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How Old Are Grandpa and Grandma!!!

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This was shared by a good friend and thought it too interesting not to pass along to others…

Stay with this — the answer is at the end. It may blow you away. One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general..

The Grandfather replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
‘ television
‘ penicillin
‘ polio shots
‘ frozen foods
‘ Xerox
‘ contact lenses
‘ Frisbees and
‘ the pill

There were no:
‘ credit cards
‘ laser beams or
‘ ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
‘ pantyhose
‘ air conditioners
‘ dishwashers
‘ clothes dryers
‘ and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

‘ space travel was only in Flash Gordon books.

Your Grandmother and I got married first,… and then lived together.. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every woman older than me, “mam”. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, “Sir.” We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Bible, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege… We thought fast food was eating half a biscuit while running to catch the school bus. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan ‘ on it, it was junk the term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam…. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, … but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
‘ “grass” was mowed,
‘ “coke” was a cold drink,
‘ “pot” was something your mother cooked in and
‘ “rock music” was your grandmother’s lullaby.
‘ “Aids” were helpers in the Principal’s office,
‘ “chip” meant a piece of wood,
‘ “hardware” was found in a hardware store and
‘ “software” wasn’t even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap. or from the archives How old do you think I am? I bet you have this old man in mind….you are in for a shock! Read on to see — pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ?????

This man would be only 70 years old.

GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT… PASS THIS ON TO THE OLD ONES, THE YOUNG ONES WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

Thanks, Ronald.

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 22, 2015 in Sermon

Obedience: A major ingredient in our homes

18 May

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Obedience is vital in our home because it builds three essential ingredients within a child. It builds trust, respect, and responsibility. Without these ingredients, your child will be a social cripple and will be handicapped for life.

Proverbs 13:24: “He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

Proverbs 19:18: “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.”

“Any time your children will not follow your teaching, you are in trouble and they are in worse trouble. Furthermore, until you get your children to mind you, neither independence, good habits, work, communication, no togetherness will work for you. Having an autocratic family will come to a dead standstill if you don’t have obedience.”

Proverbs 20:11: “It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself If his conduct is pure and right.”

Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”

In previous posts, we were cautioned that training involves getting a child to follow your instructions…without begging, nagging, anger, and counting. We have now reached the point where you must learn how to accomplish getting this obedience. Are you a winner? Winners are parents who have reared or are rearing obedient children. Their children respect and honor them; they show it in their speech, manners, and actions.

I can remember a visit made a few years back that was important, and, after meeting and greeting the family, it was time for the adults to talk alone in the living room. At the time, two children were in the room watching television. The husband/father made a simple statement: “Boys, turn the TV off…we have to visit alone for a few minutes.” What did the boys do? Without hesitation (or begging or further explanation) they got up and obeyed their father. No talkback. No nasty attitude involved. What would you expect as parents? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way in many homes because the children are treated differently on a daily basis and don’t know how to act when “company arrives.” True obedience in this regard is: (a) immediate; (b) unquestioning, and (c) to the letter — no substitutions, additions, or omissions.

Let’s discuss ten basic facts that contribute to getting obedience in our homes:

To love and to discipline don’t conflict. The first fact you need to know before you can win the obedience race with your children is that to love is to discipline. “The greatest social disaster of this century is the belief that abundant love makes discipline unnecessary.” It is for the good of any child to have acceptable behavior and to be able to get along in the family, in the neighborhood, and at worship.
Punishment isn’t always discipline, but inflicted discipline is always punishment. There is a difference between pure punishment and true discipline. Punishment is pain or discomfort inflicted upon one. Now if pain or discomfort is inflicted upon a child for his welfare and to make him a better and more acceptable person, it is discipline. But if pain is inflicted on a child out of spite, anger, hate, or when a parent is in a rage, it is pure punishment.
We must work diligently to make them follow our instructions with a calm and firm hand and a loving spirit. Given this way, it will be discipline for the child’s sake and not an outlet for our own frustrations.
A child’s judgment takes years to develop. Children are children, and it takes months and years of living for their judgments to develop. One writer said: “On behalf of children everywhere, I beg of you, don’t terrify them with explanations. Just support them with facts. Don’t force a child to make decisions before he has the facts upon which to decide and the self-confidence to do so.” Two examples: a mother walks her preschooler to the closet and asks: “what do you want to wear today?” The child doesn’t know what they are going to do that day and has no concept of the outside weather. Mother is the one to make this decision. Example two: a couple takes their child to the church building for an event. It’s late and time to leave…the Dad turns to the child: “are you ready to go home?” They can’t tell time, don’t always understand they need to get to bed at a time appropriate for their age, etc. The Dad should make this decision, not the child. Parents who deal with their children in the ways given will usually have to contend with some terrible scenes. All of those incidents could have been avoided if the parents had furnished the child with facts. We spare our children unnecessary anxiety, tension, and anger by supporting them with facts until they are old enough to make sound judgments on their own.
Your child needs to learn respect for authority. This is a major lesson that simply must be taught: respect for authority. No matter what else they learn, they must learn this because all the others work from this foundation. I know of a situation recently at the church building where an adult kindly told some elementary-age children to quit standing on the tables in the fellowship hall. The response by one of the boys? “You’re not my boss.” While it’s clear that strangers are not the boss, it’s also clear that in such an environment, that youngster should have responded differently.
5. You are your child’s first authority. The basic purpose in God’s using parents to be the child’s first authority is not to give the parents an avenue for boosting their ego and exercising their power, but to build a basis for the child’s attitude toward other people. There are key steps in being an authority. An authority: (a) knows the subject better than the person being addressed; (b) verbally gives the facts (one time…never more than twice, unless asked); and he then follows his facts with proof. Example: It’s time to put the three-year old down for a nap. Step 1: You know the subject better than the child (it’s 1:00 and youngsters need extra rest); Step 2: you verbally give the fact once; Step 3: you follow your fact with proof (take the child and tuck him in bed). Look what your child has learned: their mother spoke and they didn’t have to wonder whether or not she knew her subject. She knew what she was talking about, because she furnished immediate proof. The child will trust her next time and will show her respect by following her spoken word. In time, they will learn responsibility because they were taught to yield consistent obedience to a trusted parent. The key ingredient? Consistency! Too often parents use ‘noise’ to get action, when they should use ‘action’ to get action. No ‘authority” (parents) would allow misbehavior on Monday (when Mom is happy) and then allow it on Tuesday (when Mom might be tired). Moods, good days, bad weather, sickness, etc., should not change the facts. An authority, therefore, will teach consistent facts Sunday through Saturday. And remember, Dad and Mom are working together, agreeing on what these facts are and in their willingness to back them with proof. What do you do when these steps have been followed and they don’t obey…that’s next month!
To discipline you need a rod. If our children won’t stay in bed when they are told, or refuse to leave the chair alone, you will have to reinforce that your facts are true by furnishing further proof. Often, in order to make a child obey your spoken word, you will need action, and that sometimes means a ‘rod.’ Why is that so? Because God said so! Listen to His words and forget the words of psychologists who often are not guided by Godly principles.

Another principle that some also ignore: the rod is the first response, not the last resort. There should be no “waiting till Daddy comes home.” If your child is not minding your spoken words, then you are the one to respond with the proper correction. If we learn one thing, learn this: if your child is rebellious, it is no small thing…and he needs to know that you will win the rebellion skirmishes!

Sometimes when you give your child a fact, he will not obey
immediately and will continue to procrastinate. When he/she sees you coming with the ‘rod’ in your hand, however, he will hasten to do what you told him to do. What is a parent to do when this happens? If you go to the trouble to get a rod, you must go ahead and use it…if you don’t, your child will develop this little ‘daring’ act into a game of tag every time you tell him to do something, and you will be the one who is always “it.”

Two important things should be understood at this point: (a) the spanking should have some ‘sting’ in order to get its point across, but pain is not the goal. The goal is to get their attention and know you are serious! (b) a belt or a ping pong paddle on the fatty part of the seat will accomplish this without causing welts or bruises…it has always been recommended to me that you not use the hand, since it is attached to a “loving mom or dad” while the paddle, belt, or switch can become the enemy instead of the person using it.

And don’t underestimate a good swat on the seat or fatty portion of the leg to also get their attention when smaller things occur.

One more thing: parents who spend a lot of time “yelling and nagging” a child into obedience is simply being used by the child…children who have been scolded and nagged for weeks and months acquire the habit of deafness and rarely are moved to action until they see something more substantial.

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 18, 2015 in Family

“God’s Word…and our sins” Hebrews 4:12-16

17 May

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Hebrews 4:12-13 (NIV) 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

The author’s enthusiasm for the Word of God seems to be naive to many contemporary Christians. Instead of seeing the Word of God as the answer for a dying church, many today suspect that it is the cause for much of our apathy.

Sin in the life of a child of God can bring terrible consequences. We have seen what sin did to Israel: It hardened their hearts, produced unbelief, and kept an entire generation out of the Promised Land.

The writer of Hebrews said that the same misfortunes can befall Christians. He encouraged his readers not to make the mistakes the Israelites made (v. 11).

If sin is so terrible, what can be done about it? Specifically, what should a child of God do with his sins?
For us, words can be cheap. We make promises to each other that we do not take seriously. We make oaths to God that we easily break. It is easy for our words to mean nothing because too often we have turned them into nothing.

But God is different. He says to Jeremiah, “‘Is not My word like fire?’ . . . ‘and like a hammer which shatters a rock?’” (Jeremiah 23:29). Our commitments may be meaningless, but God’s Word is lasting. “The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever” (Isaiah 40:8).

We cannot hide them (4:11–13)
People deal with their sins in many different ways. Some deny them; others ignore them; many make excuses for them. Then there are those who try to hide them. The author of Hebrews said, in effect, that it is impossible to hide our sins. The Word exposes them (v. 12). Further, God knows when we sin (v. 13).

