others. Love has no part in that. It does not expose or exploit, gloat or condemn. It bears; it does not bare.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12). We can measure our love for a person by how quick we are to cover his faults. When one of our children does something wrong we are inclined to put the best face on it. “He didn’t understand what he was doing,” we explain, or “She didn’t really mean what she said.” With a person we do not like, however, our reaction is likely to be the opposite: “That is typical of John,” or, “What would you expect from someone like her?”

Love does not justify sin or compromise with falsehood. Love warns, corrects, exhorts, rebukes, and disciplines. But love does not expose or broadcast failures and wrongs. It covers and protects. Henry Ward Beecher said, “God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgetfulness.”

The mercy seat, where the blood of atonement was sprinkled (Lev. 16:14), was a covering, not only for the ark itself but for the sins of the people. The mercy seat was a place of covering. That covering prefigured the perfect and final covering of sin accomplished by Jesus on the cross in His great propitiatory sacrifice (Rom. 3:25–26; Heb. 2:17; 1 John 2:2). In the cross God threw the great mantle of His love over sin, forever covering it for those who trust in His Son. By nature, love is redemptive. It wants to buy back, not condemn, to save, not judge.

Love feels the pain of those it loves and helps carry the burden of the hurt. True love is even willing to take the consequences of the sin of those it loves. Isaiah wrote of Jesus Christ, “Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; … He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him” (Isa. 53:4–5). As Peter knew firsthand from Jesus’ great patience and kindness, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8).

During Oliver Cromwell’s reign as lord protector of England a young soldier was sentenced to die. The girl to whom he was engaged pleaded with Cromwell to spare the life of her beloved, but to no avail. The young man was to be executed when the curfew bell sounded, but when the sexton repeatedly pulled the rope the bell made no sound. The girl had climbed into the belfry and wrapped herself around the clapper so that it could not strike the bell. Her body was smashed and bruised, but she did not let go until the clapper stopped swinging. She managed to climb down, bruised and bleeding, to meet those awaiting the execution. When she explained what she had done, Cromwell commuted the sentence. A poet beautifully recorded the story as follows:

At his feet she told her story, showed her hands all bruised and torn, And her sweet young face still haggard with the anguish it had worn, Touched his heart with sudden pity, lit his eyes with misty light. “Go, your lover lives,” said Cromwell; “Curfew will not ring tonight.”^[2]

In this one verse, Paul speaks of four different qualities of love, all linked to each other by the word rendered “all things.” This rendering, “all things,” seems to fall short of communicating what Paul is saying. Love does not, for example, believe everything.¹⁸⁸

It is not “love” for a mother to believe her child when he denies getting into her freshly made pie, when the meringue has formed a mustache around his mouth.

• Love bears all things: the word bears (stegei) means both to cover all things and to bear up under all things.
• Love does both: it stands up under the weight and onslaught of all things and it covers up the faults of others.
• It has no pleasure in exposing the wrong and weaknesses of others.
• Love bears up under any neglect, abuse, ridicule—anything that is thrown against it.
• When it learns something unpleasant about another it does not run and scatter it all over the neighborhood. It does not take delight in some of the misdeeds of others.
• Not that it will not do something about it, but it does not spread it about for others to hear.

Paul has just written that love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (verse 6). How can he now inform us that “love” accepts everything as truth, believing whatever one is told?

For these reasons, some translations have chosen to render Paul’s words differently:

7 “There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance” (The New English Bible).

7 “Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything” (Phillips).

Love is always characterized by certain qualities, without exception. Throughout history, man has sought to excuse disobedience or sin by convincing himself that his situation is an exception.

Jesus was asked if a man could divorce his wife for any reason at all (Matthew 19:3). His response was a refusal to dwell on the exceptions and to focus on the rule.

The love of Jesus always protects; it bears all things. He did and still does endure, support, forbear, and cover all things. His death on the cross covered our sins, and now he provides the power necessary to help us grow in our love for him and for each other.

He continues to provide forgiveness for our failures. This covering includes discipline when necessary (Hebrews 12:5-13).

This is why Paul has already excluded any “loopholes” in the Bible, by insisting that whenever we succumb to temptation, it is not because we had to (“There was nothing else I could do … after all, I’m only human …”), but because we failed to act upon God’s divinely provided “way of escape”:

13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

And so Paul informs his readers that there are four things love never ceases to possess and to practice, four things which can always be expected from genuine love.

(1) Love always bears up under adversity (“bears all things”).

Love “patiently accepts all things” (NCV)
Love “always supports” (TNT)
Love “never gives up” (GNB)

… here the apostle seems to be saying something about the endurance of love, its ability to go on no matter what the opposition.¹⁸⁹

Edwards points out that the Greek term employed by Paul has two senses:

The term used here by Paul “… means originally ‘cover over,’” … then, “contain as a vessel.” From this latter meaning two metaphorical uses of the word are derived, either of which may be here adopted: (1) that love hides or is silent about the faults of others; (2) that love bears without resentment injuries inflicted by others.¹⁹⁰

I do not believe we are forced to one choice or the other. It is completely within the realm of possibility that Paul meant us to understand this word in terms of its broader range of meaning. If this is so, we can see two major dimensions to love’s consistent capacity to “hold up” rather than “fold up.”

First, love bears up silently; that is, love covers sin with a cloak of silence. Sin is shameful, and love does not wish the sinner to be shamed more than necessary.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12). We can measure our love for a person by how quick we are to cover his faults. When one of our children does something wrong we are inclined to put the best face on it. “He didn’t understand what he was doing,” we explain, or “She didn’t really mean what she said.” With a person we do not like, however, our reaction is likely to be the opposite: “That is typical of John,” or, “What would you expect from someone like her?”

Love does not justify sin or compromise with falsehood. Love warns, corrects, exhorts, rebukes, and disciplines. But love does not expose or broadcast failures and wrongs. It covers and protects. Henry Ward Beecher said, “God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgetfulness.”

Noah’s son, Ham, broadcast his father’s shame to his brothers when Noah was drunk and naked in his tent. His brothers “covered” Noah’s nakedness in a way that prevented them from viewing his shame (Genesis 9:20-23).

Peter reminds us that Jesus suffered silently, not responding verbally to the abuses hurled upon Him, and that this pattern of silent suffering is to be followed by all the saints (1 Peter 2:18–3:15; 4:8).

Matthew’s Gospel sheds further light on this matter of our silence when Jesus teaches His disciples about church discipline (Matthew 18:15-20). We are to go privately to a brother who has sinned against us, and if he repents as a result of our rebuke, the matter is settled, never to be made public.

If, however, this wayward brother resists and refuses to repent, then the matter once dealt with in the strictest privacy must now be dealt with in a way that becomes more and more public. After all efforts to turn the wayward brother from sin have been rejected, the whole church must be notified of his sin, and he must be publicly ex-communicated.

Love always seeks to keep the sin of a wayward brother as private as possible, but this does not mean we cannot and should not be confronted publicly, if all private efforts have failed.

The mercy seat, where the blood of atonement was sprinkled (Lev. 16:14), was a covering, not only for the ark itself but for the sins of the people. The mercy seat was a place of covering. That covering prefigured the perfect and final covering of sin accomplished by Jesus on the cross in His great propitiatory sacrifice (Rom. 3:25-26; Heb. 2:17; 1 John 2:2). In the cross God threw the great mantle of His love over sin, forever covering it for those who trust in His Son. By nature, love is redemptive. It wants to buy back, not condemn, to save, not judge.

Love feels the pain of those it loves and helps carry the burden of the hurt. True love is even willing to take the consequences of the sin of those it loves. Isaiah wrote of Jesus Christ, “Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried;… He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was rushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him” (Isa. 53:4-5). As  Peter knew firsthand from Jesus’ great patience and kindness, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8).

During Oliver Cromwell’s reign as lord protector of England a young soldier was sentenced to die. The girl to whom he was engaged pleaded with Cromwell to spare the life of her beloved, but to no avail. The young man was to be executed when the curfew bell sounded, but when the sexton repeatedly pulled the rope the bell made no sound. The girl had climbed into the belfry and wrapped herself around the clapper so that it could not strike the bell. Her body was smashed and bruised, but she did not let go until the clapper stopped swinging. She managed to climb down, bruised and bleeding, to meet those awaiting the execution. When she explained what she had done, Cromwell commuted the sentence. A poet beautifully recorded the story as follows:

At his feet she told her story; showed her hands all bruised and torn, And her sweet young face still haggard with the anguish it had worn, Touched his heart with sudden pity, lit his eyes with misty light.

“Go, your lover lives,” said Cromwell; “Curfew will not ring tonight.”

Love … bears all things…

How long must I put up with you?  Jesus’ actions answered his own question.… Until the rooster sings and the sweat stings and the mallet rings and a hillside of demons smirk at a dying God. How long? Long enough for every sin to so soak my sinless soul that heaven will turn in horror  until my swollen lips pronounce the final transaction: “It is finished.” How long? Until it kills me.

Paul was never more the wordsmith than when he crafted this sentence. Listen to its rhythm as originally written: panta stegei, panta pisteuei, panta elpigei, panta upomenei. (Now when people ask you what you are doing, you can say, “I’m reading some Greek.” Say it humbly, however, for love does not boast.) Did you notice the fourfold appearance of panta ?

Expansions of panta appear in your English dictionary. Pantheism is the belief that God is in all things. A pantry is a cupboard where one can, hopefully, store all things. A panacea is a cure for all things. And a panoply is an array of all things. Panta means “all things.”

Such love isn’t easy. Not for you. Not for me. Not even for Jesus. Want proof? Listen to his frustration: “You people have no faith. How long must I stay with you? How long must I put up with you?” ( Mark 9:19 ).

To know Jesus asked such a question reassures us. But to hear how he answered it will change us. How long must I put up with you?

“Long enough to be called crazy by my brothers and a liar by my neighbors. Long enough to be run out of my town and my Temple. Long enough to be laughed at, cursed, slapped, hit, blindfolded, and mocked. Long enough to feel warm spit and sharp whips and see my own blood puddle at my feet.” ^[3]

 

^[1] Bruce B. Barton and Grant R. Osborne, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Life Application Bible Commentary (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1999), 190–191.

^[2] John F. MacArthur Jr., 1 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), 352–353.

[3]Lucado, M. 2002. A love worth giving : Living in the overflow of God’s love. W Pub. Group: Nashville, Tenn.

Love rejoices in the truth: rejoices when the truth is known and when it prevails; rejoices when others are recognized and promoted for whom they are and for what they have contributed.

Love rejoices when the truth is rooted and grounded in a person and among the people of the world. Note that love never covers nor hides the truth; love is courageous in that it faces the truth.

Love rejoices with the truth. That is not so easy as it sounds.  There are times when we definitely do not want the truth to prevail; and still more times when it is the last thing we wish to hear.  Christian love has no wish to veil the truth; it has nothing to conceal and so is glad when the truth prevails.

After mentioning eight negatives, things that love is not or does not do, Paul lists five more positives (see v. 4a). The first is a contrast with the last negative: love rejoices with the truth.

At first glance it may seem strange to contrast not rejoicing in unrighteousness with rejoicing in the truth. But the truth Paul is speaking about here is not simply factual truth. He is speaking of God’s truth, God’s revealed Word.

Righteousness is predicated on God’s truth and cannot exist apart from it. Love always rejoices in God’s truth and never with falsehood or false teaching. Love cannot tolerate wrong doctrine. It makes no sense to say, “It doesn’t make a great difference if people don’t agree with us about doctrine. What matters is that we love them.” “Why do we nit-pick so much about who is a Christian?”

That is the basic view of what is commonly called the ecumenical movement. But if we love others it will matter a great deal to us whether or not what they believe is right or wrong. What they believe affects their souls, their eternal destinies, and their representation of God’s will, and therefore should be of the highest concern to us. It also affects the souls and destinies of those whom they influence.

What is Truth? This is an age-old question, but many of our time feel it has become an accepted fact among most “learned” people that we can know “truth” (with a small “t”)–but that we cannot know “Truth” (with a big “T”). We can identify pieces of data, events, conditions, etc., as being real and factual–but the big questions of the universe, ultimate Truth, are impossible to answer.

Love is consistent with kindness but it is not consistent with compromise of the truth. Compromising the truth is not kind to those whom we mislead by our failure to stand firmly in the truth. 2 John 6–10 (ESV) And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. ⁷ For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. ⁸ Watch yourselves, so that you may not lose what we have worked for, but may win a full reward. ⁹ Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. ¹⁰ If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting,

“This is love,” John tells us, “that we walk according to His commandments” (2 John 6).

To compromise, for example, with those who cast doubt on the incarnation is not loving, and it risks losing reward (vv. 7-8).

Love, truth, and righteousness are inseparable. When one is weakened the others are weakened. A person who teaches falsehood about God’s truth should not even be received into our home or given a greeting (v. 10). We are not to rejoice in a wrong doctrine that he teaches or in a wrong way in which he lives. Love rejoices in the truth and never in falsehood or unrighteousness.

On the other hand, love does not focus on the wrongs of others. It does not parade their faults for all the world to see. Love does not disregard falsehood and unrighteousness, but as much as possible it focuses on the true and the right. It looks for the good, hopes for the good, and emphasizes the good. It rejoices in those who teach the truth and live the truth.

Do you want to know if your love for someone is true? If your friendship is genuine? Check the room key. Ask yourself: Do I influence this person to do what is right?

(Matthew 10:15 NIV)  I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

(Matthew 10:42 NIV)  And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.”

(Matthew 18:3 NIV)  And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

 (Matthew 19:23 NIV)  Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

(Matthew 21:31 NIV)  “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

 (Mark 10:29 NIV)  “I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel

(John 4:23-24 NIV)  Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. {24} God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”

(John 6:53 NIV)  Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

 (John 8:32 NIV)  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

(John 8:44-46 NIV)  You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. {45} Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! {46} Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me?

(John 8:51 NIV)  I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.”

(John 14:6 NIV)  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

(Galatians 4:16 NIV)  Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?

(1 Timothy 3:15 NIV)  if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.

(2 Timothy 2:15 NIV)  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

(Hebrews 10:26 NIV)  If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,

(1 John 1:6 NIV)  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.

(1 John 1:8 NIV)  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

(1 John 2:4 NIV)  The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

(1 John 3:18-19 NIV)  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. {19} This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at ry.

est in his presence

 (1 Corinthians 13:6 NIV)  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

”What is a Christian?” The Bible has a definitive answer to this question, as it does with most others. According to the Scriptures, Christians are those who have come to realize their own sinfulness before God and their inability to save themselves, have turned to Jesus Christ in faith and repentance, they are willing to confess the name of Jesus in public and are gladly immersed in water in order to have their sins forgiven/washed away.

