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TJ on Skype; Sunday Assembly; China Scenes…Hot Weather..and Train Wreck Recovery

The temperatures are rising in all of our worlds, it seems. Heat index over 105+ here and similar everywhere we have family in America.

We went to our second Western-style restaurant with our first Chinese family and had a few surprises: first, some air conditioning was present, and also in the taxi home (a pleasant event now that temperatures are over 92 degrees and humidity very high). Second, they do pizza crust very well here, though my sausage pizza also had green peas and corn on it and very little tomato sauce.

Quite healthy, though, and it is working; on the way home I stepped on an outdoor store scale and weighed only a mere 174 pounds, and that was a night-time weight, which is usually a few pounds more than in the morning! I haven’t weighed that little since a sophomore in college when I was hungry at the end of most every day (do not know why I never bought a cafeteria meal ticket so I could get three regular meals a day).:-)

We have found simple things to be more difficult here: bought a plastic toilet seat and installed it, a simple thing with a Home Depot in the neighborhood, but not so easy in China. We were told by several people that a new toilet seat was nearly impossible to find; it took knowing the right person and a taxi ride eight miles away.

I installed on my trusty Dell Vostro 1720 a 60-day trial edition of Office 2010, and like some of the features with Publisher, which I have used for this newsletter since late-March. Have also upgraded to Adobe Professional 7.0 and Excel 2010, which are also part of my weekly use.

I don’t think I have mentioned earlier how many more spam messages are received here than at any time in my life. Every one of them wants me to send information in order to receive a huge financial windfall that is so ridiculous it is amazing that anyone ‘bites  on their ploy.’ Desperation, I suppose, can get hold of anyone as they grasp for something better in their life.

Our 2001 Chrysler Town & Country van being kept in Texas has rusted out, it seems. The brake and power steering lines just could not withstand any longer the rust from winter ice put on the streets during those 60” of annual snow.

It’s the second time a vehicle we bought in the snow-belt of Ohio has rusted away, though both times much of the car was still running OK. We will now need a rental when we return in January-February in order to visit family between California, Texas, and Florida. 🙂

I bought a DVD entitled Ciphers in the Snow on the internet with plans to show to as many teachers and students as possible here in coming semesters (Tonia is bringing it next week when she, Wendy, and Aiden come visit for 10 days). Why is it so special? Read the following review: “When a teenage boy dies unexpectedly, his math teacher is asked to notify his parents and write his obituary. Although he was the boy’s favorite teacher, he hardly knew him. Shy and ostracized, the boy was a “ciper”–an unknown number in a class roll book. As the teacher unravels the mystery of what led to the boy’s death, he commits himself to not letting others suffer the same fate.”

I made provisions to show this to a group of high school teachers several years ago in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and it was well received. It ‘hit me’ the other day that it could be good here, too. Work with teachers and students of all ages who might benefit from this lesson? Order from this site: http://creativeworks.byu.edu/catalog/viewitem.aspx?item=tm027.

I make a point of watching It’s A Wonderful  Life and Mr. Holland’s Opus regularly, to remind me that we do make a difference in others lives, even though we might not always believe it. Tonia is also bringing Opus to me next week 🙂

Greetings from Terry: One of my four young English students has been out for three sessions with the mumps. Another boy joined the class for the first time last week and we had two one-week guests this past week.

We enjoyed a great Sunday PM meeting with ten in attendance, after having 12 last week.

We have previously stated that there is no air-conditioning in stores or restaurants. Well, we have discovered several large stores and nice restaurants that do have AC.

Howard and his wife took us out to dinner at a nice Western-style restaurant; clean, pleasant music, very nice décor, good service and good Chinese and American type food, on the second floor, plus AC turned low enough to make it OK.

Most of the tables were separated by ¾ walls and light curtain which made them into spacious private dining areas, seating was upholstered sofas on both sides of the table. Each table had a button to call the server.

The hot meals, like steak dinners, were served on an iron plate on a wood platter like in America. The person being served was given a large cloth napkin and instructed to hold it up to shield from steam and splatter as the lid was removed from the dish and they poured the very spicy sauce on the steak.

We watched a little of the World Championships in Shanghai online and got to see China’s Ye Shiwen win one of the swimming races. It was exciting. The favored American (and world record holder) was third. — Love, Terry

Dealing With Conflict

Conflict has been experienced by individuals since Adam and Eve. It has been a part of all groups of people.

Some conflict can be prevented, and some is unhealthy. The fact remains, though, that conflict is inherent in meeting personal and group needs. When conflict emerges as a result of growth (personal or group) or in an attempt to grow, it is natural and potentially healthy for the individual and the group. Thus, growth-oriented conflict, if managed properly, is hopeful, and is a sign of spirituality.

Some conflicts can be prevented if the individuals involved genuinely accept the fact that personal and group conflict is inevitable. Failure on the part of the group to accept this fact will contribute to unnecessary conflict.

This deception influences members to use denial as a defense mechanism to keep them from facing conflict when it emerges. Conflict is dynamic; therefore, the longer it is avoided in continuing relationships, the more it grows.

Some conflicts can be prevented if the group has planned realistically and adequately for conflict resolution or management once it emerges. In many congregations there are no plans, much less realistic and adequate ones, for resolving or managing conflict.

I have heard leaders say for years such ridiculous things as “We should just get along.” No one with average intelligence would dare think, much less say, that a surgeon should wait until he has a patient to study how to do surgery. Yet, in some leaderships, there are no adequate plans for dealing with conflict once it emerges.

Some conflicts can be prevented if the group members accept that when conflict emerges, it does not necessarily mean that the persons involved are guilty of sin or that they will sin by confronting it.

Group leaders and members need to perceive clearly that conflict is inherent in being both an individual and a member of a group. Conflict in and of itself is not sinful. The ones who are in conflict may sin by the way they respond to each other verbally or nonverbally, but conflict in itself is not sinful.

If individuals think they will sin by confronting conflict, they most likely will tend to deny the conflict or try to avoid the issues. Obviously, group members can sin through the way they respond to conflict, but confronting it per se is not sinful. It is the way in which the conflict is confronted, not the confrontation itself, which may be sinful.

Some conflicts can be prevented if the group members have realistic expectations of themselves. Many conflicts emerge because the group members have expectations of themselves which just are not realistic.

Some of their expectations are as follows:

• We should like each other all the time and never dislike one another.
• We should always smile and be in a good mood.
• We should always be joyful and never sad.
• We should always be in agreement with each other and never disagree with one another – especially the leaders.
• We should always be on the mountain peak and never in the valley of the mountain, or we should always be up and never down.
• We should always count our assets (blessings) and never our liabilities (problems or conflicts).
• We should be idealistic, not realistic.

These and other types of unrealistic expectations create unnecessary conflict.

Some conflicts can be prevented if the leaders and the group members set realistic and achievable goals for themselves. They must then focus on the process of achieving them instead of focusing on the goals themselves.

Conflict within the group may arise from a failure to set goals, or it may result from the setting of unrealistic goals. Also, conflict may emerge as a result of focusing only on the goals instead of on the means to achieve them.

And let’s just put one other thing “on the table:” some conflicts can be prevented if each member learns how to mind his own business.

There are some conflicts which are unhealthy.

1. A conflict is unhealthy if it is the result of the members accusing, blaming and ridiculing each other, or if they take this approach in trying to resolve an otherwise healthy conflict.

2. A conflict is unhealthy if it results from trivia and not substance. In any group there will be conflict at times over trivia, but unless the group matures to a level where trivia is given up and their conflict is over substance, their conflict will be unhealthy. Another way of expressing the same concept is that group members must grow to the point where they differentiate their opinions from matters of faith.

3. A conflict is unhealthy if the members are arguing about words and engaging in godless chatter to avoid the deeper intrapersonal and interpersonal components of their conflict.

4. A conflict is unhealthy if the members do not process their pain (fear, anger, embarrassment, guilt, etc.) of growth and conflict resolution. Emotional pain is inherent in growing or resolving conflicts; therefore, a conflict which otherwise should be healthy becomes unhealthy if the pain is not processed.

5. A conflict is unhealthy if the group members are not willing to listen to each other. Even a healthy conflict becomes unhealthy if those who are in conflict with each other are not willing to listen to one another.

6. A conflict is unhealthy if some of the group members attempt to deal with it outside the relationship in which the conflict originated. This is a principle which leaders find very frightening; therefore, few percentagewise believe it or comply with it. However, the scriptures are very clear regarding this principle. We must involve only those who are part of the issue, and not gather around us others “to engage in a pity party” on our behalf. — Gary

From America and USA Today (we see this daily): Census data released last month found that 3.1 million children in the USA were living without a parent present in the household in 2009. Of those, 59% lived with grandparents.

Grandparents step in when parents are out of the picture due to substance abuse, physical or mental illness, financial problems, incarceration, death, and more recently, military deployment and the recession.

These grandparents, many of whom had planned for travel or more “me” time, are instead navigating the terrible twos, school, sports and the vast cultural and technological changes (think Lady Gaga and texting) that have occurred since their own children were young. As a result of this growth, there’s considerable new research about this demographic, sometimes referred to as “skip generation” households or “grandfamilies.”

“I wanted to be Grandma. You know, the kids come over and you treat them special and then you turn them home to their mother or father,” says Joyce Sylvia, 69, of Providence. “That’s what I had planned.”

An analysis released last fall by the Pew Research Center found that grandparents who are primary caregivers of grandchildren are relatively young: 67% are under 60 and 13% are under 45, says the 2009 data.

“I’m nowhere near as young and energetic as I was when I was raising my own children,” says Diane Bergt, 48, of Lacey, Wash., the mother of eight. “Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with two toddlers.”

“Some people say ‘Your grandchildren are so blessed.’ No, it’s me. I’m the one who is blessed,” Bergt says.

Interesting News From China—Since 2003, 72 billionaires in the Chinese mainland have died an unnatural death, the Changchun-based New Culture News reported.

The paper reached such a conclusion after conducting a survey of the public reports of billionaires’ deaths over the past eight years.

Among the 72 billionaires, 15 were murdered, 17 committed suicide, seven died from accidents, 14 were executed according to the law and 19 died from diseases.

There were approximately 60,000 people with 100 million yuan in the Chinese mainland at the end of 2010.

Entire Apple Stores Being Faked in China –  At first, it looks like a sleek Apple store. Sales assistants in blue T-shirts with the company’s logo chat to customers. Signs advertising the iPad 2 hang from the white walls. Outside, the famous logo sits next to the words “Apple Store.” And that’s the clue it’s fake.

China, long known for producing counterfeit consumer gadgets, software and brand name clothing, has reached a new piracy milestone — fake Apple stores.

An American who lives in Kunming in southern Yunnan province said Thursday that she and her husband stumbled on three shops masquerading as bona fide Apple stores in the city a few days ago. She took photos and posted them on her BirdAbroad blog.

The three stores are not among the authorized resellers listed on Apple Inc.’s website. The maker of the iPhone and other hit gadgets has four company stores in China — two in Beijing and two in Shanghai — and various official resellers. Apple’s Beijing office declined to comment.

The proliferation of the fake stores underlines the slow progress that China’s government is making in countering a culture of a rampant piracy and widespread production of bogus goods that is a major irritant in relations with trading partners.

China’s Commerce Minister promised American executives earlier this year that the latest in a string of crackdowns on product piracy would deliver lasting results.

The 27-year-old blogger, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the set-up of the stores was so convincing that the employees themselves seemed to believe they worked for Apple.

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China company and scenes; TJ with teachers; Together Forever; Charles’ tooth…and a gorgeous sky

We came home from the market recently and Terry made this statement: “I am a rich woman. I have many jewels of green, orange, yellow and gold,” speaking of her green, orange, yellow, and gold vegetables. They are plenteous at this time of the summer, and it’s a good thing, since our “good and cheap” restaurant is closed for the summer. We are also able to get boneless, skinless chicken breasts, so we are doing just fine and lean pork.

One of Terry’s students told me via qq.com instant messenger that “all the students want both of you to teach us all the time” when I told him all of her students would be my students in the fall. A kind statement, but may be because our grades are 4-6 points higher than the other teachers, do you think?

Oh-h-h-h, no! Today we discovered a particular brand of ice cream across from the front gate. Had not really looked for them or one needed before….and we did not overdo it…but since most things are not eaten/drunk cold here, it was a treat, especially on a hot summer afternoon.

Terry will not have her official schedule till late August, but she found out today that because one of the teachers has resigned, they want her to teach the Pronunciation/Intonation course, rather than Oral English. She asked for, and received, the old book, since a new one is to come later in the summer…looks OK but will be something new…all freshmen on the West campus, which is what she wants. She will teach Oral English during the spring, using the book she used last semester.

Surprise! The new book Terry will use is the one we recorded for Dr. Yang last February-April! She also did the proof-reading. She had a meeting with Dean Catherine…was given that news…it is being printed and might be two weeks late, but we think it will be ‘worth the  wait.’ (Terry won’t be able to complain about the contents, huh?).

Every young boy has that moment when his ‘baby tooth’ is loose and it’s time to come out. That was the case with Charles (see photo, right). His tooth was barely hanging on…but as his English class proceeded, it was time to work it loose and get it out. Then they all celebrated the event together. Terry is so-o-o good with the guys…she is really enjoying the time with them.

We came to appreciate our students the initial week, and it has only grown as we watch their determination and admire their desire to learn English. To   (continued on page two)

them, it opens the world and many opportunities. And realize that the government is pushing more of its young people to learn the language, to explore the world, to reach for the ‘best they can be’ in this world.

I am thankful daily for those little ‘baby steps’ of President Richard Nixon many year ago to visit this country, to open the doors of communication, etc. The 2008 Beijing Olympics were billed as China’s ‘coming out party’ and I see firsthand that it was exactly that for the its people.

It is an exciting privilege and honor to be here…and amazing to realize that we will have ‘at our feet’ another 300+ new students this fall, adding them to the many others who are already our dear friends.

That number does not include the eight teachers who are regularly part of important discussions…and I am going to offer a pre-marriage series (Together Forever) on weekends in the fall and winter, with several teachers already saying they want to be part of it. We also have two groups of 12 sophomore students planning to be part of them in other sessions…in addition to our regular group of 11 who will be juniors this semester and were part of a weekly group. We like being busy with important things. 🙂

I have begun getting the word out to the 150+ juniors I had last semester to see if they are interested in this, their last year here. (see complete flyer at end of this newsletter).

We found air-conditioners at work on our monthly trek to the larger grocery store….a nice surprise! The RT had it on and the taxi was also cooler for the 27-minute ride home. A trip of some 2 hours…taxi was 36 yuan ($6 USD) for the round-trip.

We saw a construction crew working on the exterior of a five-story concrete building, putting red bricks on the outside with mortar. A six-person crew, two of them older than 55, and three of them were women. They do work side-by-side in many areas.

Greetings from Terry: I miss American libraries! The easy access of information in a system I understand. I know you can look up anything on the internet, but not me. Not the way my brain works.

I like to see and hold the book; to have someone point me in the right direction then leave me alone to discover, but be available for help if necessary.

To me, to be without a library is like being without a dictionary. And believe me, I use my dictionary. (I have to. I can’t spell worth a hoot.) The order of the letters just doesn’t stay in my mind. Remember when you asked your teacher the meaning of a word or how to spell something and she told you to look it up in the dictionary? Well, I was the student who would. I live with a dictionary close by. My dear Gary even bought me a little speller that is battery operated that I can carry with me.

In America, I use the library almost as often. Anytime I have a question (and believe me, I have a lot of questions) of who, what, when, or how, I can go to the library and usually find the answer. The reference people are kind, helpful and “upbraideth not”, which is very important.

