Category Archives: Disappointments

Introduction

In the light of Scripture, we see that the prosperity gospel is flawed. There is perhaps one general reason why the prosperity gospel is a wayward gospel: Its faulty view of the relationship between God and man. Simply put, if the prosperity gospel is correct, grace becomes obsolete, God becomes irrelevant and man is the measure of all things. Prosperity teachers seek to turn the relationship between God and man into a financial quid pro quo transaction. As scholar James R. Goff noted, God is “reduced to a kind of ‘cosmic bellhop’ attending to the needs and desires of his creation.”[17] This is a wholly inadequate and unbiblical view of the relationship between God and man.

“To live with the object of accumulating wealth is anti-Christian.” Charles Spurgeon uttered these words over a century ago. Over the years, however, the message preached in some of the largest churches in the world has dramatically changed. This new gospel has been ascribed many names — including the “prosperity gospel.”

No matter what name you use, though, the essence of this new gospel is the same: God wants believers to be physically healthy, materially wealthy and personally happy. Listen to the words of Robert Tilton, one of the prosperity gospel’s most well-known spokesmen:

I believe that it is the will of God for all to prosper because I see it in the Word [of God], not because it has worked mightily for someone else. I do not put my eyes on men, but on God who gives me the power to get wealth.[2]

The prosperity gospel continues to be in the headlines. How should we think about the prosperity gospel? Is the prosperity gospel only a mildly different teaching, or is it an entirely different gospel?

The prosperity gospel is not just a different teaching; it is a different gospel.

Error #1: The Abrahamic Covenant is a means to material entitlement.

One of the theological bases of the prosperity gospel is the Abrahamic covenant. Prosperity gospel advocates are correct that much of Scripture is the record of the fulfillment of the Abrahamic covenant, yet they do not maintain an orthodox view of this covenant. In particular, they hold to an erroneous view concerning the application of the covenant. Researcher Edward Pousson explains,

[According to the prosperity gospel,] Christians are Abraham’s spiritual children and heirs to the blessings of faith. . . . This Abrahamic inheritance is unpacked primarily in terms of material entitlements. [4]

In other words, God’s primary purpose for the Abrahamic covenant was to bless Abraham materially, they claim. Since believers are now Abraham’s spiritual children, they have inherited these financial blessings of the covenant. For example, prosperity teacher Kenneth Copeland writes,

Since God’s Covenant has been established and prosperity is a provision of this covenant, you need to realize that prosperity belongs to you now! [5]

To support this claim, prosperity teachers appeal to Galatians 3:14, which refers to “the blessings of Abraham [that] might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus.” They conveniently ignore the second half of the verse, which reads, “That we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.” Paul was reminding the Galatians of the spiritual blessing of salvation, not the material blessing of wealth.

Error #2: Jesus’ Atonement extends to the “sin” of material poverty.

Prosperity gospel advocates also misunderstand what happened on the cross. Theologian Ken Sarles wrote that “the prosperity gospel claims that both physical healing and financial prosperity have been provided for in the Atonement.”[6]

This seems to be an accurate observation in light of teacher Kenneth Copeland’s comment that “the basic principle of the Christian life is to know that God put our sin, sickness, disease, sorrow, grief, and poverty on Jesus at Calvary.”[7]

This misunderstanding of the scope of the Atonement stems from two errors that proponents of the prosperity gospel make.

First, many who hold to prosperity theology fundamentally misunderstand the life of Christ. For example, teacher John Avanzini proclaimed, “Jesus had a nice house, a big house,”[8] “Jesus was handling big money”[9] and He even “wore designer clothes.”[10] It is easy to see how such a warped view of the life of Christ could lead to an equally warped misconception of the death of Christ.

Second, many prosperity gospel teachers misinterpret 2 Corinthians 8:9, which reads,

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich.

A shallow reading of this verse may lead you to believe Paul was teaching about an increase in material wealth, but a contextual reading reveals Paul was actually teaching the exact opposite. Indeed, Paul was teaching the Corinthians that since Christ accomplished so much for them through the Atonement, how much more ought they to empty themselves of their riches in service of the Savior?

