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Abundant Life Issue: The desire for success


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Almost everyone is interested in success. If you have any doubt, look at the business section and self-help section of the local bookstore. Look at the best-selling books. Examine your mail for all the ads for success seminars.

Of all people in the world, Christians should want to succeed. What makes us different are our definition of success and our strategies to get there.

Let’s take a lesson from a tired and weary group of fishermen who felt like failures until Jesus taught them a lesson. It was a lesson that sustained them the rest of their lives.

48286-im-close-to-successThis is obviously a significant event for the disciples, but it was also a significant event for the early church. Their experience of following Jesus is mirrored in these four fisherman. For many Christians, Jesus’ call to become “fishers of men,” mixed with fear and worship, is all very familiar.

Furthermore, this incident shows that Jesus not only fraternized with the working class, but used them significantly in the propagation of the kingdom. While their “doctrinal faith” leaves much to be desired, their “practical faith” is exemplary. In other words, what they believe about Jesus turns out to be wrong; but their trust in Jesus is right on!

It is possible that at least seven of the disciples were fishermen (John 21:1-3). Consider the fact that fishermen generally have the qualities that make for success in serving the Lord. It takes courage and daring, patience and determination to work on the seas; and it also takes a great deal of faith. Fishermen must be willing to work together (they used nets, not hooks) and help one another. They must develop the skills necessary to get the job done quickly and efficiently.

If I had fished all night and caught nothing, I would probably be selling my nets, not washing them to get ready to go out again! But true fishermen don’t quit. Peter kept on working while Jesus used his ship as a platform from which to address the huge crowd on the shore.

“Every pulpit is a fishing boat,” said Dr. J. Vernon McGee, “a place to give out the Word of God and attempt to catch fish.”

But there was another side to this request: Peter was a “captive audience” as he sat in the ship listening to the Word of God. “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Rom. 10:17).

In a short time, Peter would have to exercise faith, and Jesus was preparing him. First He said, “Thrust out a little”; and then, when Peter was ready, He commanded, “Launch out into the deep.” If Peter had not obeyed the first seemingly insignificant command, he would never have participated in a miracle.

From this event comes the Christian acrostic of the fish. The Greek word for fish is ichthys. Each of the five Greek letters stand for the beginning of the following words: Jesus, Christ, God, Son, Savior. It was the secret password for the catacomb worship services. Christian theology is summarized in this symbol.

Mt 4:18 with Lk 5:1 — [One dayLK] 18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. … as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,NIV-6-4 with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

The first step to calling men is seeing a vision of people—people who need the Word of God. The people were actually “pressing” (epikeisthai) in upon Jesus. They gathered and crowded around Him. Note why: to hear the Word of God. They pressed to hear the Word of God. They had a craving, a hunger and thirst after righteousness.

The famous sheet of water in Galilee is called by three names-the Sea of Galilee, the Sea of Tiberias and the Lake of Gennesaret. It is thirteen miles long by eight miles wide. It lies in a dip in the earth’s surface and is 680 feet below sea level. That fact gives it an almost tropical climate. Nowadays it is not very populous but in the days of Jesus it had nine townships clustered round its shores, none of fewer than 15,000 people.

We are here confronted with a turning point in the career of Jesus. Last time we heard him preach he was in the synagogue; now he is at the lakeside. True, he will be back in the synagogue again; but the time is coming when the door of the synagogue will be shut to him and his church will be the lakeside and the open road, and his pulpit a boat. He would go anywhere where men would listen to him. When the synagogue was shut Jesus took to the open road. There is in this story what we might call a list of the conditions of a miracle.

(i) There is the eye that sees. There is no need to think that Jesus created a shoal of fishes for the occasion. In the Sea of Galilee there were phenomenal shoals which covered the sea as if it was solid for as much as an acre. Most likely Jesus’ keen eye saw just such a shoal and his keen sight made it look like a miracle. We need the eye that really sees. Many people saw steam raise the lid of a kettle; only James Watt went on to think of a steam engine. Many people saw an apple fall; only Isaac Newton went on to think out the law of gravity. The earth is full of miracles for the eye that sees.

(ii) There is the spirit that will make an effort. If Jesus said it, tired as he was Peter was prepared to try again. For most people the disaster of life is that they give up just one effort too soon.

(iii) There is the spirit which will attempt what seems hopeless. The night was past and that was the time for fishing. All the circumstances were unfavourable, but Peter said, “Let circumstances be what they may, if you say so, we will try again.” Too often we wait because the time is not opportune. If we wait for a perfect set of circumstances, we will never begin at all. If we want a miracle, we must take Jesus at his word when he bids us attempt the impossible.

Jesus calls these four men—two pairs of brothers, all aligned with their fishing business—Peter, Andrew, James and John. They worked on what is generally called the Sea of Galilee (also called Gennesaret, Chinneroth, or the Sea of Tiberias). But it is actually a lake, not a sea. It is shaped like a pear, twelve miles from north to south and seven miles across at its widest. Oddly, it sits in a basin six hundred and eighty-two feet below sea level, surrounded by a perimeter of one-thousand-foot hills, and it is teeming with fish.

Fishing was one of the three great industries of Palestine along with agriculture and shepherding. It was a lucrative business on this lake. A typically rabbinic exaggeration states that there were three hundred different kinds of fish in the Sea of Galilee. Edersheim describes several such rabbinic teachings about fish, including how to prepare them (I:473). Certainly, fishing was big business in Palestine. Even one of the gates of Jerusalem was called the “Fish Gate” (Neh 3:3).

As Jesus walks along the shore, the fishermen are cleaning their nets after working unproductively all night (Lk 5:5). This was the bane of their work—meticulously cleaning out the pebbles, grasses and sand which had tangled themselves in their nets and repairing the torn strands after heavy use all night.

Simon and Andrew are the first Jesus encounters. They are casting their nets into the lake. This is the only time this kind of net [amphible4stron], is mentioned in the Bible. This was a relatively small net which was cast into the water and sunk whatever was below it. It would then be drawn up and whatever was in its “bell” would be taken in. The second kind of net mentioned in the Bible was the sage4ne4—a drag net that was pulled behind the boat (only used in Mt 13:47). The most common net was the diktya, also mentioned twice in our passage. It was the normal casting net. These larger nets are being cleaned while one of these guys is fooling around in the shallows with the amphible4stron, trying to redeem their night of catching nothing.

The crowds press in on Jesus. He is already so popular that he cannot move about freely. Mobbed like a movie star, Jesus employs Peter’s empty fishing boat as a pulpit and uses the shore as an amphitheater.

The second step to calling men is seizing resources. Jesus had to find some way to handle the throng of people both then and later. The crowds were so large and their needs so many that He just could not handle their disorder. He could not meet the needs of everyone. Standing there and being confronted with the present problem, He scanned the horizon for some way to handle the matter.