My Daddy always told me, ”Never be afraid to ask questions.” As I think of it, that is what 12 year old Jesus was doing at the temple, ”listening to them and asking them questions.” Many times I have been very thankful that Benjamin Franklin used his talents and understanding to start the library system. (At least I think it was Ben) I’m not a detail person. 🙂

Our mandarin lessons are going well, even though learning a new language makes you feel like you‘re walking in the dark. We are making progress.

Yeah! I get to teach freshmen again. They asked me to teach pronunciation from the textbook Gary and I recorded for Dr. Yang. Then in the spring teach Oral English again using the same book as last semester. This is all very good news and I am looking forward to it.

Last night (Wednesday, July 20) we had our first Chinese family over for a meal (see photo below). We had chicken parmesan and all went well. Howard, Zhou Hao, is a thirty five year old English teacher and his wife, Luo Chun Lei, teaches Art. Theory; three year old son, Duo Duo, is so cute. They live one floor up from us. Howard is one of the people that has been very helpful to us in many ways. Even though Luo Chun does not speak English, she understands spoken and written English.

We had a very pleasant time. They are both loving parents and it is good to see the three of them interact. Until recently her mother lived with them and took care of Duo Duo while they both taught. After classes ended she moved away to help care for a relative who is terminally ill with cancer. — Love, Terry

Steps in building self-esteem

There are so many things we can do to leave behind the ‘thinking traps’ we set for ourselves in regard to self-esteem. We have the ability to analyze and correct our mind and thoughts. Here are some basic steps in building self-esteem:

1. Discover thinking mistakes that contribute to your low self-esteem. Look at your history, write down statements about yourself, keep a daily journal.

2. Challenge the validity of each self-statement: dispute, challenge, contradict, and reverbalize them one at a time. One idea that is often effective is to try and prove you are worthless. You will learn that worth has little link with competency.

3. Learn how these misconceptions originated and see that they are inaccurate, unrealistic, and distorted.

4. Write a new list of correct beliefs on a card and read the list daily…they become your new self-talk.

5. Role-play situations in which you have felt inferior in the past. Learn to perform tasks which you normally avoid.

6. Practice these new behaviors during the next week, perform needed tasks you previously avoided because of feelings of inferiority, and then properly assess the outcome. Do not be prejudiced against yourself because of improper assessment of outcomes.

We need to set realistic goals and press on to the High Calling: …one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…”

We need to be fair to self: If you would forgive others by doing what you have done, forgive yourself. Don’t be prejudiced against yourself. It’s not fair!

Learn “stop thinking.” Label negative, unproductive thoughts as garbage! And substitute positive thoughts for negative thoughts.

Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is a good deal than a mere feeling. It involves emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components.

It also entails certain action dispositions: to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite.

Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in the efficacy of our mind, in our ability to think.

By extension, it is confidence in our ability to learn, to make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change.

It is also the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment-happiness-are right and natural for us.

Some might ask: doesn’t a focus on self-esteem encourage excessive and inappropriate self-absorption?
Rationally, one does not focus on self-esteem per se; one focuses on the practices that support and nurture self-esteem-such as the practice of living consciously, of self-acceptance, of self-responsibility, of self-assertiveness of purposefulness, and of integrity.

Self-esteem demands a high reality-orientation; it is grounded in a reverent respect for facts and truth.

Excessive and inappropriate self-absorption is symptomatic of poor self-esteem, not high self-esteem.

If there is something we are confident about, we do not obsess about it-we get on with living.

We believe we are here for a reason: to reach out to the 18-23 year old university students in Jingzhou, sowing seeds of knowledge and understanding wherever possible. We know it will not return  to us void. We have the opportunity to teach the future leaders of China, and to be ‘stretched’ ourselves in the process. Your thoughts and support are deeply appreciated!  — Gary and Terry

Some interesting news from China:  For decades China was an isolated nation due to the suppression and oppression by foreigners in various forms. It had severe turmoil and civil wars to reach towards the sunny light. The sunny light called ‘reform and opening-up’ initiated in 1978 opened China’s doors to the outside world.

It was just a matter of a few years before China’s economy flourished to gain the momentum of global growth. Today, China stands tall and competes with global players. The numbers of rich in China has superseded the numbers in many developing nations. The modern infrastructure encapsulates its march toward a modern lifestyle; and the rising social standard in cities mesmerizes those who visit China. Yet, the common Chinese find it amusing to see the presence of foreigners.

A sight of a foreigner amuses even a Chinese kid, who will be seen shouting “laowai”, even if this sounds annoying to some. A walking foreigner in many places of China is still strange for many ordinary Chinese. Everything about the foreigner becomes important sting from what one wears to what one carries. Probably to adapt the styles or to make a bit of fun, a foreigner in China is still a strange creature.

With the spread and popularity of Chinese language, many foreigners can now speak good Chinese. In fact, it is a must for the survival of foreigners in China. However, a simple “nihao” uttered from the mouth of a foreigner in proper sound and tone, and any ordinary Chinese will have an immediate reaction “your Chinese is very good.”

In case, one really speaks good Chinese, then one has to be ready to face the later part – which country do you belong to? How come your Chinese is so good? What are you doing in China?

If one passes in this general aptitude test, then a range of personal questions follow – are you married; if married, how many kids; if unmarried, why don’t you find a Chinese girl or a Chinese boy, I can help introduce; what is your age etc.. Are Chinese talkative? Yes, for the sake of understanding the life of a foreigner, almost all Chinese are talkative.

China posted a fiscal surplus of 1.25 trillion yuan ($193.3 billion) in the first half of the year as steady economic growth and rising prices lifted government revenues, the Ministry of Finance said. The surplus, equal to about 6.1 percent of China’s gross domestic product from January to June, is well above Beijing’s target for a full-year fiscal deficit of 2 percent of GDP.

That said, Beijing normally accumulates a fiscal surplus in the first three quarters of a year before accelerating spending at year-end to pull the annual budget into the red. National fiscal revenues in June rose 28 percent from a year ago to 1.01 trillion yuan, compared with May’s 34 percent increase and April’s 27 percent gain.

The economy grew 9.5 percent in the second quarter, beating expectations and easing concerns over a hard landing amid tight monetary policies targeting high inflation. The growth rate was higher than the 9.3 percent predicted by many economists. Other indicators also point to a soft landing for the economy.

Gross domestic product rose 9.7% in the first quarter and 9.8 percent in the fourth quarter of last year. The figure for the first half of this year stood at 9.6 percent.

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Children at play; Nice visitors, shared birthday pics; Chinese scenes

We have experienced the ‘patience of Job’

We celebrated with two friends the end of the semester at a Western-style steak place, and wonder if any of the owners have ever been to one in America before. It was like one, a little, but not really. But glad to “get it off our list” of things to try; not sure we’ll ever get to the McDonald’s, though. Except for their pancakes and sausage biscuits, I rarely have been to one of those even at home. 🙂

Found a Subway in Wuhan (3 hours away) on our only trip there, and it is almost exactly the same. Pizza Hut and KFC were closer to the “real thing.” Have found that French fries are exact and they did have pepperoni, though no one seems to know what it is. Our favorite ‘good and cheap’ restaurant off the front gate did close for the summer break, but we found other places and will be OK until August 28.

We have seen “the patience of Job” again in our life. Gillian and Jasmine are steady and full of encouragement, but understanding, as we are in the midst of learning Mandarin. Working through the four tones and list after list of vocabulary words is quite stimulating. We are making progress, which is the favorite word I use with our English students; am now applying it to myself.

Our Good Life from the Wisdom book got off to a good beginning, with ten in attendance. We’ll work toward “the conclusion of the matter” during the summer and fall…discussion was good and interest high. That discussion has already produced another weekly study on another night on related matters and some great questions.

Family we met will join our first day Assembly and we’re going to discuss lessons from James. Practical and basic seems to be the ‘order of the summer’ and there is lots of enthusiasm for our endeavor…expecting nearly a dozen.

I now have a ‘qq.com account,’ which is the email/instant message forum for the students. They installed it for me (found English version so I could read the screen) and put their account numbers in for me. We now get instant messages from them during the day as they arrive home and say “good morning” and tell us what’s happening, now that they are at home.

They are not children, but we enjoy hearing they are home safe and doing well…and miss them. We also know  their families are glad to have them around for about 50 days. Just a few are still in the area…they have found young students they can tutor, as a part-time job. Once a person gets older, they are not so much in a hurry to go home…they have ‘made the break’ and are more independent.

One of the students come from the Hainan province, which is ‘way south’ like South Florida in the USA. She got to the bus that would take her to the train station and go south…she was allowed to get on and continue her trip. Her classmates are actually still there (one day later) waiting for the crowd to diminish and get a seat…remember there are thousands trying to leave the area now, and the bus/train system is always strained. When she arrived at her province, there was not a bus available to go to her hometown, so she is staying with a friend while she waits.

We saw a store ritual as we came home: a group of female employees gathered in front of their store (on the sidewalk) did a series of chants and cheers, singing and laughing…after joining hands in a circle, separated and went into the store to begin the day (see photo). Quite positive and enthusiastic display as their workday commenced.

Another interesting (unique) three minutes with TJ: I began telling her of a thought I had when I realized her eyes were glazed over and she was not hearing a word. I’ve learned to stop and try to figure out what might be happening: she wasn’t praying (her eyes were open)…she wasn’t reading scripture (no bible open)…and it hit me…she was doing her stretching exercises (her body parts looked like twisted or shaken spaghetti or pretzels…she looks like a praying mantis or several of the cranes when the Karate Kid stood on one leg for that special pose that won the tournament at the end of the movie). 🙂

I told her of my dilemma, and we had a good laugh. Then she told me why her mind was somewhere else and she did not know I was talking: “I was counting, and when I get confused, sometimes I can do 10 or 20 seconds too-o-o much or too-o-o little, and that’s not good.” (As the conversation continued, I learned she now can count in English, Spanish, and Chinese, which keeps it from getting boring. She can only count to six in German and is trying to remember French, but can’t remember the numbers Tonia taught her when she was studying the language. We’ll have something to work on August 8-17 when she’s here visiting). That’s my TJ :-).

We were coming back from a walk to one of the stores further from our apartment. Terry was carrying one of the bags, and I asked, “Is the bag that heavy?” “No, it’s not bad at all.” “What about the bags under your eyes?” I innocently asked. “Actually, they are not as bad as the ones in America, though that could change any day,” she said with a chuckle, not missing a beat.

Have I mentioned that I have had no need or desire to wear a suit and/or tie since February 13, 2011? There simply is no requirement or event thus far. (Could have saved some room in my suitcases when we came over…glad I only brought two).

I have discovered iTunes podcasts to catch some of the news and sports reporting that have been part of my life for many, many years. There is even a world view of sports on CCTV 5 online here.

Want to see world news in English in China? The internet allows it: http://english.cntv.cn/01/index.shtml. Check out the China travelogues, as well.

It’s been a sad summer for Ohio State and Tennessee sports fans 😦

An interesting item  at the bank this week: we found out we will not receive August payroll until it is combined in September, since the university finance department is on vacation with the students. It could have been worst…sometimes the July is put off, too. They pay at the beginning of the month in advance, and we will see when/if July is deposited by the announced time.

With no classes, we have ‘time to think’ and it reminds me of our university ‘director days.’ I’d be up and out with the day demands by 7 a.m. and then up with students till after 9 p.m. It felt equally good then (and now) to have the break between semester classes. We’re staying busy, but it is a different kind of busy…and we are really enjoying it. Both of us are using our kindles often and daily.

Nothing is official until the classes actually begin, but I have already received my schedule for the fall. I will have 8 classes, all at 8 a.m. and 10:05 a.m. Tuesday –thru– Friday (Monday off for preparation).

I will have all of Terry’s freshman students from last fall in six classes, in addition to one of my freshman groups (seven oral English classes in all…around 365 sophomore students). I will also have one class of some 50 sophomore students for Teaching/Listening skills.  All the classes on the Central campus, a 4-minute leisurely walk from our apartment, so that is real nice…compared to three classes last semester on a different campus, one of them a 4-5:40 p.m. class.

Have I admitted ‘out loud to anyone’ that we both decided the Chinese classics we were going to read during the summer are a lot like many of the American classics…wordy and boring. I got through 213 pages and it was just t-o-o-o much of the same thing over and over…. 🙂

Greetings from Terry: The children gave me a really nice journal to record our experience in China. It is filled with quotes and scriptures. This one I like especially: “The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.”

There is no diagram, directory or map of this campus so my new project is to explore and gather information and then sketch one. It will be helpful to me and I can offer it to the new students in September.

Thursday, July 7 we had our first Mandarin lesson and it went pretty well. Since our two teachers have to travel so far on a hot bus to get here, we have decided to meet once instead of twice a week (for two hours). It was fun and we made progress, therefore it was successful.

We also had our first discussion/study of The Good Life with five English teachers and two other adults close to campus. It was very good. We are so glad to have the opportunity. They were all very interested. One person in particular called the next day after reading ahead in the text and had questions so she came over for additional discussion. This is our idea of a fun summer.

I have finished reading a very interesting and profitable book;  A Study of Angels by Edward P. Meyers (Gary had finished it and recommended it). He handles the text well. I appreciate his study, collection and presentation of the text in an understandable style. — Love, Terry.

Contentment: Where?

Do your circumstances bother you? Are you at that place in life where you wish nothing would change, and yet everything is changing? Are you having to adjust to new surroundings or new people?  We need to ‘learn’ what there is to learn about contentment.

It is a great mistake to build our happiness on circumstances or things, because circumstances change and things have a way of wearing out and losing their value. True internal peace cannot be based on changing external things. We need something deeper and more satisfying.

Yet, most people build their happiness on the passing, external things of this world. And, for this reason, they are never really happy.

Real contentment must come from within. You and I cannot change or control the world around us, but we can change and control the world within us. It has often been said that what life does to us depends on what life finds in us.

The word content does not mean “complacent.” Paul was anything but complacent! He felt a burden and carried good news to city after city regardless of peril or persecution.

Nor is contentment a dreamy attitude or vague feelings that lift you out of the world and make you immune to trouble and trial. Some people are always looking for new ways to be immunized against the hurts of life or protected from the bumps and scars of life. This is not contentment.

Actually, the word is best translated “contained.” It carries the idea of self-sufficiency. In other words, Paul is saying, “I don’t depend on things on the outside, because I carry my own sufficiency on the inside.”

Contentment, then, is actually containment: having the resources within to face life courageously and handle it successfully.

If you had all the props and crutches taken away from your life, would you be able to stand? Do you have that divine sufficiency and adequacy within?

We usually fall down because we want to receive inner contentment and spiritual adequacy instantly by reading a book, or saying a prayer, but that is not the way we become adequate in the inner man. We learn it by experience.
This means we must go through troubles and trials, difficulties and sacrifices, and we must face changes in our lives. If everything remains the same, then we will die of the status quo. Life will become a comfortable coffin; but who wants to be a comfortable corpse?

Resistance to change is one of the chief causes of discontent and worry. We want to keep ourselves, our children, and our lives just as they are. We fight change, and in so doing, we rob ourselves of the contentment.
There is not growth without challenge, and there is no challenge without change. If our lives are going to be isolated and insulated we will never face any challenges, but this means we will never have opportunities to mature.

For mature people, life is a battleground, but they are willing to face the battles and, by faith, win the victories.
For immature people, life is a playground; and they want to avoid battles, but this means they never have the joy of winning victories and growing.