But it does not end there…there is growth or maturity as one seeks to become more like Jesus and seeks to know God’s will…and have the courage to act on it.

The first principle is: There IS such a thing as Truth, it is propositional, it is recorded in God’s Word, it is to be the focal point of our lives, and it is personified in Jesus Christ. Contrary to the teachings and beliefs of human philosophers and occult religionists, Truth exists. Truth is propositional, that means it is something we can put into word, phrases, and sentences that make sense. Truth is recorded in God’s Word (John 17:17). We can find the answers to life’s questions in the Book of Books. Truth is meant to be the focal point of one’s life We are to know the Truth and to live it.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

The second major principle of THY Word is Truth is that Biblical Truth is objective “TRUE” Truth. Unlike liberal, existential forms of the Christian faith, Biblical faith teaches that the events recorded in the Bible are reliable historical facts.

Thirdly, what does the Bible say about the Purpose of Human Life? It teaches that the human race is a special creation of a personal, loving, God, and our purpose as a race and as individuals is to glorify Him, to be conformed to the image of Christ Jesus His Son, and to live with Him forever.

It is our destiny and reward as believers to be conformed to the likeness, the image, of Christ. We won’t BE Him; we will never have His attributes of Omnipotence, Omniscience, Omnipresence, and Immutability–but our actions and our countenance will be more like Him.

Philippians 2:9–11 (ESV) Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

God has decreed that every knee will bow to His son, including those under the earth, which is a Biblical reference to Hell. We were created to glorify God, and every human being will.

Some will do it as they rejoice in heaven over the salvation of Christ, and some will do it as they suffer the just eternal punishment for their sins.

The final part of the purpose of our existence is to Live with God forever. Oh, what a joy, to live in the presence of God eternally, to have no sin or human troubles to worry us, and to enjoy sweet fellowship with Him!

When all of this is taken together, a balanced Christian life will emerge. We will not be either lazy or workaholics; we will have an ordered family with a loving atmosphere; we will serve God in every way.

This is how life is to be lived–our life is not separated into our “private, religious life” and our “secular” life. The life of a Christian is to be one seamless tapestry, with all parts working together under the direction of the Holy Spirit, by the rule of God’s word, following God’s Son for the glory of the Triune God.

Today, let’s decide, as best we are able, to recognize truth, to appreciate it for what it is, and act, with God’s help, to practice it till the last breath we take.

Love rejoices in the truth: rejoices when the truth is known and when it prevails; rejoices when others are recognized and promoted for whom they are and for what they have contributed.

 Love rejoices when the truth is rooted and grounded in a person and among the people of the world. Note that love never covers nor hides the truth; love is courageous in that it faces the truth.

Love rejoices with the truth. That is not so easy as it sounds.  There are times when we definitely do not want the truth to prevail; and still more times when it is the last thing we wish to hear.

Christian love has no wish to veil the truth; it has nothing to conceal and so is glad when the truth prevails.

 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

At first glance it may seem strange to contrast not rejoicing in unrighteousness with rejoicing in the truth. But the truth Paul is speaking about here is not simply factual truth. He is speaking of God’s truth, God’s revealed Word.

 Righteousness is predicated on God’s truth and cannot exist apart from it. Love always rejoices in God’s truth and never with falsehood or false teaching. Love cannot tolerate wrong doctrine.

It makes no sense to say, “It doesn’t make a great difference if people don’t agree with us about doctrine. What matters is that we love them.”

“Why do we nit-pick so much about who is a Christian?”

That is the basic view of what is commonly called the ecumenical movement.

The ecumenical movement is the brain child of the Roman Catholic Church. This moment gained momentum during the Second Vatican Council held in Rome from 1962 to 1965. The primary purpose of the ecumenical movement is to draw individuals, groups and churches back into the Roman Catholic religious system.

But if we love others it will matter a great deal to us whether or not what they believe is right or wrong.

What we believe affects our souls, our eternal destinies, and our representation of God’s will, and therefore should be of the highest concern to us. It also affects the souls and destinies of those whom they influence.

What is Truth? This is an age-old question, but feel it has become an accepted fact among most “learned” people that we can know “truth” (with a small “t”)–but that we cannot know “Truth” (with a big “T”). We can identify pieces of data, events, conditions, etc., as being real and factual–but the big questions of the universe, ultimate Truth, are impossible to answer.

Agape (love) is consistent with kindness but it is not consistent with compromising of the truth.

Compromising the truth is not kind to those whom we mislead by our failure to stand firmly in the truth.

2 John 6–10 (ESV) And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. ⁷ For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. ⁸ Watch yourselves, so that you may not lose what we have worked for, but may win a full reward. ⁹ Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. ¹⁰ If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting,

To compromise, for example, with those who cast doubt on the incarnation is not loving, and it risks losing reward.

Love, truth, and righteousness are inseparable. When one is weakened the others are weakened.

We are not to rejoice in a wrong doctrine that he teaches or in a wrong way in which he lives. Love rejoices in the truth and never in falsehood or unrighteousness.

On the other hand, love does not focus on the wrongs of others. It does not parade their faults for all the world to see.

Love does not disregard falsehood and unrighteousness, but as much as possible it focuses on the true and the right.

It looks for the good, hopes for the good, and emphasizes the good. It rejoices in those who teach the truth and live the truth.

Do you want to know if your love for someone is true? If your friendship is genuine? Check the room key. Ask yourself: Do I influence this person to do what is right?

(Matthew 10:15 NIV)  I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

(Matthew 10:42 NIV)  And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.”

(Matthew 18:3 NIV)  And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

 (Matthew 19:23 NIV)  Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

(Matthew 21:31 NIV)  “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

 (Mark 10:29 NIV)  “I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel

(John 4:23-24 NIV)  Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. {24} God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”

(John 6:53 NIV)  Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

 (John 8:32 NIV)  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

(John 8:44-46 NIV)  You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. {45} Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! {46} Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me?

(John 8:51 NIV)  I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.”

(John 14:6 NIV)  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

(Galatians 4:16 NIV)  Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?

(1 Timothy 3:15 NIV)  if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.

(2 Timothy 2:15 NIV)  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

(Hebrews 10:26 NIV)  If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,

(1 John 1:6 NIV)  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.

(1 John 1:8 NIV)  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

(1 John 2:4 NIV)  The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

(1 John 3:18-19 NIV)  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. {19} This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence

 (1 Corinthians 13:6 NIV)  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

1. S. Lewis wrote that when one comes to see and understand the truth. “I must do something about it.”

This congregation has always been part of “The Restoration Movement.”

There are some common statements that help to explain this:

·       “That the Bible is the only rule of faith and practice for Christians.”

·       “That the Old and New Testaments alone contain the authoritative constitution of the church which Christ built.”

·       “That no human authority has power to amend or change the original constitution and laws of the church.”

·       “That faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God is a sufficient profession to entitle a man or woman to become a member of the church which Christ built.”

·       “That division among Christians is anti-Christian, anti-scriptural, unnatural, and to be abhorred.”

·       “That neglect of the revealed will of God and the introduction of human innovations are and have been the causes of all the corruptions and divisions that have ever taken place in the church…”

·       “That all that is necessary to secure the highest state of purity and perfection in the church is to restore the original ordinances and constitution as exhibited in the New Testament.”

 “What is a Christian?” The Bible has a definitive answer to this question, as it does with most others.

According to the Scriptures, Christians are those who have come to realize their own sinfulness before God and their inability to save themselves, have turned to Jesus Christ in faith and repentance, they are willing to confess the name of Jesus in public and are gladly immersed in water in order to have their sins forgiven/washed away.

But it does not end there…there is growth or maturity as one seeks to become more like Jesus and seeks to know God’s will…and have the courage to act on it.

Philippians 2:9–11 (ESV) Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Today, let’s decide, as best we are able, to recognize truth, to appreciate it for what it is, and act, with God’s help, to practice it till we take our last breath.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity: unrighteousness, evil, wrong-doing. Love does not take pleasure in the un-righteousness and sin of others; it does not feed upon sin and wrong, nor does it pass along the stories of sin and wrong. Man’s too often has fed the tragedy of evil, whether personal sin or natural disaster.

When believers show love, they do not delight in evil, either by showing superior morality over it or by taking pleasure in another’s fall. Love does not take pleasure in any kind of evil. Instead, love does the exact opposite—it rejoices with the truth. Through their relationship with Jesus Christ, believers possess the one and only truth (John 14:6). Those who love should remain untainted by evil. Instead, they ought to always seek truth, desire that truth win out, protect the truth, and proclaim the truth whenever.

Love finds no pleasure in evil-doing.  It might be better to translate this that love finds no pleasure in anything that is wrong.  It is not so much delight in doing the wrong thing that is meant, as the malicious pleasure which comes to most of us when we hear something derogatory about someone else.  It is one of the queer traits of human nature that very often we prefer to hear of the misfortune of others rather than of their good fortune.  It is much easier to weep with them that weep than to rejoice with those who rejoice.  Christian love has none of that human malice which finds pleasure in all reports.

The rejoicing at sin, the taking pleasure in them that commit sin, the exultation over the fall of others into sin, are among the worst forms of malignity:

(Romans 1:32 NIV)  Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

(2 Thessalonians 2:12 NIV)  “…and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.

The Greeks had a word, ejpicairekaki to describe “rejoicing at the evil” (whether sin or misfortune) of others:

(Proverbs 24:17 NIV)  Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice).

Love never takes satisfaction from sin, whether our own sin or that of others. Doing wrong things is bad enough in itself; bragging about them makes the sins even worse. To rejoice in unrighteousness is to justify it. It is making wrong appear to be right.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil,” Isaiah warns, “who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness” (Isa. 5:20). That is turning God’s truth upside down.

Among the most popular magazines, books, and TV programs are those that glorify sin, that literally rejoice in unrighteousness. More and more explicitly they declare that anything goes and that every person sets his own standards of right and wrong.

The belief today: what is right is doing what you want! Even much news amounts to rejoicing in unrighteousness, because violence, crime, immorality, slander, and the like are attractive to the natural mind and heart.

Christians are not immune from enjoying such things, either because we find them entertaining or because we feel self-righteous about not doing them ourselves.

Sometimes rejoicing in unrighteousness takes the form of hoping someone will make a mistake or fall into sin. I have known Christians who wanted to be rid of their marriage partners or were already divorced.

But because they believe that remarriage is unbiblical unless the other party was unfaithful, they actually hoped their spouses would commit adultery so that they themselves could be scripturally free to remarry!

Rejoicing in sin is wrong first of all because sin is an affront to God.

We cannot imagine taking delight in a tragedy that befalls a friend or loved one; yet when we delight in sin, we are delighting in that which offends and grieves our heavenly Father and which is tragedy to Him.

If we love God, what offends Him will offend us and what grieves Him will grieve us.

(Psalms 69:9 NIV)  for zeal for your house consumes me, and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.

When God was dishonored David was grieved, because the One whom he loved above all others was maligned. When we enjoy sin, either directly or vicariously in seeing others sin, we prove our lack of love for God.

One of the most common forms of rejoicing in sin is gossip. Gossips would do little harm if they did not have so many eager listeners. This sin, which many Christians treat lightly, is wicked not only because it uncaringly reveals the weaknesses and sins of others, and therefore hurts rather than helps them, but because the heart of gossip is often rejoicing or seemingly delighting in evil. Gossip that is true is still gossip.

It is the way unfavorable truth is passed on, and often simply the fact that it is passed on, that makes gossip gossip. The essence of gossip is gloating over the shortcomings and sins of others, which makes gossip a great sin itself. A person is never helped by spreading the news of his sin.

Granville Walker said, There are times when silence is yellow, times when we ought to stand on our feet and regardless of the consequences challenge the gross evils of the time, times when not to do so is the most blatant form of cowardice. But there are other times when silence is golden, when to tell the truth is to make many hearts bleed needlessly and when nothing is accomplished and everything is hurt by a loose tongue.

Second, rejoicing in sin is wrong because of the consequences it has on the one who sins.

Sin can produce nothing but harm. In the unsaved person sin is evidence of his lostness. In a believer sin is evidence of disobedience and broken fellowship with God. To love a person is to hate his sin. Discipline in the church is necessary not only to protect the purity of the body but to help the sinning believer confront his wrong and to repent:

(Matthew 18:15-20 NIV)  “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. {16} But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ {17} If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. {18} “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. {19} “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. {20} For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

Paul had reminded the Corinthians of his command:

(1 Corinthians 5:11 NIV)  But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

 In his second letter to Thessalonica he said,

(2 Thessalonians 3:6 NIV)  In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

 That the apostle considered this principle entirely consistent with love, in fact a necessary part of love, is seen in the previous verse: “And may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ” (v. 5). Love cannot tolerate evil or rejoice in it in any way.

Finding out what a person enjoys—what gives them pleasure and causes them to rejoice—may be very revealing about the character of that person. For example, an off-color joke may be funny or enjoyable—but not righteous. Paul says love looks to the truth of God’s Word (and secondarily to truth in general) to define that which it can enjoy, that over which it can rejoice.

Secular entertainment offers a good illustration; many movies set us up to take pleasure in that which is not righteous. Often the villain is characterized by incredible violence and cruelty. All through the movie, he does things designed to cause us to hate him with a passion. We don’t want him to be caught and sent to prison. We don’t want him to be convicted and given the death penalty. We want this person to die in the worst conceivable way.

And so, in the end, the individual gets his reward, dying the most painful, violent death the film writer can conceive. And we find ourselves watching this man die with great pleasure, rejoicing in that which is far from righteous.

Christians reject a great many movies for explicit sex, violence, or filthy language, and rightly so. But these blatantly offensive or evil films tend to desensitize us toward films which are evil in a more subtle way.

We breathe a sigh of relief when we find a movie with a “G” or perhaps a “PG” rating. Here is a movie we can take the family to see. But some of these movies may tempt us to rejoice in unrighteousness without even realizing it.

A few years ago, a family film started with a woman taking off her wedding ring and leaving it with a note to her husband. As the movie went on, the woman was portrayed as a caring woman who developed a special relationship with a handicapped child. She met a warm, sensitive doctor with whom she “fell in love.”

The calloused, insensitive husband then appears, and as the drama concludes, the husband is sent packing as the woman, the doctor, and the young girl are brought together—a supposedly happy ending which makes the viewer feel good.

You find yourself thinking the husband deserved divorce, and the woman deserved “happiness.”  But there is a problem: there were no biblical grounds for divorce.

From the standpoint of biblical revelation, the woman and the doctor were committing adultery. And so, in what seems like a “good, clean, family film,” we rejoice over that which is not righteous.