This is why just five short verses later Paul would urge the Corinthians to give their wealth away to their needy brothers, writing “that now at this time your abundance may supply their lack” (2 Corinthians 8:14). Jesus did not die to save you from material poverty.

If the prosperity gospel is correct, grace becomes obsolete, God becomes irrelevant and man is the measure of all things.

Error #3: Christians give in order to gain material compensation from God.

One of the most striking characteristics of the prosperity theologians is their seeming fixation with the act of giving. Students of the prosperity gospel are urged to give generously and are confronted with such pious statements as, “True prosperity is the ability to use God’s power to meet the needs of mankind in any realm of life,”[11] and, “We have been called to finance the gospel to the world.”[12]

While these statements appear to be praiseworthy, a closer examination of the theology behind them reveals that this emphasis on giving is built on anything but philanthropic motives. The driving force behind this teaching on giving is what teacher Robert Tilton referred to as the “Law of Compensation.” According to this law, which is purportedly based on Mark 10:30,[13] Christians need to give generously to others because when they do, God gives back more in return. This, in turn, leads to a cycle of ever-increasing prosperity.

As Gloria Copeland put it, “Give $10 and receive $1,000; give $1,000 and receive $100,000;… in short, Mark 10:30 is a very good deal.”[14] The prosperity gospel’s doctrine of giving is built upon faulty motives. Whereas Jesus taught His disciples to “give, hoping for nothing in return” (Luke 10:35), prosperity theologians teach their disciples to give because they will receive a great return.

Error #4: Faith is a self-generated spiritual force that leads to prosperity.

Whereas orthodox Christianity understands faith to be trust in the person of Jesus Christ, prosperity teachers espouse quite a different doctrine. In his book, The Laws of Prosperity, Kenneth Copeland writes,

Faith is a spiritual force, a spiritual energy, a spiritual power. It is this force of faith which makes the laws of the spirit world function. . . . There are certain laws governing prosperity revealed in God’s Word. Faith causes them to function. [15]

This is obviously a faulty, if not heretical, understanding of faith. According to prosperity theology, faith is not a God-centered act of the will, stemming from God; rather it is a man-centered spiritual force, directed at God. Indeed, any theology that views faith solely as a means to material gain rather than the acceptance of heavenly justification must be judged as faulty and inadequate.

Error #5: Prayer is a tool to force God to grant personal prosperity.

Prosperity gospel preachers often note that we “have not because we ask not” (James 4:2). Advocates of the prosperity gospel encourage believers to pray for personal success in all areas of life. In regard to the power of prayer, Creflo Dollar writes,

When we pray, believing that we have already received what we are praying, God has no choice but to make our prayers come to pass. . . . It is a key to getting results as a Christian. [16]

Certainly prayers for personal blessing are not inherently wrong, but the prosperity gospel’s overemphasis upon man turns prayer into a tool believers can use to obtain their desires from God. Within prosperity theology, man — rather than God — becomes the focal point of prayer. Curiously, prosperity preachers often ignore the second half of James’ teaching on prayer which reads, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3). God does not answer selfish requests that do not honor his name.

Certainly we should make our requests known to God (cf. Philippians 4:6), but the prosperity gospel focuses so much upon man’s desires that it may lead people to pray selfish, shallow, superficial prayers that do not bring God glory. Furthermore, when coupled with the prosperity doctrine of faith, the teaching upon prayer within the prosperity movement may lead people to attempt to manipulate God to get what they want — indeed, a futile task.

This is far removed from praying to God to see his will accomplished.

Worldly discouragements:

Some Christians become discouraged at the wickedness in the world. Lot’s soul was vexed by the wickedness he witnessed every day (2 Peter 2:7–8 (ESV) and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked ⁸ (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard);

Some Christians become discouraged by persecution (1 Thessalonians 3:1–8 (ESV) Therefore when we could bear it no longer, we were willing to be left behind at Athens alone, ² and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s coworker in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith, ³ that no one be moved by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are destined for this. ⁴ For when we were with you, we kept telling you beforehand that we were to suffer affliction, just as it has come to pass, and just as you know. ⁵ For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain. ⁶ But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love and reported that you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you— ⁷ for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith. ⁸ For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord.