We believe we are here for a reason: to reach out to the 18-23 year old university students in Jingzhou, sowing seeds of knowledge and understanding wherever possible. We know it will not return  to us void. We have the opportunity to teach the future leaders of China, and to be ‘stretched’ ourselves in the process. Your thoughts and support are deeply appreciated!  — Gary and Terry

News in China: China’s inflation escalated to the highest level in three years amid lingering pressure, with the consumer price index (CPI), the main gauge of inflation, jumping 6.4 percent year-on-year in June, the National Bureau of Statistics said.

The June inflation rate accelerated 0.9 percentage points from May’s 5.5 percent which stood at a 34-month high, both far exceeding the government’s annual inflation control target of 4 percent. Of the 6.4-percent CPI growth in June, 3.7 percentage points were contributed by the carryover effect of price increases last year, the NBS said in a statement on its website.

After South Koreans, U.S. citizens form the second-largest national group among the nearly 600,000 foreigners living on the Chinese mainland at the end of 2010, says China’s national statistics bureau.

At a time when many Americans back home worry whether fast-rising China is out to eat their lunch, the number of Americans living on the Chinese mainland has reached a record high of 71,493, according to Chinese census bureau figures released in April.

In addition, more than 60,000 Americans live in Hong Kong, according to the U.S. State Department. A 2005 estimate of 110,000 Americans living in China included Hong Kong residents. Another 430,000 people from Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau lived in China at the end of 2010, but Beijing does not count them as foreign residents.

Some Americans in China have seen decades of dramatic change, from radical Maoism to cutthroat capitalism. Today, newbies arrive daily to take up jobs or hunt them down, in what has become the world’s second-largest economy behind the USA‘s. Many work for Fortune 500 firms or U.S. agencies. Others come to teach, study, volunteer, travel, blog and party.

To boost mutual understanding in what is an often tense relationship between the nations, Washington and Beijing are ramping up people-to-people exchanges, including a drive to send 100,000 U.S. students to China over the next four years.

“There are a lot of really bright young Americans who are here in business or studying, and they are building great bridges between the USA and China,” says Thomas Skipper, minister counselor for public affairs at the U.S. Embassy in Beijing.

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TJ’s birthday, summer students; Family; China’s high-speed train, long bridge, other scenes and politics

Students Move To Central Campus

We have gone through the emotional responses by some of our students as they moved some things to our campus, where they will spend the next three years of their lives when the fall term begins. (They are allowed to move some things in rather than having to take them all home for the summer.) All of Terry’s students, and half of mine, were on the West campus last semester

There were “ups and downs” as they adjusted to the ‘imagined’ contrasted with what ‘really is.’ Some of the teachers literally lied to them, apparently, telling them it would be “better than the dorm where you are now,” when they were going from almost-new to very old

The enrollment and housing costs on this campus are more expensive, since it is an independent one, compared to the other five locations, which are public. It is also older and in need of repairs. Some dorms are just much (!) nicer than other ones

Jingzhou is an old city, over 600 years. Deep history. A popular statement here: “there is dust here 600 years old.” We are glad to be here to help encourage and challenge them to make the most of their opportunities! The people can make other negative thoughts go away

Terry has taken on a part-time summer job,teaching English to four 10-year old boys. They have only just begun learning English at school in the past few months, but did very well at the first sessions.One is the nephew of our English department head, who lives in the apartment just above us. She has the boys in our apartment twice  a  week  for  90 minutes …. and  is so-o-o-o excited to have the contact with others in our educational community

Dean Catherine’s daughter, Lily, came to help with translation, where needed, the first few minutes. This small number is just fine, though there are others interested.We’ve had 90-plus temperature in recent days, but have a very good breeze most of the time, which brings me to another story:.

A not so ’funny’  thing happened on the way home with our 14” birthday/anniversary cake. An eight-foot aluminum sign on rollers was blown into my legs as I was ready to enter the front gate. It hit me hard, knocking me flat to my hands and knees. I had skinned knees and bumps/bruises, but was ok (see photo).

The cake was another matter! It landed right-side-up in the secure box, but it was no longer the same. I got home as quickly as possible so we could open the package and see what we could salvage. We were able to put it  into four smaller containers in the refrigerator until the group came to help eat it.

I have often told couples planning weddings that “a sense of humor is the best gift you can give each other. It acts as a shock absorber in the days ahead.”

My words proved prophetic. Our friends made it a wonderful occasion…and the cake was absolutely delicious: chocolate cake and icing, with real whipped cream and cherries in the middle. They had even put small serving plates and birthday candles in the package. We will have much to remember and laugh about at each anniversary forward. 🙂

We live in amazing times! Within the last few minutes, I have communicated through email on our cell phones/computers with friends in Beijing, Jingzhou, Tennessee, and my son in Georgia, at a Braves game.

Anybody have an old Blackberry you are not using due to upgrades but still works and is unlocked? I have a friend who is really wanting one for use here…you could send to family coming to China in early-August….let me know if that is a possibility.

Terry is being asked by some of the girls to help them with make-up advise, and is happy to share what she knows. They’re very kind and appreciate her time.

We met new Family at our Sunday discussions. They were told about our meeting and wanted to be a part….lots of enthusiasm and great singing. We sang some old favorites we’d not sung here yet…they knew most of them. It was good to meet them and look forward to other times together.

In an endearing way, we were called “old” for the first time yesterday, the comment coming around appreciation for “wisdom and experience.” We understood what was meant, but it did remind us that we are getting older (especially Terry, who just had her birthday …..and she is a little older than me).

Our Friday student discussion group treated us to lunch today…we had 11 there and tried some new Chinese dishes…most of them very good.

We were told that with most of the students gone, many of the small restaurants and grocery stores here at our front gate will be closed for the summer. We’ll find what we need…no problem…but it will not be as convenient. I guess we are a university town.

On a Skype session with Michael, Adona, and Louise, Terry was remembering our first two-room apartment 40 years ago…the kitchen was located along the wall in the hallway, under a set of stairs that went upstairs to the only bedroom. The kitchen we have now reminds her of that small, yet functional, place in our past. She is still a great cook.

We awoke today with temperatures in the 93 degree range, a heat index at 111, according to humidity readings. The temp will be close to 100 most of August, which is nothing new to us…we’ve lived in Tennessee and California during that month…and visited family in Texas.

It has become clear the past two days that both of our air conditioners cannot run at the same time…the electrical wiring in the apartment just won’t allow it. So-o-o, we moved our bed and desks into the same room (they barely fit) and we’re in the same situation we were in when we lived in a married housing apartment at MTSU 39.5 years ago.

Our one air conditioner wasn’t enough there, either, so we moved all of our furniture into one room. We have come full circle…and are grateful!! Our students have only their electric fans 😦   We are both pragmatic about life, so no big deal; once we saw things as they are going to be for the next few weeks. We will have close quarters when family visits in August for 10 days, but we love each other deeply and we’ll just have more time together…literally.

Terry was remembering a trip to City of Children in Mexico…hot there…the children had little relief…while the visitors got to go home to the “creature comforts.” We are grateful! Our approach to life for the past four decades is symbolized by a ‘salt shaker.’ We had brought some celery seed with us to China; we knew we could use it, but didn’t necessarily need a lot. When we finished it, we realized the container could be used for something else…realizing we had no salt shaker, well, it just made sense to use the container we already possessed.

Greetings from Terry: Last week Dean Catherine came over and asked me if I would consider spending some time with her ten year old nephew and a few friends working on their English pronunciation for the summer. We settled on twice a week for 1 ½ hours per session.

This Thursday, June 30 was the first session. They are four cute, enthusiastic, intelligent boys. Catherine’s teenage daughter sat in on the first half to be of help translation wise. They brought a text book with them and once we got started it went pretty well.

July 2 we celebrated our 40^th Wedding Anniversary and my birthday together with 15 students here in our apartment. Gary told of the bad “adventure” getting the cake. It was one of the best. But still can’t beat Kathe Addison’s wedding cake she used to make us in Mentor, Ohio for special occasions. Love, Terry.

We believe we are here for a reason: to reach out to the 18-23 year old university students in Jingzhou, sowing seeds of knowledge and understanding wherever possible. We know it will not return  to us void. We have the opportunity to teach the future leaders of China, and to be ‘stretched’ ourselves in the process. Your thoughts and support are deeply appreciated!  — Gary and Terry

Traveling Light….Divide the world into a rich one-third and a poor two-thirds. The rich one-third claims 87 percent of the gross world production each year. And the chasm between rich and poor is widening. In the United States, the average energy usage per person is twice that of persons in West Germany or England. It is 350 times that of the average Ethiopian.

Our average food consumption is five times that of persons in the developing countries. Our beef consumption; for example, increased from 55 pounds per person in 1940 to 136 pounds per person in 1992. (The amount have only increased as time has passed by).

We are an affluent society. Imagine the impression one of our shopping malls might make on a visitor from a less developed part of the world. There are busy crowds who have the leisure to “shop around.” Advertisements offer suggestions for the “man who has everything.” Well dressed people look for new outfits.

People come to automobile show rooms looking for a new car with an extra touch of class. The television show room offers a TV with a sharper picture. What I believe would be amazing to this visitor is the insatiable appetite for buying by people who do not appear to be in need.

Our society, our economy, and our sense of self-esteem often seem to be built on discontent. Imagine what would happen if we were all to decide to keep the winter wardrobe and the car for an extra year, and that we love our home more than any house on the market.

Look through your favorite national magazine and notice how much of the magazine is composed of advertisements telling us that we lack something which is a necessity. The ad tells you your home would be far more presentable if only you would get a new, elegant living-room suite.

The style of last year’s suit has been changed; even though the suit is in good condition, it would be a sign that you are not “keeping up” if you wear last year’s style. Possessing things says something important to your friends. It tells them that you are doing well and keeping up with the latest trend’.

Have you noticed that yesterday’s luxuries are today’s necessities? The result is that most of us now have “needs” we did not know we had until a few years ago. Let’s raise a serious question about all this, consumption. Is it really worth it to go on keeping up when we seem never to be satisfied with what we have?

The Price We Pay. Soren Kierkegaard told a parable about a wild dove in the forest. The wild dove lived near a farmer’s house where there were some tame doves. The wild dove, which each day had to gather its own food, met one day with its relatives. The tame doves told how their needs were totally taken care of, and how each day the farmer provided them with food. The wild dove had never thought of itself as unfortunate until now. It had always trusted that its needs would be met in the forest. Now it was dissatisfied. The wild dove decided to slip into the farmer’s barn through an opening. Never again would it have to find its own food.

The plan worked beautifully. But when the farmer came the next morning, he recognized the new dove immediately. He put it in a little box by itself until the next day, when it was killed-free from all anxiety for the necessities of life. We pay a big price with our discontent. If only the wild dove, which had always been provided for, had not been lured by its dissatisfaction to destroy itself!

I think of families I have known, and the price many of them have paid for their discontent. They bought new clothes when the style changed. They moved with each new raise. But there were pressures which went with all of the consuming. The father took a second job; the mother took her first. All of those purchases which they could not resist led ,to a dreadful pace of life. The children grew up almost by themselves. The parents seldom saw each other. When “I think of them, I think of my enjoyment of a relaxed Saturday afternoon or holiday-which they seldom have.

Our society also pays for this consumption. Unstable home situations have an impact on schools. Families which have no time together leave us with unstable individuals who become a burden for others.

There is the price we pay when our throw-away mentality causes us to contaminate the place where we live with plastics, pollutants, and wastes-the 7 million junked cars each year, the 26 billion bottles, the 48 billion metal cans.

I doubt if any reasonable person believes that we can go on consuming indiscriminately forever. It appears to be an unavoidable fact that if we do not change our lifestyle and live on less, these changes will be forced on us. In The Limits to Growth, an international team of experts predicted that we will run out of many basic minerals and fuels early in the next century if we go on using resources as we have been. As we run out of those fuels and minerals, their prices will become higher and this style of life will become increasingly difficult to maintain. There will be a time when there are no more trees to cut, no more oil to pump, and no more natural resources to exploit.

A few years ago E. F. Schumacher wrote a provocative little book entitled Small Is Beautiful. He argued that our compulsive consumption is rooted in a spiritual crisis that afflicts the affluent society. Someone else has said that our discontent is caused by a basic boredom with life, a boredom that comes from having no other goals worth pursuing. Schumacher suggested that the only answer to this style of life is to be found in recovering spiritual roots that will help us overcome this discontent.

Traveling Light—We all know times when the Master gave advise for traveling light…”take no bag for your journey, nor two tunics, nor sandals, nor a staff- for the laborer deserves his food.”

His advice was to “travel light.” He knew that a great many possessions would be like a weight to slow them down. Perhaps taking every kind of provision would take away their trust. We can easily be imprisoned by the things we own. What we possess then possesses us.

The soldier knows that the cause he fights for is too important to allow him to be burdened by things he carries along. Pioneers never have the luxury of taking with them huge wardrobes; they have to select carefully.

We also learn that our lives are a kind of pilgrimage toward the Ultimate Goal. We dare not take on any burdens that will interfere with that pilgrimage.

To travel light does not mean abandoning all ‘things’ and retiring to the desert. But it does mean not being so burdened by them that we cannot carry on the mission for which we have been sent.

A nineteenth-century story from Kierkegaard again illustrates this point. A prosperous man, on a dark but starlit night, drives comfortably with the lanterns of his carriage shining brightly. As he goes along he is safe; he fears no difficulty.

Because he carries his light with him wherever he goes, it is never dark in his presence. Yet because he has those strong lights close to him, he cannot see the stars. The poor peasant driving without lights can see the beautiful stars.

So we may become occupied with the necessities of life. In our prosperity and good days, everything is so satisfactory, so pleasant, so comfortable. But the view is lacking-the view of the stars. If we seek only the glittering lights of the shopping mall,  we will never see the stars.

We who have a mission can indeed travel light. (Borrowed from Harold Hazelip)

China News of Interest — Foreigners in Changsha who can’t speak Chinese should find it easier now getting help when in trouble as the city’s police have launched a multilingual emergency call service.

The service was launched on Friday and, according to the Changsha Public Security Bureau, the city’s 110 emergency center has eight volunteers offering translation services in English, German, Korean and Japanese.

According to the bureau, the emergency call center has received a growing number of calls from foreigners in recent years. In 2010, the 110 center received 67 calls from foreigners, a third of whom could not speak Chinese.

For those who did speak in Chinese, quite a number of them were hardly able to make themselves understood, the bureau said.

Interesting goal here — Whether China will reach its goal of spending 4 percent of its GDP on education by 2012 will depend on whether the central government can get its policy implemented to the letter at the local level.

The latest document issued by the State Council on Friday introduced new measures to meet the target set by the guidelines for education reform and development published last year. They include apportioning a larger share of local and central level taxes and 10 percent of revenue from land sales to education.

This is undoubtedly a significant move by the central government and is more than necessary given the fact the input for education dropped from 3.59 percent of GDP in 2009 to 3.57 percent in 2010.

Despite the 20 percent average increase in expenditure on education from 2001 to 2010, its percentage in the country’s total GDP is still not high enough. As early as 1993, the central government put forward the goal of increasing education spending to 4 percent of its GDP by the year 2000.

Summer camps in the US are the latest strategy for Chinese parents plotting a better future for their children. This year, more than 60,000 children will fly off for an immersion program that may, or may not, test their suitability for college abroad.

For around $5,000 or roughly 32,500 yuan, kids are flying across the Pacific for an opportunity to play sports with US students, attend summer classes, and most importantly, speak English.

They will be joining American summer camps, a mid-year ritual for many children in the United States, but still something for the privileged few in China. After two consecutive years at China-based summer camps, Lou Yong’s 13-year-old son, Tim, will take the experience to the next level by spending four weeks in Baltimore, USA. “I hope to enrich his summer vacation and let him experience different activities which he is interested in, but are not available at the local schools,” says Yong.