Love takes no pleasure in unrighteousness. Love sets its mind on what is right:

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you (Philippians 4:8-9).

Here is the way to unity. Love dwells on what is right and then does what is right. This is the way to peace.

Want to separate the fake from the factual, the counterfeit from the real thing? Want to know if what you feel is genuine love? Ask yourself this:

Do I encourage this person to do what is right? For true love “takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth” ( 1 Cor. 13:6 jb) .

For instance, one lady calls another and says, “We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

“If my husband asks, you tell him we were together at the movies last night.”

“But we weren’t.”

“I know, but I was, well, I was with another guy and—hey, you’ll do this for me, won’t you? We’re friends, right? Tighter than sisters, right?”

Does this person pass the test? No way. Love doesn’t ask someone to do what is wrong.

If you find yourself prompting evil in others, heed the alarm. This is not love. And if others prompt evil in you, be alert.

Here’s an example. A classic one. A young couple are on a date. His affection goes beyond her comfort zone. She resists. But he tries to persuade her with the oldest line in the book: “But I love you. I just want to be near you. If you loved me …”

That siren you hear? It’s the phony-love detector. This guy doesn’t love her. He may love having sex with her. He may love her body. He may love boasting to his buddies about his conquest. But he doesn’t love her. True love will never ask the “beloved” to do what he or she thinks is wrong.

Love doesn’t tear down the convictions of others. Quite the contrary. “Love builds up” ( 1 Cor. 8:1 ).

“Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light and will not cause anyone to stumble” ( 1 John 2:10).

“You are sinning against Christ when you sin against other Christians by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong” ( 1 Cor. 8:12 nlt ).

Do you want to know if your love for someone is true? If your friendship is genuine? Ask yourself: Do I influence this person to do what is right?

You want to plumb the depths of your love for someone? How do you feel when that person succeeds? Do you rejoice? Or are you jealous? And when he or she stumbles? Falls to misfortune? Are you really sorry? Or are you secretly pleased?

Love never celebrates misfortune. Never. I like the way Eugene Peterson translates the passage: “Love … doesn’t revel when others grovel, [but] takes pleasure in the flowering of truth” ( 1 Cor. 13:6 msg ).

1. B. Phillips is equally descriptive: “Love … does not … gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it shares the joy of those who live by the truth.”

You know your love is real when you weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.

God passes the test of 1 Corinthians 13:7 . Does he want the best for you? “God himself does not tempt anyone” ( James 1:13).

Every action of heaven has one aim: that you know God. “He … made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him” ( Acts 17:26–27 msg ).

And does God rejoice when you do what is right? Certainly. “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” ( Ps. 147:11 niv ).

Does he weep when you do? Absolutely! He is the “God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times” ( 2 Cor. 1:3–4 msg ).

Do you want to know what love is? “This is what real love is: It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us in sending his Son to be the way to take away our sins” ( 1 John 4:10 ).

 

Love does not think evil (logizetai to kakon): does not consider the wrong suffered; is not resentful; does not hold the evil done to oneself. Love suffers the evil done to it and forgets it.

Believers must not allow themselves to become easily angered, and they must not keep record of wrongs. Such people will remember every offense against them as though it were written in a book and tallied. These “wrongs” are not sins that need to be dealt with in the congregation (such as that described in chapter 5) but minor offenses or misunderstandings between believers. Those who keep record of these wrongs and personal injuries will harbor resentment against other believers. Love, however, makes allowances for people’s foibles and flaws and willingly forgets when wrongs were done. This frees all believers to grow and mature in Christ and to grow in their ability to serve and use their gifts. When mistakes are made, love overlooks them and allows believers to continue to serve with the gifts God has given them. God does not keep a record of believers’ wrongs (2 Corinthians 5:19).

Love does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.  The word translated store up (logizeshthai) is an accountant’s word.  It is the word used for entering up an item in a ledger so that it will not be forgotten.  That is precisely what so many people do.  One of the great arts in life is to learn what to forget.  A writer tells how “in Polynesia, where the natives spend much of their time in fighting and feasting, it is customary for each man to keep some reminders of his hatred.  Articles are suspended from the roofs of their huts to keep alive the memory of their wrongs-real or imaginary.”  In the same way many people nurse their wrath to keep it warm; they brood over their wrongs until it is impossible to forget them.  Christian love has learned the great lesson of forgetting.

Paul tells us that love “does not take into account a wrong suffered.” I like what Morris writes on this point: “Paul’s next point is that love does not, so to speak, go around with a little black book making a note of every evil thing. ‘Love keeps no score of wrongs,’ says Paul (the NEB translation). We find it hard to forget it when people offend us, often storing up such grievances.’”¹⁸⁵ Some saints seem to have photographic memories when it comes to offenses against them. One little irritation brings to mind an entire file of previous offenses, carefully annotated and documented. This kind of mental bookkeeping¹⁸⁶ only serves to fuel resentment and certainly does not facilitate true reconciliation.

This (take into account) is a bookkeeping term that means to calculate or reckon, as when figuring an entry in a ledger. The purpose of the entry is to make a permanent record that can be consulted whenever needed. In business that practice is necessary, but in personal matters it is not only unnecessary but harmful. Keeping track of things done against us is a sure way to unhappiness—our own and that of those on whom we keep records.

The same Greek word is used often in the New Testament to represent the pardoning act of God for those who trust in Jesus Christ. “Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account” (Rom. 4:8). “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them” (2 Cor. 5:19). Once sin is placed under the blood of Christ there is no more record of it. It is blotted out, “wiped away” (Acts 3:19). In God’s heavenly record the only entry after the names of His redeemed is “righteous,” because we are counted righteous in Christ. Christ’s righteousness is placed to our credit. No other record exists.

That is the sort of record love keeps of wrongs done against it. No wrong is ever recorded for later reference. Love forgives. Someone once suggested that love does not forgive and forget, but rather remembers and still forgives. Resentment is careful to keep books, which it reads and rereads, hoping for a chance to get even. Love keeps no books, because it has no place for resentment or grudges.

Chrysostom observed that a wrong done against love is like a spark that falls into the sea and is quenched. Love quenches wrongs rather than records them. It does not cultivate memories out of evils. If God so completely and permanently erases the record of our many sins against Him, how much more should we forgive and forget the much lesser wrongs done against us (cf. Matt. 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32)?

The Pelicano is the world’s most unwanted ship. Since 1986 she has been the hobo of the high seas. No one wants her. Sri Lanka doesn’t. Bermuda doesn’t. The Dominican Republic turned her away. So did the Netherlands, the Antilles, and Honduras.

The problem is not the boat. Though rusty and barnacled, the 466-foot freighter is seaworthy. The problem is not the ownership. The owners have kept the license current and taxes paid. The problem is not the crew. They may feel unwanted, but they aren’t inefficient.

Then what is the problem? What is the reason for years of rejections? Waved away in Sri Lanka. Turned away in Indonesia. Rejected in Haiti. Why is the Pelicano the most unwanted ship in the world?

Simple. She is full of trash. Fifteen thousand tons of trash. Orange peelings. Beer bottles. Newspapers. Half-eaten hot dogs. Trash. The trash of Philadelphia’s long summer of 1986. That’s when the municipal workers went on strike. That’s when the trash piled higher and higher. That’s when Georgia refused it and New Jersey declined it. No one wanted Philadelphia’s trash.

That’s when the Pelicano entered the picture. The owners thought they would turn a quick penny by transporting the rubbish. The trash was burned, and the ashes were dumped into the belly of the boat. But no one would take it. Initially it was too much. Eventually it was too old. Who wants potentially toxic trash? ^[1]1

The plight of the Pelicano is proof. Trash-filled ships find few friends. The plight of the Pelicano is also a parable. Trash-filled hearts don’t fare any better.

I wonder if you can relate to the Pelicano. Are you unwanted at the dock? Drifting farther from friends and family? If so, you might check your heart for garbage. Who wants to offer dock space to a smelly heart?

Life has a way of unloading her rubbish on our decks. Your husband works too much. Your wife gripes too much. Your boss expects too much. Your kids whine too much. The result? Trash. Load after load of anger. Guilt. Pessimism. Bitterness. Bigotry. Anxiety. Deceit. Impatience. It all piles up.

Trash affects us. It contaminates our relationships. It did Cain’s. He had anger in his mind before he had blood on his hands. And Martha? Martha was meddlesome in her attitude before she was quarrelsome with her tongue. And what about the Pharisees? They killed Christ in their hearts before they killed him on the cross.

Mark it down. Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions.

Today’s jealousy is tomorrow’s temper tantrum.

Today’s bigotry is tomorrow’s hate crime.

Today’s anger is tomorrow’s abuse.

Today’s lust is tomorrow’s adultery.

Today’s greed is tomorrow’s embezzlement.

Today’s guilt is tomorrow’s fear.

Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions. Could that be why Paul writes, “Love … keeps no record of wrongs” ( 1 Cor. 13:5 niv )? Let trash on board, and people are going to smell it. The troubles for the Pelicano began with the first shovelful. The crew should have turned it away at the gate. Life would have been easier for everyone on board if they had never allowed the trash to pile up.

Life will be better for you if you do the same.

Some folks don’t know we have an option. To listen to our vocabulary you’d think we are the victims of our thoughts. “Don’t talk to me,” we say. “I’m in a bad mood.” As if a mood were a place to which we were assigned (“I can’t call you. I’m in Bosnia.”) rather than an emotion we permit.

Or we say, “Don’t mess with her. She has a bad disposition.” Is a disposition something we “have”? Like a cold or the flu? Are we the victims of the emotional bacteria of the season? Or do we have a choice?

Paul says we do: “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ” ( 2 Cor. 10:5 ).

Do you hear some battlefield jargon in that passage—“capture every thought,” “make it give up” and “obey Christ”? You get the impression that we are the soldiers and the thoughts are the enemies. Our assignment is to protect the boat and refuse entrance to trashy thoughts. The minute they appear on the dock we go into action. “This heart belongs to God,” we declare, “and you aren’t getting on board until you change your allegiance.”

Selfishness, step back! Envy, get lost! Find another boat, Anger! You aren’t allowed on this ship. Capturing thoughts is serious business.

It was for Jesus. Remember the thoughts that came his way courtesy of the mouth of Peter? Jesus had just prophesied his death, burial, and resurrection, but Peter couldn’t bear the thought of it. “Peter took Jesus aside and told him not to talk like that.… Jesus said to Peter, ‘Go away from me, Satan! You are not helping me! You don’t care about the things of God, but only about the things people think are important’” ( Matt. 16:22–23 ).

See the decisiveness of Jesus? A trashy thought comes his way. He is tempted to entertain it. A cross-less life would be nice. But what does he do? He stands at the gangplank of the dock and says, “Get away from me.” As if to say, “You are not allowed to enter my mind.”

What if you did that? What if you took every thought captive? What if you refused to let any trash enter your mind? What if you took the counsel of Solomon: “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life” ( Prov. 4:23 ).

 

You are driving to work when the words of your coworker come to mind. He needled you about your performance. He second-guessed your efficiency. Why was he so hard on you? You begin to wonder. I didn’t deserve any of that. Who is he to criticize me? Besides, he has as much taste as a rice cake. Have you seen those shoes he wears?

At this point you need to make a choice. Am I going to keep a list of these wrongs? You can. Standing on the gangplank is Self-pity and her seven sisters. They want on board. Are you going to let them? If you do, you’ll be as smelly as the Pelicano by the time you reach your office.

Or you can do something else. You can take those thoughts captive. You can defy the culprit. Quote a verse if you have to: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” ( Rom. 12:14 niv ).

Another scene. Anger at your parents is keeping you awake. You want to sleep, but this afternoon’s phone call won’t let you. As always, all they did was criticize. No compliments. No applause. Just pick, pick, pick. Why aren’t you married? When are you coming home? Why don’t you have a good job like your cousin Homer at the bank? Grrrr. See that fellow at the bottom of the gangplank? The one wearing the dark robe? He’s a judge from the court of critical attitudes. Judge Mental. Let him on board, and the two of you can spend the night passing out guilty verdicts. You can alphabetize and codify all the parents’ mistakes. Are you going to let him on board? Do so at great risk, my friend. By morning you’ll be smelling like a landfill.

Remember, just because there is trash on the dock, that doesn’t mean there must be trash on your ship. You are not a victim of your thoughts. You have a vote. You have a voice. You can exercise thought prevention. You can also exercise thought permission.

How could you change the plight of the Pelicano ? Change her cargo. Load the decks with flowers instead of trash, presents instead of ash, and no one would turn the ship away. Change the cargo, and you change the ship.

By the same token, change the thoughts, and you change the person. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way we feel about others?

Paul says absolutely! It’s not enough to keep the bad stuff out. We’ve got to let the good stuff in. It’s not enough to keep no list of wrongs. We have to cultivate a list of blessings. The same verb Paul uses for keeps in the phrase “keeps no list of wrongs” is used for think in Philippians 4:8 : “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” ( rsv ). Thinking conveys the idea of pondering—studying and focusing, allowing what is viewed to have an impact on us.

Rather than store up the sour, store up the sweet.

You want to make a list? Then list his mercies. List the times God has forgiven you. Stand face to feet with the form of your crucified Savior and pray, “Jesus, if you can forgive me for hurting you, then I can forgive them for hurting me.” You didn’t deserve to be hurt by them. But neither did you deserve to be forgiven by him.

But I’m a decent person. I’ve never done anything to hurt Christ. Be careful now. That opinion can lead to trouble. Do you really think you haven’t done things that hurt Christ?

Have you ever been dishonest with his money? That’s cheating. Has your love for flesh or fame ever turned you away from him? That’s adultery. Ever spoken an angry word with the intent to hurt? In the corpus juris of heaven, you are guilty of assault.

Have you ever been silent while he was mocked? Don’t we call that treason? Ever gone to church to be seen rather than to see him? Hypocrite. Ever broken a promise you’ve made to God? Whoa. Deceit. That’s serious.

Need we go further? Only six questions, just two inches of copy, and look at you. Guilty of dishonesty, adultery, assault, treason, hypocrisy, and deceit. A list worthy of indictment. Don’t you deserve to be punished? And yet, here you are. Reading this book. Breathing. Still witnessing sunsets and hearing babies gurgle. Still watching the seasons change. There are no lashes on your back or hooks in your nose or shackles on your feet. Apparently God hasn’t kept a list of your wrongs. Apparently David knew what he was saying: “[God] has not punished us as our sins should be punished; he has not repaid us for the evil we have done” ( Ps. 103:10 ). And he meant it when he prayed, “ Lord , if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive?” ( Ps. 130:3 nlt ).