Some Christians become weary of struggling against sin (Hebrews 12:3–4 (ESV) Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. ⁴ In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 4. Some Christians become discouraged by crisis. Job suffered a crisis that none of us have or likely will experience. While he did experience discouragement, he remained faithful to God

(James 5:11 (ESV) Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

We sing a song titled “I Have Decided To Follow Jesus” (#299), and the second verse reads, “Tho’ none go with me I still will follow, no turning back”. This is the attitude we ought to adopt.

What you can do:

1. Be encouraged by Jesus’ prayer. Jesus warned that disciples would have trouble in the world (John 16:33), but Jesus prayed to the Father asking that He would “keep them from the evil one” (John 17:15).
2. Be encouraged by Jesus’ example. Jesus understands the temptations and discouragements we face and can sympathize with us (Hebrews 4:14–16 (ESV) Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Jesus Himself endured all manner of sufferings because He kept in view the joy that was before Him (Hebrews 12:2).

3. Be encouraged by God’s Sovereignty. Whatever we face, God will ensure that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28 (ESV) And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

What can others do?

1. Demonstrate what it means to “seek first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33).

Does your daily life exemplify this to the people you work with? to your family and to your friends? Are you making it clear to others where your priorities lie

2. Make it clear by your example who it is we love the most (i.e., not our jobs, hobbies, etc.) (1 John 2:15–17 (ESV) Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶ For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. ¹⁷ And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
3. Develop close friendships with new Christians (Acts 2:46; 4:32; Romans 12:15). Friendships centered around Christ and His work, not just social interests.

Often the new Christian is drawn away from a consistent Christian life by the cares of the world–by the job, the family, hobbies and pleasures of life. Not necessarily bad in themselves but so time consuming that they take up all free time. No time left for Christ.

Your friends will often serve to discourage you by luring you back into the things of the world, the old self-destructive patterns of life as well as harmless hobbies and pastimes that just take up too much time. We’ve got to “wise up” to these subtle temptations.

Paul warned “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God…” (I Cor. 15:33-34)

Pleasures and responsibilities Luke 8:14 (ESV) And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

Discouragement by friends 1 Corinthians 15:33–34 (ESV) Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” ³⁴ Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame.

Developing relationships that are in the Lord, not just social interests. Develop close friendships with Christians IN THE LORD

Friendships centered around Christ and His work . Not just social interests.

You didn’t get the job you wanted. Somebody you love let you down. Whatever the circumstances, it didn’t turn out how you expected, and now you’re disappointed.

You prayed about it, meditated on scriptures, sought Godly counsel, and things still didn’t work out for you. You wonder what happened to “ask and you shall receive.”

You’re left paralyzed, wondering how to pick up the pieces and make your next move.

To say it’s painful is an understatement—no matter the magnitude of the disappointment. If you don’t tend to those feelings, it can cause you to spiral into deep depression and despair.

Disappointment is a hard pill to swallow. Nobody likes it, but it’s something we will face throughout our lifetime.

If you stop and think about, the Bible is full of disappointed people—John, Moses, David, Jacob, Hannah, etc.

Even Jesus experienced disappointment on many levels during His life: when people didn’t heed the Good News, when His disciples didn’t believe, when He encountered the ritualistic mindsets of the Pharisees—to name a few. Perhaps His greatest disappointment was when God didn’t save Him from the cross.

The good thing is that those biblical characters all overcame disappointment to accomplish their goals and do great things. We all know Jesus overcame the greatest disappointment for us.

We will face disappointment again and again in our lives, but how we respond to it should change over time.

We shouldn’t go on the emotional roller coaster every time we don’t get what we want or what we expected.

It should become less about what we desire and more about what God desires for us. As Jesus prayed when He asked God to spare Him the suffering He knew He would face on the cross, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

It’s also important to remember that God didn’t disappoint you—life’s circumstances and people disappointed you. When something bad happens in life, it’s not a time to blame God, it’s a time to run to him.

Since disappointment is something we’ll all experience, it’s important to be able to respond to it in a positive manner.