The Israelites fell because they did not heed God’s Word. The same will be true of us if we do not pay close attention to the teaching of the Scriptures.

In context, “the word of God” refers to the Old Testament passages the writer was quoting, but the message is applicable to all of God’s revealed will.

First, it is “living and active.” God’s Word is “sharper than any two-edged sword” (v. 12a). The Word can reveal even the most carefully hidden sin.

The Bible is not a book of thousands of isolated verses. It concerns the God whose Word is “living and active,” who offers our lives a promise.

Early Christians were sustained largely by the conviction that the thread running through the Bible was the word of promise:

They recalled that God had made promises to Abraham (Genesis 12:2) and David (2 Samuel 7:10-17).
In the coming of Jesus Christ, they recognized that God had kept His promise.
Paul told his listeners in one speech, “And we preach to you the good news of the promise made to the fathers, that God has fulfilled this promise to our children in that He raised up Jesus” (Acts 13:32, 33).
The good news was the word that was “promised beforehand through His prophets in the holy Scriptures” (Romans 1:2).
God’s Word—pierces “as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow” (v. 12b). The message is that the Word of God lays bare all of a man. If we look into the Word with an honest heart, we see ourselves as we really are (James 1:22–25).
The Word is therefore “able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (v. 12c; emphasis mine). The Israelites fell in the wilderness because of a heart problem. As our lives are com- pared to God’s Word, our hearts are revealed.

God Knows When We Sin (4:13).
The writer moved easily from the Word of God to God Himself. God’s Word is an expression of Himself; the two cannot be separated.

The passage says that no one can hide from God: “And there is no creature hidden from His sight” (v. 13a). God knows everything. “All things are open” to His eyes (v. 13b).

Think of an individual who has done everything he can to hide the flaws of his body. Then think of his embarrassment as he is stripped of his clothing and every flaw is exposed. Even so, regardless of outward religious show, God sees us as we really are.

Everything is “laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do” (v. 13c).

Right now God knows all about us, and someday we will stand before Him in judgment and give an account for all that we have said and done. The conclusion from this is that we need to repent of our sins and change our lives!

Words of cheap grace do not sustain the life of the church. It is the confrontation with God’s word of judgment which calls us to repentance and accountability.

We must acknowledge our sins and turn to Jesus for mercy Hebrews 4:14-16 (NIV)
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

If we cannot hide our sins, what should we do with them? We should acknowledge them and turn to Jesus for mercy.

We Have a Sympathetic High Priest (4:15).
He passed through the heavens (4:14). The most sacred locale ever entered by an earthly high priest was the physical Holy of Holies (the “Most Holy Place”; NIV), but Jesus went “into heaven itself” (9:24).
He can sympathize with our weaknesses (4:15). This was not always true of earthly high priests.
He is sinless (4:15). This was definitely not true of earthly high priests.

He administers grace. Earthly high priests could administer law and even justice, but not grace. Jesus gives “grace to help in time of need” (4:16).

Verse 14 says that since Jesus is our High Priest, we should “hold fast our confession”—that is, the confession we made before we were baptized, the confession that Jesus is the Christ. If we hold fast that confession, we will never leave Him or cease to follow Him.

To phrase verse 15 positively, “we have a High Priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses because He was tempted in all things as we are (yet without sin).”

We Can Come Before Him With Confidence (4:16).
“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace” (v. 16a). Someday Jesus’ throne will be the throne of judgment; but today, for the faithful child of God, it is “the throne of grace,” which means “the throne that is characterized by and inhabited by grace.”

We need to draw near “so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (v. 16a). We need mercy and grace to be saved; we also need mercy and grace to stay saved.

Hebrews 5:7-10 (NIV) 7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8 Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him 10 and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

Many interpret the “loud cries and tears” are here because of Jesus’ concern about the pain on the cross. While there was much pain involved during those last few hours, the tears and cries here are about the time on the cross when God turned His back on Him as He took on the sins of the whole world.

It should give us an indication why we must deal with our sins God’s way…they separate us from God and it should trouble us with ‘loud cries and tears of our own.’

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Posted by TJ's Man on May 17, 2015 in Article

Countries who have viewed this site this year

14 May

Explore the list to see which countries and regions generate the most traffic to your site thus far in 2015

542United States
31China
6Brazil
5Philippines
4Canada
3Italy
3United Kingdom
3Taiwan
2New Zealand
2Nigeria

Countries who viewed this site in 2014

United States	877
Australia	9
Mongolia	6
India	5
Japan	5
Philippines	4
Canada	4
Brazil	3
United Kingdom	3
Germany	3
France	2
Malaysia	2
Singapore	2
Ukraine	2
Italy	2
Nigeria	2
Lebanon	1
European Union	1
Mexico	1
South Africa	1
Latvia	1
Egypt	1
Kenya	1
Finland	1
Tunisia	1
Dominica	1
Morocco	1
Russia	1

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 14, 2015 in Sermon

A Soldier of the Cross

14 May

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I am a soldier in the army of my God. The Lord Jesus Christ is my commanding officer. The Holy Bible is my code of conduct. Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare. I have been taught by the Holy Spirit, trained by experience, tried by adversity and tested by fire.