Listen. You have not been sprinkled with forgiveness. You have not been spattered with grace. You have not been dusted with kindness. You have been immersed in it. You are submerged in mercy. You are a minnow in the ocean of his mercy. Let it change you! See if God’s love doesn’t do for you what it did for the woman in Samaria.

 

Talk about a woman who could make a list. Number one, discrimination. She is a Samaritan, hated by Jews. Number two, gender bias. She is a female, condescended to by the men. Third, she is a divorcée, not once, not twice. Let’s see if we can count. Four? Five? Five marriages turned south, and now she’s sharing a bed with a guy who won’t give her a ring.

When I add this up, I envision a happy-hour stool sitter who lives with her mad at half boil. Husky voice, cigarette breath, and a dress cut low at the top and high at the bottom. Certainly not Samaria’s finest. Certainly not the woman you’d put in charge of the Ladies’ Bible class.

Which makes the fact that Jesus does just that all the more surprising. He doesn’t just put her in charge of the class; he puts her in charge of evangelizing the whole town. Before the day is over, the entire city hears about a man who claims to be God. “He told me everything I ever did” ( John 4:39 ), she tells them, leaving unsaid the obvious, “and he loved me anyway.”

A little rain can straighten a flower stem. A little love can change a life. Who knew the last time this woman had been entrusted with anything, much less the biggest news in history! In fact, flip to the left out of John 4 , and you’ll make this startling discovery. She is Jesus’ missionary! She precedes the more noted. The lineage of Peter and Paul, St. Patrick and St. Francis of Assisi can be traced back to a town trollop who was so overwhelmed by Christ that she had to speak.

Another Pelicano forever fumigated. Why?

Not just because of what Jesus did, though that was huge. But because she let him do it. She let him on board. She let him love her. She let him change her cargo. He found her full of trash and left her full of grace. She and Zacchaeus and the apostle Paul and the woman in Capernaum and millions of others invited him into the hold of their hearts.

She didn’t have to. They didn’t have to. And you don’t have to. You really don’t.

You can stick with your long lists and stinky cargo. And drift from port to port. But why would you? Let the Pelicano have the high seas. Your Captain has better plans for you. ^[2]

[1]1 Jerry Schwartz, “Where Does One Stash That Trash Ash?” San Antonio Express News, 3 September 2000, sec. 29A.

[2] Lucado, M. 2002. A love worth giving : Living in the overflow of God’s love. W Pub. Group: Nashville, Tenn.

A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated. Proverbs 14:17

Love is not easily provoked: not easily angered; not ready to take offence; not quick tempered; not “touchy.”  It is not easily aroused to anger; does not become “exasperated.”

The word for “easily angered” could also be translated “touchy,” “irritable,” or “sensitive to slights.” Such people let things ‘linger’ so they eventually ‘get on their nerves.’

We live in a world where we are looking for reasons to be upset. The courts are filled with people being sued over words/actions that a few years back would have been laughed at.

Anger is an emotion that was God’s idea. “Be angry,” he urges, “and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26 nkjv ).

Don’t let the sun go down while you are angry.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.^[1] (When something occurs in our day, IF we do not handle it quickly, we forfeit the ‘right’ to bring it up on another day/week).

Anger is not a sin, but it can lead to sin. Perhaps your anger doesn’t lead you to shed blood, but does it make you touchy, irritable, quick-tempered, quick to take offense? Do you fly off the handle? Can you let ‘words slide off your back?’

When believers exercise their gifts in love, they will be able to give one another some latitude to follow God as they see fit. They will not let themselves be easily provoked over disagreements, but they will be able to always respond in a loving manner.

Anger can be a motivating factor when directed against wrongs or injustices. People who are “easily angered…this can stifle their service for God and the use of their gifts.

Love controls the emotions, and never becomes angry without a cause (Romans 12:18).

• The real meaning of this is that Christian love never becomes exasperated with people.
• Exasperation is always a sign of defeat.
• When we lose our tempers, we lose everything.

Kipling said that it was the test of a man if he could keep his head when everyone else was losing his and blaming it on him, and if when he was hated he did not give way to hating.  The man who is master of his temper can be master of anything.

Aristotle: Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Paul uses the term to describe a short-fused person who is easily and quickly provoked to take action which is not edifying to either party.

Love does not “blow its cork,” “lose its cool,” or “blow a fuse.” Love does not have a chip on its shoulder, looking for some tiny straw of offense so it can ventilate all its anger and hostility.

The apostle does not rule out righteous indignation. Love cannot “rejoice in unrighteousness” (1 Cor. 13:6).

• To be angered by the mistreatment of the unfortunate or by the maligning and contradiction of God’s Word is righteous indignation.
• But when it is truly righteous, indignation will never be provoked by something done against us personally. When Jesus cleansed the Temple, He was angered at the profaning of His Father’s house of worship (Matt. 21:11-12). But on the many occasions when He was personally vilified or abused, He did not once become angry or defensive.
• This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
• 1 Peter 2:20–23: But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. ²¹ For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. ²² He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. ²³ When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.^[2]
• Paul was only angered by the things that anger God. He responded strongly against such things as heresy, immorality, and misuse of spiritual gifts. But he did not become angry at those who beat him, jailed him, or lied about him (see Acts 23:1-5).

The Corinthians are obviously provoked in a number of areas. Some are provoked enough to take their brethren to court (chapter 6). Others seem provoked to divorce their mates (chapter 7). Still others are provoked to go on ahead with the Lord’s Supper without waiting for all to arrive (chapter 11).

There is a time for righteous indignation, but let us be certain it is truly righteous wrath and not just human anger with a pious label:

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace (James 3:13-18).

We get angry when another person gains a privilege or recognition we want for ourselves, because it is our “right.” But to put our rights before our duty and before loving concern for others comes from self-centeredness and lovelessness.

The loving person is more concerned about doing what he should and helping where he can than in having what he thinks are his rights and his due. Love considers nothing its right and everything its obligation.

• Telling our wives or husbands that we love them is not convincing if we continually get upset and angry at what they say and do.
• Telling our children that we love them is not convincing if we yell at them for doing things that irritate us and interfere with our own plans.
• It does no good to protest, “I lose my temper a lot, but it’s all over in a few minutes.” So is a nuclear bomb.

A great deal of damage can be done in a very short time. Temper is always destructive, and even small temper “bombs” can leave much hurt and damage, especially when they explode on a regular basis. Lovelessness is the cause of temper, and love is the only cure.

Love that takes a person outside of himself and centers his attention on the well-being of others is the only cure for self-centeredness.

Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you. Isocrates (436–338 b.c.)

Don’t fly into a rage unless you are prepared for a rough landing.

^[1] Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), 1 Co 13:5.

^[2] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), 1 Pe 2:20–23.

Love is not easily provoked (paroxunetai): not easily angered; not ready to take offence; not quick tempered; not “touchy.”  It is not easily aroused to anger; does not become “exasperated.”  Love controls the emotions, and never becomes angry without a cause (Romans 12:18).

The word for “easily angered” could also be translated “touchy,” “irritable,” or “sensitive to slights.” Such people let things get on their nerves. One believer, in the process of exercising his or her gifts, may irritate another believer. These “easily angered” believers may not like the style or manner in which these others exercise their gifts. Or they may get easily angered at anyone who crosses them. This is not the way of love. When believers exercise their gifts in love, they will be able to give one another some latitude to follow God as they see fit. They will not let themselves be easily provoked over disagreements, but they will be able to always respond in a loving manner. This does not mean that anger is wrong, for anger can be a motivating factor when directed against wrongs or injustices. People who are “easily angered,” however, are usually upset about personal affronts or minor issues. This stifles their service for God and the use of their gifts.

IRRITABILITY

Paul says that true love isn’t easily angered. Sometimes we’re irritated or angered by others, and we don’t know why. Not all irritability stems from sinful or selfish motives, although the irritable treatment of others surely is wrong. Much irritability comes from a love of perfection, a deep desire that programs, meetings, and structures be run perfectly. A desire to run things perfectly can erupt into anger at events or people who get in the way or ruin that desire. Those who are easily irritated need to remember that perfection exists only in God. We need to love him and our fellow Christians, not the visions we have for perfection here on earth.

The real meaning of this is that Christian love never becomes exasperated with people.  Exasperation is always a sign of defeat.  When we lose our tempers, we lose everything.  Kipling said that it was the test of a man if he could keep his head when everyone else was losing his and blaming it on him, and if when he was hated he did not give way to hating.  The man who is master of his temper can be master of anything.

The Greek here translated provoked, means to arouse to anger and is the origin of the English paroxysm, a convulsion or sudden outburst of emotion or action. Love guards against being irritated, upset, or angered by things said or done against it. It is not provoked.

The apostle does not rule out righteous indignation. Love cannot “rejoice in unrighteousness” (1 Cor. 13:6). To be angered by the mistreatment of the unfortunate or by the maligning and contradiction of God’s Word is righteous indignation. But when it is truly righteous, indignation will never be provoked by something done against us personally. When Jesus cleansed the Temple, He was angered at the profaning of His Father’s house of worship (Matt. 21:11-12). But on the many occasions when He was personally vilified or abused, He did not once become angry or defensive.

Like his Lord, Paul was only angered by the things that anger God. He responded strongly against such things as heresy, immorality, and misuse of spiritual gifts. But he did not become angry at those who beat him, jailed him, or lied about him (see Acts 23:1-5).

The being provoked that Paul is talking about here has to do with things done against us or that are personally offensive. Love does not get angry at others when they say or do something that displeases us or when they prevent us from having our own way (cf. 1 Pet. 2:21-24). Love never reacts in self-defense or retaliation. Being provoked is the other side of seeking one’s own way. The person who is intent on having his own way is easily provoked, easily angered.

This Greek term, rendered “provoked” in the NASB, is used in Hosea 8:5 and Zechariah 10:3 to depict provocation to anger. The term is by no means used only with a negative connotation. In Acts 17:16, it describes how Paul’s spirit is so provoked within him that he begins to preach to the idol-worshiping inhabitants of Athens. In Hebrews 10:24, the writer urges the saints to “stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” Here in 1 Corinthians, Paul uses the term to describe a short-fused person who is easily and quickly provoked to take action which is not edifying to either party. Love does not “blow its cork,” “lose its cool,” or “blow a fuse.” Love does not have a chip on its shoulder, looking for some tiny straw of offense so it can ventilate all its anger and hostility.

The Corinthians are obviously provoked in a number of areas. Some are provoked enough to take their brethren to court (chapter 6). Others seem provoked to divorce their mates (chapter 7). Still others are provoked to go on ahead with the Lord’s Supper without waiting for all to arrive (chapter 11).

Often today, Christians are provoked by minor offenses and leave the church or take some form of retaliatory action. Some are provoked by their mates and act in a destructive way to their marriage. Parents may be provoked by their children or children by their parents (see Ephesians 6:4). There are all too many abusive parents or mates, whose explosive anger cannot be predicted or avoided but only dreaded.

Having warned of being very careful about becoming too quickly provoked, I must add that some saints really need to get upset about what they see. In the supermarket, and even in the church, I see children throwing temper tantrums while their parents look on helplessly as though they can do nothing. There is something they can do, and if they cannot remember what it is, I suggest they read the Book of Proverbs.

We ought to be angered at sin, but in our anger, we should act appropriately and not explosively (see Ephesians 4:26).

There is a time for righteous indignation, but let us be certain it is truly righteous wrath and not just human anger with a pious label:

19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).

13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace (James 3:13-18).

We get angry when another person gains a privilege or recognition we want for ourselves, because it is our “right.” But to put our rights before our duty and before loving concern for others comes from self-centeredness and lovelessness. The loving person is more concerned about doing what he should and helping where he can than in having what he thinks are his rights and his due. Love considers nothing its right and everything its obligation.

Telling our wives or husbands that we love them is not convincing if we continually get upset and angry at what they say and do. Telling our children that we love them is not convincing if we often yell at them for doing things that irritate us and interfere with our own plans. It does no good to protest, “I lose my
temper a lot, but it’s all over in a few minutes.” So is a nuclear bomb. A great deal of damage can be done in a very short time. Temper is always destructive, and even small temper “bombs” can leave much hurt and damage, especially when they explode on a regular basis. Lovelessness is the cause of temper, and
love is the only cure.

Love that takes a person outside of himself and centers his attention on the well-being of others is the only cure for self-centeredness.

A glance at the two brothers would raise no suspicion. To see them exit the worship service would give you no cause for concern. Like any other set of siblings, they had their differences. One more like Mom, the other more like Dad. One with a bent toward livestock, the other interested in farming. Beyond that, they seemed alike. Compatible. Raised in the same culture. Romped in the same hills. Played with the same animals. Spoke with the same accent. Worshiped the same God.

Then why did one kill the other? Why the violent assault? What made one brother turn on the other and spill his blood? Why did Cain kill Abel?

To answer that question is to shed light on a larger one. Looming behind the question of murder is the question of anger. For “Cain was very angry” ( Gen. 4:5 nkjv ). Angry indeed. Angry enough to kill. What made him so mad?

Anger in and of itself is not a sin. The emotion was God’s idea. “Be angry,” he urges, “and do not sin” ( Eph. 4:26 nkjv ). It’s possible to feel what Cain felt without doing what Cain did. Anger is not a sin, but it can lead to sin. Perhaps your anger doesn’t lead you to shed blood, but does it make you touchy, irritable, quick-tempered, quick to take offense? Do you fly off the handle? Those aren’t my terms. They are Paul’s. According to the apostle, love is not:

“touchy” ( tlb ),

“irritable” ( nlt ),

“quick tempered” ( cev ),

“quick to take offence” ( neb ),

“easily angered” ( niv ),

and love “doesn’t fly off the handle” ( msg ).

Cain was all of these and more. But why? Why the short fuse? Again the text gives an answer. “The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. So Cain became very angry and felt rejected ” ( Gen. 4:4–5 , emphasis mine).

Interesting. This is the first appearance of Anger in the Bible. He’ll pop up some four hundred more times between here and the maps in the back, but this is the first occasion. He pulls up to the curb and gets out of the  car, and look who is in the front seat with him—Rejection. Anger and Rejection in the same sentence.

This isn’t the only time the couple are spotted in Scripture. Anger singes many pages. And more than once Rejection is charged with arson.

The sons of Jacob were rejected by their father. He pampered Joseph and neglected them. The result? The brothers were angry. Joseph’s “brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms” ( Gen. 37:4 nasb ).