As He looked around, He saw an opportunity and laid His plans. He saw a boat and a fisherman in the boat, and He needed both. The boat could be used as a pulpit, and the man could become a disciple. He asked the man to let Him use the boat as a pulpit and to steer the boat out from land a short distance. The point is this: Jesus seized and used the resources available. He had the vision of people needing the Word of God, but He needed a pulpit and others to help, so He scanned the horizon and found both.

The third step to calling men is the removal of reluctant obedience. As soon as Jesus finished His preaching, He decided to win Peter’s loyalty and discipleship. But first, He had to humble Peter. He had to show Peter that He, the Messiah, could look after and take care of him. He told Peter to put out to sea and fish. Peter objected because he had fished all night and had caught nothing.

However, he stopped right in the middle of his objection and obeyed Jesus. Note what had happened.

  1. Peter was reluctant to obey Jesus. He objected to what Jesus asked. He was thoroughly exhausted, for he had “toiled all night.” He was disappointed, for he had caught nothing, and he had worked enough hours already. Despite needing to be home in bed, he had stayed and helped the Lord in His preaching by loaning his boat to Him.
  1. Peter caught himself in the middle of his objection and obeyed. What caused the switch, the change from reluctance to willing obedience? Probably two things.
  2. Peter was pretty well convinced that Jesus was who He claimed to be, the Messiah.
  3. Peter was drawn somewhat to follow Jesus. Therefore, when he began to object to Jesus’ will, there was a prick of conscience, and he obeyed his conscience. He followed his heart…
  • not his mind, thinking there were no fish.
  • not his experience, having already tried and failed to catch fish.
  • not his body, being too tired and exhausted, just incapable of going on.

Reluctance should always give in to obedience. We need the spirit that will try for God, no matter what the obstacles or how hopeless a situation may seem.

 When a man is drawn to Christ, he desperately needs to obey his heart and to obey it immediately.

Lk 5:4-7 — 4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let downNIV-6-5 the nets for a catch.” 5Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” 6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

Jesus asks Peter to push off a short distance from the shore in order to teach. But when he is finished he directs Peter to “cast off” into the deep and let down his net. This is a passionate scene. Peter is tired and frustrated. They have worked all night dropping and hoisting their nets and caught nothing. We must remember, this was not a fishing vacation with a little rod and reel. These are heavy boats, large nets, and their major means of support. Furthermore, Peter has just finished cleaning the nets. Now Jesus is asking him to dirty them up again. This landlubber does not even know that it is the wrong time to fish. In addition, the best fishing is usually near the shore, not in the deep of the lake.

Peter must have been surprised when Jesus took command of the ship and its crew. After all, Jesus was a carpenter by trade (Mark 6:3), and what do carpenters know about fishing? It was a well-known fact that, in the Sea of Galilee, you caught fish at night in the shallow water, not in the daytime in the deep water. What Jesus asked Peter to do was contrary to all of his training and experience, but Peter obeyed. The key was his faith in the Word of God: “Nevertheless, at Thy word” (Luke 5:5).

The word translated “Master” (Luke 5:5) is used only by Luke and it has a variety of meanings, all of which speak of authority: chief commander, magistrate, governor of a city, and president of a college. This unusual word “master” [epistata] is used only by Luke and always in reference to Jesus. This is a momentous phrase. Peter is a professional fisherman. He knows the sea and he knows the odds of going out there and catching a fish. Nevertheless, he has seen Jesus in action before.

More than a year ago, as he followed John the Baptist, he saw Jesus baptized. He watched Jesus cleanse the temple, he was there in Samaria after Jesus talked to the woman at the well. He witnessed the healings in Judea and the miraculous transformation of water into wine in Cana. After nearly nine months of following Jesus, Peter went back to his family fishing business at the lake, while Jesus preached in his own hometown. Now they are reunited. Jesus makes this simple, although absurd, request. But because of Peter’s respect and trust in Jesus, he obeys.

Peter was willing to submit to the authority of Jesus, even though he did not understand all that the Lord was doing. And remember, a great crowd was watching from the shore.

How people respond to success is one indication of their true character. Instead of claiming the valuable catch for themselves, Peter and Andrew called their partners to share it. We are not reservoirs, but channels of blessing, to share with others what God has graciously given to us.

As Peter pulls up the nets, his muscles flex, his eyes bug out, and an involuntary smile breaks out all over his face. It is such a large number of fish, in fact, that their nets begin to tear and their boat begins to sink. The smile turns to a grimace. He knows that he needs some help. Luke uses a word that means “to beckon with a nod.” That makes sense. His hands are full of net, he could hardly wave to his partners, and he certainly can’t let go. Besides that, he is too far out to shout effectively and too busy to have a friendly chat with his partners.

The second boat of their family business comes out to help, manned by James and John. They pass on the other side of the net and begin to pull up so that the net is between the two boats. As they pull up, fish begin to spill over into the boat. So many, in fact, that both boats sink deeper and deeper into the water in threat of going under. This was about all the blessing they could handle! They were shut out the night before with nearly nine months of bills to catch up on since following Jesus. But today, in one beautiful moment, the Lord takes care of their electricity bill and even provides enough extra for a new dress for Peter’s wife.

The fourth step to calling men is demonstrating godly power. Peter’s obedience produced results; his obedience caught fish, and the catch was no ordinary catch. It was much more, so much more that there could be no question about Jesus. Jesus was behind the miracle; Jesus was demonstrating the power of God. (Remember this was the very purpose of Jesus, to win Peter’s loyalty and willingness to become a disciple on a full-time basis.) What happened is a little humorous when we remember what Jesus was doing with Peter, and Peter’s reluctance and objection, weariness and exhaustion.

There was a sense in which the Lord was really laying it on Peter, really letting him have it. Peter thought he was tired, but he didn’t know what exhaustion was yet. The Lord must have stood to the side smiling to Himself. How our Lord loved this man Peter, even now! He was after Peter’s loyalty, and He was going to get it even if He had to make Peter drop in his tracks (which was exactly what was to happen, Luke 5:8). At any rate, there was some humor in what began to happen to this man who was so reluctant, moaning and groaning about his tiredness.

Just imagine Peter already bone weary, grumbling in his mind at this carpenter telling him, the skilled fisherman, how to fish. Imagine Peter’s exhaustion and weariness, reluctance and objection, moaning and groaning; and then all of a sudden a catch is made, a catch so great that he was going to have to work wearily along for hour upon hour.

  • Peter’s net broke.
  • Peter had to call for another whole crew and boat to help.
  • Both boats were filled as full as they could be.
  • Then to top it off, both boats began to sink.

Jesus had His man! What else was Peter to do other than what followed? In all the humor of the situation, our Lord’s heart was bound to be full of rejoicing because this big hunk of a fisherman, man though he was, was like a little child before the Lord. He was broken in humility before the Lord, and the experience was but the first of many experiences of brokenness yet to come.