I’m a volunteer in this army, and I’m enlisted for eternity. I will either retire in this army at the end of time or die in this army; but I will not get out, sell out, be talked out, or pushed out. I am faithful, reliable, capable and dependable. If my God needs me, I am there. If He needs me in the Sunday school, to teach the children, work with the youth, help adults or just sit and learn.

He can use me because I am there! I am a soldier. I am not a baby. I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, pumped up, picked up or pepped up. I am a soldier. No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me. I am a soldier. I am not a wimp. I am in place, saluting my King, obeying His orders, praising His name, and building His kingdom! No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards, candy, or give me handouts. I do not need to be cuddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to. I am committed.

I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around. I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside. I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit. When Jesus called me into this army, I had nothing. If I end up with nothing, I will still come out ahead. I will win. My God has and will continue to supply all of my need.

I am more than a conqueror. I will always triumph. I can do all things through Christ. Devils cannot defeat me. People cannot disillusion me. Weather cannot weary me. Sickness cannot stop me. Battles cannot beat me. Money cannot buy me. Governments cannot silence me.

I am a soldier. Even death cannot destroy me. For when my commander calls me from this battlefield, He will promote me to Captain and then allow me to rule with Him. I am a soldier in the army, and I’m marching claiming victory. I will not give up. I will not turn around.

I will keep walking and marching to the orders of the King, Jesus. I serve the Kingdom.

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 14, 2015 in Encouragement

Train Up a Child

14 May

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Train up a child……easier said than done? Solomon said it best in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

The word “train” there speaks to a process whereby we instill into our child the desire (thirst) to do what is right. Training consists of two steps that involve three major activities. The first step is teaching; after teaching comes discipline.

1. Teaching. Teaching covers two of the three activities. The first thing one does in teaching is to show what or how a thing is done. Then the teacher tells or explains the details of the lesson. After a child has been taught by being shown or told, he is ready for the last step in training – discipline. The word discipline comes from the word disciple, which means “a follower of.” The child is now ready to practice for himself or herself what the teacher has taught. For a child to be trained, he/she must follow what the teacher does and says.

For example, suppose you want to start training your two-year-old to put his toys away. First, you will show the child how to pick the toys up and how they are to be stored in the toy box. You will talk to the child as you go through the process of showing him all about putting his toys away.

“Now, Jimmy, you put this toy away,” you direct him. You should then go in with him and help him put them away…and after a few times when you do it together, the child can go put toy away, following what he saw you do and heard you say. You have taken Jimmy through a process that can be repeated, but each time he is asked to put his toys away “please,” he will know exactly what to do.

But, remember, no child is going to clean their room at the mature level of an adult. You will always have to help IF you want it done at that level!

2. Discipline. Here it is important to point out two types of discipline:

a. Self-discipline. This is when a child follows you willingly, doing what you show and tell him to do. He does it because it is something he wants to do. His will and yours are in agreement. When a child exercises self-discipline, training is most enjoyable.

b. Inflicted discipline. This is when a child decides he doesn’t want to do as he has been told, and you must compel him to follow your lessons. You will accomplish this only by inflicting discipline upon him. If you are a new parent, please don’t get your hopes built up and form a false optimism that your child will always exercise self-discipline with regard to all of your teaching. Be fore-warned: obedience won’t just happen! There will be multitudes of times you will have to inflict discipline upon your little one in order to train him….and the sooner you do this to make him follow, the more quickly your child will develop and exercise his own self-discipline and good judgment.

Wisdom In Raising Children — It costs to acquire wisdom, but it’s worth it! It isn’t enough to own a study Bible and read books about the Bible, helpful as they are. It’s one thing to know about the Bible and quite something else to hear God speak through His Word and teach us His wisdom so that we become more like Jesus Christ.

We should keep in mind two things:1. Life is short; and 2. Our eternal existence is greatly influenced by how we live during this short life. It is imperative, then, that we not waste our time through rash and foolish decisions which not only jeopardize our eternal destiny but can also make this life miserable.

The value of wisdom is especially seen in family relationships: “He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind.” (Prov. 11:29). Life is too short and families grow too fast for us to raise a family through “trial and error”

Consider what many people think is most important in providing for a family Many would say it is the “necessities” of life such as food and clothing, and a place of shelter. Most would feel that other things are also necessary such as the “finer things” (luxuries) for the children, which parents never had as children. A good “education” for the children,
so they too can be affluent.

Instilling a fear of the Lord (reverence and awe) Proverbs 15:16: “Better is a little with the fear of the LORD Than great treasure and turmoil with it.”
Giving them love. Proverbs 15:17: “Better is a dish of vegetables where love is Than a fattened ox served with hatred.” Providing an environment where love reigns is more important than providing material abundance. Troubled children come from homes where “love” is lacking, not money!
Providing a peaceful family life. Proverbs 17:1: “Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife.”