“American summer camps are a good complement to Chinese-style education. Chinese-style education focuses on academic achievement, while American-style camps allow the students to improve their overall abilities. If the child wants to study abroad in future, an American camp can help them make some adjustments beforehand,” she says.

Alex Abraham, the general manager of Blue Sky Study, a Shanghai-based overseas education consultancy, also sees the camps as a way of easing a child into a culture that he or she will most likely be a part of when they join the other Chinese undergraduates in the US.

The number of students going abroad does not appear to be dropping soon so, for those who can afford it, summer camps give them a head-start. “For parents who would one day like their child to study in the US full-time, it is a great way to introduce a foreign country to a young student,” Abraham says.

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Terry pics; school poster; 90th ‘Party; Last days in class; Campus/China scenes

Happy Birthday, TJ; 39…Again!

In the excitement of thinking about our coming celebration of the 40th wedding anniversary July 2, I remembered that the present Terry received on her July 5th birthday in 1971…was me!

We will celebrate her 39th birthday again, this time in China, but very low-key, since it is mixed in with our nation’s birthday on the 4th, as well. We did invite 15 of our students over for a piece of delicious chocolate cake with chocolate icing, from the bakery across from our front gate.

On our 35th anniversary, children couldn’t understand how we had been married that long when TJ was only 39! That’s easy: we got married when she was four!

She IS one amazing woman. The first weekday after her classes ended, she got into her ‘usual 20-minute routine,’ which I have marveled at since our first week of marriage. She works hard for 20 minutes several times a day, getting some of those ‘dirty jobs’ off her perpetual list.

It’s usually something to do with working hard on her knees scrubbing somewhere most people don’t want to think about even going. I call her ‘my little beaver,’ always busy, busy, busy. Her favorite expression during this time? Perpetual maintenance! 🙂

I’m working on transferring some of my POSB and Wisdom books to my kindle, so they can be ready for re-reading these next few months.

We’ve had trouble finding ripe peaches, despite the fact there are peach orchards aplenty in our area. It seems the tradition here is to pick them when they are barely ripe (not at all soft and   sweet). Understandable if they are being shipped far away, maybe…but where are the ripe ones? Watermelon, though, is outstanding…as we have found with apples, grapes, and bananas!

We found out that university students here know what a ‘yard sale’ is…many of the students had displays set up outside their dorms to sale different items from their rooms, which they did not want to take home for the summer. They seemed to have a good business…lots of crowds looking.

We just got back from our first 90-minute trip to the larger grocery store since it became more hot and humid…good to get home, where I told Terry “I plan to stay till the end of the month.” (it was June 22).

I am not sure I should ever get use to young children riding electric scooters with no helmets or belts holding them on, while mom or dad make their way through the hectic traffic. Many times there are two children ‘holding on for dear life.’

We were asked over and over one day last week if we were going to be at the ‘party’ on our campus at 7:30 p.m.? Graduation ceremonies had been taking place for two days, the students were having special class parties, etc., so we thought it was a celebration for the end of our school.

Well-l-l-l-l, we walked down the avenue from our apartment, about 100 yards, and saw the largest crowd we’d seen since coming, and found out very quickly it was a ‘party’ for the 90th anniversary of China’s Communist Party. We stayed long enough to see what it was about and left…wondering if anyone took pictures of the foreigners in attendance. 🙂

We had several students over after lunch today, and I walked out to the front gate with them and went to the bakery to order the chocolate birthday cake for next weekend.

They helped me communicate clearly with the bakery staff, and it will be delivered safely next week. I will report on our birthday party for TJ next weekend, with pictures, of course, as we send out the last newsletter of this semester. We will be busy with language classes after that and likely will have little English to share for a few weeks. 🙂

We received great advice from ‘Mama’ Bass during our MTCC days, about “don’t start something you can’t finish” when working with college-age students. It has served us well here, since we’re beginning what we want to be long-term relationships with our first classes.

We can see weekly times when students will be here studying, cooking, eating, discussions, and watching movies, etc. We plan to set times just for TJ and me, and, of course, we’ll be preparing lesson plans for our next 550+ students in the fall. It is kind of exciting having another group brought into our lives each semester…nice that we don’t have to move to get more interested folks.

Terry has been asked to consider teaching 3-4 primary school-age children English this summer, twice a week for around 90 minutes each session. It is in the early phases, but she is excited for the opportunity to reach out to others in the area. The idea originated from the dean of our English department, who lives above us in the apartment (more info to come as it reveals itself).

Greetings from Terry: Since my schedule is clearer for the summer I am taking on the project of keeping our stairwell swept; a little at a time (perpetual maintenance theory and all that). It will help keep down the dust tracked in. I’m also scrubbing down the tile walls in the bathroom and kitchen.

Gary has been busy having fun with his own chosen projects on the computer with his studies and files.

I have just finished reading The Screwtape Letters again and am in the midst of True North. They make very good companion books when read at the same time.

We had two new ones at the discussions this week. One of my classes invited us to their end of year party on the West campus. They had decorated the class room with streamers and balloons, handed out sunflower seeds, candy and bottled water, played a few games and performed skits (one completely in English) and songs. It was fun to see them in action.

I have not heard so many words from them the whole semester. They are clever and fun to be with. I will miss them. You could tell they were very happy we accepted their invitation. This is the class that gave us the photo album. We got to meet their Chinese teacher and share a taxi with her back to our campus when we left. She lives in our building on a different stairwell.

We got up and out early Wednesday morning trying to beat the heat on our way to the computer and grocery stores. The traffic was much heavier at that hour. We saw four traffic policemen at every busy intersection. Something we have not seen before.

It took us a little longer in transit but it was still better than going in the afternoon. All in all it was a productive trip. We were glad that we had gotten back to our apartment in time to get cooled off before our electricity went off that evening. S-o-o-o thankful it came back on before bedtime.

Thursday, June 23^rd, we saw many of the graduates in caps and gowns getting their pictures taken on campus as we walked to dinner. Then as we came back things were set up on the badminton court for some kind of performance.

Someone asked us if we were coming to the party at 7:00 (we assumed a graduation celebration). So as we were walking up to the crowd we find out it is the Communist Party 90^th Anniversary celebration. Can you believe it? (assumptions get you in trouble.) We visited with a few people explaining our misunderstanding and left.

I love my little kitchen. Making biscuits today I felt like I was playing house. It is just big enough for the basics.

I got to watch Seth and Caleb Taylor for a little while Friday while Lisa got some last minute packing done. I enjoyed reading to them and building a tower with some boxes and styrofoam I had saved for just that purpose. They loaded and moved out Saturday morning.

We are missing our students so we called up six of them and met them for lunch today, then came back to the apartment and visited. Some worked on my jigsaw puzzle. They had never seen one before.

This week I have received two very good gifts. One, Gary helped get my grades onto the spreadsheet on the computer. He was very patient and helpful. Our processing speeds are different so it was truly a gift of love.

Two, when a neighbor offered to put a program on the computer to make it work faster (it works very slow most of the time), right away  we started getting very inappropriate pop up ads. Gary immediately said take off the program.

I am so-o-o glad he didn’t even hesitate. That is what I would expect but I am still very thankful. The “shield” really works. It extinguished another fiery dart. I feel like the little pig that lit a fire under the chimney so the big bad wolf wouldn’t get in.

Believe me, I would rather have these kind of gifts any day. Gary is and always has been a great gift giver of this type and I fall in love with him all over again each time I receive one. — Love, Terry.

A Healthy Self-Esteem

I am thankful that, except for some time as a teenager, I have been ‘comfortable in my own skin.’ It has been helpful in China, where many eyes are constantly on the foreigner.

The acne-inflicted teenager had some tough moments, but athletics and the chance to develop my writing interests as a senior in high school helped me move past much of those self-doubts.

Josh McDowell tells us that “a healthy self-image is seeing yourself as the Father sees you—no more and no less.” That seemed good enough for me!

Others have spoken authoritatively on the subject:

He who is able to love himself is able to love others also; he who has learned to overcome self-contempt has overcome his contempt for others. — Paul Johannes Oskar Tillich.

I am as my Creator made me, and since he is satisfied, so am I. — Minnie Smith.

Building self-esteem is a hard and slow process. But it is not an impossible one. Self-esteem is how you feel about being you, how you feel about being alive. It results from an evaluation of your self-image, how you feel about the way you see yourself. It is influenced by the distance between your self-image and your ideal image.

For example: you can see yourself as being of average intelligence, feel all right about it, and experience high self-esteem. Or you can feel badly about it and experience low self-esteem. You can feel worthy or unworthy, competent or incompetent, significant or insignificant, valuable or worthless, hopeful or hopeless, truthful or deceptive, confident or fearful, withdrawn or sociable, preoccupied or spontaneous.

You may be preoccupied with self, feel unloved, overly sensitive to criticism or open to a healthy interaction with others. Self-esteem has an evaluative element: how do you feel about the way you see yourself?

A person with good self-esteem has a sense of self-worth, yet recognizes his/her limitations. Such a person is not conceited but rather is glad to be themselves. They accept themselves and others but are desirous of correcting their own shortcomings.

They are problem-centered, not self-centered: they appreciate the simple things of life, are ethical, able to discriminate between means and ends; they get along in their culture yet resist enculturation and have a genuine desire to help the human race.

Self-esteem can be classified into two divisions: basic self-esteem and functional self-esteem. Basic self-esteem is established in childhood, is hard but not impossible to change; whereas functional self-esteem is derived from daily experiences and changes more readily.

To build self-esteem, you need to know its roots. Parents probably have the greatest influence on self-esteem. Positive reinforcement and acceptance teaches children to value themselves.

Healthy self-esteem in MEN is thought to be derived to some extent from vocations, intelligence, wealth, achievements, education, positions of power, and competition.

FEMALE self-esteem results more from the achievement of goals, self and body image, education, money, everyday concerns, and family relationships.

Both sexes are usually affected by their view of how they are evaluated by significant others in their lives.

Self-esteem in children — Family strengths are so important that they can often overcome social rejection. For this to happen, parents must have definite values, a clear idea of what they perceive as appropriate behavior, and be able and willing to present and enforce their beliefs that self-esteem is highly influenced by personal beliefs about who we are.

We are worthwhile because of our creator. If we are worthwhile, then we have good reason to have good self-esteem. Our self-esteem is not a selfish sort of thing but is rooted in our Creator. He made us worthwhile!

Guidelines for parents in developing self-esteem

Try to improve your own mental health. In dealing with your children, you teach more by what you are than by what you say. Ask yourself such questions: Since I am accepted, why can’t I accept myself? Since I forgive others, why can’t I forgive myself? Am I easy to be around? Perhaps there is something in me that is worthwhile.

If you are married, establish a healthy marriage. Unhealthy marriages develop unhealthy patterns of interaction in your home which affect your children. If your family ‘health’ us not the very best, get some help in making it so. It isn’t a sign of weakness to see your own faults and to try to overcome them…rather, it’s a sign of maturity and strength! Weak people try to avoid such reality.

Provide for your family’s needs: physical, emotional, psychological, social and spiritual.

Spend much time with your family. You as a parent are often not only busy but tired and need rest yourself. Your children must be a priority, especially while they are young. Eat as many meals as possible (that means sitting down together at one place and talking, sharing, caring…and no food fights…eating everything on the plate isn’t really that important, is it?). No distractions should normally be allowed, such as watching TV or listening to music!

Teach them proper values. Children will pick up your values; if they see your emphasis for money and prestige, they will value those things, too. What is important to you will be important to them, unless they are eventually taught by someone is a role model position that counteracts your actions.

Let your children be children. Focus upon strengths rather than weaknesses. Be realistic, but recognize strengths. Morris Rosenberg in Society and the Adolescent Self-Image found that high self-esteem children tend to have mothers who are satisfied with average or below average performance. This may appear to go against the grain, but pushing our children to hard is more harmful.

The key: don’t create unrealistic expectations for them. We should help them overcome setbacks and compete in honest ways. We should provide encouragement and support in all efforts they choose…but keep first things first in all things!

Discipline your children with love. Set certain limits and enforce them but don’t over-do it. Be HIGH in love and standards.

Some other items? Encourage achievement in school: motivate, help, maximize his/her potential, yet accept them for that they are and not for what you wish them to be.

Try to avoid over-protection and dependence. Explain changes that will occur at puberty. Forgive them.

Don’t be partial to one child over another. Realize they are different! Learn to show affection. Help them to belong.

They are important to you…make certain they clearly see and understand that, by your words and actions.

Help them to develop a strong faith in God, the source of our true value.

Adolescents need attention and they will find a way to get it. It IS easier to get negative attention than positive attention: the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Teens often ask “why not” to get you as a parent to change your mind. They really are not wanting to know. They are just wanting you to acquiesce. You as a parent have a right to say “no” because you are “uncomfortable saying yes.”

Adult self-esteem

Accept personal responsibility for your own low self-esteem. Our past and the present influence you, but you are a creative factor in the formation of your own thoughts, actions, and feelings. If you do not take such responsibility, you will never change. You can choose to perceive the past differently!

Restructure your thinking. You are what you think about. You can choose to have a good day, every day, all day. It happens during those first few minutes when you awake each morning.

People who are down on themselves tend to make many thinking mistakes:

They over generalize. From one mistake, they conclude that they can’t do anything right.

They eternalize. From one failure, they conclude that they will never do anything right.

They personalize. They are too absorbed with themselves. They inappropriately apply comments and criticism from others to themselves: “They are all talking about me.” They blame themselves too much: “Others had nothing to do with it, circumstances had nothing to do with it, I caused it all. I am completely to blame.”

They catastrophize. What they do is the worst thing that has ever been done: If you only knew what I did, you would not want me in your group or to be your friend.”

They filter. Many positive things may have happened to them, yet they do not see them. They filter them out. Their whole world is thus negative.

They neutralize. If they see positive things in their lives, they negate them: “He doesn’t really like me. He just needed a date.” “My husband doesn’t really like me, he just wants a woman. Any woman.” We can make anyone look bad by filtering out his/her good points or by concentrating on his/her bad points.

They absolutize. Everything becomes a must. “People must like me, life must be easy, and I must be competent. If not, I am worthless and life is not worth living.” We must make a distinction between desire and demand: It would be nice if everyone liked me, but it is not necessary. Persons with low self-esteem often jump to conclusions without adequate evidence.

They dictomize. Everything is either black or white: there is no gray. Such persons are often very perfectionist. Their way is always the right way about everything. Their opinions are always the truth.

They self destruct. They set up negative self-fulfilling prophecies: “No one likes me.” So when a person does like them, they are suspicious and uncomfortable, which causes them to send out negative signals, which causes the other person to “back off.”

When they back off, the person says to himself or herself: “I was right. No one likes me.” It seems impossible for a person with low self-esteem to feel loved.

Love is something you do

We listened to a Bruce McLarty lesson on Love, with the electricity off in the apartment on a hot day for the second time. He quoted the words of Clint Black’s song, which we’d never heard before:

“I remember well the day we wed. I can see that picture in my head. I still believe the words we said. Forever will ring true. Love is certain, love is kind. Love is yours and love is mine. But it isn’t something that we find, It’s something that we do.

It’s holding tight, lettin’ go. It’s flying high and laying low. Let your strongest feelings show, and your weakness, too. It’s a little and a lot to ask. An endless and a welcome task. Love isn’t something that we have, it’s something that we do.

We help to make each other all that we can be. Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently. The way we work together is what sets our love apart. So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start. It gives me heart remembering how we started with a simple vow. There’s so much to look back on now, Still it feels brand-new. We’re on a road that has no end And each day we begin again. Love’s not just something that we’re in. It’s something that we do.

We help to make each other all that we can be Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently. The way we work together is what sets our love apart So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start. Love is wide, love is long. Love is deep and love is strong. Love is why I love this song. And I hope you love it too.