Saul was rejected by his people. In choosing heroes, they chose the fair-haired David over the appointed king. The result? Saul was ticked off. “The women sang as they played, and said, ‘Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.’ Then Saul became very angry” ( 1 Sam. 18:7–8 nasb ).

David’s work was rejected by God. His plan to move the ark of the covenant by cart didn’t please the Father. And when Uzzah touched what he shouldn’t have touched, “God smote him … and he died” ( 2 Sam. 6:7 rsv ). Before David was afraid, he fumed. “David became angry because of the Lord ’s outburst against Uzzah” ( 2 Sam. 6:8 nasb).

And Jonah. The fellow had a whale of a problem with anger. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) He didn’t feel the Ninevites were worthy of mercy, but God did. By forgiving them, God rejected Jonah’s opinion. And how did the rejection make Jonah feel? “It greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry” ( Jon. 4:1 nasb).

I don’t want to oversimplify a complex emotion. Anger has many causes: impatience, unmet expectations, stress, referees who couldn’t see a pass-interference call if you painted it on their garage door—oops, sorry, a flashback to a high-school football game. The fire of anger has many logs, but according to biblical accounts, the thickest and the hottest block of wood is rejection.

Why do we often get so angry? What stirs our frustration? In the great scheme of things, no single event should bother us. Perhaps it can be narrowed it down to one word. Rejection. Maybe the salesperson had rejected us…we had not received any attention. It could also be taken that she didn’t accept us.

Multiply that emotion by a zillion to understand the anger of an abandoned teen or a divorced spouse. I didn’t even know the lady, and I was angry. What happens when you feel the same from your boss, friend, or teacher?

You hurt. And because you get hurt, you get hot. Tacky-toned, cold-shouldered, name-calling, door-slamming, get-my-pound-of-flesh sort of hot. Anger is your defense mechanism.

Envision a teenager receiving a lecture. His dad is going down the list: poor grades, missed curfews, messy room. Each accusation is like a shove in the boy’s chest. Back and back and back until he perceives a Grand Canyon between his father and him. His initial response is silence and shame. Lower and lower he bows. But somewhere a line is crossed, and an innate survival technique kicks in, and he lashes back, “I’ve had it!” And he stands and storms out.

Consider the wife of the insensitive husband. Every other woman in her office received a card or flowers for Valentine’s Day. She kept thinking a delivery boy would stop at her desk, but none ever did. She drives home thinking, Surely there will be something on the table. The table is empty. The phone rings. It’s him. He’ll be late for dinner. No word about Valentine’s Day. He forgot. How could he forget? When this happened last year, she was sad. When he did something similar at Christmas, she was hurt. But when he forgot their anniversary, she started to harden. And now this? Her tears are hot. Rejection leads to anger.

And if rejection from people makes us angry, what about when we feel rejected by God? Case study #1? Cain.

The account is sketchy and not without gaps, but we are told enough to re-create the crime scene. Cain and Abel went to worship, perhaps at the same time. They each brought an offering. How did they know to do so? God had told them. Hebrews 11:4 says, “It was by faith that Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did.” From where does one get faith? “Faith comes by hearing” ( Rom. 10:17 nkjv ). Cain and Abel had heard God’s instructions. And when Abel brought the best parts of a firstborn from his flock, he did so out of obedience to what he had heard.

And when Cain brought “some food” from the ground, he was acting out of disobedience. Surely he had heard what Abel had heard. Would God hold him accountable otherwise? He knew what Abel knew. He knew that forgiveness of sin came through the shedding of blood ( Heb. 9:22 ). But still he was angry that God returned his sacrifice unopened. God cautioned him to be careful.

God asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why do you look so unhappy? If you do things well, I will accept you, but if you do not do them well, sin is ready to attack you. Sin wants you, but you must rule over it.” At this point in the story, Cain had not sinned. A dose of humility and he would have been fine. But Cain had other plans.

“Cain said to his brother Abel, ‘Let’s go out into the field.’ While they were out in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him” ( Gen. 4:3–8 ).

Cain gave up. He gave up on God. He gave up on his ability to please him. And he took it out on Abel. Cain would have related to the frustration of the struggling missionary who wrote:

God’s demands of me were so high, and His opinion of me was so low, there was no way for me to live except under His frown.… All day long He nagged me: “Why don’t you pray more? Why don’t you witness more? When will you ever learn self-discipline? How can you allow yourself to indulge in such wicked thoughts? Do this. Don’t do that.” … When I came down to it, there was scarcely a word or a feeling or a thought or a decision of mine that God really liked. ^[1]1

Many have written letters like that. If not with pen and paper, at least with thoughts. Cain would have penned: “I can’t satisfy him. I work in the field and bring my crops. I give him my best, and it’s not enough.”

Others would write:

“Why won’t God hear our prayers! We go to church, we pay our bills, but still the crib is empty.”

“Why won’t God give me a job? I’ve done nothing wrong. People who curse him have jobs. I’ve served him all these years and can’t even get an interview.”

“What do I have to do to be forgiven? Do I have to spend the rest of my life paying for one mistake?”

Such thoughts will heat your collar. Stoke your anger. Make you snap at those shallow minds like Abel who do half the work but get all the blessings—

Stop for a second. Did you just make a discovery? Did a light go on? Have you for the first time found the headwaters of your anger? Can your bitterness be traced upstream to a feeling of divine rejection? If so (I’m glad to tell you this), in finding the cause you have also found the cure.

When I really want a person to listen to me, I scoot my chair a couple of inches in their direction and lower my voice. If you and I were having a chat about your anger, this is where I’d start scooting, and I’d say the next sentence so softly you’d have to lean forward to hear. So incline a tad and listen to this thought.

If rejection causes anger, wouldn’t acceptance cure it? If rejection by heaven makes you mad at others, wouldn’t acceptance from heaven stir your love for them? This is the 7:47 Principle. Remember the verse? “He who is forgiven little loves little.” We can replace the word forgiven with accepted and maintain the integrity of the passage. “He who is accepted little loves little.” If we think God is harsh and unfair, guess how we’ll treat people. Harshly and unfairly. But if we discover that God has doused us with unconditional love, would that make a difference?

The apostle Paul would say so! Talk about a turnaround. He went from bully to teddy bear. Paul b.c . (Before Christ) sizzled with anger. He “made havoc of the church” ( Acts 8:3 nkjv ). Paul a.d. (After Discovery) brimmed with love. Could a raving maniac write these words?

To the Corinthians: “I always thank my God for you” ( 1 Cor. 1:4 ).

To the Philippians: “I have you in my heart.… I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus” ( Phil. 1:7–8 niv ).

To the Ephesians: “I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers” ( Eph. 1:16 niv ).

To the Colossians: “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you” ( Col. 1:3 niv ).

To the Thessalonians: “We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children” ( 1 Thess. 2:7 niv ).

His heart was a universe of love. But what about his enemies? It’s one thing to love your coworkers, but did Paul love those who challenged him? “I would be willing to be forever cursed—cut off from Christ!—if that would save them” ( Rom. 9:1–3 nlt ). On every occasion that he had to enter their synagogues and teach, he did so ( Acts 13:4–5 ; 14:1 ; 17:1–2 , 10 ). His accusers beat him, stoned him, jailed him, mocked him. But can you find one occasion where he responded in kind? One temper tantrum? One angry outburst? This is a different man. His anger is gone. His passion is strong. His devotion is unquestioned. But rash outbursts of anger? A thing of the past.

What made the difference? He encountered Christ. Or, to use his phrase, he was hidden in Christ: “Your life is now hidden with Christ in God” ( Col. 3:3 niv ).

The Chinese language has a great symbol for this truth. The word for righteousness is a combination of two pictures. On the top is a lamb. Beneath the lamb is a person. The lamb covers the person. ^[2]2 Isn’t that the essence of righteousness? The Lamb of Christ over the child of God? Whenever the Father looks down on you, what does he see? He sees his Son, the perfect Lamb of God, hiding you. Christians are like their ancestor Abel. We come to God by virtue of the flock. Cain came with the work of his own hands. God turned him away. Abel came, and we come, dependent upon the sacrifice of the Lamb, and we are accepted. Like the Chinese symbol, we are covered by the lamb, hidden in Christ.

When God looks at you, he doesn’t see you; he sees Jesus. And how does he respond when he sees Jesus? He rends the heavens and vibrates the earth with the shout, “You are my Son, whom I love, and I am very pleased with you” ( Mark 1:11 ).

The missionary was wrong. We don’t live under the frown of God. We stir an ear-to-ear smile of joy. “He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” ( Zeph. 3:17 nkjv ).

Through Christ, God has accepted you. Think about what this means. I’m scooting forward and talking softly again: You cannot keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you.

Rejections are like speed bumps on the road. They come with the journey. Tacky purse peddlers populate the world. You’re going to get cut, dished, dropped, and kicked around. You cannot keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you. How? By letting his acceptance compensate for their rejection.

Think of it this way. Suppose you dwell in a high-rise apartment. On the window sill of your room is a solitary daisy. This morning you picked the daisy and pinned it on your lapel. Since you have only one plant, this is a big event and a special daisy.

But as soon as you’re out the door, people start picking petals off your daisy. Someone snags your subway seat. Petal picked. You’re blamed for the bad report of a coworker. Three petals. The promotion is given to someone with less experience but USC water polo looks. More petals. By the end of the day, you’re down to one. Woe be to the soul who dares to draw near it. You’re only one petal-snatching away from a blowup.

What if the scenario was altered slightly? Let’s add one character. The kind man in the apartment next door runs a flower shop on the corner. Every night on the way home he stops at your place with a fresh, undeserved, yet irresistible bouquet. These are not leftover flowers. They are top-of-the-line arrangements. You don’t know why he thinks so highly of you, but you aren’t complaining. Because of him, your apartment has a sweet fragrance, and your step has a happy bounce. Let someone mess with your flower, and you’ve got a basketful to replace it!

The difference is huge. And the interpretation is obvious.

God will load your world with flowers. He hand-delivers a bouquet to your door every day. Open it! Take them! Then, when rejections come, you won’t be left short-petaled.

God can help you get rid of your anger. He made galaxies no one has ever seen and dug canyons we have yet to find. “The Lord … heals all your diseases” ( Ps. 103:2–3 niv ). Do you think among those diseases might be the affliction of anger?

Do you think God could heal your angry heart?

Do you want him to? This is not a trick question. He asks the same question of you that he asked of the invalid: “Do you want to be well?” ( John 5:6 ). Not everyone does. You may be addicted to anger. You may be a rage junkie. Anger may be part of your identity. But if you want him to, he can change your identity. Do you want him to do so?

Do you have a better option? Like moving to a rejection-free zone? If so, enjoy your life on your desert island.

Take the flowers. Receive from him so you can love or at least put up with others. ^[3]

ANGER

A man who can’t control his temper is like a city without defenses. Jewish Proverb

An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. Cato the Elder (234–149 b.c.)

Anger can be an expensive luxury. Italian Proverb

Anger is a weed; hate is the tree. Saint Augustine of Hippo (354–430)

Anger is quieted by a gentle word just as fire is quenched by water. Jean Pierre Camus (1584–1652)

Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. Aristotle (384–322 b.c.)

Arrows pierce the body, but harsh words pierce the soul. Spanish Proverb

Control yourself! Anger is only one letter short of danger.

Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you. Isocrates (436–338 b.c.)

Don’t fly into a rage unless you are prepared for a rough landing.

Don’t get angry at the person who acts in ways that displease you. Give him the smile he lacks. Spread the sunshine of your Lord’s limitless love. Joni Eareckson Tada

[1]1 Dwight Edwards, Revolution Within (Colorado Springs, Colo.: WaterBrook Press, 2001), 57–58.

[2]2 Ibid., 58.

[3]Lucado, M. 2002. A love worth giving : Living in the overflow of God’s love. W Pub. Group: Nashville, Tenn.

Love seeks not her own: is not selfish; does not insist upon its own rights. Love is not focused upon who one is nor upon what one has done. Love seeks to serve, not have others serving oneself. Love is acknowledging others, not insisting that others acknowledge oneself; it is giving to others, not insisting that others give to oneself.

“It is easy to tell the size of a man by the size of what it takes to upset him.” A small person gets upset over anything and everything. We need to be bigger people than that. We should overlook small problems and save our energy for the big ones!

People who are self-seeking always want their own way. They are selfish, self-centered, wanting what they think is best for them. This is the opposite of love. Love (agape) looks out for others, seeks their best interests, willingly gives up its own for the sake of another. A self-seeking person may use his or her gifts but not with a serving attitude or a desire to build the kingdom. Instead, the gifts are only used if they can somehow benefit the self-seeking person. This is not God’s way. Instead, because of love, the believers use their gifts to benefit others first, without “self” or selfish desires getting in the way.

In the last analysis, there are in this world only two kinds of people-those who always insist upon their privileges and those who always remember their responsibilities; those who are always thinking of what life owes them and those who never forget what they owe to life.  It would be the key to almost all the problems which surround us today if men would think less of their rights and more of their duties.  Whenever we start thinking about “our place”, we are drifting away from Christian love.

I understand that the inscription on a tombstone in a small English village reads, Here lies a miser who lived for himself, and cared for nothing but gathering wealth. Now where he is or how he fares, nobody knows and nobody cares.

In contrast, a plain tombstone in the courtyard at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London reads, “Sacred to the memory of General Charles George Gordon, who at all times and everywhere gave his strength to the weak, his substance to the poor, his sympathy to the suffering, his heart to God.”

Love does not seek its own. Here is probably the key to everything. The root evil of fallen human flesh is in wanting to have its own way.

Lenski said, “Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.” Adam and Eve rejected God’s way so that they could have their own. Self replaced God. That is the opposite of righteousness and the opposite of love. Love is not preoccupied with its own things but with the interests of others.

Again, the Corinthian believers were models of what loving Christians should not be. They were selfish in the extreme. They did not share their food at love feasts, they protected their rights to the point of suing fellow believers in pagan law courts, and they wanted what they thought were the “best” spiritual gifts for themselves. Instead of using spiritual gifts for the benefit of others, they tried to use them to their own advantage.

Paul therefore tells them, “Since you are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek to abound for the edification of the church” (14:12). They did not use their gifts to build up the church but to try to build up themselves.

The Corinthians are completely self-absorbed. They measure themselves by their gifts and ministries and do not think of themselves as a part of the body of Christ. They have marvelous “self-esteem,” but they disdain Paul and the other apostles (see chapter 4). They are so self-centered they are willing to demand the freedom to practice their alleged liberties, even if it destroys a weaker brother (chapter 8). They assert themselves in the church meeting with little or no regard for others and for edification.