What can be done to insure adequate material provisions for the family: Be righteous! Proverbs 20:7: “A righteous man who walks in his integrity– How blessed are his sons after him.”

Today that means putting the kingdom of God first in your life. Then God will watch out for you and providentially see that your needs are adequately met! Children of righteous parents are truly blessed! But parents who fail to put God first go through life without God’s providential help, and their children may suffer as a result! Inspired wisdom is explicit in the proper use of “corporeal punishment.” Used properly, it is a demonstration of true love.

Proverbs 13:24: “He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

Proper discipline has proper objectives Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14: “Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol.”

Proverbs 29:15: “The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”

Proper discipline has its rewards Proverbs 29:17: “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He
will also delight your soul.”

Proverbs 19:18: “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.”

It is to be applied before the situation gets of out hand (“while there is hope”). It is also to be applied under controlled circumstances (“do not set your heart on his destruction”). i.e., do not put it off until you strike in anger. There IS a difference between proper “spanking” and “child abuse”!

Look at these important points when you discipline your children, you’re acting like God discipline is a function of love, and appropriate punishment is not something done to a child but for the child spanking before 18 months of age is not wise and after 12 years of age is not effective it should be reserved for times of defiant or rebellious behavior when love is abundant at home, proper discipline (even a spanking) won’t be resented children are gifts from the Lord but between 15-36 months they don’t want to be restricted in any way. They are the most self-centered, manipulative, and controlling things on the planet…parents must be adults and be in charge.

James Dobson: “The proper time to begin disarming the teenage time bomb is 12 years before it arrives. “Children thrive best in an atmosphere of genuine love, undergirded by reasonable and consistent discipline. In a day of widespread drug usage, immorality, sexually transmitted diseases, vandalism, and violence, we must not depend on hope and luck to fashion the critical attitudes we value in our children.

“In those situations when the child fully understands what he is being asked to do or not to do but refuses to yield to adult leadership, an appropriate spanking is the shortest and most effective route to an attitude adjustment.” (The New Date to Discipline, page 28, 7, and 60-61).

Life is too short and families grow too fast for us to raise a family through “trial and error.”

Man’s domestic problems begin when he departs from God’s counsel regarding the home. This study is vital because our understanding of Christ’s relationship to the church is dependent upon His conception of the home. A reminder about Satan The first attack Satan made was against the home: he invaded Eden and led the first husband and wife into disobedience and judgment.

He is called the “deceiver” and wants us to center our mind upon him, to make us ignorant of God’s will in our life. He uses lies…Jesus tells us that “Satan is the Father of all liars…that he cannot tell the truth because it just isn’t in him”….our defense is God’s Word!

He’s also called “the destroyer” and uses suffering in this world to make us impatient with God’s will…we need to remember the unmerited, unending grace that God bestows upon each of us when we choose Jesus and make Him Savior and Lord of our lives!

If he can’t get us through these means, Satan works on our pride and hopes to make us independent of God’s will. Or he uses accusation as “the accuser” to work on the heart and the conscience to bring an indictment by God’s will.

Satan uses religious leaders today to forbid marriage (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Singleness is a Christian’s option but for most people, marriage is the will of God. Satan’s approach is to convince the person that marriage is sinful. Any teaching that claims greater spiritual virtues and blessings for the celibate than for the married is of the devil and not from God.
Satan seeks to reverse the headship in the home (1 Tim. 2:11-13; Eph. 5:22-23). He wants man to be concerned with dictatorship and forget the model of Christ as
the head of the church; the husband ought to be the head of the wife in a living, loving
relationship.

What is the answer to life’s difficulties and to Satan’s attacks on our homes? God!! It might be of some comfort to realize that the world has always been a difficult place in which Christians must live. It has always been opposed to God’s values and God’s will. Satan longs for the soul of any age person who will reject good, right, and truth and turn to his way of thinking.

Christians must daily remind themselves of the clear, simple words of Jesus, from Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” {14} “For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.”

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Posted by TJ's Man on May 14, 2015 in Family

When Christ is in the home

11 May

——————————————–

“A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” {33} “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. {34} Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! {35} Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”” (Mark 3:32-35)

When the first Christians were made part of the New Testament church, begun on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2, they knew hardly anything of Jesus and nothing at all of the “church (God’s family).” Yet, immediately, they were thrust into a fellowship of other believers – a radical, consuming community which supplanted every other loyalty.

They “devoted themselves” to meeting with a relative strangers (Acts 2:42). They sold their possessions to support one another (Acts 4). They met daily with their new friends to worship and commune in each other’s homes (Acts 2:46). They even rejoiced together when suffering persecution and ridicule!

All this had a revolutionary impact on the families, businesses, and friendships of these first Christians. Old loyalties were exchanged for new ones. The church became almost overnight the primary “reference group” for its members.