I remember well the day we wed I can see that picture in my head. Love isn’t just those words we said. It’s something that we do. There’s no request too big or small. We give ourselves, we give our all Love isn’t someplace that we fall. It’s something that we do. Amen!

Points for Party to ponder: A recent Ministry of Education survey shows that almost 80 percent of college students are willing to join the Communist Party of China (CPC). This will be a tremendous boost for the CPC, preparing to celebrate its 90th anniversary on July 1.The survey, which covered 25,000 students in 140 institutions of higher education, was conducted professionally and should reflect the true state of mind on college campuses today.

The study, 20th of its kind and published early this month, reveals very high approval ratings for major national achievements attributable to the CPC and an unusual optimism about what it will deliver. Nothing could have made a better birthday gift for the Party. With an overwhelming majority of the country’s young elites on its side, the world’s largest political party can rest assured of its impact on younger members of society.

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Father’s Day; China scenes/educational books, class party; Wuhan rain

What are you doing on your summer break?

What are you going to do this summer, during your break from teaching oral English to 260+ college students each per semester? A good question we have been asked many times in recent days.

Terry and I have hired two of my students, who will spend two 90-minute sessions weekly with us, to learn Mandarin, the English word for Chinese. We will be using a highly recommended book Chinese Made Easier by Martin Symonds and Tian Haohao. We ordered book 1, 2, and 3 in anticipation of several months/years of work ahead. It’s published by a university in China, has clear instructions, pronunciation exercises, and regular conversation practice…we’ll even try to learn the Chinese characters, little by little.

I also downloaded a Word edition of A Dream of Red Mansions, a Chinese classic in excess of 1,500 pages. With the simple conversion program provided free through Amazon, I have it on my kindle for daily enjoyment, though we’ve been warned that there are “many characters to follow and it is very tedious.” (I like the challenge).

Terry is working on another classic, Journey to the West by Wu-Cheng en….also on her kindle and over 1,400 pages and 100 chapters in length.

We have thoroughly enjoyed these last days, when our students have their final via a 3-6 minute speech, allowing us to test their English skills and ability to put thoughts together, intonation, and pronunciation. They work really hard, and we’re rewarding them with good grades. 🙂

We were told a few weeks back when our classes ended, and found out two days before the final week that we’d been told the wrong date. It means our freshman classes had one week, instead of two, to complete those speeches.

Since Terry and I have some classes with 50+ students, it means coming early and staying late to accomplish it. One of my classes came 85 minutes early! I entered the classroom  at 2:47 p.m. for a normal 4:05 start…and they had big smiles on their faces and were ready to go to work.

One of my class monitors invited me to a breakfast (local restaurant before 8 a.m. start) of Chinese dumplings. They were delicious, especially dipped in spaghetti sauce the next day for lunch.Our monitors are a big help to us each week, and she wanted to ‘treat me’ since it was our last day…a really nice gesture.

I am remembering advise given to Eric a few years back when he went into youth work: “remember that you will mature by leaps and bounds yearly while the students will always be the same maturity age (since they graduate and move on as seniors).” We’re realizing that, while we will grow older physically, we will have 18-23 year olds around us constantly, which should help keep us young at heart, anyway.

We are beginning a weekly discussion group on “The Good Life” from one of the Wisdom Book for fellow teachers who are in town this summer…should have 5-6 attend and I expect lively dialogue. Really looking forward to it.

We realized just today that we haven’t mentioned a unique grouping of the university students: they assign them to a group of 25-55 with the same major…and they attend every class from their freshman-thru-junior year together. That’s right…they are together for three years. A great way to bond and make great friends, unless you just do not ‘fit’ with the group.

Terry and I realized on Father’s Day weekend that this is the first year without Batsell, due to his death last summer. We talk about both of our dads a lot here, knowing they would ‘fit right in’ to our circumstances. (see photos in their honor)

We attended one of the class parties this weekend and enjoyed seeing their personalities and enjoying ‘good clean fun’ with their friends. They treated the teachers there as special guests. We told them to do exactly what they had planned, especially to speak in Chinese, if they wanted…we didn’t understand some of their words, songs, or skits, but it was great fun! We are looking forward to having these students on the Central campus next semester.

Greetings from Terry: Mom and Dad would really like the food here; the fresh vegetables, nuts, fruits, easy preparation and easy clean up, especially Dad.

That’s the way he had cooked and eaten for the past several years. I was thinking today, not only would he have loved all of the walking and stair climbing he would have loved the English Corner experience.

Mother would fit right in with the Chinese concept of gardening in flower pots on the window sills and using every inch outside for vegetables. She has been doing that for many years and has been very successful at it. I would love to have her with us but with our class load and other details it just isn’t practical.

A first time student at our discussion group brought us some dates and almonds. I have really enjoyed the treat.

This week we took Ron and Evelyn McFarland to lunch to say “Thank you” and “Good bye” before they leave for home and new adventures. We will miss them and their many helps and encouragements. Their work will continue reaping for many years.

In many of our student’s final speeches Gary and I have both heard the same acronym; FAMILY:  Father And Mother I Love You. I think it is worth remembering.

I have come to a realization that I am a unique kind of tourist. (Not weird, just unique.) Yes, I love to travel, but no, I do not enjoy or need to visit all the relics of the past or the posh tourist venues.

Instead I love getting down with the real, local people of the present and seeing life from their perspective. But I must admit that this sifting of different cultures does require a certain amount of “selective” vision, hearing and smelling, if you get my drift. (smile) But the faces and hearts you encounter in the process make it all worthwhile. To me that is walking in His footsteps. — Love, Terry.

Just For Today (shared by one of my Speaking Skills students; these students think positively and also ‘keep their head on straight.’  We are very impressed with their values. — Gary)

“Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: ‘Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.’ Happiness comes from within; it is not a matter of externals.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests: hurrying and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour by myself and relax. In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.“— by Sybil Partridge

Things to remember when we’re treated unfairly

How do you react when someone treats you unfairly? Let’s say someone double crosses you or cheats you. Maybe someone lies about you and your reputation is damaged. Perhaps your boss chews you out for something you know you didn’t do or singles you out because he doesn’t like what you stand for. What is your typical response?

Do you…retreat into a depression? Withdraw from human interaction? Look for a way to get even? Vow that you’ll never do anything nice for anyone again? Cheat the next guy down the line because you conclude that it’s a dog-eat-dog world?

Become so cynical about the world that you no longer enjoy life? These responses are all too common.

The first thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is that this life isn’t fair. I suppose some of you might think it is redundant for me to say that, but it never ceases to amaze me that so many get so upset when things don’t come out even.

Whoever said that this life was fair, anyway? I’m not aware of anything that guarantees all things working out.

Yet, it bugs us, doesn’t it? It bugs me! The bad guy sometimes wins. The criminal gets off Scot-free. The ladder climber who steps on everyone in his path gets the penthouse. The politician lies and gets away with it because the economy is good.

I’m not suggesting here that we shouldn’t do whatever we can when we can to make things right. I’m simply saying that sometimes making things even is beyond what we can do. At that point, so that we don’t go insane at the unbalanced nature of it all, we need to remember that it’s not always going to be fair.

I’m not recommending defeatism or fatalism. I’m simply trying to be realistic. Don’t set your expectations too high. In this life, no matter how you live or what you do, life isn’t always going to be fair.

The second thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is that what happens in you is more important than what happens to you. Things are going to happen in this life that we are powerless to change. We usually cannot rearrange someone else’s behavior toward us, nor can we undo the moments in which someone has hurt us. Maybe it can be prevented next time, but once it has happened, it has happened. There is no backing up.

If we keep reliving the unhappy moment and devote endless hours to appealing the verdict of a wrongdoing in our minds, we will be left spent and miserable. Though it is sometimes hard to see, time passed in the courtroom of our mind trying the case over and over is really time wasted. Even though we’re sure the verdict is guilty, there is usually no way to bring about justice in this life without becoming guilty ourselves.

Suppose you hold a glass of water as you walk towards me. I carelessly (or deliberately) bump into you. Whatever you have in the glass will probably spill out.

That is the way our lives are. When we are bumped, whatever is inside comes out. For most of us, an injustice done to us personally is a very jarring bump. Sadly, it is disgraceful sometimes the things that spill out.

What happens in you is far more important than what happens to you.

The third thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is others are watching to see what you will do. There is more happening when an injustice is done to us than just the unpleasantness of the moment. People want to know if our ‘walk and talk’ agree. Am I a person who wants to do what is best toward others, or one who will do it, no matter what is involved?

The fourth thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is that you must not bow to bitterness.

All of us need to set some standards for ourselves. We need to draw the line in the sand and say, “Beyond this point I will not go – not for comfort – not for security – not for revenge – not for anything!

A doctor told a man that he had rabies. Upon hearing the diagnosis, he took out a piece of paper and started writing on it. The doctor thought, “Oh, he must be making up his will,” so he asked, “What are you doing, making up your will?” The man said, “No, I’m just writing down every person I’m going to bite.”

Sadly, that is how some folks handle injustice. They are so bitter that they bite everyone else around them. We must never bow to bitterness.

The fifth thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is that what you do is more important than how you feel. Our behavior is determined by the values we have, and we’re guided by sayings from the most important book of  ill.

It isn’t particularly difficult to figure out what these say we must do. The difficult part is our feelings, isn’t it? Why is it so hard…

• To get on our knees on behalf of that person whose carelessness or neglect caused us so much pain?
• To go down to the store and buy a gift and send it to that person whom we know must hate us
• To say something that blesses them rather than cursing them under our breath?

The answer is simple. Every feeling in our bodies is screaming that it isn’t right!

Ah! We’ve come to an important crossroad in this matter. We’ve come to the place where we learn whether we’re serious about our values or not.

Many of us have yet to learn this very important part of our values. Doing the right thing isn’t always the thing that makes us feel good at the moment. Actions lead, feelings follow.

Good feelings that result from our doing right usually come after the act, not before. If we wait around in the beginning, hoping to get our feelings to go along with our actions, we’ll seldom do what is right.

How about it?  Are you returning good for evil? Are you turning the other cheek when it is appropriate? Are you walking the second mile? Are you praying for that person who has hurt you so?

Are you allowing whatever blessings you have in your life to Chfall on the just and the unjust, or are you selective, based on the records you’ve kept of wrongs done against you? Are you blessing rather than cursing? (The word “bless” in this case means literally, “to speak well of.”)

“But I don’t feel like it!” Welcome to the world of doing what is right. It’s that way for all of us.

 The sixth thing to remember when you have been treated unfairly is that you are still the bigger debtor. My friends, no matter whom might wrong us, we are still the bigger debtor. We always will be. So much has been done for us; we could never catch up, and forget about getting ahead!

A certain tenant farmer had worked hard for many years to improve the production of the land he leased. Then something happened that caused him to become very bitter.

When it was time to renew his lease, the owner told him he was going to sell the farm to his son who was getting married. The tenant made several generous offers to buy it himself, hoping the man’s decision would be reversed, but his pleading got nowhere.

As the day drew near for the farmer to vacate his home, his weeks of angry brooding finally got the best of him. He gathered seeds from some of the most pesky and noxious weeds he could find. Then he spent many hours scattering them on the clean, fertile soil of the farm, along with a lot of trash and rocks he had collected.

To his dismay, the very next morning the owner informed him that plans for his son’s wedding had fallen through, and therefore he would be happy to renew the lease. He couldn’t understand why the farmer exclaimed in agonizing tones, “What a fool I’ve been!”

Try as we might to even up the score when we’re treated unfairly, the result for us will be the same as it was for that tenant farmer. At the end, we’ll exclaim, “What a fool I’ve been!” — Gary

China Daily News: China’s hunger for luxury goods growing—China is continuing its march toward becoming the largest luxury market in the world. The nation is now seen as a second home to many of the world’s top brands, with everything from cars, handbags, watches, clothes and fine wines now sold in China.

Every year this market has grown more crowded, and it is becoming harder for luxury brands to tap into this market. The competition to grab a share of the Chinese wallet is immense now for luxury players. A new survey by KPMG titled, “Luxury experiences in China”, has highlighted the increasing brand recognition among Chinese consumers, at 57 brands this year compared with 45 last year.

Luxury brands are finding it increasingly difficult to find a niche and build market share. Amid rising competition, brands need to be innovative and explore new marketing avenues to stay ahead.

These findings are based on a survey of 1,200 consumers in 24 tier-one and tier-two cities across China, conducted by market research company TNS. Respondents were between 20-45 years of age, earning a minimum of 7,500 yuan (798.6 euros) per month in tier-one cities and 5,500 yuan elsewhere.

The survey also finds that China’s luxury buyers are basing their purchasing decisions on a wider range of factors. Consumers increasingly choose to reward or pamper themselves as opposed to seeking higher social status via their brand purchases. Emotive factors such as “experience” and “self-reward” have now emerged alongside status-seeking and needs-based factors as key drivers. They also continue to place a lot of importance on the heritage of luxury brands.

Inside China — The Chinese mainland and Taiwan will launch a pilot travel program on June 28 that will allow mainlanders to visit Taiwan as individual tourists, a Taiwan affairs official said Sunday.

Wang Yi, director of the State Council’s Taiwan Affairs Office, announced the plan during a conference held at the weeklong Straits Forum, which opened in the mainland’s coastal city of Xiamen on Saturday. Wang said the first phase of the program will apply to residents of the cities of Beijing, Shanghai and Xiamen, which is located in southeast China’s Fujian Province.

The two sides also agreed to give the green light to Fujian residents who wish to individually travel to Taiwan’s islands of Kinmen, Matsu and Penghu. The mainland and Taiwan have witnessed booming tourism in recent years after the two sides agreed to lift a ban on mainlanders’ traveling to Taiwan in July 2008.

The number of mainland tourists traveling to Taiwan in groups reached 930,000 in 2009 and shot up by 127 percent to hit 1.63 million in 2010, according to statistics from Taiwan tourism authorities.

Industry insiders estimate that the individual travel program will bring in 2 billion yuan ($307 million) in tourism revenues for Taiwan within half a year.

We believe we are here for a reason: to reach out to the 18-23 year old university students in Jingzhou, sowing seeds of knowledge and understanding wherever possible. We know it will not return  to us void. We have the opportunity to reach the future leaders of China, and to be ‘stretched’ ourselves in the process. Your thoughts and support are deeply appreciated!  — Gary and Terry

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Wedding anniversary and family pictures; entrance exams, prayer, parents; rice planted late due to drought; tennis champion

This newsletter will be a little different from the others…can’t hold in the excitement of our 40th wedding anniversary on July 2. The semester is almost over, we have a summer break, and some family is visiting in early August. We can hardly wait!

This time two years ago we had discussed taking a train from California to the Grand Canyon for a few days…to do ‘something different and exciting’ for our special event. Never imagined our Father would put us in China for the occasion! 🙂 His plans are always better!

I am one fortunate guy. I married the ‘love of my life’ and get to spend every day with her for the rest of my life.

She is my best friend! Perhaps the only one who could stand me for 2,080 weekends, 14,564 days, 349,525 hours, 20,971,440 minutes (exact at the moment this is being readied for publishing)…and counting!

She was in my parent’s thoughts since before our births, and in my deepest, most private utterances since the early teen years.

We announced to our families in June, 1972, that we planned to marry in September, after a summer of trying to save some money and making more definite plans.

We ended up moving the wedding up on nine days notice, figuring we wouldn’t have that much more money, and it would give us more time to prepare for our last year of school at MTSU.

I would marry her all over again…and do it exactly the same way (maybe we should give Adona more notice)! It’s tempting to suggest that I am one lucky guy, except that it was more than luck that we found each other when we did. Too many things simply had to be worked out by Father!