The church of our day is hardly different. The word “self” is found often on the lips of professing Christians. Love is a matter of prioritizing. I am to love God above any and all others; He has first priority. I am to love my wife above all mankind, just as Christ has set His love on His church. I am to love my neighbor and even my enemy. That is, I am to put the interests of others above my own (see Philippians 2:1-8). If I love myself first, I cannot love my neighbor, because loving my neighbor means putting him first. I am to love my neighbor as myself; that is, I am to love my neighbor in the same ways I find it natural to love myself (see Ephesians 5:28-30).

Some Christians see self-love for what it is, but there are other forms of self-absorption, and some people are self-centered in other ways. Some put themselves first by continually leveling blame or guilt toward themselves, rather than accepting and appropriating God’s forgiving grace. Others wallow in the mired waters of self-pity, constantly meditating on the ways others have abused them. Any preoccupation with self is self-centered and contrary to the way of love. Let us not forget that ours is the way of the cross; the Christian life is about dying daily and the mortification of the flesh. Too many Christians try to coddle that which needs to be crucified.

There is a malady that makes the Black Plague appear as mild as the common cold.  Tally the death tolls of all infections, fevers, and epidemics since the beginning of time, and you’ll still fall short of the number claimed by this single infirmity.

And, forgive me for being the one to tell you, but you are infected. You suffer from it. You are a victim—a diseased carrier. You have shown the symptoms and manifested the signs. You have a case of—brace yourself—selfishness.

Don’t believe me?  Suppose you are in a group photo. The first time you see the picture, where do you look? And if you look good, do you like the picture? If you are the only one who looks good, do you still like the picture? If some are cross-eyed and others have spinach in their teeth, do you still like the picture? If that makes you like it even more, you’ve got a bad case.

What about the physical manifestations?

Clutching hands. Do your fingers ever wrap and close around possessions?

Protruding teeth. Do fangs ever flare when you are interrupted or irritated?

Heavy feet. When a neighboring car wants to cut in front of you, do you sense a sudden heaviness of foot on the accelerator?

Extended shoulder. Any inflammation from patting yourself on the back?

And your neck. Is it sore from keeping your nose in the air?

But most of all, look into your eyes. Look long into your pupils. Do you see a tiny figure? An image of a person? An image of you?

The self-centered see everything through self. Their motto? “It’s all about me!” The flight schedule. The traffic. The dress styles. The worship styles. The weather, the work, whether or not one works—everything is filtered through the mini-me in the eye. Selfishness.

Such a condition can be fatal.

Listen to the words of James. “Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things” ( James 3:16 cev ).

Need proof? Let’s examine one newspaper. Today’s edition. How many examples of selfishness will we find in the first few pages?

Selfishness is to society what the Exxon Valdez was to scallops and sea otters—deadly. Is it any wonder that Paul writes: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” ( Phil. 2:3–4 nasb)?

At first glance the standard in the passage seems impossible to meet. Nothing? We shouldn’t do anything for ourselves? No new dress or suit. What about going to school or saving money—couldn’t all of these things be considered selfish?

They could, unless we are careful to understand what Paul is saying. The word the apostle uses for selfishness shares a root form with the words strife and contentious. It suggests a self-preoccupation that hurts others. A divisive arrogance. In fact, first-century writers used the word to describe a politician who procured office by illegal manipulation or a harlot who seduced the client, demeaning both herself and him. ^[1]1 Selfishness is an obsession with self that excludes others, hurting everyone.

Looking after your personal interests is proper life management. Doing so to the exclusion of the rest of the world is selfishness. The adverb highlighted in verse 4 is helpful. “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Desire success? Fine. Just don’t hurt others in achieving it. Wish to look nice? That’s okay. Just don’t do so by making others look bad. Love isn’t selfish.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. ( Phil. 2:3–4 nasb)

Remember the passage that describes the Word of God as a sword? I was impaled. As a doctor pronounces a disease, so the passage declared mine. Selfishness. Because of the little me in my eyes, I couldn’t see my blessings.

Love builds up relationships; selfishness erodes relationships. No wonder Paul is so urgent in his appeal: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit” ( Phil. 2:3 nasb ).

But aren’t we born selfish? And if so, can we do anything about it? Can we get our eyes off of self? Or, better asked, can we get the little self out of our eyes? According to Scripture, we can.

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind. ( Phil. 2:1–2 nasb )

Paul’s sarcasm is thinly veiled. Is there any encouragement? Any consolation? Any fellowship? Then smile!

What’s the cure for selfishness? Get your self out of your eye by getting your eye off your self. Quit staring at that little self, and focus on your great Savior.

If Christ becomes our focus, we won’t be like the physician in Arkansas. He misdiagnosed the patient. He declared the woman to be dead. The family was informed, and the husband was grief-stricken. Imagine the surprise of the nurse when she discovered that the woman was alive! “You better tell the family,” she urged the doctor.

The embarrassed physician phoned the husband and said, “I need to talk to you about the condition of your wife.”  “The condition of my wife?” he asked. “She’s dead.” The doctor’s pride only allowed him to concede, “Well, she has seen a slight improvement.”

Slight improvement? Talk about an understatement! Lazarus is walking out of the tomb, and he calls that a “slight improvement”?

He was so concerned about his image that he missed an opportunity to celebrate. We laugh, but don’t we do the same? We’ve gone from cremation to celebration. We deserve a lava bath, but we’ve been given a pool of grace.

Yet to look at our faces you’d think our circumstances had made only a “slight improvement.” “How’s life?” someone asks. And we who’ve been resurrected from the dead say, “Well, things could be better.” Or “Couldn’t get a parking place.” Or “My parents won’t let me move to Hawaii.” Or “People won’t leave me alone so I can finish my sermon on selfishness.”

Honestly. We worry about acid rain in silver linings. Do you think Paul might like to have a word with us? Are you so focused on what you don’t have that you are blind to what you do? Have you received any encouragement? Any fellowship? Any consolation? Then don’t you have reason for joy?

Come. Come thirsty. Drink deeply from God’s goodness. You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take,

an eternal home no divorce can break.Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea. Every mistake you’ve made is nailed to the tree.You’re blood-bought and heaven-made.A child of God—forever saved.

So be grateful, joyful—for isn’t it true?What you don’t have is much less than what you do.^[2]

The story is told of a chauffeur who drove up to a cemetery and asked the minister who served as caretaker to come to the car, because his employer was too ill to walk. Waiting in the car was a frail old lady with sunken eyes that showed years of hurt and anguish. She introduced herself and said she had been sending five dollars to the cemetery for the past several years to be used for flowers for her husband’s grave. “I have come in person today,” she said, “because the doctors have given me only a few weeks to live and I wanted to see the grave for one last time.”

The minister replied, “You know I am sorry you have been sending money for those flowers.” Taken aback, she said, “What do you mean?” “Well, I happen to be a part of a visiting society that visits patients in hospitals and mental institutions. They dearly love flowers. They can see them and smell them. Flowers are therapy for them, because they are living people.”

Saying nothing, she motioned the chauffeur to leave. Some months later the minister was surprised to see the same car drive up, but with the woman herself at the wheel. She said, “At first I resented what you said to me that day when I came here for a last visit. But as I thought about it, I decided you were right. Now I personally take flowers to the hospitals. It does make the patients happy and it makes me happy, too. The doctors can’t figure out what made me well, but I know I now have someone else to live for.”

As always, Jesus is our perfect model. He “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). The Son of God lived His life for others. God incarnate was love incarnate. He was the perfect incarnation of self-giving love. He never sought His own welfare, but always the welfare of others.

SELFISHNESS

Affluent society” is a euphemism, in the context of our poverty-stricken and starvation-ridden world, for selfishness. John Fowles (1926– )

\Christ regarded the self-loving, self-regarding, self-seeking spirit as the direct antithesis of real living. His two fundamental rules for life were that “love-energy,” instead of being turned in on itself, should go out first to God and then to other people. J. B. Phillips (1906–1982)

Glory built on selfish principles is shame and guilt. William Cowper (1731–1800)

He is a slave of the greatest slave who serves nothing but himself.

He who lives only for himself is truly dead to others. Publilius Syrus (First Century b.c.)

I doubt that there has ever been one recorded case of deep and lasting fulfillment reported by a person whose basic mind-set and only question was: What am I getting out of this? John Powell

If I really love God, my innate and persistent selfishness will have received its death-blow. Alexander Smellie

If you wish to be miserable, think much about yourself; about what you want, what you like, what respect people ought to pay you, and what people think of you. Charles Kingsley (1819–1875)

People who are self-centered always live in unpleasant surroundings.

Selfishness is never so exquisitely selfish as when it is on its knees. Self can turn what would otherwise be a pure and powerful prayer into a weak and ineffective one. I may cry loudly to God that the church be restored to her New Testament splendor, and be secretly dreaming that I may be the one to lead her. A. W. Tozer (1897–1963)

Selfishness turns life into a burden. Unselfishness turns burdens into life! Robert Harold Schuller (1926– )

Some people are for seeing God with their eyes, as they can see a cow (which they love for the milk, and for the cheese, and for their own profit.) Thus do all those who love God for the sake of outward riches or of inward comfort; they do not love aright, but seek only themselves and their own advantage. Meister Eckhart (c. 1260–c. 1327)

That man who lives for self alone Lives for the meanest mortal known. Joaquin Miller (1837–1913)

There is no room for God in the man who is full of himself. Jewish Proverb

[1]1 Gerhard Kittel and Gerhard Friedrich, eds., Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, trans. Geoffrey W. Bromiley (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1971), 2:660.

[2]Lucado, M. 2002. A love worth giving : Living in the overflow of God’s love. W Pub. Group: Nashville, Tenn.

Love does not behave itself unseemly (aschemonei): unbecomingly, rudely, indecently, unmannerly, disgracefully. Love does nothing to shame oneself. Love is orderly and controlled; and it behaves and treats all persons with respect, honoring and respecting who they are.

The word translated “is rude” (aschemonei) refers to actions that are improper. Also translated as “love does not behave in an unseemly way,” this means that love does not behave impolitely, discourteously, or crudely. Believers who use their gifts with love will be careful to act in a manner worthy of their calling before God. They will never humiliate others. This may also have been a problem in Corinth, especially in their worship services (see 11:2–16).

It is a significant fact that in Greek the words for grace and for charm are the same.  There is a kind of Christianity which takes a delight in being blunt and almost brutal.  There is strength in it but there is no winsomeness.

Lightfoot of Durham said of Arthur F. Sim, one of his students, “Let him go where he will, his face will be a sermon in itself.”

There is a graciousness in Christian love which never forgets that courtesy and tact and politeness are lovely things.

I went to Louisiana recently to visit some of the finest grandchildren one could ever meet (I admit to being very prejudiced toward my own!). I watched a man in the airport really make a fool of himself. You know the picture…loud…over-bearing…no concern for others, especially the helpful airlines people.

The Bible has a four-letter word for such behavior: rude. When defining what love is not, Paul put rudeness on the list. “It is not rude” ( 1 Cor. 13:5 niv ). The Greek word for rude means shameful or disgraceful behavior.

(1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV)  It is not rude….

(1 Corinthians 13:5 NNAS)  does not act unbecomingly …

The principle here has to do with poor manners, with acting rudely. It is not as serious a fault as bragging or arrogance, but it stems from the same lovelessness. It does not care enough for those it is around to act becomingly or politely. It cares nothing for their feelings or sensitivities. The loveless person is careless, overbearing, and often crude.

The Corinthian Christians were models of unbecoming behavior. Acting unseemly was almost their trademark. Nearly everything they did was rude and unloving. Even when they came together to celebrate the Lord’s Supper they were self-centered and offensive. “Each one takes his own supper first; and one is hungry and another is drunk” (1 Cor. 11:21). During worship services each one tried to outdo the other in speaking in tongues. Everyone talked at once and tried to be the most dramatic and prominent. The church did everything improperly and in disorder, the opposite of what Paul had taught them and now advised them against (14:40).

God calls us to a higher, more noble concern. Not “What are my rights?” but “What is loving?”

• Do you have the right to dominate a conversation? Yes, but is it loving to do so?
• Do you have the right to pretend you don’t hear your wife speaking? I suppose so. But is it loving?
• Is it within your rights to bark at the clerk or snap at the kids? Yes. But is it loving to act this way?

William Barclay translates our text as, “Love does not behave gracelessly.” Love is gracious. Graciousness should begin with fellow believers, but it should not end there. Many Christians have forfeited the opportunity for witnessing by rudeness to an unbeliever who offends them by a habit the Christian considers improper. As with Simon, sometimes our attitude and behavior in the name of righteousness are more improper, and less righteous, than some of the things we criticize.

Love is much more than being gracious and considerate, but it is never less. To the extent that our living is ungracious and inconsiderate it is also unloving and unchristian. Self-righteous rudeness by Christians can turn people away from Christ before they have a chance to hear the gospel. The messenger can become a barrier to the message. If people do not see the “gentleness of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:1) clearly in us, they are less likely to see Him clearly in the gospel we preach.

Parenting today seems to operate on just the opposite premise as that set down here by the apostle Paul. Many parents seem to think that in order to be loving parents they must tolerate bad behavior from their children rather than insist on good behavior. Children throw screaming fits, and parents helplessly shrug their shoulders, as though they were powerless to change things and as though they have forgotten what Proverbs says about disciplining a child. Wives and husbands seem to think that if their mate really loves them, they will put up with their bad behavior. Paul turns the tables. He informs us that love requires us not to behave badly.

I cannot go on without pointing out some ways Christians behave badly, all in the name of “spirituality.” Often “spiritual considerations” become our “lion in the road,” not only excusing bad behavior, but, in our minds, demanding it.¹⁸¹ One way is found in evangelism. Many of us use the gospel as an excuse to be pushy or overly aggressive with others. We confront, buttonhole, badger and bully others, all in the name of soul-winning. Who can fault the faithful “soul-winner”? But Jesus never intruded, never forced Himself upon an unwilling, uninterested victim. Soul-winning is no excuse for running over people rough shod so we can put another notch on our evangelistic gun: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6).

Maintaining an attitude of love

As the husband looks in the jewelry case, he rationalizes, “Sure she would want the watch, but it’s too expensive.

She’s a practical woman, she’ll understand. I’ll just get the bracelet today. I’ll buy the watch … someday.”

Someday. The enemy of risky love is a snake whose tongue has mastered the talk of deception. “Someday,” he hisses.

“Someday, I can take her on the cruise.”

“Someday, I will have time to call and chat.”

“Someday, the children will understand why I was so busy.”

But you know the truth, don’t you? You know even before I write it. You could say it better than I.

Somedays never come.

And the price of practicality is sometimes higher than extravagance.