Lk 5:8-10a — 8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

The fifth step to calling men is stirring a deep confession. Peter knew exactly what had happened. He had been reluctant and objected to the Lord’s request, and he had not been too happy that the great catch had caused so much trouble. But he was a skilled fisherman, and he knew that the great catch was no ordinary catch; it was a miracle of the Lord, a miracle which the Lord was using to teach him that he was to obey without reluctance and objection.

Note exactly what happened. When Peter saw the boat beginning to sink, he raced over to Jesus, fell upon his knees, and in a sense (continuing the humor) said, “Lord, I’ve had enough. Let me alone. I’ll do anything.”

His confession was threefold.

  1. He confessed his sin of disobedience and unbelief: of being reluctant to obey the Lord, of questioning the Lord’s will and knowledge and power.
  1. He confessed Jesus to be the Lord. Note that Peter had previously called Jesus “Master” (epistate, Luke 5:5), which is a word used to address anyone in authority. But Peter had learned better. He now called Jesus “Lord” (kurie). He is the Lord who is holy and convicting, who must be obeyed and followed.
  1. He confessed a fear, a reverence, an awe for the Lord (cp. Luke 5:9-10).

You would think that Peter would kind of like having Jesus around. After all, he is good for business. After they got their boats steadied and their hearts stopped pounding, Peter falls to his knees on a slimy pile of fish. He had just seen Jesus, really seen him, for who he is. He says, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” A couple things ought to be observed. (1) Peter is thinking correctly. He, unlike the crowds, is not selfishly seeking a miracle. He is thinking about what it really meant to be in the presence of perfect purity. Jesus’ purity demands obedience and ushers in judgment. (2) Peter is responding out of fear of the presence of God himself. It was a fearful miracle to him.

The people on the banks are no doubt laughing and cheering and selling souvenir T-shirts, but they were not in the boats that almost sank. They were not so personally touched by this miracle as Peter and Co. Besides, this is one professional fisherman who understands the power of the lake and majesty of this miracle. As Jesus saw through the waters to the fish, so he saw through Peter into the depths of his heart.

Lk 5:10b-11 with Mt 4:19-20, Mk 1:17-18 — Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; [follow meMT,MK] from now on you will catch men.” 11So [at onceMT,MK] they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

Mt 4:21-22 with Mk 1:20 — 21Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. [Without delayMK] Jesus called them, 22and immediately they left the boat and their father [in the boat with the hired menMK] and followed him.

The sixth step to calling men is challenging men to discipleship, that is, to catch other men. Note two significant facts.

  1. The words “fear not” (me phobon) indicate that Peter was actually scared and frightened. Jesus was calming him, telling him to trust and stop fearing. He, the Lord, was in charge and looking after everything.
  2. The call to Peter was to “catch men.” The word “catch” (zogreo) means to catch alive or to catch for life. The idea is that Peter was no longer to catch (fish) for death, but he was to catch (men) for life.

Once the disciples are back on the shore the crowds would gather and start to count the fish as they were sorted. Peter’s employees (Mk 1:20), would no doubt start cleaning their nets (again). It is at this time that Jesus uses their present occupation to call them in a way that they can visualize—Fishers of Men. Like other analogies, not all points of comparison are applicable. Jesus is not asking them to trap or capture men, but simply to collect them into the kingdom of God. Peter and Andrew respond to Jesus’ call.

Luke departs here from the other synoptic writers. Matthew and Mark both say, “I will make you fishers of men.” The word Luke uses does not mean to fish but to take live captives. It is used only one other time (2 Tim 2:26). There it describes how we rescue from Satan those whom he has caught alive. This call is one of battle. We tread behind enemy lines to free the captives whom Satan has seized.

The three men walk a short distance farther and encounter their partners, James and John. They are sitting with their father, Zebedee, in their stout fishing boat, also cleaning their nets and repairing the torn spots from this massive catch. Jesus also calls them and they likewise respond, leaving their father in the boat with the hired servants (Mk 1:20).6-8 Of these latter two, we observe that James was the first Apostolic martyr whose death is recorded in Acts 12. And John was the last surviving Apostle as he writes Revelation about a.d. 95, and according to tradition, the only Apostle who died a natural death.

I don’t suppose that Zebedee was any too happy to be left to clean up by himself. Of course, their business was big enough to have hired servants to do most of the dirty work. It may seem unkind for these two sons to leave their father with the family business, but such is the nature of discipleship (cf. Mt 10:37).

This call may seem too sudden to merit such a response. But we must remember that these four have already traveled with Jesus for about a year now (cf. Jn 1:35-51), and have just witnessed a miraculous catch of fish. Jesus enters into their domain and proves his power. He now calls them into his domain to be empowered to fish for men. What else is there to do when such a one as Jesus calls you to his vocation?

Jesus’ call of these men is unique: (1) There is already antagonism against Jesus in Jerusalem. They know there will be danger in following this man. (2) He calls them to abandon their occupations, which are lucrative, popular, and steady. This is a tremendous step of faith for them. (3) Jesus calls them, not to a new doctrine but to a new direction. The contemporary rabbis considered it a sacred duty to gather students about them. Jesus, however, doesn’t ask them to come and learn, but to come and do, or rather to come and be. The flicker of the kingdom begins to flair.

Accept the limitations of human efforts and plans. Peter, Andrew, James and John did all they knew to do and still had come up empty. While God gave us brains to think with, sometimes we don’t have enough cleverness on our own to do the job.

Trust the word of Jesus even if it doesn’t make sense.

How do you think these fisherman felt, taking advice from a carpenter turned preacher? Didn’t they know fishing? It was their business. Still, there was something in Jesus that caused them to trust him. He did not, of course, ask them to do something immoral, just something that did not seem to make sense.

Be willing to take risks.

When Jesus asked them to go out, it was into the deep water. Every great enterprise takes some risk.

Persevere even through disappointment and fatigue.

The fishermen were tired, but willing to do their part. They were discouraged, but willing to try again.

Remember the importance of teamwork.

As success came, they had to share the burden. Since Jesus was the ultimate focus, it didn’t matter who got the credit.

Remember, God can give us more than we ask or imagine.

The catch of fish was even greater than they would have expected. Our God delights in surprising us.

Be humble in your success

Peter did not take credit for the success. In fact, he humbled himself before God and came face to face with His own unworthiness.

Conclusion

Remember after Jesus’ resurrection, Peter, in the throes of regret, decided to go back to fishing. Peter no doubt felt he had failed. Jesus came to him again and did a similar miracle. He evidently never forgot the lesson. He went from that place to become a great fisher of men. He became a spiritual success, and so can you. You know the secrets.

Illustration

Think of how a bird must feel the first time it is pushed from the nest by its mother. The feeling must begin with fear, but as the bird stretches its wings and soars, it becomes exhilaration. Risk is a part of all achievement. A risk-free life is terribly dull.