We had both separately felt as if we were not going to find that special person…Terry in Nashville and me in Murfreesboro. She had no idea there was a university there…never heard of it.

The first time I saw her, I was jealous another perfect stranger was talking to her.

Norman Douglas said “to find a friend one must close one eye; to keep them, two.” That might be one way TJ looks at me? It is true that a friend is one who knows all about you and likes you just the same. Terry is my friend, one who knows me as I am, understands where I’ve been, accepts who I’ve become, and still, gently invites me to grow. She is one who makes me be my best.

She has a special quotation: “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

Our marriage is a series of successive surprises. Our life has been filled with adventure after adventure. And they continue!

The king of the comics, as far    As I’m concerned, is still Peanuts by Charles Schulz. I love Linus, Lucy, Schroeder, Piggen, the little red-haired girl, and Charlie Brown. There’s a ring of reality to their relationships.

One sequence comes to mind. Linus has just written a comic strip of his own, and he wants Lucy’s opinion. In the first frame, he tentatively hands Lucy his comic strip and  says, “Lucy, would you read this and tell me if you think it is funny?”

In the next frame, you see Lucy patting her foot, and a little bit of a grin comes across her face. She looks at Linus and says, “Well, Linus, who wrote this?”

Linus with his chest heaved out and a great big grin says, “Lucy, I wrote that.”

In the next frame, you see Lucy wadding it up, throwing it to the side, and saying, “Well, then, I don’t think it’s very funny.”

In the final frame, you see Linus picking up his comic strip, throwing his blanket over his shoulder, looking at Lucy and saying, “Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.”

We find that humorous. I  dare say if you and I thought long and hard enough, we’d remember being the crab grass in the lawn of somebody else’s life. None of us wants to be a loser.

None of us wants to be a source of discouragement. And yet, if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves being more pessimistic than optimistic, more discouraging than encouraging.

As Terry says often, “the best vitamin for making friends: B1.”

We experienced first-hand what our students go through every day…we were without electricity in our apartment and it was quickly close to 85 degrees inside. Terry had no classes, while I had one morning class. The heat was bad enough…was even worse that we could not get anything accomplished…no electricity meant no clothes washed, no food warmed up, and no internet.

We had some confusion about when our classes end. It is based on majors, it seems, and we were told we had two more weeks…then found out on Saturday we had one more week. We did not mind, of course, that it was one week less than we had been told, but it was a little confusing getting everything completed, since we thought we had two weeks. We will manage to work it out. 🙂

My students have been so gracious as we finish up the semester and move toward finals, expressing their appreciation that we were willing “to leave our home and family and come to their country to help them improve their English.”

I will not have my junior speaking skills students in any more classes, and it’s likely they will be “out of here” quickly, as they begin  pursuing other educational goals. I have been the one blessed by their willingness to work, interest, enthusiasm and kindness…except for 3-4 of the 146 students who missed several classes…caught two cheating on a final project 🙂

I have received very positive reinforcement to our showing of Fireproof  to some of these students. We plan to make it part of our apartment ‘movie night’ for more next semester.

Even as we wind down our weekly discussions, we had a new English teacher attend this week…that’s five who have been a part of at least one session.

I said several years ago, when we began attending lectureships in Searcy, that is was “the only place I know that seems to appreciate the wisdom and experience older men can give,” due to the gray-haired teachers working there. They were so professional, with a ready smile and willingness to speak and answer any question of anyone, it seemed.

I was made to ‘feel my age’ when some students recalled in speeches this week seeing me for the first time, with “my white hair and large computer bag” on the first day of classes. They said it as a compliment and a pleasant memory and offered enthusiastic appreciation for us “leaving family and America and coming so far to help them learn English.”

I got my third Chinese haircut today and it seemed that many of the men in the shop were having someone “paint their hair” black. 🙂

Greetings from Terry: The new cuckoo clock we thought our neighbors had turns out to be the real thing. I haven’t laid eyes on it yet, but it is a real bird. Gary and I hear it from different directions when I am in the kitchen during the mornings.

Friday evening the discussion group stayed and watched The Ultimate Gifts with us. We had pop corn and Pepsi. It was so much fun. I like movies and sharing them with others makes it even more fun.

Hope we can have more “movie nights” next semester. They can practice their English, learn American culture and it opens more topics for discussion.

We had four of my students over for lunch last Saturday. After meeting them at the front gate, we ordered food and took it back to the apartment, where we had a leisure visit while we ate.

The students gave me a very nice photo album with a few pictures of themselves and their classmates this semester. It was very thoughtful of them.

I will be very interested in what becomes of these students in the future, where they will go and what they will accomplish. There is a plan for their lives; of that I am sure.

I encouraged the class monitor, who is a natural leader, to make wise choices and be careful where he leads. I am so glad we will be able to see these students on this campus next year as sophomores. Gary may even have some in his classes, since he wants to teach mostly on the Central campus.

After many days of labor, two of the graduate students that come for discussions turned in their dissertation papers. We called and rejoiced with them over the phone and invited them over for a bowl of orange Jello and Chinese cookies. Now the hard part of finding a job begins. I am glad they will be close by for about a month. We are still cultivating, planting and watering

I finished the book Forgiveness by Gary Inrig. It is a thought-provoking book we have both  read…and recommend to others.

“We love our crazy job.” Love, Terry.

Chinese high school students prepare for Gaokao — June 7th and 8th were tense dates for millions of Chinese high school students as they took one of the most important exams in their life, the college entrance examination. More than 9.3 million students sat for this year’s test. As millions of students were doing some last-minute cramming for the national college entrance examinations, authorities launched a crackdown on sales of high-tech devices used to cheat on the tests.

The National College Entrance Examination (NCEE), or “gaokao,” is the world’s largest standardized test. However, a string of cheating scandals featuring the use of high-tech devices have cast a shadow over the test.

Since late April, police have busted eight criminal rings that have admitted to selling devices such as wireless earphones and transmitter-receiver sets that allow their buyers to cheat on the exams.

Fourteen of the 18 arrested ring members are still in custody. Wireless communication devices are used by some students to obtain answers from people outside of the examination venues.

In the news after the first day: one student was 10 minutes late in arriving, and was not allowed to enter and take the test. He was found later having committed suicide by jumping off the nearest building. Pressure on them is intense…and everything hangs in the balance, in their mind, because the grade determines whether they get to attend a first-tier school.

This country celebrated French Open winner Li Na (see photo) a few days ago. Newspaper accounts responded to words of support in Mandarin: “Jia you!” — which loosely translates to “Let’s go!” After so many years of “Come on” and “Allez” and “Vamos,” there’s a new language on the tennis landscape.”

Li became the first Chinese player, man or woman, to win a Grand Slam singles title by beating defending champion Francesca Schiavone of Italy 6-4, 7-6 (0) at Roland Garros.

She already was the first woman from that nation of more than 1.4 billion people to win a WTA singles title, the first to enter the top 10 in the rankings, and the first to make it to a Grand Slam final — she lost to Kim Clijsters at the Australian Open in January.

Tennis is considered an elite sport in China, and while participation is rapidly increasing, it still trails basketball, soccer and table tennis, among others. But Li’s victory was big news back home.

Li broke away from the Chinese government’s sports system in late 2008 under an experimental reform policy for tennis players dubbed “Fly Alone.”

Li was given the freedom to choose her own coach and schedule and to keep much more of her earnings: Previously, she turned over 65 percent to the authorities; now it’s 12 percent. That comes to about $205,000 of the $1.7 million French Open winner’s check.

At her news conference, Li wore a new T-shirt with Chinese characters that mean “sport changes everything,” and offered thanks to Sun.

When a reporter mentioned the June 1989 crackdown on pro-democracy demonstrators in Tiananmen Square and asked whether her victory could spark a sports revolution, Li said she’s “just” a tennis player and added, “I don’t need to answer … this question.”

Finding Friendships — Faithful friends are one of life’s greatest assets

Men’s Life magazine surprised itself with a survey – asking its readers “What’s the most important thing in your life?”  And no, it was not sex, it was not career, it was neither fame nor fortune.

The most important things to 63 percent of the men were their wives and ninety percent of married men called their wives their best friend.

I wish we knew the author who wrote: “There are those who pass like ships in the night. Who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight With never a backward glance of regret; Folks we know briefly then quickly forget. Then there are friends who sail together Through quiet waters and stormy weather Helping each other through joy and through strife. And they are the kind who give meaning to life.”

One man summarized what he had learned during a Dale Carnegie course: “If you want to keep friends and have people like you, there are three things you must never do. Each one of these begins with a “C”. The first one is, “Never complain”; the second, “Never condemn;” and the last one, “Never criticize.”‘

I especially find C. S. Lewis’ words delightful: ‘Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities.”  I suppose anything you can do together as a couple helps strengthen your marriage.

I love the poem that describes what I enjoy: “O, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, Having neither to weigh thoughts, Nor measure words — but pouring them right out — just as they are — Chaff and grain together, Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them — Keep what is worth keeping — And with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Real friends don’t care if your socks don’t match. Real friends have a great time doing absolutely nothing together. A real friend warms you by her presence, trusts you with her secrets, and remembers you in her prayers.

Our friends are the people whom we choose; usually friends are the same sort of people as ourselves. My neighbor is the man whom I do not choose; he is the man whom the Father gives to me. He is the man who happens to live in the house next to mine; he is the man who happens to sit opposite to me in the train; he is the clerk who works at the desk next to mine. I have no right to say that he is no concern of mine, because, if I am a Follower, I know that he is the man who has given to me.

A friend is one who warns you. A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are.

Jay Kesler has said that one of his great hopes in life is to wind up with at least eight people who will attend his funeral without once checking their watches.  I love it!  Do you have eight people who’ll do that?

“Two boys in the last war were devoted pals and friends. After a bitter battle one day, one of the boys found that his pal was missing and knew that he was somewhere out there in No-man’s Land.  He asked for permission to go out after his friend but the commander said it was no use for no one was alive out there after the withering fire of many hours.

“After great insistence, he was finally given permission to go.  Some time later he came back with the limp body of his friend over his shoulder. The commander said, “Didn’t I tell you it was no use to go?”  to which the boy replied with radiance in his eyes, “But it was.  I got there in time to hear him whisper, ‘I knew you’d come.'”

We don’t know the source of these words, but they speak to all of us who have that ‘special person’ in our life.

A friend is: a push when you’ve stopped, a word when you’re lonely, a guide when you’re searching, a smile when you’re sad,  a song when you’re glad.

A friend will joyfully sing with you when you are on the mountaintop, and silently walk beside you through the valley. — Gary

10 Commandments of Friendships

1. Speak to people — there is nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting.

2. Smile at people — it takes 72 muscles to frown, but only 14 to smile!

3. Call people by name — the sweetest music to anyone’s ear is the sound of their own name.

4. Be friendly and helpful — if you would have friends, be friendly.

5. Be cordial — speak and act as if everything you do were a real pleasure.

6. Be genuinely interested in people — you can like everyone IF YOU TRY.

7. Be generous with praise; cautious with criticism.

8. Be considerate of the feelings of others — it will be appreciated.

9. Be thoughtful of the opinions of others.

10. Be alert to give service — what counts most in life is what we do for others!

Signs ‘You Have No Friends’

1. No calls from salespeople pushing MCI’s “Friends and Family” plan.

2. You go to a video store and say out loud to yourself, “Well, what do you want to rent tonight?”

3. You send birthday cards to members of “The McLaughlin Group.”

4. You are one of the five best solitaire players in the world.

5. At your funeral, the entire eulogy is, “Yep, he’s dead.” or  6. Having a Super Bowl party means dressing up your dogs and tying then to the furniture.

7. James Taylor sings the first bars of “You’ve Got a Friend,” notices you in the audience and stops.

8. All your phone calls start with “900.”

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Terry’s photo on University poster; Alvin in Shanghai; Dragon boat races and Zongzi; students who will teach us Chinese; another holiday; ‘experts’ judge two speech groups; China drought; two of Gary’s classes; eating at Pizza Hut; photo album gift from TJ’s students; parasols protect students from the sun

Begin with the end in mind “…this concept has given us such patience with the work we are doing here”

Henry Ward Beecher  said, “it is not the going out of port but the coming in that determines the success of a voyage.” And Paul told Timothy “to stay the  course” when he was discouraged in Ephesus and must have been tempted to leave.

To say the same thing differently, “begin with the end in mind.”

That is what has given us such patience with the work here. While we are pleased with our progress thus far, we know that it takes time to build relationships, and even more time to overcome a nation’s way of looking at important matters.

When these first-year students are on the same campus with us…and we have a semester behind us….and we learn more Chinese…wow. We’re already looking forward to September!

By the way, we have found two students who are going to spend 3 hours per week with us, learning Chinese during our 7-week summer vacation.

If you have not read True North by Gary Inrig, I suggest you go to Amazon and get a used copy for one cent…plus $3.99 shipping. It’s one of those books you’ll read many times over the years…his book on Forgiveness is even better. I decided that with Oprah off the air, maybe I should begin my own book club suggestions 🙂

I showed several of my junior female students the movie Fireproof, wanting them to learn the marriage values presented before they get outside of my direct influence. Their “ooh and ahh” reactions were in the right spots…they clapped heartily when it ended…so romantic. 🙂

I have enjoyed following DWade and the Miami Heat from afar…not really a Lebron James fan, even when we lived 23 miles east of Cleveland. It certainly gives me good conversation with the young men in my classes, and I particularly enjoy rooting against the Lakers 🙂

It is becoming normal to have the Best Book read in Chinese weekly in our apartment, but not yet used to listening/watching sports in the Chinese language.

We observed another holiday with Monday off from classes: The Chinese Dragon Boat Festival is a significant holiday, and the one with the longest history.

The Dragon Boat Festival is celebrated by boat races in the shape of dragons. Competing teams row their boats forward to a drumbeat racing to reach the finish end first.

The boat races are traditional customs in attempts to rescue the patriotic poet Chu Yuan. Chu Yuan drowned on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month in 277 B.C. Chinese citizens now throw bamboo leaves filled with cooked rice (like those below, right) into the water. Therefore the fish could eat the rice rather than the hero poet. This later on turned into the custom of eating tzungtzu and rice dumplings.

The celebration’s is a time for protection from evil and disease for the rest of the year. It is done so by different practices such as hanging healthy herbs on the front door, drinking nutritious concoctions, and displaying portraits of evil’s nemesis, Chung Kuei.

One of the events we have been asked to take part in, as mentioned earlier, is to judge speech competitions. They are in English, so we are the ‘experts’ so they feel we are  able to do the best job with the intonation and pronunciation, etc. I do not agree, but they are hard to convince otherwise. Some of the Chinese teachers are highly educated in phonetics!

One of the parts most difficult, for Terry, especially, is the expectation that we should have some ‘comments’ to the students when it is over.

Greetings from Terry: I have figured out how to handle the thick ice that forms on the back wall of our refrigerator (not freezer) every week. I just unplug it for about four hours then dry up the moisture. It doesn’t bother the food and it is a lot easier and safer than chiseling.

Saturday, May 28: We took two of Gary’s freshman, female students out to lunch then back to our apartment for a visit. It was a delight to be with them. That same evening we had the pleasure of going to dinner with the group from Harding: Jon & Amber White, Laura, Brenda and Rebecca. Then we brought them back to our apartment for a good visit. We had met Hannah previously, but she was not feeling well the night we ate with them.

Sunday, May 29: I was able to spend almost two hours with one of my students bringing her up to date in class work. She has had to miss several classes because of leg surgery.  —- Love, Terry

One student took the Best Book last week and began reading that same day. Her roommates chided her with the statement “do you want to become a daughter of the god” when they observed her actions. She told us about it the next day, but seemed resolved to continue reading.