But the rewards of risky love are always greater than its cost.

Go to the effort. Invest the time. Write the letter. Make the apology. Take the trip. Purchase the gift. Do it. The seized opportunity renders joy. The neglected brings regret. (From And the Angels Were Silent by Max Lucado)

 

Introduction

Another aspect of the dark backdrop that puts love brightly in the foreground is pride. Thus, Paul says, “love …does not boast; it is not arrogant or rude” (1 Cor. 13:4-5). This is perhaps one of the most important considerations in living a life of love that has abiding value and true meaning. It is the key to becoming a Christian and receiving the sure promise of the glories of heaven. The Christian life begins with the eyes facing downward and the lips saying, “God, have mercy on me a sinner” (Lk. 18:13). Like the prodigal we will claim only unworthiness before the Lord: “I am not worthy to be called your son” (Lk. 15:21). Those who are poor in spirit are the ones who have the riches of forgiveness and peace with God (Matt. 5:3).

In the Christian life, it is radically important that we carefully weigh the danger of a proud spirit because this is something greatly opposed by the Lord. The Lord arrays Himself in battle gear against the proud! He resists the proud (Jam. 4:6). I realize that Romans 8:28 is in the Bible (that is, that God works all things for good in the lives of His people). But I do not want good to come to me by the Lord arming Himself in battle array against me. That tells me that I will find the good but it is going to be through a lot of unnecessary pain. When I am lying on the battlefield with my enemies trampling all over me, I may then recognize that the one who knocked me down is the Lord. This is one warning you do not want to miss as we are cautioned against a proud spirit as backdrop in the pursuit of love.

Therefore, my topic for today is the call to humble love that is found in Paul’s three-fold description of pride. I have two points: the description of pride and the exhortation to humble love.

1A. Paul’s three-fold description of pride

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Paul mentions three things that love is not: it is not boastful, it is not arrogant, and it is not rude. If we think of these three things as dots on a canvass and we draw lines that connect them, then the picture that emerges is a sketch of pride. This sketch will enable us to put humble love into bold relief.

Love is not arrogant. Arrogance refers to pride as something deep within the inner man of the heart. It is distinctively a way of thinking about yourself. This stress of thinking is strikingly evident in Romans 12:3 where Paul refers to thinking four times in the same verse. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought” is literally, “do not think more highly of yourself than you ought to think, but think so as to think soberly.” He is warning about pride. We are not to think a certain way regarding ourselves. Namely, we are not to have too high a view of ourselves. Pride is first a matter of attitude and thought. It is a view of one’s self. But it does show up in a corresponding manner of life.

This is a self-knowledge issue. As it has been put, self-knowledge is like a window to correct knowledge of the world. If self-knowledge is blocked then a true knowledge of the world is blocked. Thus pride is a mindset in which we do not see ourselves in proper perspective: we have too elevated of a view of self.

Love does not boast. Contrasted with envy, boasting looks at what we have whereas envy looks at what others have and we want but lack. When tempted to boast, we are concentrating the wrong way on what we have attained or obtained in prestige, accomplishments, or possessions.

Being boastful refers to self-applause showing that the proud person wants the elevated view he has of himself to be shared with others. In applauding oneself, praise is being sought from those who hear. The proud person wants others to see, hear, and acknowledge his accomplishments.

This proud quest for praise may be religious (or as it is in truth, sacrilegious). It was the religious leader who praised himself in prayer and was condemned. The poor man who humbled himself was justified (Lk. 18:14a). Thus Jesus said, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk. 18:14b).

Interestingly, boasting applies to our work when we do what we do and speak about it without stating our dependence on the Lord. Boasting is speech that lacks something, that lacks this acknowledgement. Therefore, it is boasting if you speak of going to work, doing this and that, getting gain, and eventually retiring without acknowledging your dependence on God (James 4:13-17). You ought to say, “The Lord willing.” If you do not do so somewhere in your speech over time, then your speech is boastful (thus, “you boast in your arrogance,” v.16). You are living out of the spirit of independence. This is the assertion of human autonomy and self-sufficiency where you tacitly claim to be the master of your fate.

Thus, boasting is not just praising self and seeking the praise of men. It is failing to speak of God’s sovereign rule over the affairs of your life. It is failing to confess that God made you to differ from others in natural gifts, abilities, and attainments. It is pride to not acknowledge that all the distinguishing advantages you have come from God (1 Cor. 4:6, “who made you to differ? What do you have that you have not received? Then why boast?”).

Love is not rude. Do you intuitively connect rudeness with pride? Rudeness is a wrong view of oneself coming out in contexts where superiors are present. By superiors I simply refer to the fact that we are all under God ordained human authority structures. It begins with the relationship we have to our mothers and fathers. We are commanded to honor them (cf. the 5th of the Ten Commandments). The principle carries over to all authority structures that God has ordained for life on this earth. There may be some gray areas here as to how we carry out the fifth commandment in its true spirit and intent. But it still has a vital relevance that should be sought after diligently.

In contexts where we relate to those in authority over us (mom, dad, police, governors, elders, and pastors, etc), rudeness expresses wrong thinking about ourselves. You operate in such a way that you show that you are full of yourself. You think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. That is what often drives disrespect, poor manners, and the lack of common courtesies (cf. Titus 3:1-2 where submission to authority includes courtesy that shows maturity).

Consider the case of the mother that taught her daughter to call her by her first name. The child is obedient to do this. She even “honors” her mother by respecting mom’s wishes in this regard. Probably, the parent seeks in this way to build a bond of friendship with the child by closing the distance between them. This is trying to establish a kind of equality by removing the title, mother, and replacing it with a first name basis. If it is wrong, and I think it is wrong, it is not the worst thing that could be done. It is well intentioned and many other things may balance it. However, because of the fifth commandment, which is an important guideline for us to follow, the wrong thing is being cultivated. Instead of cultivating equality by first name familiarity, parents ought to instill a sense of respect for the authority that mother and father have by God’s appointment. In other words, they should cultivate a sense of the inequality that pertains or better they should cultivate a sense of the authority that parents have as mother and father. A helpful way that this is done is in the manner of address.

There are gray areas in how this applies to various authority structures in various cultures and contexts. But on balance the spirit and intent is to express respect for those in authority over us (cf. the disrespect of calling the president of the United States “slick Willy” even though he may not have carried himself honorably).

Even table manners show a respect for others that involves giving place to them, it involves yielding to their wishes, and putting them first. Teaching children to speak when spoken to instills respect for adults. Listening when someone else is speaking is courteous rather than rude. In the college classroom, sometimes I have to remind the students that carrying on side conversations when someone is speaking is rude.

In this connection, is it rude to refer to the pastor by his first name? Some pastors make a point of establishing a first name relationship. Is that the right way to go? Let me give you some thoughts on this. This is somewhat delicate and I aim to be as moderate in my conclusions as I can be.

First, let’s talk about children. Children should be taught to respect mom and dad and by extension to respect adults, office holders, and thus pastors. Just as young children should not go around calling adults by their first names, likewise, they should not refer to their teachers at school or their pastors at church by their first names. What about teens, are they to avoid a first name familiarity with their teachers? What about college students ranging from young people to much, much older young people? Are they to avoid a first name familiarity? I am not sure on how insistent that we ought to be on this point. But I will say that when students refer to the instructor in terms that show respect for his learning and his position in the classroom (obviously with a respectful tone and hopefully with a respectful heart) they honor the teacher and they cultivate a healthy learning environment. The instructor is thus not treated as my best friend but as an educated person that is helping me overcome my ignorance. A tone is set that encourages teaching by the teacher and learning by the student. By analogy, I would say that referring to ministers as pastors acknowledges the God appointed office they hold and it sets a tone that encourages pastors in their labors and that encourages disciples of Christ in their learning under pastoral care. The idea of being under pastoral care involves humble submission in the context of gospel preaching and teaching (cf. 1 Thess. 4:12-13; 1 Tim. 5:17-18; Heb. 13:7, 17).

Second, let’s distinguish between heart submission and “nouns of address.” If church members do not value the principle of submission to their pastors, then they have a problem of pride. That is the case because submission is a matter of humility, of humble love. Furthermore, if they can never bring themselves to address the pastor as “pastor,” it may be due to a spirit of pride. However, one may have respect without cultivating it in nouns of address (as in the mother/daughter example cited above because of other things that have a balancing effect).

Third, let me speak to this in a subjective way. I feel honored when you refer to me as your pastor and when you address me in this way. Without question, I feel more honored to be addressed as pastor than to be called Reverend, doctor, or by my first name. When you call me by my first name I gladly own our friendship. Our friendship is very important to me and I highly value it. But when you call me by my first name I do not feel honored as your pastor. It is not that I feel dishonored, probably because I am honored to be your friend. In the use of first names, being honored as your pastor is simply not in the picture; it’s a different ball game. However, when you address me as pastor, it is like a call to attention for me; it gets my attention in a very endearing way. It is a reminder to me of my office and when you use this noun of address, it is a polite way of telling me that you think of me in this way, namely, as your pastor, yours personally. This is a little thing that goes a long way on the path of encouraging me. It removes fog from the road and serves as an invitation to me to be your pastor in the best way that I can. It is encouraging to me. By your use of this title, I feel respected, honored, and encouraged in my work in the gospel (cf. Heb. 13:17). It is one way that I feel loved by you (cf. 1 Thess. 5:12).

Using a person’s first name is a lesser and an external matter. The real issue is the cultivation of honor, avoiding obvious and offensive rudeness, and thus cultivating love. Calling me “pastor” is a polite way for you to affirm my calling before our risen Lord and to push me forward in serving you in a personal way. As I mentioned before, this may be a little thing but “little things mean a lot.” I may have stated this somewhat poorly but there is a relationship of some kind between pride in the heart, speech (like boasting), and courtesies that express and promote God ordained authority structures.

2A. The implied exhortation to humble love

As we have stated before, the description of love is given to unpack the duty of following the excellent way (1 Cor. 12:31). The duty is like changing clothes. We have the duty to our risen Lord to take some things off and to put other things on. We are to infer to the opposite of pride. In this way we are to turn from pride to humble love. Here are some inferences we can draw in this connection.

1) Commit your greatness to God. A text in Jeremiah states this point succinctly: “Should you then seek great things for yourself? Seek them not” (Jer. 45:5).

The opening section of the love chapter shows us how to be somebody (cf. the “I am” phrases). What the proud person wants is only obtained by turning away from pride to humble love. By humble love true meaning is given to who I am. If I really want to be someone great, I must pursue the excellent pathway of love. Here is the opposite of pride: I must leave it to God to give what greatness He chooses, how it will be made evident, and when it will become a reality in my experience (in the now or in the not yet). So, the exhortation is, “go the way of humble love.” Put your personal ambitions aside. Leave whatever greatness shall be yours in the hands of the Lord to give as He pleases.

2) Let your “yielded-ness” be evident to all. Pride shows up in seeking the greatest regard. An arrogant person has a certain “air” about him; he has his nose in the air. His ideas are the best and are to be followed by everyone else. The exhortation here is to yield to the wants, wishes, needs, goals, desires, and perspectives of others as much as you can (in little things and in larger things). This is especially true in the life of the church and in the Christian home. It is a great quality of humble love to have husband and wife trying to out do each other in yielded-ness: “you go first, let’s do what you want, no not what I want but what you want.” In this connection, it is a difficult problem when one party gives and the other only takes: the proud person says, “yea, me, what I want is most important.”

3) Replace scorn with kindness. To scorn is to belittle by words, gestures, or actions, to make people feel small or unworthy in our presence. It comes out in sneering ridicule (directly or indirectly given). Sometimes we learn how to improve when we are scorned but it still hurts (I recall becoming aware of how I spoke by being ridiculed for using words like “chimly” for chimney and “tager” for “tiger” as in the Detroit Tagers). Thus, by kind words and deeds protect the feelings of others. This exalts others while curbing self-exaltation.

4) Express a teachable spirit or be teachable. Stubborn pride leads to contention because the stubborn person wants everything to go his way and if it does not then he will make things difficult for others.

Here is a needed caution. When you disagree with pastoral exhortations or correction from others and you say to yourself (and perhaps to others), “I disagree” be careful, you think you stand but you are in danger of falling. If you say, “I don’t need this,” then mark it down, you probably need it in a big way. There is something there for you that you need. But you will never tap into it if your stance is characterized by an unwillingness to take a hard and possibly painful look at yourself. Here is a valuable perspective by which to guard the heart: whenever you find yourself in a spirit of resisting something, of hand waving, and of throwing up barriers to block full consideration of something, then at that very point you need to humble yourself before God and others.

Let me say something more about “I disagree.” It is usually a sign of need. It can be ostentation in a subtle way. Other people are informed that I do not agree with x or y. What does this contribute to the discussion? It often simply polarizes and ends discussion if any were about to take place. My view is placed out in bold relief over against “so and so’s” view. The accent is on “my” view. It is totally different if a) reasons are given for my view and reasons are given that justify rejecting the other view. It is totally different b) if discussion is engaged with the person I disagree with. If I am unwilling to engage hearty interchange and godly argument then the “I disagree” phrase is a smoke screen for closed mindedness.

For example, let’s say you disagree with my preaching on some important areas of the law of God in relation Christian living. We can all agree that that is a legitimate posture for you to take and you are a believer-priest with no authoritative pope over you. We gladly and enthusiastically grant that as Protestants in the reformed tradition. However, if you disagree with your pastor-teacher and never engage him on that point then something is wrong, perhaps seriously wrong. This is a case where seeking out different views (seeking discussion with those who disagree with you) is most relevant for the valuable exercise of iron sharpening iron (Prov. 27:17). Ultimately it helps both parties and humble “one anothering” love will so engage (cf. how a sparring partner advances a boxer).

Open-mindedness goes hand in hand with humility. Unwillingness to compare with empathy (looking for the good) shows how narrow mindedness manifests a proud spirit. A good question to ask ourselves when confronted and the “I don’t agree” phrase comes out is, “Do I have a pride problem, am I thinking of myself more highly than I ought?” A humble person will oppose taking the hard line first with inflexibility.

Hence there is a two-tiered problem here. a) In particular, there is the issue of correction regarding whatever it is that is on the table. For example, when those close to us have some problem with our conduct and they tell us about it, this is a correction that ought to be received, pondered, and carefully weighed to whatever benefit we can get. b) But in general is the issue of pride. Which is worse? Most likely, the worse thing is the general disposition of pride, especially when the particular issue arises directly from pride and is driven by it. Even if the correction is inaccurate and unfair, it is evident that the proud spirit that is aroused is the most important real problem.