Here are three healthy ways to deal with disappointment:

MOURN, THEN RELEASE YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT TO GOD

You experienced a loss, so it’s natural to mourn. Have a period where you feel sad about the situation, then pick yourself up.

It might take time, but you must make a decision to move past the disappointment. Don’t run from it—face it and release it.

Pray about it, being honest with God about how you feel. But don’t let disappointment be a shadow over your life.

EVALUATE AND ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS

There is another side to disappointment. It can be crippling, but it also can be humbling, since it is a way to examine where and in whom we place our hope.

Misplaced hope ultimately leads to disappointment. Assessing that disappointment can be a starting point in readjusting our expectations about the things we want in life.

It’s natural and normal to want things and to want to excel, but issues arise when we begin to believe our happiness is based on achieving that goal or being with that person.

What happens when you lose that job you love? Where do you turn when that person walks out of your life? You become deflated, hopeless.

Learn to place your hope solely in God. That truly is the most secure place for it to be.

GET MOVING

Don’t wallow in your disappointment. Wallowing is not productive and can actually be harmful.

Get your mind off your circuitousness and get active. Pick up a new hobby, visit friends or volunteer at an organization that inspires you. Reach beyond yourself and help somebody in need or help someone achieve their goals.

Disappointment can also be a time of renewed resourcefulness. Try something else, go in a different direction or maybe approach things a new way. If one dream dies, pick up another one and keep moving forward in life.

We will all face disappointment many times in our life. We were never promised everything we want or an easy life. We live in a broken world and that is not possible. In fact, Psalms tells us “the righteous person may have many troubles” (Psalm 34:19).

However, you can rest assured that even though you didn’t get what you wanted, God is with you and will never forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). In fact, He will still use that disappointing situation for your good (Romans 8:28).

The Constant Refrain

(Exodus 34:6) “And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness…”

God is a holy God and His nature is not to be taken for granted…but His nature is clearly revealed again…He wants to save!

Relate rebellious nature of the children of Israel and see the end result:

(Numbers 14:18) “‘The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.'”

The law is read before a large group of people and, after standing for hours, they repented of their sins…and remembered God in the past and related it to their present:

(Nehemiah 9:17) “They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them…”

Psalmist complains about the abuse he’s taken in life:

(Psalms 86:15) “But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”

(Psalms 103:8-14) “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. {9} He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; {10} he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. {11} For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; {12} as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. {13} As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; {14} for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”

This statement is like John 3:16 to the Jewish people……it is given as a constant reminder for the Israelites…..(Psalms 145:8) “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.”

¹⁶ “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

(Joel 2:13) “Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”

(Jonah 4:2) “He prayed to the LORD, “O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.”

(Nahum 1:3) “The LORD is slow to anger and great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet.”

We are converted to Christ, not the church’s shepherds, teachers, minister, worship leader or friends.

• Primary focus of your life should be your relationship with God.
• let’s overcome disappointments by seeking to think more maturely in Christ.

Certainly there is a place for learning about those in error. But there can be dangers involved in doing so…if it is done in an arrogant, self-righteous spirit. If it is done to make us feel good or superior.

Such As Constantly Exposing Denominational Errors

• Certainly there is a place for learning about those in error
• But there can be dangers involved in doing so…
• If it is done in an arrogant, self-righteous spirit
• If it is done to make us feel good or superior
• If it is done to the exclusion of learning what WE need to do if we are not careful, it can create carnal Christians, given to strife and envy

WHEN “NEGATIVE” TEACHING IS CALLED FOR…It should be done:

• For the purpose of trying to understand and teach those in error: 2 Timothy 4:1–2 (ESV) I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: ² preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Acts 20:27 (ESV) for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.

When “negative teaching” is called for…
1. It should be done: for the purpose of trying to understand and teach those in error…out of love.
2. It should be done as Paul did it…
a. With prayer for their souls
b. With recognition for their accomplishments Romans 10:1–3 (ESV) Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. ² For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. ³ For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness.

It should be done with the qualities mentioned in 2 Timothy 2:24–26 (ESV) And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, ²⁵ correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶ and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

If it is done to the exclusion of learning what WE need to do.