The other night, when we were on Skype with Tonia, there were over 25.6 million online at the same time. What a service offered to those of us who are away from their family!  Here’s hoping that their being sold to Microsoft changes the service and the fact it is free! We’ve had a few glitches, but it has worked lately just fine.

Worst drought in 50 years along Yangtze: Dry spell ravages Central China

WUHAN – The worst drought in 50 years to hit provinces along the Yangtze River may continue to plague Central China. The China Meteorological Administration warned on Tuesday that little rain is expected in the coming 10 days and highs of 36 C are likely to hit the central and southern parts of China.

These regions will mostly see hot, dry weather during the coming week, the administration said, adding that local departments will activate cloud seeding when weather conditions are fit. Data indicated that rainfall in these regions is 30 to 80 percent less compared to normal years, while the provinces of Anhui, Jiangsu, Hubei, Hunan, Jiangxi, Zhejiang and Shanghai municipality continue to suffer the worst drought since 1954.

Between January and April, the Yangtze River basin received 40 percent less rainfall than the average level of the past 50 years. The water area of Dongting Lake in the middle reaches of the Yangtze River was 73 percent less on May 20 than the same day last year, according to statistics from the administration.

As of Monday, the lingering drought in Hubei has affected nearly 10 million people, about one sixth of its population, and influenced 1.2 million hectares of farmland, causing direct economic losses of 7.1 billion yuan ($1.1 billion), according to the provincial civil affairs department. Since the end of last autumn, most areas of Hubei have received 50 percent less rainfall than the same period in 2010.

      The Office of State Flood Control and Drought Relief Headquarters asked the Three Gorges Dam to increase water discharges to up to 12,000 cubic meter per second (about 3,000 cu m per second more than the water flowing in) from May 25 to June 10, in order to raise the water level in the middle and lower reaches.The water level in more than 1,300 reservoirs in Hubei province have dropped below the allowable discharge level for irrigation, said Yuan Junguang, director of the reservoir management office of Hubei provincial water resources department. 

(We’re at Yangtze River University, Hubei province)

Devoted to Family…A happy family is but an early heaven

During a visit to the children’s Bible class, a preacher looked into their serious faces and asked, “Why do you love God?” After a moment a small voice came from the back: “I guess it just runs in the family.”

Some of us are blessed to be ‘lifers.’ It’s a phrase I first heard in Mansfield, Ohio, many years ago, used to describe a person “who has been around the church his whole life.”

What a blessed person! To have grandparents and parents who knew the value of God, Christ, the Bible, and the church! To attend worship and classes “every time the doors are opened” is a blessed way of life that benefits into eternity.

Some aren’t so fortunate, for many children don’t even feel as if they know their parents, much less the Lord. The story is told of a young boy who wanted a new suit of clothes, and he asked his mother if she would ask his father to buy it for him. The mother suggested that it might be better if the boy would ask the father himself. The response of the boy was, “Well, I would, but you know him much better than I do.”

Sadly, it’s not easy to bring about much-needed change. Herbert Prochnow tells of a little girl who wrote in an essay on Parents: “We get our parents at so late an age that it is impossible to change their habits.”

In Japan, many workers are finding themselves either too busy or too stressed to visit their parents.  An enterprising business is now offering a solution for lonely parents.  For $1,130 a day, the Japan Efficiency Headquarters company will send actors to provide “family” time.  The actors have been trained in psychology to ensure a more realistic family visit.

Lee Iacocca said, “Your job takes up enough time without having to shortchange your family. Still, I’ve seen a lot of executives who neglect their families, and it always makes me sad. You can’t let a corporation turn into a labor camp. Hard work is essential. But there’s also a time for rest and relaxation, for going to see your kid in the school play or at a swim meet. And if you don’t do these things while the kids are young, there’s no way to make it up later on. I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I’ve had a wonderful and successful career, but next to my family, it hasn’t really mattered at all.”

It is sad commentary on our times that families have become so fragmented and splintered some must hire a surrogate family to provide companionship.

A family is more than a collection of human beings who are blood kin.  A family is more than the sum of its parts.  It is a living, shaping, powerful unit that teaches us our most important lessons in life.  It teaches us who we are, how to act, whom to relate to, and what is important in life.

I am the second of nine children in my family.  I’m used to hearing remarks about the size of our family. Once when my father had taken four of us to the grocery store, a woman asked him, “Are these all your children?”

“Oh, no,” he innocently replied.

Seeing the look of relief on her face, Dad said with a twinkle in his eye, “The other five are at home.”

Close friends of our family used to tease Mom (a nurse) and Dad (a chemist). “You do know what causes children, don’t you?” they would ask. Their response made it crystal clear of their knowledge: “Some people put their efforts and their money into houses or vacations. We’re investing in children.”

Grandchildren are a different discussion! They bless our lives in ways we could never have imagined!

A woman had a very precocious grandchild who was visiting her.  She was about 10 or 11 years old.  She asked, “Grandma how old are you?” And grandma said, “Well, honey we don’t tell our ages, it is not polite to ask a women her age.”  “Oh, come on grandma, tell me how old you are.”  “No, honey.  I am not going to tell you how old I am.”  So, the girl disappeared.

Grandma heard something up stairs and went up and found the little girl in her purse. The little girl had found her driver’s license and she was adding up the date of birth to the present time, and she said, “Grandma you are 78 years old.”  “Now honey, you shouldn’t be in there,” grandma said.  “Plus, grandma, I see that you got an F in sex.”

There is a story about a father who became disturbed about the length of time his six year old son was taking to get home from school. The father decided he would make the trip to discover for himself how long it should take a small boy to cover the distance. The father settled on 20 minutes but his son was still taking an hour. Finally the father decided to make the trip with his son.

After the trip, the man said, “The 20 minutes I thought reasonable was right, but I failed to consider such important things as a side trip to track down a trail of ants — or an educational stop to watch a man fix a flat — or the time it took to swing around a half dozen telephone poles — or how much time it took for a boy just to get acquainted with two stray dogs and a brown cat.

“In short,” said the father, “I had forgotten what it is really like to be six years old.”

In her best-seller, What Is a Family?, Edith Schaeffer devotes her longest chapter to the idea that a family is a perpetual relay of truth.  A place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living.  Where character traits are sculptured under the watchful eyes of moms and dads.  Where steel-strong fibers are woven into the fabric of inner constitution. The relay place.  A race with a hundred batons.

• Determination.  “Stick with it, regardless.”
• Honesty.  “Speak and live the truth – always.”
• Responsibility.  “Be dependable, be trustworthy.”
• Thoughtfulness.  “Think of others before yourself.”
• Confidentiality.  “Don’t tell secrets.  Seal your lips.”
• Punctuality.  “Be on time.”
• Self-control.  “When under stress, stay calm.”
• Patience.  “Fight irritability.  Be willing to wait.”
• Purity.  “Reject anything that lowers your standards.”
• Compassion.  “When another hurts, feel it with him.”
• Diligence.  “Work hard.  Tough it out.”

And how is this done?  Over the long haul, believe me.  This race is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.  There are no 50-yard dash courses on character building.  Relays require right timing and smooth handoffs – practiced around the track hour after hour when nobody is looking.

And where is this practice track? Where is this place where rough edges cannot remain hidden, must not be left untouched?  Inside your own front door.

The home is the Father’s built-in training facility.

Many couples in my generation need to learn that a happy home is not having a good paying job, a mortgage of $100,+, a brand new car every five years, trying to keep up with everyone else.  Home is really a state of mind; ideally, it is a created situation where two people who love each other are committed to one another’s well being, living in harmony, love, forbearance, and consideration.

There are at least two primary joys of a Christian home: First there  is the joy of knowing that someone cares for you. God cares for me (John 3:16) and there is not a greater self-esteem builder in the world. God created us with the desire to feel wanted, important, and necessary.  He created the home to aid in fulfilling the need to feel needed!

In the Christian home, the husband and wife have said to one another, “I care so much for you that I   selected you from all others to share my life.”  Likewise, our children should be convinced that we care for them!

Second, there is the joy of knowing that there is someone I can depend upon! A great joy to know this – standing together in good times and bad. Children need to know there is someone they can depend on when the trials of life come knocking.

Being able to depend upon someone is described in the word “commitment.” In a proper home situation there is someone to whom I am committed and who is committed to me.

A truly Christian home is a place where sinners live; but it is also a place where the members of that home admit this fact and understand the problem, know what to do about it, and as a result grow by grace.

It is important that this environment be in place so all members of the family will have a loving, graceful, safe, and warm place in which to grow. It’s vital that we treat each other in the same way Jesus treated His 12 apostles.  As they stumbled and made mistakes, he was patient with them because of one simple point: He knew they were not yet what they would become. We need to “be patient, God’s not finished with us yet! — Gary

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Scenes from China; goodies from home; student outdoor performance; very interesting bin Laden and Obama masks; inside the women’s dorm…and our grandson Colton’s 1st birthday (who can blame a granddaddy?)

We’ve been trying to get in some foundational studies that will be with them in coming months and years

The weather has been erratic lately, getting as high as 95 degrees and the next day it was 69. Was low of 55, high of 59 same week as the mid-90’s. It is really nice when it’s lower, especially for our students, who have no air conditioning in their dormitory rooms.

We were told the temperatures are similar to that of Tennessee, and we’ve found that to be the case many days. I doubt it’s been 55 as a low anytime lately, though.

I remember many August days when my dad wanted to go sailing…no wind, and very hot and humid. We do not look forward to those times, though Tonia, Wendy, and Aiden will be here for 10 days to bring greater joy to our life! It IS hot everywhere we’ve ever lived during that month.

I continue to marvel at these youngsters. They deal with the difficult temperatures in such a positive way!  They are not sleeping well at night, when it’s over 90 degrees, and some are having trouble staying awake at the end of the second 50-minute session of our weekly classes. We have had them on our mind and in our hearts!

We were told “foreign teachers” tend to grade easier than the Chinese instructors, and I tend to agree. Most of my students will get A’s and B’s, with only a few C’s and maybe 1-2 who are close to a D. If they are in class and participate, hard to see why there should be any F’s.

I think we put ourselves in their shoes and reward them with appreciation and encouragement, and we certainly identify with the difficulty of learning a new language. 🙂

We’ve been treating several to lunch, in anticipation of the summer break, when most will not be around. Life on a college campus speeds up the last month; it becomes quite hectic due to the pressure of finishing work and finals. Those who live in the area have volunteered to be ‘tour guides’ when family comes in August.

We have several older students who will  likely not be in our area next fall. Two are completing graduate ‘papers’ in early June.

We’ve been trying to get in some foundational studies that will  be with them in coming months and years. I am also thankful for email, so we can engage in questions, answers, and encouragement from a distance. Have found Hindu backgrounds coming to the forefront in recent ‘count the cost’ discussions.

I am reminded daily that those who have planted in previous years paved the way for the watering that is taking place right now. We anticipate a harvest in due time. For certain, “good news” is being received with earnestness…will not return to us void. 🙂

Harding group delivered some items yesterday…received some new 33” waist jeans/pants/shorts and also a cornbread pan. Now I have to find some corn meal…have missed eating cornbread here with pinto and white lima beans, slaw, cheddar/jalapeno cheese and stewed tomatoes. Jennifer also sent a new bottle of hot sauce, also good with dried beans.

We saw a black & white copy of Terry’s Little Yellow Duck children’s story and were pleased (it has been self-published on Lulu.com). Family members who have seen it were positive (what did we expect, huh!). It is now in English and Spanish, with plans to translate it into Chinese soon.

Terry and I have received three textbooks to help us learn more Chinese during our summer break. We’re in the process now of finding one of our better students, who will be in our area during that time, to help us.

I bought a new shelf for our kitchen this week, giving us much-needed storage space. I bartered the salesperson down 100 yuan from the asking price…Batsell would have been proud.

Received only my second haircut in China today…might give you an idea how much was cut off the last time. Asked for less and received a more reasonable cut this time. I was a 60’s teenager so I like my hair longer than most. 🙂

Terry and I were two of six judges of a speech contest. The system was a little unorganized for our liking, but the participants did great…and two of her students were in the top three. It is something we will likely be asked to again and again, since we’re ’the experts’ on English.

Greetings from Terry: Saturday, May 14: we had the American foreign teachers over to our apartment for a devo and lunch. Thirteen people in all. It was a lively time of singing, petitioning, reading, eating and visiting. And a good time was had by all. That evening we discovered a kind of student play being put on outside in the badminton court; complete with costumes, back drop, loud speakers and music.

Sunday, May 15: I enjoyed the luxury of sleeping until 7:30. The electricity was off when we woke and it did not come back on until 7:20 pm at which time we gave a cheer of joy, raided the refrigerator and had a hot meal.

Sunday, May 22: This has been a very good week. I am reading The Harvester by Gene Stratton-Porter. Now I know where my Mother may have gotten her love and understanding of plants. It is a very good, old book.

With only five weeks left in this semester I am realizing there is so much more I want to share with my dear students. Hopefully we will be able to keep up the friendship when they are on the Central campus next year.

Wednesday we took one of our study groups out to lunch and really enjoyed our time together.

On Friday only one person was able to come to the 3 pm study but it was a very profitable time spent in Matthew 7. Knowing some of the graduate students will be leaving soon makes it urgent for us to get the most important things before them for their own contemplation. If we whet their appetites and teach them to feed themselves they can go on to maturity with help and guidance from the one who makes it all possible.

Saturday we took two of my students out to lunch and then back to the apartment for a visit. A dear couple with strength of character and firm ideas of what they want in the future.

It will be interesting to see what plans He has for their life. As they left our apartment, each carried our favorite book, the first time they had owned their very own copy 🙂

The same evening we took a taxi to the East campus and met Jon and Amber White, here for six weeks from  Harding University. They were kind enough to bring some much needed medicine and miscellaneous supplies to us from Gary’s sister, Jennifer. It was good to meet them. Even though they will be busy on another campus, maybe we can spend some time with them while they are here.

It is raining and quite cool this weekend, a welcome and refreshing change. As always, we thoroughly enjoy each time we get to Skype with our sweet families back in the States. It is “strength to our bones” to see their smiling faces and to see how they are working and living to His service.

Gary bought a small metal cabinet off the street that is just perfect for our kitchen. It is clean, light weight and just fits in the space for it. I enjoyed working the puzzle to decide what all could be stored inside. It makes our small space easier to manage. “Good eye!” Gary.

Monday, May 23: During the twenty minutes between my two morning classes some of the girls were talking about how they decorated their dorm room. I asked them to take pictures so I could see it and they excitedly said they could take me right then to see it.

So we walked very quickly to the fifth floor of the next building. I was happy to see it was a new, clean and spacious. As  you  walk  into  the room there is a desk and storage unit of pine wood with a black metal bunk bed directly above it for each girl, two on each side of the room. The ceiling is very high so the girls are not at all cramped in their bunks.

Just beyond the beds was the large white tiled washroom with the bathroom off to the side. That end of the room had high uncovered windows that let in plenty of light. The girls had taped colored paper loosely over the light fixtures and hung different colored streamers from the ceiling. They had decorated the walls with different colored paper cut outs, pictures and sayings. There were streamers of artificial willow leaves in the doorway dividing the bedroom and the washroom. It was a very clean, neat, pleasant, uplifting living space. I took pictures (see page 3), but it was hard to capture it. The girls were so excited that I had wanted to see it.

We are finding all sorts  of  good  fresh vegetables at the market and in the (cont. on page 5)restaurant: egg plant, cucumber, tomatoes, onions, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, smaller green and red sweet (as in not hot) peppers and potatoes, several kinds of lettuce and greens. At first there was broccoli and celery, but I have not seen it for a few weeks now.