In the New Testament, the church commands the primary allegiance of disciples. No other group of people is allowed to take precedence over God’s people. jesusinthehome

Even family ties were subordinated to the family of God. Families of origin were put at risk and even broken: (Mark 10:29-30) “”I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel {30} will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields–and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.”

All that mattered in the 1^st Century was being in Christ. “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Gal. 3:26-29)

In her best-seller, What Is a Family?, Edith Schaeffer devotes her longest chapter to the idea that a family is a perpetual relay of truth. A place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living. Where character traits are sculptured under the watchful eyes of moms and dads. Where steel-strong fibers are woven into the fabric of inner constitution. The relay place. A race with a hundred batons.

Determination. “Stick with it, regardless.”
Honesty. “Speak and live the truth – always.”
Responsibility. “Be dependable, be trustworthy.”
Thoughtfulness. “Think of others before yourself.”
Confidentiality. “Don’t tell secrets. Seal your lips.”
Punctuality. “Be on time.”
Self-control. “When under stress, stay calm.”
Patience. “Fight irriatability. Be willing to wait.”
Purity. “Reject anything that lowers your standards.”
Compassion. “When another hurts, feel it with him.”
Diligence. “Work hard. Tough it out.”

And how is this done? Over the long haul, believe me. This race is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. There are no 50-yard dash courses on character building. Relays require right timing and smooth handoffs – practiced around the track hour after hour when nobody is looking. And where is this practice track? Where is this place where rough edges cannot remain hidden, must not be left untouched? Inside your own front door. The home is God’s built-in training facility.

Marriage and parenthood call for faith of the most radical sort. The Devil cannot bear to see married people agree well with each other.

Most would agree that the major contributing factor to the crime, violence, moral decay, and social upheaval in our society is the breakdown of the family.

Many couples in my generation need to learn that a happy home is not having a good paying job, a mortgage of $100,+, a brand new car every five years, trying to keep up with everyone else. Home is really a state of mind; ideally, it is a created situation where two people who love each other are committed to one another’s well being, living in harmony, love, forbearance, and consideration.

The all-knowing and all-powerful God (who created, established, ordained, and instituted the home and who created its members) has provided a manual; a perfect plan for the home. He has given us divine guidelines for daily living in the home. We must in humility, look to God for strength, trusting that He has the answers. We need to daily pray to God with one another for assistance and then have the courage of our convictions to apply these Biblical principles.

When there is continual strife and unrest between family members, someone is likely not applying Biblical principles pertaining to the home. When one refuses to talk to the other, or refuses to forgive, or is stubbornly selfish, Biblical principles are again being refused and rejected.

There are at least two primary joys of a Christian home: First there is the joy of knowing that someone cares for you.God cares for me (John 3:16) and there is not a greater self-esteem builder in the world. God created us with the desire to feel wanted, important, and necessary. He created the home to aid in fulfilling the need to feel needed!

In the Christian home, the husband and wife have said to one another, “I care so much for you that I selected you from all others to share my life.” Likewise, our children should be convinced that we care for them!

Second, there is the joy of knowing that there is someone I can depend upon! A great joy to know this – standing together in good times and bad. Children need to know there is someone they can depend on when the trials of life come knocking.

Being able to depend upon someone is described in the word “commitment.” In a proper home situation there is someone to whom I am committed and who is committed to me.

A question asked by many people in the 1990’s is a complex and deeply felt one: is it possible to have a Christ centered home in today’s world of trouble and sin?

Recent studies have listed many issues with which parents must cope today: finances (the cost of bearing, clothing, feeding, entertaining and educating children is the greatest in our history); working mothers (for the first time, a majority of American mothers hold jobs out-side the home, many out of necessity rather than desire; drugs, divorce, alcohol, crime, runaways, and abuse.

More than 1.6 million couples were divorced last year. Drugs and alcohol are on the rise among youngsters. The second leading cause of death between ages 14-24 is now suicide, and one child in nine can expect to appear in juvenile court before he turns 18.

A newspaper columnist who was disturbed by the rising suicide rate among teenagers blamed this trend on the loss of “the extended family.” She said that most of today’s youngsters do not possess a sense of belonging. They never felt close to a grandfather who went fishing with them, a grandmother who rode down a hill with them on a sled, an uncle who entertained them with tall tales, or an unmarried aunt who, when substituting for mother, washed their faces so vigorously that it felt like she was peeling off the skin.

The loss of the “extended family” is a serious matter. However, the causes for teenage suicide lie deeper. Many parents leave God out of their thinking entirely. They become so pleasure-oriented or success-minded that they all but ignore their children. Others disobey God’s law through infidelity, breaking up homes and leaving children with only one parent – and many emotional scars. Indeed, the deepest need of our children is not merely the extended family, it is God made real to them through the extended family.

It might be of comfort to realize that the world has always been a difficult place in which Christians must live. It has always been opposed to God’s values and God’s will.