Thus, willingly receive teaching, admonition, and correction. Recall the fact that pride makes us uneasy when we are exposed. It may make us angry. Humility will dispose us to accept and even prize correction. It is seen as the work of a friend in kindness (Ps. 141:5; Prov. 12:13, 18). Peter directly says “clothe yourselves with humility” (1 Pet. 5:5-7; he weaves humility before God and before man into the same fabric of godly conduct).

Conclusion

1) Admit your need to the Lord. Swallow your pride. Own up to the hidden man problem like Augustine did: “Yes, Lord I wear a mask looking in the mirror of your holy word. Take me from behind my back where I have placed me and show me how foul I truly am. Let me see this sin squarely but in light of the healing balm of the humble love of Christ who gave Himself for me.” This is how we are exposed to the all-seeing eyes of God without being reduced to shameful things and shattered into a thousand pieces. Again, recall that Jesus said, “he that humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk. 18:14).

2) The ultimate remedy to pride is to give all glory to God. That means to turn away from self, from autonomy, self-applause, boasting, and rudeness.

1. a) To give God glory is to acknowledge your comparative smallness before Him admitting that you are finite and sinful. In Genesis18: 27, Abraham says, “I am but dust” in contrast to God whose throne is in the heavens. With Job, the humble person says, “I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes”(Job 42:6). This attitude “before God” is the most essential thing. Say, with the Psalmist, “not unto us, not unto us, but to your name give glory.”
2. b) Hence the flip side of this is even more important. You are to confess His comparative greatness (His incomparable greatness) by submitting to Him, praising Him, seeking His will in your daily life, and seeking to glorify God in everything you do. For example, consider Psalm 139:1-6 and the Psalmist’s confession of sin and ignorance before the Lord whose knowledge is “too wonderful for me, it is high and I cannot attain unto it.” Also, consider how God is independent needing nothing whereas we totally need Him “in whom we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:24-26).
3. c) So humility begins with knowing God. If you get a true view of the sovereign majesty of God manifest in the work of Jesus Christ the risen Lord, then you will worship. You will worship Him, praise Him, and seek to honor Him in all you do. It presupposes the belief that man is created by God to be His image. We can never have a proper view of ourselves without a proper view of the Creator/creature distinction and relationship presented in the Bible. Humility is a comparative thing. Comparing is where we often get into trouble yet this is exactly where humility comes into play. It is a matter of how we see ourselves in relation to God and from that perspective how we see ourselves in relation to others.

3) Subject yourself wholly to the risen Lord Jesus Christ. This is the way to greatness, exaltation, peace, and rest of soul (cf. Matt. 11:28-30).

I close with the following thoughts from Edwards:

Distrust yourself. Rely only on God. Renounce all glory except from him. Yield yourself heartily to his will and service. Avoid an aspiring, ambitious, ostentatious, assuming, arrogant, scornful, stubborn, willful, leveling, self-justifying behavior; and strive for more and more of the humble spirit that Christ manifested while he was on earth. Earnestly seek, then, and diligently and prayerfully cherish, a humble spirit, and God shall walk with you here below, and when a few more days shall have passed, he will receive you to the honors bestowed on his people at Christ’s right hand (Charity, 155-56).

The Cookie Thief

A woman was waiting at an airport one night. With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop, Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see, That the man beside her, as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between, Which she tried to ignore, to avoid a scene.

She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock, As the gutsy “cookie thief!” diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!”

With each cookie she took, he took one, too. When only one was left, she wondered what he’d do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh, He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other. She snatched it from him and thought, “Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve, and he’s also rude, Why, he didn’t even show any gratitude!”

She had never known when she had been so galled, And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate, Refusing to look back at the “thieving ingrate.”

She boarded the plane and sank in her seat, Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise. There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes!

“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair, “Then the others were his and he tried to share!”
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!

Source Unknown

(1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV)  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Love is not puffed up (phusioutai): prideful, arrogant, conceited; oes not think nor act as though oneself is better or above others. Love is modest and humble and recognizes and honors others.

Love is not inflated with its own importance.  Napoleon always advocated the sanctity of the home and the obligation of public worship-for others.  Of himself he said, “I am not a man like other men.  The laws of morality do not apply to me.”

The really great man never thinks of his own importance.

Carey, who began life as a cobbler, was one of the greatest missionaries and certainly one of the greatest linguists the world has ever seen.  He translated at least parts of the Bible into no fewer than thirty-four Indian languages.  When he came to India, he was regarded with dislike and contempt.  At a dinner party a snob, with the idea of humiliating him, said in a tone that everyone could hear, “I suppose, Mr.  Carey, you once worked as a shoe-maker.”  “No, your lordship,” answered Carey, “not a shoe-maker, only a cobbler.”

He did not even claim to make shoes-only to mend them.  No one likes the “important” person.  Man “dressed in a little brief authority” can be a sorry sight.

Arrogance and boasting are the reverse side of the coin. Jealousy is my sinful response to the prosperity of others. Arrogance and boasting are my sinful response to my own prosperity.

Arrogance (or pride) takes credit for my “success,” as though it were due to my own merit or superior efforts. Boasting is letting other people know about my success in a way that tempts others to be jealous of that success.

These Christians had a problem with boasting:

(1 Corinthians 1:29 NIV)  so that no one may boast before him.

(1 Corinthians 1:31 NIV)  Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

(1 Corinthians 3:21 NIV)  So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours,

The Corinthian believers thought they had arrived at perfection. Paul already had warned them “not to exceed what is written, in order that no one of you might become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. For who regards you as superior? And what do you have that you did not receive? But if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? You are already filled,” he continues sarcastically, “you have already become rich, you have become kings without us; and I would indeed that you had become kings so that we also might reign with you” (1 Cor. 4:6-8).

Becoming still more sarcastic, he says, “We [the apostles] are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are prudent in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are distinguished, but we are without honor” (v. 10). A few verses later the apostle is more direct: “Now some of you have become arrogant, as though I were not coming to you” (v. 18).

(1 Corinthians 5:6 NIV)  Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?

Paul’s response was very different:

 (1 Corinthians 9:15-16 NIV)  But I have not used any of these rights. And I am not writing this in the hope that you will do such things for me. I would rather die than have anyone deprive me of this boast. {16} Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!

 (1 Corinthians 15:31 NIV)  I die every day–I mean that, brothers–just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Everything good that the Corinthians had came from the Lord, and they therefore had no reason to boast and be arrogant. Yet they were puffed up and conceited about their knowledge of doctrine, their spiritual gifts, and the famous teachers they had had.

They were so jaded in their pride that they even boasted about their carnality, worldliness, idolatry, and immorality, including incest, which was not even practiced by pagans (5:1). They were arrogant rather than repentant; they bragged rather than mourned (v. 2). Love, by contrast, is not arrogant.

The Confession of John the Baptist – John 3:22-36

“After these things came Jesus and his disciples into the land of Judaea; and there he tarried with them, and baptized. {23} And John also was baptizing in Aenon near to Salim, because there was much water there: and they came, and were baptized. {24} For John was not yet cast into prison.

John alone bears witness to Jesus’ early Judean ministry which lasted 8-9 months. In the Synoptics we have no hint of this period which took place between Matthew 4:11 and 12 (cf. Mk 1:13-14; Lk 4:13-14). Jesus came to Jerusalem for the Passover (Jn 2:13, about April) and stayed until four months before harvest (Jn 4:35). During this time Jesus cleansed the temple (Jn 2:13-22), performed many miracles (Jn 2:23; 3:2), and baptized disciples (Jn 3:23). But we have very meager details of his actual words and deeds.

During these days, John’s popularity was falling off as quickly as Jesus’ was growing. That is, in fact, exactly what John desired. But in their fraternal competition, John’s disciples saw this as a real setback. This is the impetus behind our text.

Jesus’ ministry had been in Galilee up to this time. Now He moves into John’s domain. The six disciples of Jesus were with Jesus here…John 4:2 tells us that Jesus did not personally baptize anyone. Have you ever wondered why?  Is it likely that Jesus knew “fan clubs” would develop later if they had been baptized by THE SON OF GOD? We need only look at the church at Corinth (cpt. 1) to see the problem manifested.

When Jesus began to preach He soon overshadowed the ministry of John the Baptist. Yet John spoke of Him as “He who comes after me, the thong of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie” (John 1:27).

 “An argument developed between some of John’s disciples and a certain Jew over the matter of ceremonial washing. {26} They came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan–the one you testified about–well, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him.” {27} To this John replied, “A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. {28} You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.”

These are the last recorded words of John the Baptist. They show John’s dignity and Jesus’ superiority. His first statement, “A man can receive nothing, unless it has been given him from heaven,” can apply either to himself or to Jesus. If he means Jesus, he would be saying, “Jesus received his ministry from God, therefore, I am pleased that he has so many disciples.” But if John is talking about himself, he may be saying, “My ministry I received from God. Therefore, I have no right to promote myself or exceed the bound of my purpose.” This makes a lot of sense, especially in the context of vv. 28-30.

John’s picture from verse 29 was a joyous and common one in his day (cf. Jer 7:34; 25:10; 33:11). The friend of the bridegroom would announce his coming, ask for the hand of the bride, and prepare the arrangements for the reception. But his joy was in promoting his friend, not himself. Likewise, John’s joy is in Jesus’ advancement, not in his own. Never were more noble words spoken from a disciple than these of John, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”(vs. 30).

His response incorporates four ideas:

1. God is in charge, not man (vs. 27).
2. All work is significant, but only one work is preeminent (vs. 28).
3. Joy comes from being obedient, not from getting glory (vs. 29).
4. Humility calls attention to Christ, not self (vs. 30).

It is interesting to note that four of the greatest men in the Bible faced this problem of comparison and competition: Moses (Numbers 11:26-30), John the Baptist, Jesus (Luke 9:46-50), and Paul (Phil.1:15-18). A leader often suffers more from his zealous disciples than from his critics!

The similar response can be seen in Moses as he deals with the competitive spirit that has surfaced in his followers regarding two young, upstart prophets.

Numbers 11:26-29: “However, two men, whose names were Eldad and Medad, had remained in the camp. They were listed among the elders, but did not go out to the Tent. Yet the Spirit also rested on them, and they prophesied in the camp. {27} A young man ran and told Moses, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” {28} Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses’ aide since youth, spoke up and said, “Moses, my lord, stop them!” {29} But Moses replied, “Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the LORD would put his Spirit on them!”

If the new teacher was winning more followers it was not because he was stealing them from John, because God was giving them to him. John understood that no man could receive more than God gave him.

It would ease life a great deal if more people were prepared to play the subordinate role. So many people look for great things to do; John was not like that. He knew well that God had given him a subordinate task.

It would save us a lot of resentment and heartbreak if we realized that there are certain things which are not for us, and if we accepted with all our hearts and did with all our might the work that God has given us to do.

To do a secondary task for God makes it a great task! Mrs. Browning said, “All service ranks the same with God.”

Jealousy and envy are often used interchangeably, but there is a difference. Envy begins with empty hands, mourning for what it doesn’t have. Jealousy is not quite the same.

It begins with full hands but is threatened by the loss of its plenty. It is the pain of losing what I have to someone else.

John and Moses certainly knew how to cope with envy and jealousy. So did the psalmist in Psalm 75:6-7: “No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt a man.  {7} But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another.”

“The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. {30} He must become greater; I must become less.”

John used a vivid picture which every Jew would recognize, for it was part of the heritage of Jewish thought. He called Jesus the bridegroom and himself the friend of the bridegroom (one of the great pictures of the Old Testament is of Israel as the bride of God and God as the bridegroom of Israel. The New Testament took this image and spoke of the church as the bride of Christ {2 Cor. 11:2; Eph. 5:22-32}).

The friend of the bridegroom, the “shoshben,” had a unique place at a Jewish wedding. He acted as the liaison between the bride and the bridegroom; he arranged the wedding; he took out the invitations; he presided at the wedding feast. He brought the bride and the bridegroom together.

And he had one special duty: it was his duty to guard the bridal chamber and to let no false lover in. He would open the door only when in the dark he heard the bridegroom’s voice and recognized it.

When he heard his voice he let him in and went away rejoicing, for now his task was completed and the lovers were together.

He did not begrudge the bridegroom the bride. He knew that his only task had been to bring bride and bridegroom together.  And when that task was done he willingly and gladly faded out of the picture.

John the Baptist had the task of bringing Christ and Israel together; to arrange the marriage between Christ the bridegroom and Israel the bride. That task completed he was happy to fade into obscurity for his work was done.

It was not with envy that he said that Jesus must increase and he must decrease—it was with joy. It may be that sometimes we would do well to remember that it is not to ourselves we must try to attach people; it is to Jesus Christ! It is not for ourselves we seek the loyalty of men; it is for him.

“The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is from the earth belongs to the earth, and speaks as one from the earth. The one who comes from heaven is above all. {32} He testifies to what he has seen and heard, but no one accepts his testimony. {33} The man who has accepted it has certified that God is truthful. {34} For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit.”

Once again, John’s theology of Jesus astounds us (vv. 31-36). Here we have a fully developed understanding of Jesus’ divinity and sonship, as well as obedient faith in response to him.

Like wisdom, love says, “Pride and arrogance and the evil way, and the perverted mouth, I hate” (Prov. 8:13).

Other proverbs remind us that “when pride comes, then comes dishonor” (11:2), that “through presumption comes nothing but strife” (13:10), and that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling” (16:18; cf. 29:23).

Pride and arrogance breed contention, with which the Corinthian church was filled. In such things love has no part. Arrogance is big-headed; love is big-hearted.

Swallow your pride occasionally. It’s nonfattening.    — Tyger, Frank. Men of Integrity, Vol. 3 No. 3 p. 52.

He who takes his rank lightly raises his own dignity.   — Hebrew Proverb, quoted in Men of Integrity, Vol. 3, no. 3, p. 55

In Charles Colson’s book about his experiences during Watergate, he shares one of President Nixon’s problems — he could never admit he was wrong in anything. In fact, Colson said that even when Nixon obviously had a cold — nose running, face red, sneezing, all the symptoms of a cold — he would never admit it.

Some people’s egos are so huge that they have to be either the bride at the wedding or the corpse at the funeral.  They think other people exist only to serve them in some way or another.  Adolf Hitler was like that.  According to Robert Waite, when Hitler was searching for a chauffeur, he interviewed thirty candidates for the job.  He selected the shortest man in the group and kept him as his personal driver for the rest of his life; even though the man required special blocks under the driver’s set so that he could see over the steering wheel.  Hitler used others to make himself appear bigger and better than he really was.  A person consumed with himself never considers spending time raising others up.   — Robert G.C. Waite