Runners describe a feeling called the “runners high.” It only comes after the runner has pushed past his fatigue and kept on going when every cell of his body is yelling for him to stop. The feeling of exhaustion yields to the feeling of euphoria. It happens only if we are willing to keep on going when we feel like quitting.

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2015 in Encouragement

 

How to Keep Hope Alive During a Marriage Crisis


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During a marriage crisis, you can feel like your whole world is falling apart and all of your dreams are being shattered. Hearing the words “I don’t love you anymore,” “I want a divorce,” or “I don’t know if I want to stay married” can leave you reeling from the shock.

Marriage-CrisisMany feelings surface after the initial stunned reaction: anger, fear, anxiety, confusion, resentment, bitterness, desperation, and depression. Everything seems mixed up and slightly unreal, as though this is really happening to someone else, not to you. But, unbelievably, it is happening to you.

This is when you have to use every ounce of courage and strength that you possess and a lot that you didn’t know you had until now. Immediately, you have to create space for some private time so that you can take care of yourself, regroup, and create a plan of action.

You might need to take a day off from work, spend some time talking with a close friend, buy a notebook and start writing down your feelings and thoughts, or take a long walk in the park. Another option is to call and schedule a counseling appointment for yourself as soon as possible.

Next, spend some time thinking about how you’ll handle the situation. Your goal is to buy time so that your spouse doesn’t bolt out of the door prematurely. You want to slow things down so that your spouse can have time to reconsider and, if at all possible, agree to go to counseling with you.

During this time of crisis, you will have to be the “guardian of the marriage flame.” It will be up to you to keep hope and love alive so that the fire won’t go out. You can complain that it’s not fair and that it shouldn’t be this way.

But the bottom line is that if you want to save your marriage and your partner wants out, it’s going to be up to you to take positive action. During the crisis, you’ll need to be willing to do much more than your fair share to keep your marriage alive.

And that means that despite your fear and anxiety, it’s up to you to keep hope alive—hope that your marriage will make it—hope that your partner will change his or her mind—hope that your marriage can survive this and be even better than ever.

Here are some tips on how to keep hope alive and cope during this time:

  1. Don’t give up on your marriage no matter what your spouse has said. People often change their mind. No situation is hopeless if at least one partner is willing to do whatever it truly takes to preserve the marriage.

There is always hope that your marriage can be transformed by loving energy. Many spouses reconsider their initial impulse to leave and decide that they have invested too much time and energy to just throw their marriage away without at least trying marriage counseling.

  1. Don’t take everything your spouse says personally. People often say extreme things when they are upset or trying to justify what they’re doing. A partner who feels guilty about telling you she wants a divorce may get really angry instead. A spouse who has never expressed his true feelings about things may finally explode with a long list of your faults through the years.
  1. Really anchor in your mind that how you react to the situation will have a major impact on how things go from here. If you keep badgering a spouse who wants some emotional space, you are giving her the perfect excuse to go ahead and leave. You can’t control what your spouse chooses to do or not to do, but you can control how you choose to handle the situation.
  1. Allow yourself to be “confused.” If your spouse asks what you’re going to do next, just say that you’re confused and need time to think, that you don’t want to make any rushed decisions. Being “confused” can defuse a spouse who is just waiting to pick a fight. It also buys you some time.
  1. Honor your spouse’s request for emotional space, if that is an issue. Back off and take some time to regroup, stabilize yourself, and take the spotlight off of your partner for the time being. You have much to lose if you let your anxiety take over and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.
  1. Make a list of all the different things you can do to ground yourself and get more balanced emotionally and physically. Include things like working out at the gym, getting a massage, walking or hiking, letting close friends be supportive, listening to inspirational tapes on the way to work, reading books about people who have survived hard times, receiving power from your spiritual roots and connections, attending services at your church, temple, or mosque, or starting individual counseling sessions. Then make plans to implement the ones you think will help the most.
  1. Decide that whatever happens in your marriage, it’s important to you to know that you gave it your best shot and that you tried everything you knew to do. So instead of trying to constantly try to figure out what the odds are that your marriage will survive, instead put your energy into doing what you can in a helpful way every day. Be proactive and take positive action.
  1. Start expanding your life to include some new interests and activities. Don’t wait until everything is settled about your marriage before you start enjoying as much of your life as you can. Your marriage situation may be unresolved, but that doesn’t mean you need to brood and obsess about it all the time. Stretch yourself to broaden your world. When you are enjoying yourself by participating in activities that interest you, you become more interesting to others, including your spouse.
  1. Make a conscious choice to remain positive and to have the expectation that something good and helpful will come out of this experience in the long run. Your expectation will affect what happens. If you are doubtful, the energy of doubt will permeate your efforts. Tell yourself that there’s always a creative solution to any problem. Trust in your ability to be creative, flexible, and resilient.
 
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Posted by on August 10, 2015 in Marriage

 

A ‘life lesson’ from a mayonnaise jar


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th (1) When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.  The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.  The students laughed.  “Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represthents your life.

The golf balls are the important things – God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained,  your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else —  the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So… pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. “Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.”  It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2015 in Encouragement

 

A Smile for Married Folks…


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HIS: Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged. “You’re being unreasonable,”

Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded. “Counting your ribs,” said Eve.

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husband and wife jokes(1)HERS: A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaked up behind him and whacked him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

 MAN: “What was that for?”

 WIFE: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?”

 MAN: “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.”

 The wife looked satisfied, apologized, and went off to work around the house. Three days later the man was once again sitting in his chair reading and his wife repeated the frying pan swatting.

 MAN: “What was that for this time?”

 WIFE: “Your horse called.”

 “. . . be sure your sin will find you out ” – Numbers 32:23

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2015 in Family, Marriage

 

Prayer for the Children


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 We pray for the children who …

… sneak popsicles before supper,

… erase holes in their math workbooks and can never find their shoes.No Fear

 

We pray for the children who …

… don’t know how to run down the street in a new pair of sneakers,

… are born in places where we wouldn’t be caught dead,

… and, have never been to the circus.

 

We pray for the children who …

… bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,

… hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

 

We pray for the children who …

… never get dessert or have a “safe” blanket to drag behind them,

… watch their parents watch them die,

… can’t find bread to steal,

… don’t have any rooms to clean up,

… don’t have pictures on anybody’s dresser, and

… whose monsters are real.

 

We pray for the children who …

… spend all their allowance before Tuesday,

… throw tantrums in the store and pick at their food,

… like ghost stories and shove dirty clothes under the bed,

… never rinse out the tub and get visits from the tooth fairy, and

… whose tears we sometimes laugh at and smiles can make us cry.

 

We pray for the children who …

… whose nightmares come in the daytime,

… will eat anything and have never seen a dentist,

… aren’t spoiled by anybody, and

… go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep.

 

We pray for the children who …

… want to be carried and for those who must, and

… we never give up on and for those who don’t get a second chance.