If we are not careful, it can create carnal Christians, given to strife and envy

It should be done with the qualities mentioned in (2 Tim 2:24-26) “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. {25} Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, {26} and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”
   What can we do?

• Never get weary in doing good. Proper time God will reward. (Gal. 6:9)
• What God wants to do through your life He will do and no one can stop it.
• What God doesn’t want you to do, don’t try to do, you will be a failure.
• Your First concern should be your relationship with God.

Other Reason • Sometimes God allows you to be ignored to test you or build you up in you spiritual characters. (Ex. Joseph, David, etc)

• God may want to see what is in your heart. (Deut. 8:2)
• People may do it intentionally but believe in God’s sovereignty

Disappointed by Lack of Opportunities. You can’t do what you want to do or what you used to do.

• You want to do something but you have no opportunities to do
• There are others who are already doing it and you don’t get chance.
• You were doing something for a long time and now you are in a new place and no one is recognizing you. There are people who already do it.
• Parents are worried and argue/fight for getting opportunities for children.
• What can we do? • Believe in the Sovereignty of God.
• Understand that what you are its because of God and it is God who has anointed you. (Ex. David)
• You are a resource in the hands of God and he will use in what way He wants and not in the way you want.
• Humble and commit yourself to God. God will use you in a way and at the time he wants. (Jam 4:10. 1 Peter 5:6)
• Allow God to mould and build your children in His way.

Four Stages of Spiritual Growth • Christians generally go through four stages of spiritual growth…

• The “ball of fire” stage, following their conversion to Christ
• The “reality” stage, when the disappointments start to come in
• The “up and down” stage…

Here, people either grow through it to the next stage… or they fall away, or become apathetic (i.e., “pew-warmers”)

Finally, those who persevere reach the stage of “steady as they go”, where growth is progressive and steady.

“But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” – Proverbs 4:18

Conclusion-Disappointments. There may be other disappointments new Christians face, but I have found these to be quite common

• To reach that stage where we will grow steadily…
• We need to have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of problems to come

The Christian life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride when strong hope and faith collide with an unexpected reality. When our prayers aren’t answered as we desired and our dreams become shattered, disappointment is the natural result. 

Think back to the time when you first came to the Lord and made your decision to become a Christian. You might have been a young child in Sunday school. It may have been when you were a teenager at church camp, or later on as an adult.

It could have been a sudden and dramatic experience where you felt the load of sin and guilt lift off of you in such a way that it was overwhelming to say the least. Or it could have been a gradual experience–steady and sure–but you realized that a transformation was taking place.

Look back to that time–then and now. Has your Christian experience been all smooth sailing? All joy? All uphill with no disappointments?

Sometimes we get our eyes too much on people and the inconsistencies we see in their lives. New Christians especially will be overwhelmed by Christians who do not “practice what they preach” and allow these people to become stumbling blocks to them.

This really hurts when you see others that you have looked up to do something that shocks you. You might say, “I just can’t believe that they did that!”

This may occur in Bible classes, meetings, anywhere & harsh words can be destructive! They see those not practicing what they preach. It hurts when it happens in whom they look up to.

Hypocrisy:

1. Peer pressure. Peter withdraws from the Gentiles and even leads Barnabas astray for fear of his Jewish brethren (Galatians 2:11-14).

2. Immorality. Some preach morality, but are themselves immoral (1 Corinthians 5:1-13; cp. Romans 2:21-23).

3. Partiality. Fussing over rich visitors and ignoring poor visitors (James 2:1-6).

Unfaithfulness:

1. Turning back. John Mark turned back and went to Jerusalem while with Paul and Barnabas on a missionary journey (Acts 13:13; cp. 15:36-41).\

2. Straying. Hymenaeus and Philetus strayed from the truth and preached false doctrine (2 Timothy 2:16-18)

3. Forsaking. Demas forsook Paul and fell away due to his love of the world (2 Timothy 4:9-10).

What can be done?

1. What God has promised: (i) He has promised to “never forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5),

(ii) despite any discouragement, He will give you the strength to carry on (Philippians 4:13),

(iii) He provides others to comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) and encourage us (Romans 1:11-12) – Barnabas was an encourager (Acts 11:23).