We might also be encouraged to remember a story recorded in 2 Chronicles 20, which shows a situation similar to the one we face today. Jehoshaphat had some men before him reporting the approach of a vast army, one the size of which his army could not defeat.

He inquired of the Lord his future and God’s answer is recorded for us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17: “He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusa-lem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jeru-salem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'””

A truly Christian home is a place where sinners live; but it is also a place where the members of that home admit this fact and understand the problem, know what to do about it, and as a result grow by grace.

It is important that this environment be in place so all members of the family will have a loving, graceful, safe, and warm place in which to grow. It’s vital that we treat each other in the same way Jesus treated His 12 apostles.

As they stumbled and fell and made mistakes, he was patient with them because of one simple point: He knew they were not yet what they would become. We need to “be patient, God’s not finished with me yet!

Let’s look in detail for a moment at three significant items that make all the difference in the world; (as they are discussed, think of the atmosphere or environment which these will create in the home):

Christians admit their sins.

Because they know the Bible says that no Christian is ever perfect in this life, they are free to admit their sins: 1 John 1:8-10: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”

What does it mean to you to know that your boss, parents, etc., can admit when they make a mistake and acknowledge sin? What response do you give to this kind of person? What kind of response is given to the person who thinks they are perfect, who acts like they never do wrong?

Christians are able to acknowledge the fact and, in time, learn to anticipate and prepare for sin. Christians, of all persons, should never rely upon rationalizations, excuses or blameshifting to try to euphemize their sins.

Because they can admit their sins, there can also be a certain amount of openness, honesty, and relaxation about the relationships that Christians sustain to one another, especially at home. Christians can pour their time and energies into the endeavor to replace sinful patterns with Biblical patterns of life.

Rather than wasting time minimizing or denying the fact of sin, Christians can concentrate on dealing with sin.

Christians know what to do about their sins.

Because they have the Bible as the standard of faith and practice, Christians not only know why problems occur in the home, but they know what to do about them! Is any sin too big for God? Can any sin be overcome in a loving, forgiving environment? We need to realize that each person in the Bible who stands before us a “great men and women of faith” are average people with sin in their life, which God helped remove.

Christians progress out of their sins.

Where there is spiritual life, there also will be spiritual growth. No Christian may remain the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. A fundamental presupposition of the Christian faith is that there will be growth out of sin into righteousness. Where there is Bible study, prayer and the fellowship of the saints, the Spirit of God will be at work to
produce His fruit.

The Christian home, then, is a place where sinful persons face the problems of a sinful world. Yet, they face them together with God and His resources, which are all centered in Christ. Sinners live in the Christian home, but the sinless Savior lives there too! “That is what makes the difference!

No one can better understand and repair a product than its creator. This is doubly true with regard to the home. God not only planned and designed the home itself, but he actually formed man and woman, its component parts.

How futile and how vain to seek everywhere but with God for balm and remedy when homes weaken and deteriorate! The Bible also tells us that our homes should be happy places and goes on to show us how to have them. Our homes can be happy and successful if we use spiritual principles and sound judgment in their formation and development.

What purposes shall we try to achieve in our homes? The first purpose is the personal development of each family member. This is not to say that one should view his home selfishly and think only in terms of what he can get out of it himself. Each family member experiences personal growth and receives a sense of genuine fulfillment by giving of himself in order to build a happy home.

The second purpose involves the accomplishment of certain social functions of the home. The primary social function is to provide a special companionship for each member of the family. To feel alone and
unloved is one of the emptiest feelings on earth. But we must also prepare each member to be part of the larger group of society.

But the third purpose reaches into eternity: we must work toward achieving the spiritual development of the family members. We must never forget that marriage and the home is primarily a spiritual relationship.

We should daily be reminded of the question asked by Jesus in one of his most penetrating sermons, recorded for us in Matthew 16:26-27: “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.”

What qualities of character do we need to possess and demonstrate in our homes in order to fulfill these purposes? Generally speaking, the development of Christian character is the single most important factor in achieving a successful home. The two marriage partners must desire success in their home, and genuine love is absolutely necessary! Each member of the family must take their differences into account and strive to communicate their feelings to each other.

There is a rising chorus in the world telling us that the American family is not beyond hope. Sociologist Theodore Caplow of the University of Virginia observes that while many Americans think the family is about to collapse, this whole idea is largely a myth fostered by the media.

Repeated surveys show that Americans have more, not less, solid relationships with family members than a generation ago! Certainly, since the events of September 11, 2001 and the terrorist attacks on our country, we are spending more time with family, looking at our value system, and turning to God as a country! How healthy are our families? Medical checkups are recommended today for good physical health. What if your family went in for a checkup? How would you do? What would be some of the tests the experts would run?

We might have the attitude a well-known politician had some years back: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” What he meant was that things that seem to work well should be left alone.

We may feel that way about marriage. But there are several good reasons to get that checkup: Things might not be going as well as we think. Some married couples have been totally surprised to discover their mates were not at all happy. By the time they discovered something was wrong, it was too late.