 

We pray for the children who …

… we smother, and

… will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

 

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2015 in Family

 

Research shows parenting approach determines whether children become devoted Christians


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In 2007, George Barna released a new book on a familiar topic, based on an unusual research study that indicates that there are six critical dimensions involved in raising children to become spiritual champions.

family and crossIn a newly published study on raising children, entitled Revolutionary Parenting, the renowned researcher serves up the latest in a long line of books that have been written on the topic. Barna noted that there are so many books on the subject that it would require releasing ten new books about parenting every day of the year for each of the next 21 years to equal the total number of volumes already available!

Reluctant to add to the glut, the award-winning author nevertheless produced his latest book because his research among children and parents produced such significant results that it seemed inappropriate not to publish the work.

Distinctive Research

Most research on parenting has relied upon psychological theories or cultural expectations as the foundation for recommendations. In contrast, Barna’s latest work is based on a multi-year study among children who have grown up to reflect specific characteristics.

“Our strategy was to start by identifying desirable attributes that parents would want to see in their children, then work backwards from the existence of those attributes in young adults to figure out what produced them. We expected that studying people in their twenties who exhibited such qualities would reveal some common practices that the parents of such children had implemented,” Barna explained. “We surveyed thousands of young adults in order to identify several hundred whose lives reflected the desired outcomes, then interviewed both them and their parents to determine the relevant parenting perspectives and practices. The result was not only clear but quite challenging.”

Another unique feature of Barna’s research was the assumption that people are created primarily for spiritual purposes. Consequently, the young adults who formed the foundation of the study met some unusual standards:

  1. Knowing, loving, and serving God was identified as their top priority in life.
  2. They described their faith in God as being of the highest importance.
  3. Each of these young adults possessed a “biblical worldview,” based on their responses to a series of questions about their view of life. In essence, they contend that absolute moral truth exists; such truth is defined in the Bible; God is the all-knowing and all-powerful creator and ruler of the universe; faith in Jesus Christ is the only means to salvation; Satan is a real being; Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; and all of the principles taught in the Bible are true and accurate.
  4. They believe that their main purpose in life is to love God with all their heart, mind and strength.
  5. They are currently active in a vibrant community of faith, as demonstrated by their consistent engagement in worship, prayer, Bible study and spiritual accountability.

One of the most sobering outcomes of the research was that less than one out of every ten young adults in the U.S. meets these simple criteria.

Upon identifying a sample of people between the ages of 21 and 29 who satisfied these standards, Barna’s research team then conducted extensive interviews with them regarding how they were raised. After finishing those conversations, the researchers proceeded to interview the parents of those young adults, seeking additional insights into the tactics used by those parents.

“It’s one thing for a professional to write about theoretical approaches or for someone to describe their personal ideas or experiences on how to raise a child,” the California-based author explained. “It’s quite another thing, however, to identify a desired outcome and work backwards to uncover its genesis, in order to figure out the likely causes of such an outcome. I chose the latter approach because theories should be the product of outcomes. Unfortunately, much of the literature about parenting is based on theories or experiences that are divorced from significant scientific proof that they produce the desired result.”

Three Types of Parenting

In Revolutionary Parenting, Barna notes that there are three dominant approaches to parenting currently operative in the United States.

Parenting by default is what Barna termed “the path of least resistance.” In this approach, parents do whatever comes naturally to the parent, as influenced by cultural norms and traditions. The objective is to keep everyone – parent, child, and others – as happy as possible, without having the process of parenting dominate other important or prioritized aspects of the parent’s life.

Trial-and-error parenting is a common alternative. This approach is based on the notion that every parent is an amateur at raising children, there are no absolute guidelines to follow, and that the best that parents can do is to experiment, observe outcomes, and improve based upon their successes and failures in child rearing. In this incremental approach, the goals of parenting are to continually improve and to perform better than most other parents.

Barna found that revolutionary parenting was the least common approach. Such nurturing requires the parent to take God’s words on life and family at face value, and to apply those words faithfully and consistently.

Perhaps the most startling difference in these approaches has to do with the desired outcomes. “Parenting by default and trial-and-error parenting are both approaches that enable parents to raise their children without the effort of defining their life,” Barna explained.

“Revolutionary parenting, which is based on one’s faith in God, makes parenting a life priority. Those who engage in revolutionary parenting define success as intentionally facilitating faith-based transformation in the lives of their children, rather than simply accepting the aging and survival of the child as a satisfactory result.”

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2015 in counsel

 

Household/children ‘management’ tips…


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I have finally taken the time to offer some household/children ‘management’ tips that we used when our children were younger….proved effective as we all grew together in these areas.

helpful-tips-image-web-design-sydney1. “First Call.” We used the words ‘first call’ when it was 5-10 minutes before time to sit down for a meal. It means all those who were in the house planning to eat were to get their hands washed and be close to the kitchen so when it was time to sit down for the “second call” we were there ready to sit down and eat.

2. “Coming.” We have lived in a few places where we were comfortable allowing the children to play ‘in the woods’ or ‘down the street’ away from the house. We wish we had owned a loud bell or whistle, but our voices worked most of the time. Our instructions: when we called one of the children’s names, their only response that was needed or acceptable: “coming.” Not ‘what?’ Not ‘what do you want?’ Nothing but: “coming.” And, of course, they would then immediately begin coming home.

3. “Dust busters.” On a regular basis, we had a collective effort to “gain control” of our family rooms but setting a 10-minute alarm and every person in the house would work as hard and efficiently as possible to vacuum, straighten, dust, etc., the main rooms in the house. It is simply amazing the work that 5 people could accomplish in what was actually 50 minutes, as I look back at it.

Incidentally, we also expected our children to work in their rooms at least once a week to “let us see the floor.” How it looked during jesusinthehomethe week mattered less to us (respecting their teen years and privacy) but we did need to have the rooms cleaner, etc. They were also pretty wise to realize that it helped that they kept their doors closed most of the days in between those cleaning opportunities.

4. “Cutting the cake.” Sometimes the children would be ultra-competitive, and it would show itself in the kitchen occasionally…even to the point of who got the biggest piece of cake.’ We decided a good way to defuse the situation was to have a different one cut the cake into pieces, and then the different ones would get to choose theirs first…the cutter the last piece that time. Of course, the one doing the cutting would be very-y-y-y careful to cut them the same size so he would get a ‘fair amount.’

* TJ and I would both greatly appreciate any comments offered that would add to this list…for the good of other parents out there.

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2015 in Family

 

The Anatomy of a Backslider


Learning From One Who Knows By Experience

In 2 Peter 2:20-22 we read of the real possibility and serious consequences of backsliding:
“If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. {21} It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. {22} Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.””

backsliderIt is interesting that we find this passage coming from the inspired pen of Peter…for if anyone knew “firsthand” the reality and dangers of backsliding, it was Peter! He discovered these truths the night he denied Jesus!