2. What you can do: a. What you need to realize: (i) Your faith is your own. It is you that shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ (Romans 14:10), which means you strive on your own to obtain the prize; we must not allow the behavior of others to become an excuse to fall away1 (1 Corinthians 9:24). Note Paul’s attitude when all forsook him: “But the Lord stood with me” (2 Timothy 4:16-18),

(ii) You are seeking to please God (2 Corinthians 5:9), not men, and obtain His praise (Romans 2:29), and

(iii) you must “work out [cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete] your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

1. Change your focus – don’t focus on those that discourage you, focus on those that encourage you (Philippians 2:19; 1 Thessalonians 3:2; Hebrews 6:11-12),

(ii) encourage yourself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6),

(iii) give yourself to prayer and study (Psalms 119:25, 28; Jeremiah 15:16).

3. What others can do: (i) encourage those that are discouraged (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Timothy was sent to Thessalonica to encourage the brethren (1 Thessalonians 3:1-2),

(ii) Set yourself forth as an example of steadfastness in the face of discouragement (1 Timothy 4:12; Titus 2:6-8); encouraging them to press on (Philippians 3:12-14),

(iii) show them that others are experiencing the same discouragement (1 Peter 5:8-9)

One instance between Paul and Peter certainly tells us that this is not new. Galatians 2:11–14 (ESV) But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. ¹² For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. ¹³ And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. ¹⁴ But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?”

Paul and Peter got into it over some inconsistencies. It is critical in our Christian life not to pattern our lifestyle after people because there is always the chance that they may let you down and you will be disappointed.

Other times Christians are disappointed by the way that other Christians treat people. Harsh words and criticism may cut to the bone especially for new Christians. This can happen in the church, in Sunday school classes, committee meetings or anywhere. Insensitive, harsh words can cause new Christians, especially, to turn away from the faith. How do you treat other people? Are you abrasive and rude to people? How do people even know that you are a Christian?

Warnings of Paul: Galatians 5:15 (ESV) But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

1 Corinthians 11:17–22 (ESV) But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. ¹⁸ For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, ¹⁹ for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. ²⁰ When you come together, it is not the Lord’s supper that you eat. ²¹ For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk. ²² What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not.

1 Corinthians 1:11–13 (ESV) For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. ¹² What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” ¹³ Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?

Harsh words can be devastating to those new in the faith.

Be consistent in our judgments Matthew 7:1–5 (ESV) Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ³ Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Allow love to rule Ephesians 4:1–3 (ESV) I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, ² with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, ³ eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Jesus said in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give unto you that ye love one another as I have loved you–BY THIS shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if you have LOVE ONE TO ANOTHER.

You can tell people, “I love you with the love of the Lord,” but if you don’t treat them nice, it is just an empty statement and does more harm than good.

ILLUSTRATION: We had a preacher’s wife who would hug people and say, “I love you with the love of the Lord.” Then she would treat you really nasty.

I Timothy 4:12 tells us to “…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” We need to be careful to set better examples for others by the way we relate to others.

2 Timothy 1:15 (ESV) You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes.

2 Timothy 4:10 (ESV) For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia.

2 Timothy 4:16 (ESV) At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them!

We can help by confessing wrong when it occurs. Reminding them that older Christians are also growing.

Philippians 3:12–14 (ESV) Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Both Peter and James speak about disappointments especially that new Christians face. Although we all face disappointments as we go through our Christian journey, sometimes the disappointments seem more overwhelming for anyone new in their faith. Problems and disappointments not only overwhelm us but some even fall by the wayside and give up–some quit going to church altogether and say, “I just can’t make it. It’s no use. I just give up… Things are a mess.”

Peter and James wanted to help people understand some of the disappointments that they would face and help them to progress in their faith rather than to become a “spiritual drop out.”

1 Peter 1:6–9 (ESV) In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷ so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, ⁹ obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Peter is connecting with the people when he says, “I know how you feel when you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime.” But he goes on to say, “Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it PROVED to be pure. Genuine faith put through this suffering comes out PROVED genuine” (Message Bible I Peter 1:6-9).