Love to all who read this. Thank you for your petitions on our behalf. They help make it possible for this shy woman who would rather stay in the background can even contemplate standing in front of 281 university students. Have a good week. — Love, Terry

More from Gary: I watch with amazement each day of the task the grandparents have in this society, that of raising grandchildren so the parents can work and earn a living for all. As much as I adore my grandsons, it is not best for anyone that they would be raised by the older generation. For one, we simply do not have the energy! 🙂 Yet, here, it is the expected and normal situation. A question was raised last week  in  English  Corner:  “Should grandparents be paid?” Since they are provided housing with utilities and food, I suppose you could say they already being compensated.

I found the ‘new apple in town’ cartoon very interesting (see photo page 3). Printed in the May 13 China Daily, it depicts a main message about America’s Apple Corporation and Benjamin Franklin and Sir Isaac Newton…and what appears to be Adam and Eve on the left of the picture with a serpent in the Garden of Eden tree. Someone is making progress in this country! 🙂

I do not plan to ever “grow accustomed” to the desire on the part of the Chinese to eat their food fresh…especially chicken! When we walk off campus around supper time, we both have permission to say firmly “eyes straight” and realize that someone is holding a live chicken to our right and left land we do not want to see or think about what they are about to do. Yes, it IS the “preacher’s bird” but I don’t mind leftovers. 🙂

My speech classes are presenting the lessons they learned from The Ultimate Gifts film from three weeks ago. One student talked of the gift of Family and broke down three times in tears as she spoke of the lessons she learned from her father, prior to his death a few years back…a very moving circumstances for the entire class.

Another spoke of befriending someone in middle school, only to find out later they had intended to take their life, until she had offered her a friend she’d never had before.

As we near the close of the semester, we’re getting ready for most of our present students being on the same campus with us next fall. We think it will open doors for personal relationships and more discussions.

I found the ‘new apple in town’ cartoon very interesting (see photo: look carefully). Printed in the May 13 China Daily, it depicts a main message about America’s Apple Corporation and Benjamin Franklin and Sir Isaac Newton…and what appears to be Adam and Eve on the left of the picture with a serpent in the Garden of Eden tree. Someone is making progress in this country! 🙂

Thought you might be interested: Shanghai has some 132,000 individuals with a personal wealth of 10 million yuan ($1.54 million) or more. The figures show that the city is home to the second-largest number of wealthy people in China, after Beijing.

The “pig-feed king” Liu Yongxing, chairman of East Hope Group topped the list of Shanghai’s Top Ten wealthy people, with a personal fortune of about $5 billion. Second to Liu is the property tycoon Xu Rongmao, the chairman of Shanghai Shimao Group, with personal wealth of $4,900 million. Zhou Chengjian, the president of the Shanghai-based textile company Metersbonwe Group ranked third.

Therefore, the Hurun Report further concluded that Ye Lipei, the chairman of the property company Super Ocean Group is the richest Shanghainese mentioned in the report. The 30-year-old basketball star Yao Ming is the youngest local billionaire.

The report also found that the city is home to 7,800 super-rich people, those with personal wealth of 100 million yuan. That’s a rise of around 7 percent from last year. In total, China has 60,000 super-rich people who are worth 100 million yuan or more, up about 10 percent on last year’s figure.

“Shanghai’s rapid economic development and exploding real estate market has created a situation where 1 in every 175 people in Shanghai is a millionaire,” said Rupert Hoogewerf, the chairman and chief researcher of the Hurun Report.

The data indicate that the average age of the super-rich is 43, and that there has been a surge of interest in fine wines and collecting art, especially classic Chinese art.

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Being a Blessing…There is no plant  in the ground but is full of His virtue. There is  no form in the strand  but is full of His blessing

It is not enough to possess “things”; we must also possess the kind of character that enables us to use “things” wisely and enjoy them properly.

It is related that during the Civil War a Confederate soldier who was placed far out in a lonely wood to watch suddenly felt a strange dread and fear come over him. The moon was shining dimly in the deeply wooded place. And while it seemed strange and unwise, he felt constrained to sing softly the old song, “Jesus, Lover of my soul let me to Thy bosom fly,” and the stanza, “Other refuge have I none.” This he did, and immediately felt relieved of his fear.

A few years later, when the war was over, he was at a meeting and sang the same song. After the song, a stranger came up to him and said, “I never saw you before, but I have heard that voice before.” Then he asked him if he sang that song one night during the war.  Then he related to him how he and some of his men, who were Union soldiers, were hidden behind trees and had their guns turned on him and were ready to fire! “But,” said he, “as we heard that song, ‘Jesus, Lover of my soul,’ and, ‘Other refuge have I none,’ I said to my men, Don’t shoot that man,’ and we slipped away and left you. I shall never forget the voice I heard that night.”

It’s similar to the story of an only survivor of a wreck who was thrown on an uninhabited island. After a while he managed to build himself a hut, in which he placed the little all that he had saved from the ship. He prayed for deliverance and anxiously scanned the horizon each day to hail any passing ship. One day on returning from a hunt for food, he was horrified to find his hut in flames. All he had was going up in smoke! The worst had happened, it appeared; but that which seemed to have happened for the worst was in reality for the best. To the man’s limited vision it was the worst. To The Father’s infinite wisdom it was the best, for which he had prayed. The next day a ship arrived. “We saw your smoke signal,” the captain said.

I remember reading a story not long ago about the “elevated” in Chicago–a train that when it comes into the downtown, it’s on a high track. A young man was riding that train day after day as a commuter. And as the train slowed up for the station where he got off, he could look through an open curtain into a room of a building and see a woman lying in a bed.

She was there day after day, for a long time, obviously quite ill. He began to get interested in her since he saw her every day. Finally he determined to find out her name. He discovered her address, and he wrote her a card, assuring her that he was praying for her recovery. He signed it: “The young man on the elevated.”

A few weeks later, he pulled into the station, and he looked through that window and the bed was empty. Instead there was a great huge sign: THE FATHER BLESS YOU, MY FRIEND ON THE ELEVATED!

It sounds rather trite to say it, but it is a fact that the everyday blessings of life are so basic that we often take them for granted.

When spring came to England after the devastating bombing raids of 1941 by Nazi Germany, a strange thing occurred. It brought a beautiful, botanical resurrection. The explosions brought to the surface seeds of plants which were thought to be extinct. Some 95 different flowers and shrubs were found suddenly growing and blooming in the bomb-pocked landscape of England. Likewise, adversity, in life often turns up unexpected and undeveloped parts of our lives. The bombs of adversity and suffering often resurrect long-dormant flowers.

It doesn’t say enough , but what it does say is good.  I’m referring to Ralph Waldo Emerson’s reflection on success.

How do you measure success?  To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;  To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;  To appreciate beauty;  To find the best in other;  To leave the world a bit better whether by a wealthy child, a redeemed social condition, or a job well done; To know even one other life has breathed because you lived, this is to have succeeded.”

We had better bear our troubles bravely than try to escape them. Indeed, sometimes The Father will place certain obstacles to prevent sin or harm.  However, if we try to remove these obstacles, we will ultimately come to regret it.

We must remember that no matter how difficult our tribulations may seem to us, there are always others who are in a worse situation than us! — Gary

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Brinson’s pirate; steamed bread/dumplings; colleagues; spring arrives; city gates; another trip to orphanage

“I love my crazy job” is on office mug as constant reminder over the years, though it’s in California storage …..something of a metaphor of life/situation right now

I celebrated the beginning of my 33rd year of working full-time for the Father on May 13. No regrets, no matter what ‘ups and downs’ we’ve experienced. We have always put our life into His hands! “I love my crazy job” is on a mug as a constant reminder over the years, though I haven’t seen it because it’s been in California storage since the first of April, 2010…..something of a metaphor of our life and situation right now. 🙂

We participated in a class project “from a distance” with our oldest grandson, Brinson. To begin, he sent us by mail a man he’d drawn and colored, but it still has not arrived…it’s been over three weeks. So he started again, drawing another one and sending by email attachment this time…we printed it on our dysfunctional new printer (a long story) and cut it out.

Our assignment? Hold it in front of some architecture unique  in your area and take a picture, and send to him ASAP…which he was then able to present to his teacher and classmates as part of their learning experience.

Terry and I were both humbled through the avenue of an English teacher’s staff meeting and competition. We were asked to come provide support for one of the two presenters, with no prior warning that they would also want us to evaluate their efforts in the area of pronunciation, grammar, etc. I was able to comment on their overall effort, but little else.

One of the presentations was equipping students on the practice of dating, and specific ways to respond to dating opportunities. One area was blind dates; after making some general comments (mentioned earlier), I did mention that I personally had one particular experience on a blind date, and “had to cover my eyes” after the introduction of the young lady. They did not “get it” (and, of course, it was a joke). No laughs or even smiles. We have been warned that our humor is often lacking. One of our discussion members did tell Terry the next day on the teacher’s bus that I was humorous, so at least he ‘got it.’ 🙂

One more comment on the speeches from my Speaking Skills students: they have a good value system in place regarding money and love. As mentioned earlier, several students spoke on “Love is more important in marriage than money” and others on the topic “Money is not the key to happiness.” They also spoke in positive terms about the reality that “living in the city compared to the country offered more opportunities to help them take care of their families.”

Some may remember that some of the Davenport family are big Cubs fans…always hopeful for “next season.” I made the statement that “just watch…I’ll go to China and the Cubs will win the World Series, and I’ll miss it.”  Well, so much for that dream! I am leading the fantasy baseball league I’m in with Eric and Gregory and friends from Ohio and Florida for the first time since 2001, though I doubt it will continue! 🙂

Greetings from Terry: Ahh… Some citrus trees are blooming on campus. It reminds me of living in Phoenix; a good memory.

We have enjoyed the break of no classes Monday or Tuesday of this week (May 2nd &3^rd) due to the May Day Holiday. My time was spent sleeping later, doing some cleaning and hand sewing, preparing lessons, studying and meditating on my favorite book, reading a book and writing a book.

That’s right. Sunday night I had an interesting and detailed dream. So I wrote it down and decided to try to make it into a children’s book. Gary is doing the technical part on the computer. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

The other day I heard what sounded like someone practicing classical piano coming from one of the apartments in the next building. It was very beautiful.

Last night Dean Catherine gave us several loquats; small oval fruit, about 2” long. peach to light orange in color, smooth and soft skin. They were very delicious. They tasted like a cross between a peach and a mango but different. I’m saving the seeds for Mother. I know she can get them to grow.

Today I actually saw honeysuckle blooming next to the roses and a new purple flower I have never seen before. Large trumpets of amaryllis have also bloomed this weekend. Lily pads are beginning to spread out on the pond. I followed a thin, smart looking brown and white bird for a while trying to get a picture of him but he just wouldn’t cooperate. Maybe I will catch him later. I did so enjoy my walk. It was warm but my small umbrella provided a comfortable shade. Father’s handiwork is so beautiful.

Well, the little children’s book is finished and the first copy in black and white is ordered. Color was too expensive. It was a fun experience. We started to print it in English, Spanish and Chinese all in one cover but Google Translate did not give a good smooth translation so we stuck to English and Spanish. Now back to life as before.

This week a student gave me a gift box of jasmine tea from her home town. It smells so-o-o-o beautiful and tastes good, too. I wonder if it makes my blood sweeter. I got my first three mosquito bites of the season all in a 20 minute span three days after starting to drink the tea. 🙂

Our next door neighbor is in the process of totally redoing his apartment. What sounds like a sledge hammer and a small jackhammer are coming from our adjoining wall at all hours of the day starting at 7:00 AM.  It really makes us thankful for the “xiuxi” they observe from 12:00- 2:00. (like the siesta) Today I was thankful for my MP3 player to drown out the noise during my day off  from teaching. The Neil Diamond song I listened to was “It’s A Beautiful Noise”.  So apropos. Love, Terry

We received the following email the day after Colton’s first birthday. While it is absolutely true that the first birthday is for the adults, pictures secure the memories and the children get to enjoy it later! Those of you who are close enough to spend special time with your grandchildren/children, don’t let the time get away. We’re already looking forward to spending quality time with our three grandsons and five children next January.

Six weeks and the semester ends. 🙂

WHAT  IS A GRANDPARENT? (Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’ Grandparents don’t have to be smart. They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us..

They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

Grandpa is the smartest man in earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

A six-year old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh, she lives at the airport, and  when we want her, we just go get her. Then when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

Experiencing Joy…Happiness is a feeling. Joy is an attitude. A posture. A position. A place.

It says in the Declaration of Independence that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Those words are the preamble to the American dream. But more than 235 years later, the innocent, hopeful intentions of our founding fathers have become blind and dangerous compulsions.

We all know we can’t buy happiness, and we are often surprised by what brings us happiness and frustrated by what we believe should make us happy.

It has been suggested that we are becoming a nation of men and women who, in the quest for happiness, all too often fall short of achieving any kind of inner peace. Instead of life’s journey being an exhilarating adventure into the unknown, for many of us it is a compulsive and tiring trek, an exhausting journey where the next stop for replenishment never seems to arrive.

George Santayana: “A string of excited, fugitive, miscellaneous pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in an imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one’s life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will, and is gladly accepted.”

“Many apparently successful people feel that their success is under-served and that one day people will unmark them for the frauds they are. For all the outward trappings of success, they feel hollow inside. They can never rest and enjoy their accomplishments. They need one new success after another. They need constant reassurance from the people around them to still the voice inside them that keeps saying, “If other people knew you the way I know you, they would know what a phony you are.”.

Happiness is not about having what we  want…but wanting what we have! In many ways, happiness is within us waiting to be discovered.

I was told recently of a view of happiness:  An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian were discussing happiness. “Happiness,” said the Englishman, “Is when you return home tired after work and find your slippers warming by the fire.”

“You English have no romance,” said the Frenchman. “Happiness is having dinner with a beautiful woman at a fine restaurant.”

“You are both wrong,” said the Russian.  “True happiness is when you are at home in bed and at 4 a.m. hear a hammering at the door and there stand the secret police, who say to you, ‘Ivan Ivanovitch, you are under arrest,’ and you say, ‘Sorry, Ivan Ivanovitch lives next door.'”

Statistics show that despite conflicts, married people are generally happier, live longer, and contribute more to society than those who remain single or leave a spouse.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s personal experiences certainly proved correct the statement that “the cross of Christ destroyed the equation religion equals happiness.”

Can this statement be said of you? Now that I know Christ, I’m happier when I’m sad than I was before when I was glad.”

One of my favorite stories about a person with a grumpy personality begins with a man going into the doctor’s office. As he walked in, he was met by the receptionist. He told her that he had a sore on his chin that he wanted the doctor to examine.

She said to him, “Down the hall, first door to the right, & take off your clothes.” “But ma’am,” he said, “it’s just a sore on my chin. I don’t think all that is necessary.” She repeated, “Down the hall, first door to the right, & take off your clothes.” “But ma’am,” he said. “Down the hall, first door to the right, & take off your clothes.”

So he went down the hall, took the first door to the right, walked in & saw another man already sitting there in his boxer shorts, shivering. He said to him, “Boy, that receptionist is really something, isn’t she? I just have a little sore on my chin & she told me to come down here, go through this door & take off my clothes.” The man in the boxer shorts said, “You think that’s bad? I’m the UPS delivery man.”

Dr. James J. Walsh said, “Few people realize that their health actually varies due to this factor.  Happy individuals recover from disease much more quickly than sad, complaining patients; and statistics show that those who laugh live longer.”

True joy allows us to live with this motto: Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is  the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I’m going to celebrate! Today, I’m going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.  — Gary