The process of backsliding is a gradual one, often overtaking a person by surprise; and lest we fall from our own steadfastness…we shall carefully examine the process that led to Peter’s denial of Christ.
Notice how Peter’s own words in his epistles are designed to prevent the same from happening to us!

THE ANATOMY OF A BACKSLIDER
A. PRIDE – Mark 14:27-31: “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ {28} But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into
Galilee.” {29} Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.” {30} “I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “today–yes, tonight–before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” {31} But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.”

1. In a boastful manner, Peter claims he will not fall away or deny Christ!
2. In doing so, Peter takes the first step in backsliding: “pride”! – cf. Prov. 16:18
3. Why is this the “first” step? Because the first step in entering the kingdom is humility – Mt 18:3-4. So if we lose “humility”, we take that first step backward
4. Paul’s advice to the Corinthians is very apropos in this regard – cf. _1 Co 10:11

B. LAZINESS – Mark 14:32-42: “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” {33} He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. {34} “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” {35} Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. {36} “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for
you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” {37} Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? {38} Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” {39} Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. {40} When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him. {41}
Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. {42} Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!””

1. Told to keep watch, Peter kept falling asleep
2. It was therefore lack of diligent preparation which caused him to be caught off guard for what was to follow
3. The same thing can happen to us! Without diligence, we too can be found unprepared – Luke 21:34-36. More often than not, it is a “gradual drifting” that catches us off guard – Heb. 2:1-3. But when we are proud of ourselves, we become lazy, and that easily leads to the next step…

C. COWARDICE – Mark 14:54: “Peter followed him at a distance, right into
the courtyard of the high priest. There he sat with the guards and warmed
himself at the fire.”

1. Note that it says “…Peter followed Him at a distance”
2. Now that Jesus had become unpopular…
a. Peter stays far enough away so as not to be identified with
Him
b. Peter was unprepared for the challenge of facing ridicule and
persecution
3. Without diligent preparation, we too can become guilty of
cowardice!
a. Ashamed to be seen carrying a Bible
b. Ashamed to be seen giving thanks
c. Ashamed to be seen with other Christians
d. Perhaps even ashamed to let others know that we are
Christians!
4. And yet, Jesus has made it clear what He thinks of “cowardice”
Mark 8:38; Rev. 21:8
5. When we are ashamed of Christ, it is natural for to fall into
the next step of backsliding…

D. WORLDLINESS – Mark 14:54: “Peter followed him at a distance, right
into the courtyard of the high priest. There he sat with the guards and
warmed himself at the fire.”

1. We now find Peter sitting with the servants of the High Priest
and warming himself by the fire
2. Ashamed to be seen with Christ, it becomes easy to mingle with
those of the world and enjoy their comforts
3. But one cannot be “comforted by the fire” of the world, and not
be “burned”!
a. Close contact with that which can harm has its effects! –
Prov. 6:27-29
b. So it is we cannot “flirt with the world” and walk away
untouched! – 1 Cor. 15:33
4. By the time we become “friends with the world”, it is only a
short time before we take the next and final step of backsliding…

E. DENIAL – Mark 14:66-71: “While Peter was below in the courtyard, one
of the servant girls of the high priest came by. {67} When she saw Peter
warming himself, she looked closely at him. “You also were with that
Nazarene, Jesus,” she said. {68} But he denied it. “I don’t know or
understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the
entryway. {69} When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to
those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” {70} Again he denied
it. After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you
are one of them, for you are a Galilean.” {71} He began to call down
curses on himself, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re
talking about.””

1. Away from Christ, at comfort with those in the world, Peter
finds himself denying His Lord and Savior!
2. In so doing, he has put himself in grave danger – Matt. 10:32-33
3. Though we may never actually deny Jesus in “words”, we can
easily backslide to the point of denying Him in “action”…
a. We are called to worship Him…but make excuses why we cannot
b. We are called to serve Him…but render little or no service
c. We are called to stand by His side and suffer for His
name…but stand afar off in the safety of the world’s comfort

[When we deny the Lord, our backsliding is complete; unless we repent,
the only thing left is to one day face the Lord, where we will fully
realize the error of our ways!

For Peter, he fully realized his sin when the Lord turned and looked at
him there in the courtyard:
Luke 22:60-62: “Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking
about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. {61} The Lord turned
and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had
spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three
times.” {62} And he went outside and wept bitterly.”

Imagine the feeling in Peter’s heart as those eyes of His Savior pierced
his soul! Like
Judas, Peter wept bitterly over his sin.

Unlike Judas, Peter had “godly sorrow” that results in true repentance (2
Cor. 7:10-11). And years later, we find Peter writing the sort of things
that would prevent us from making the same mistake he did…]

ADVICE FROM ONE WHO LEARNED THE HARD WAY
A. TO GUARD AGAINST “PRIDE”…
1. Peter enjoins “humility” – 1 Peter 5:5-6
2. Indeed, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble”

B. TO WARD AGAINST “LAZINESS”…
1. Peter commands “diligence” – 1 Peter 5:8-9
2. Note especially his words in his second epistle – 2 Peter
1:5,10; 3:14

C. INSTEAD OF “COWARDICE”…
1. Peter charges us to “glorify God” – 1 Peter 4:16
2. Think not of what it means to you, but what it means to God!

D. INSTEAD OF “WORLDLINESS”…
1. Peter tells us to “abstain” – 1 Peter 2:11-12
2. Remember that we are “sojourners and pilgrims”, destined for a
better place than the things of this world have to offer!

E. INSTEAD OF “DENIAL”…
1. Peter exhorts us to ever be ready to “give a defense” – 1 Peter
3:15
2. By careful preparation, we will “defend” Christ, and not “deny”
Christ!

1240991527CONCLUSION
1. From one who learned by the hard road of experience, let’s heed his
advice lest we one day backslide ourselves, and in so doing deny the
Lord! – 2 Peter 3:17-18

2. Remember too that when Peter saw the eyes of his Lord, he realized the
error of his way…
a. Fortunately for him, there was still time to repent
b. But for us, when we see Jesus “face to face”, the time to repent
will be gone…it will be the time for judgment!

3. If we realize that we are guilty of backsliding…
a. Repent now, do not wait until you stand before Jesus
b. Do it now, so that your “face to face” encounter with Jesus will be
terrific, not terrifying!

 
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Posted by on July 20, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Allegiance to Christ (presented at Youth Camp 2015)


* presented to our 125-plus campers and adults at Youth Camp, 2015

One day a young man was writing a letter to his girl friend who lived just a few miles away in a nearby town. Among other things, he was telling her how much he loved her and how wonderful he thought she was.

The more he wrote, the more poetic he became. Finally, he said that in order to be with her he would suffer the greatest difficulties, he would face the greatest dangers that anyone could imagine. In fact, to spend only one minute with her, he would climb the highest mountain in the world. He would swim across the widest river. He would enter the deepest forest and with his bare hands fight against the fiercest animals.

thHe finished the letter, signed his name, and then suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to mention something quite important. So he added: P.S. I will be over to see you Wednesday night as long as it doesn’t rain.