James 1:2–4 (ESV) Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James follows up this same idea by saying, “Count it a sheer gift when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed–not deficient in any way” (Message Bible, James 1:2-4).

These two writers are telling us that we will face disappointments when we become a Christian, but it is not necessarily a bad thing for it only serves to test our faith and to show that it is genuine. The hassles we go through serve their purpose–to help us become strong and mature in our faith.

STORY: Justin had two goals in life. One was to have fun and the other was to do nothing. According to his Mother, he does both quite well. He headed for the school bus one fall morning and a few minutes later, he was back at the front door. His mother opened the door and saw Justin standing there. She demanded to know why he was not on the bus. He said, “I’ve quit school.” “Quit school,” she repeated in disbelief. “Why have you quit school?” Without hesitation the six-year old dropout said, “It’s too long, it’s too hard, and it’s too boring!” “Justin,” his Mother said firmly, “You have just described life! Now get back on that bus!”

Peter and James are telling us the same thing in these scriptures. Throughout this paragraph Paul maintained a balance between conscious personal responsibility for one’s own life and looking out for the needs of others. By laying aside our attitudes of superiority, we can be ready to help others.

Realize that you will not always maintain the “ball of fire” stage. There is also the “reality stage” when disappointments start to come but where growth begins to take place. Faith is tested but that is not a bad thing. There are the “up and down stages” like Peter experienced as well. But keep on going–you’ll get to the “steady as a rock stage” where growth is progressive and steady.

Proverbs 4:18 says, “But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines brighter unto the perfect day.”

This lesson is designed to help us understand and deal with some of the disappointments new Christians face. The way to handle disappointment doesn’t change, because the key is re-focusing on God, and He doesn’t change. He is good, and He is faithful, all the time. No matter what.

I have found two “power tools” for dealing with the pain of when our hopes and expectations are deferred or, worse, obliterated.

First, take a firm hold on the comforting truth of the sovereignty of God: a good and loving God is in control. He permits nothing to touch our lives without His express permission, with a perfect purpose. If God allows disappointment to darken our days, it is His good gift of a “something better” later.

Disappointment may be preparation for something in the future. It may be a just-right tool for producing Christlikeness—spiritual maturity—in us. It may prevent something bad we couldn’t possibly foresee.

The second power tool is God’s command to give thanks for all things (Ephesians 5:20), in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

We don’t have to feel goose-bumpy, warm-and-fuzzy thankful; giving thanks is a choice of the will. When we give thanks for something God has chosen to allow into our lives, we are acknowledging He is Lord, that He is “large and in charge.”

We are acknowledging that He has the right to allow disappointment to cast its shadow on our lives, and it keeps us connected rightly to our Creator, as His creature. “Lord, I thank You for allowing this deep disappointment into my life, even though I don’t understand how You could possibly redeem it and make it okay.” That’s what trust looks like, and it pleases the Lord. It also helps us maintain an eternal perspective, that everything—everything—is part of a much bigger picture we cannot see.

What is the wise, biblical, God-honoring way to handle disappointment? Fortunately, we have lots of examples of people in the Bible who wrestled with disappointment:

Women carrying the pain of years and years of infertility (measured month by month)—Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Samson’s mother, the Shunammite woman, Elizabeth.

Joseph served for years with faithfulness and integrity inside a prison for a crime he did not commit; after correctly interpreting the dreams of fellow prisoners with access to the pharaoh, his hopes of being freed were dashed when the cupbearer forgot him.

An individual. Simon the sorcerer was converted, but was tempted to offer the apostles money for the power to impart the gift of the Spirit. Peter condemned him and he promptly repented (Acts 8:9-25).

A couple. Satan tempted Ananias and Sapphira to lie; they both yielded and were killed (Acts 5:1-11).

A church. Paul was concerned that the brethren in Thessalonica may have yielded to Satan’s temptation to fall away. But Paul had nothing to fear because they had not yielded (1 Thessalonians 3:1-5).

A great many in a city. After obeying the gospel, those in the city of Samaria rejoiced greatly (Acts 8:8).

David was anointed as future king, but the years dragged on as he was chased by a mentally ill king consumed by paranoia. The Psalmists anguished numerous times: “How long, O Lord?”

Solomon, with his wisdom super-power, wrote in Proverbs that “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). The distance between our hopes/expectations and reality—“hope deferred”—constitutes disappointment.

Seeing new Christians grow in the faith is a great blessing.

3 John 3–4 (ESV) For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth. ⁴ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

2 John 4 (ESV) I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.

Yet, not all grow as they should…

Luke 8:13–14 (ESV) And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. ¹⁴ And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

Problems and disappointments sometimes overwhelm them, and some fall away and do not beat lasting fruit.

Romans 5:1-5 “1Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

(NLT): Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.  

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Christians face lot of disappointments which are Internal many times.

• Many People don’t come up open regarding it and hence go with it.
• If it is not addressed from a biblical point of view then it can create problems like self condemnation, self pity etc.
• People can be deceived by devil by not allowing them to overcome it or understand what is God’s will or way out of it.
• Some people burst out and try to solve it but many keep silent and carry it and ultimately one day it bursts itself. Sometimes its too late!

Sometimes you may hear the statement, “Come to Jesus and all of your problems will be solved.” When people find they are still facing the same weaknesses as before, they wonder, “What is wrong with me?”

Have you ever felt this way? Why am I still having a struggle with temptations? Why don’t I FEEL joyful all the time? Why do I still have the same addictions? Why does my temper still flare up at the drop of a hat? Why do I still have financial problems? I thought Jesus would “FIX” all of this for me.

Many people become Christians excited about the forgiveness of sins, the chance to start over, excited about the help God is going to give them to change.

But many times the changes that will take place happen gradually rather than instantaneously–in the ongoing growing process. So people begin to feel disappointed in themselves and think there is nothing to Christianity.

ILLUSTRATION: A teenager at Juvenile Detention said, “I prayed once and nothing happened so I’m not going to pray anymore.”

Some of us have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We live in an instant society where computers are not fast enough, food preparation takes too long, and we impatiently honk our hors if the red light doesn’t change fast enough.

We think our Christian growth should take place instantly but this is not realistic. When we come to Christ He DOES forgive us of our sins the minute we ask, but that is THE BEGINNING of our transformation toward maturity. Our faith is tested and tried over time to see if it is genuine–to see if it can stand the fire of the refining process.

Temptations and tests may be just as strong or stronger for Christians and especially for new Christians who may expect too much too soon.

Do not be disappointed in yourself if you seem to stumble over and over again. Peter, who wrote these words for believers, was a Christian who was always getting his foot in his mouth, blurting out something inappropriate, disappointed in himself. But he didn’t give up–he became a ROCK–a steadfast person of faith.

They were excited about forgiveness…excited about starting over…excited about God’s help to change.

Then they discover: some temptations are still strong and others are stronger! This can be discouraging.

How can we help? Teach them that “transformation” is a process.

Remind them of God’s ONGOING…willingness to forgive and strengthen.

HOW CAN WE HELP?

By teaching them that “transformation” is an on-going process:

(Rom 12:1-2) “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. {2} And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

By reminding them of God’s willingness to forgive and provide strength

(Phil 2:12-13) “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, {13} for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”

(1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

(1 John 2:1) “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”

Philippians 2:12–13 (ESV) Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

This Ought to Concern Us…Older Christians have a responsibility to those who are young in the faith.

Romans 15:1–3 (ESV) We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. ² Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ³ For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”

What God has done:

He has provided spiritual armor that we might protect ourselves from the onslaughts of Satan (Ephesians 6:10-18)

He has promised to provide a way out of every temptation and will not allow us to be tempted above that which we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13; James 4:7)

He has provided an advocate with the Father to make intercession for us (1 John 2:1-2).

What we can you do:

Make sure you are maintaining your relationship with God through prayer – you speaking to God (Luke 22:40; 1 Thessalonians 5:17) and study – God speaking to you (1 Peter 2:1-3; Colossians 3:16; Galatians 5:16).

A failure to maintain your relationship with God will inevitably mean you will fail in all areas of your lives

Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23): keep your mind focused on things above (Colossians 3:2), set no wicked thing before your eyes (Psalms 101:3), and keep yourself separate from the world (1 John 2:15-17)

make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14).