Well, I am not so sure that this man was as dedicated to the relationship as he thought he was.

Allegiance (dictionary.com); 1. the Allegiance of a citizen to his or her government or of a subject to his or her sovereign. 2. Allegiance or devotion to some person, group, cause, or the like.

Many adults in our congregations do not provide the proper influence: Every congregation has a problem with allegiance. Fifteen percent of the membership give 85 percent of the contributions; 15 percent of the membership do 85 percent of the work. We need to do better, don’t we? Many are choosing too often sporting events, entertainment activities, or family events ahead of church meetings that are weekly a part of our congregational schedules.

Just curious, as we begin: will you be part of this effort to make a change?

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man?” (Prov. 20:6).

Millions of people will profess allegiance to Christ. But who is truly loyal to him? The proverb says that most who claim to be good and loyal are not. Are you truly loyal to Christ? Am I?

Even the apostle Peter wavered in his loyalty to the Lord after His arrest. Peter beforehand told the Lord, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You” (Matt. 26:35). Yet we read further on in the chapter and see that Peter denied the Lord three times (Mt. 26:69-75). It is far easier to claim allegiance to Christ than to actually show it in the face of trials and conflicts.

Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other” (Mt. 6:24). We cannot be loyal to Christ and loyal to another master.

Luke 5:1-11 (NIV)
1  One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God,
2  he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets.
3  He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
4  When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
5  Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
6  When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.
7  So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8  When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”
9  For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken,
10  and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.”
11  So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

The Gospels are filled with a variety of responses to Jesus. Some people were curious about Him; others were impressed by His teachings; still others were astonished by His deeds.

Some people came to see or receive a miracle. Others came to hear His wisdom in hopes that they would live wiser as a result.

But all of these responses fell short of Jesus’ radical request to follow Him. That’s what a Christian is: A “Christ-follower.” We forsake our allegiance to this world, we follow Jesus, and we win others to Him. According to the Gospel of Luke, that’s what the first disciples did when they encountered Jesus: “They left everything and followed Him.”

Reading Mark 8:34-37 in Eugene Peterson’s The Message (published by NavPress), offers some additional color: Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

You just read the price tag of discipleship. How much does it cost? Everything.

Matthew 20:20-28 (ESV)
20  Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something.
21  And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.”
22  Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.”
23  He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
24  And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers.
25  But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.
26  It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,
27  and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,
28  even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

I present these verses different than most. Yes, they did not understand the nature of the kingdom, and yes, it was not their’s to ask for…BUT this mother wanted her sons to work for the Lord of Lord and King of Kings…and Jesus acknowledged that they would “drink my cup,” which is not small thing!

Acts is a book of change. It records a time of decision-making, a time to “obey now” or to reject the call of Jesus. It reveals the apostles’ continual quests for answers and their urgent pleas for men and women to respond to the drawing power of the grace of God.

The reader is struck with the truth that the story of Jesus called for drastic and immediate changes. This book tenders no middle ground—no safe haven for the one who delays a decision, no comfort for the doubter, no sympathy for the one who wants to try some middle-of-the-road solution.

Each story tells of either firm commitment or rejection, sometimes even angry rejection that turned into persecution for the preacher. This is reminiscent of Jesus’ strong statement “He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters” (Matthew 12:30).

Acts is a book about courage and commitment, not compromise and convenience! It is a book of crusading for Christ; it is a stirring account of commitment to a cause. Though costly, sometimes even to the giving of one’s life, faithful following of Jesus is demonstrated fully in this book.

No sacrifice was too great for the disciples when they considered the sacrifices already made by the Father and His Son. Each case of conversion in Acts was a costly commitment. Jesus had said that commitment to Him would first take self-denial (Matthew 16:24).

Jesus accepts no less than our best. Half-and-half Christianity is insufficient.  Friendship with the world is “hostility toward God” (James 4:4). The only way to follow Jesus is to do so wholeheartedly, 100 percent, being absolutely and totally given to His service. The great and first commandment is still to love God with one’s whole heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37, 38).

Matthew 10:16-39 (NIV)
16  I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
17  “Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues.
18  On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles.
19  But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say,
20  for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
21  “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.
22  All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
23  When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. I tell you the truth, you will not finish going through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24  “A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master.
25  It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!
26  “So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.
27  What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
28  Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
29  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.
30  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
32  “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. 33  But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.
34  “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35  For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law–
36  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
37  “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38  and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

What Happened to the Apostles?

We talk today about the ‘doubt’ of John the Baptist and Thomas. Lest we speak too harshly, it would be good for us to realize their life was everything we’d want ours to be: faithful to the end! The apostles were promised they would be persecuted, and some would have to drink the cup of death (Matthew 10:25; 20:23; Mark 14:31, 36; John 13:37; 15:20, 17:1); history and tradition also tell us that the apostles gave their lives for Christ:

  • James the son of Zebedee (James the Great) felt Herod’s sword in 44 A.D., the first apostle to die (Acts 12).
  • Philip, after preaching in upper Asia, was scourged, thrown in prison, and then crucified in 54 A.D. at Heliopolis in Phrygia.
  • Matthew, after preaching in Parthia and in Ethiopia, was slain in A.D. 60 by a halberd at Nadabah, Ethiopia.
  • James the Less, at 94 years, after being beaten and stoned by the Jews, “finally had his brains dashed out with a fuller’s club.”
  • As to Peter, “Jerome saith that he was crucified, his head being down and his feet upward, himself so requiring, because he was [he said] unworthy to be crucified after the same form and manner as the Lord was.”
  • Jude (Thaddeus), brother of James the Less, was crucified at Edessa, 72 A.D.
  • Bartholomew, after preaching in India, was “cruelly beaten and then crucified by the impatient idolaters.”
  • Thomas’ ministry in Parthia and India was ended with a spear thrust.
  • Simon Zelotes evangelized in Mauritania, Africa, and Britain before his crucifixion in 74 A.D.
  • Matthias was stoned at Jerusalem and then beheaded.
  • Andrew’s service was in Asia; at Edessa he was baptized in suffering, being “crucified on a cross, the two ends of which were fixed transversely in the ground.”
  • The beloved John, at the command of anti-christ Domitian, was exiled “in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9). After being recalled from Patmos by Domitian’s successor, Nerva, John died peacefully (cf. John 21 :22-23).
  • After Paul had been stoned, left for dead, beaten with rods, jailed for years, he still aspired to “fill up . . . that which is lacking of the afflictions of Christ” in his flesh (Colossians 1 :24). He is said to have been beheaded by Nero in Rome. (by Hugo McCord, The Beatitudes)

Romans 8:18 (ESV)
18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)
38  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The young man said nothing else as he stood before the Roman governor, his life hanging in the balance. His accusers pressed him again, hoping to trip him up or force him to recant. But once more he answered with the same short phrase. “I am a Christian.”

It was the middle of the second century, during the reign of emperor Marcus Aurelius.1 Christianity was illegal, and believers throughout the Roman Empire faced the threat of imprisonment, torture, or death. Persecution was especially intense in southern Europe, where Sanctus, a deacon from Vienna, had been arrested and brought to trial. The young man was repeatedly told to renounce the faith he professed. But his resolve was undeterred. “I am a Christian.”

No matter what question he was asked, he always gave the same unchanging answer. According to the ancient church historian Eusebius, Sanctus “girded himself against [his accusers] with such firmness that he would not even tell his name, or the nation or city to which he belonged, or whether he was bond or free, but answered in the Roman tongue to all their questions, ‘I am a Christian.’ ”

…When at last it became obvious that he would say nothing else, he was condemned to severe torture and a public death in the amphitheater. On the day of his execution, he was forced to run the gauntlet, subjected to wild beasts, and fastened to a chair of burning iron. Throughout all of it, his accusers kept trying to break him, convinced that his resistance would crack under the pain of torment. But as Eusebius recounted, “Even thus they did not hear a word from Sanctus except the confession which he had uttered from the beginning.”3 His dying words told of an undying commitment. His rallying cry remained constant throughout his entire trial. “I am a Christian.”

For Sanctus, his whole identity—including his name, citizenship, and social status—was found in Jesus Christ. Hence, no better answer could have been given to the questions he was asked. He was a Christian, and that designation defined everything about him.

This same perspective was shared by countless others in the early church. It fueled their witness, strengthened their resolve, and confounded their opponents. When arrested, these courageous believers would confidently respond as Sanctus had, with a succinct assertion of their loyalty to Christ. MacArthur, John. “Slave.” Thomas Nelson, 2010-12-28

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Allegiance is a great thought! The most precious commodity is Allegiance. It thrills us. A beautiful story comes out of World War II. It was in the heat of battle; it was terrible. Anybody out on the battlefield was going to die. The word came that a certain boy had been shot and was dying. This boy had a friend back behind the lines whom he had saved at one time. He came and said, Sir, I am going out because my friend is shot and will die. The commanding officer said, You are crazy. You are nuts.

The boy said, I have to go. He said, I will not stand in your way. If you feel you need to go out, then go. He left and the battle raged on and many were shot and killed. But, finally, the boy came back. The commanding officer said, You are stupid. You could have died. That boy was shot and he was going to die. Why jeopardize your life? But the friend had an answer. He said, Sir, I went out and it was bad. I came upon my friend in his dying moments. He looked up at me and said, I knew that you would come.

In that one statement is all that life is worth. I knew that you would come. That is Allegiance. When a man looks at you and makes that statement, it is the greatest tribute he can pay you.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS

The First Persecution, Under Nero, AD 67

The first persecution of the Church took place in the year 67, under Nero, the sixth emperor of Rome. This monarch reigned for the space of five years, with tolerable credit to himself, but then gave way to the greatest extravagancy of temper, and to the most atrocious barbarities.

Among other diabolical whims, he ordered that the city of Rome should be set on fire, which order was executed by his officers, guards, and servants. While the imperial city was in flames, he went up to the tower of Macaenas, played upon his harp, sung the song of the burning of Troy, and openly declared that ‘he wished the ruin of all things before his death.’ Besides the noble pile, called the Circus, many other palaces and houses were consumed; several thousands perished in the flames, were smothered in the smoke, or buried beneath the ruins.

This dreadful conflagration continued nine days. When Nero, finding that his conduct was greatly blamed, and a severe odium cast upon him, determined to lay the whole upon the Christians, at once to excuse himself and have an opportunity of glutting his sight with new cruelties.

This was the occasion of the first persecution; and the barbarities exercised on the Christians were such as even excited the commiseration of the Romans themselves. Nero even refined upon cruelty, and contrived all manner of punishments for the Christians that the most infernal imagination could design.

In particular he had some sewed up in skins of wild beasts, and then worried by dogs until they expired; and others dressed in shirts made stiff with wax, fixed to axletrees, and set on fire in his gardens, in order to illuminate them. This persecution was general throughout the whole Roman Empire, but it rather increased than diminished the spirit of Christianity. In the course of it, St. Paul and St. Peter were martyred.

The Second Persecution, Under Domitian, AD 81

The emperor Domitian, who was naturally inclined to cruelty, first slew his brother, and then raised the second persecution against the Christians. In his rage he put to death some of the Roman senators some through malice, and others to confiscate their estates. He then commanded all the lineage of David to be put to death.

A law was made, “That no Christian, once brought before the tribunal, should be exempted from punishment: without renouncing his religion.” A variety of fabricated tales were, during this reign, composed in order to injure the Christians. Such was the infatuation of the pagans, that, if famine, pestilence, or earthquakes afflicted any of the Roman provinces, it was laid upon the Christians.

Another hardship was, that, when any Christians were brought before the magistrates, a test oath was proposed, when, if they refused to take it, death was pronounced against them; and if they confessed themselves Christians, the sentence was the same.

The Third Persecution, Under Trajan, AD 108

In the third persecution Pliny the Second, a man learned and famous, seeing the lamentable slaughter of Christians, and moved therewith to pity, wrote to Trajan, certifying him that there were many thousands of them daily put to death, of which none did anything contrary to the Roman laws worthy persecution.

“The whole account they gave of their crime or error (whichever it is to be called) amounted only to this –viz.. that they were accustomed on a stated day to meet before daylight, and to repeat together a form of prayer to Christ as a God, and to bind themselves by an obligation — not indeed to commit wickedness; but, on the contrary — never to commit theft, robbery, or adultery, never to falsify their word, never to defraud any man: after which it was their custom to separate, and reassemble to partake in common of a harmless meal.”

The Fourth Persecution, Under Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, AD 162

Polycarp, hearing that persons were seeking for him, escaped, but was discovered by a child. After feasting the guards who apprehended him, he desired an hour in prayer, which being allowed, he prayed with such fervency, that his guards repented that they had been instrumental in taking him. He was, however, carried before the proconsul, condemned, and burnt in the market place.

The proconsul then urged him, saying, “Swear, and I will release thee; — reproach Christ.”

Polycarp answered, “Eighty and six years have I served him, and he never once wronged me; how then shall I blaspheme my King, Who hath saved me?”

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Enhancing communication in Marriage


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In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It’s not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.

Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.

Communication SkillsYou may find that it’s difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.

Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.

Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non­verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:

* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;

* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;

* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;

* Not stopping what you’re doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;

* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;

* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;

* Tuning your spouse out because you’ve heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it’s the same old speech;

* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;

* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.

* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.

the-four-communication-skillsIt has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.

If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give.” While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2015 in Marriage