There is a tendency in marriage for a movement in one direction to increase geometrically as time passes. Spouses who are drifting apart because of annoying little habits begin to blame each other for the creeping separation. As time passes, the tendency increases and becomes more difficult to reverse.

There is always the opportunity to make good relationships even better. If your family is happy, you may still discover something about yourself that will make for improvement. If accomplished athletes and artists still spend hours improving their skills, it is certainly possible that the best marriages can be further strengthened.

Even if your family is strong, there are predictable crisis in almost all families. Sonya Rhodes and Josleen Wilson in Surviving Family Life explore seven crisis living together. These include early marital adjustments, the birth of children, changes as children enter adolescence and later leave home, and caring for three generations under one roof. With preventative care, these challenges can become opportunities for
growth.

The family needs regular checkups because relationships are never static. We either grow together or we grow apart. A marriage may reach its full potential at the very beginning and then begin to decline.

How To Do Your Checkup
Does your family have a central value system? Long before our society began to build marriages on the insecure foundation of romance, there were stable marital relationships.

When the Book of Genesis describes marriage as leaving father and mother, cleaving to one’s spouse, and two people becoming “one flesh,” it points to an irrevocable act. In a biblically based marriage, each person says, “I am with you, no matter what may happen.”

Such a marriage proceeds not only from the heart but also from the mind. These promises cannot be made lightly or kept carelessly. This marriage is based both on love and fidelity. And faithfulness depends upon having a central value system.

The book of Proverbs has 209 of its 915 verses– almost one-fourth –dedicated to instruction about rearing children, for instance. Consider just a few of them and think of the time parents should spend analyzing and putting into practice these concepts.

Proverbs 8:32-36: “”Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. “Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the LORD. But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all who hate me love death.””

Proverbs 10:5: “He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a dis-graceful son.”

Proverbs 12:1: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”

Proverbs 22:6: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

The book tells parents to warn their children against the dangers of sexual experimentation, violence, drunkenness, bad language, criminal behavior, financial mismanagement, and disrespect for parents.

Strong buildings rest on solid foundations. Healthy families respond when they have a central value system that responds to a higher authority. If a family is deeply committed to Jesus Christ, they enjoy enormous ad-vantages over the family with no spiritual dimension.

Persons who do not know or even recognize the existence and authority of God are not motivated to accept God’s standard for marriage and the family or for anything else. They do not have the new nature or inner resources to fully follow those standards even if they wanted to.

We are drowning in a sea of marriage information today. A book on sex and marriage, whether from a secular or Christian viewpoint, is sure to sell. Many purportedly Christian books are as preoccupied with and indelicate about sex as their secular counterparts. Marriage conferences, seminars, and counselors abound—some of which may be solidly scriptural and well presented. But apart from a believer’s being filled with the Holy Spirit and applying the ever-sufficient Word of God, even the best advice will produce only superficial and temporary benefit, because the heart will not be rightly motivated or empowered.
On the other hand, when we are filled with the Spirit and thus are controlled in divine truth, we are divinely directed to do what is pleasing to God, because His Spirit controls our attitudes and relationships.

James said, “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?” (James 4:1). Conflicts in the church, in the home, and in marriage always result from hearts that are directed by the self rather than by the Spirit of God. When self insists on its own rights, opinions, and goals, harmony and peace are precluded.

The self-centered life is always in a battle for the top, and pushes others down as it climbs up in pride. The Spirit-centered life, on the other hand, is directed toward lowliness, toward subservience, and it lifts others up as it descends in humility.

Any society that has taken either the obvious nature of women or the Word of God into consideration has fashioned its best laws in line with His. Laws against murder find their source in the Ten commandments —just as do laws against stealing, adultery, perjury, and so on. The wife’s submission to her husband is a divine principle that has been reflected to some degree in the legal codes of most societies.

For the past several hundred years western society has been bombarded with the humanistic, egalitarian, sexless, classless philosophy that was the dominant force behind the French Revolution. The blurring and even total removal of all human distinctions continues to be masterminded by Satan so as to undermine legitimate, God-ordained authority in every realm of human activity—in government, the family, the school, and even in the church.

Child/Parent Relationship

Cornell University’s Urie Bronfenbrenner cites nine specific changes that have taken place during the past generation which have increasingly separated children and youth from the world of adults, especially the adults in their own families:

1. Fathers’ vocational choices which remove them from the home for lengthy periods of time

2. An increase in the number of working mothers

3. A critical escalation in the divorce rate

4. A rapid increase in single-parent families

5. A steady decline in the extended family

6. The evolution of the physical environment of the home (family rooms, playrooms and master bedrooms)

7. The replacement of adults by the peer group

8. The isolation of children from the work world

9. The insulation of schools from the rest of society

This last factor has caused Bronfenbrenner to describe the current U.S. educational system as “one of the most potent breeding grounds for alienation in American society.” When he wrote these words in 1974, this trend toward isolation was in full swing, and it has not been significantly checked since that time.

With one in four young people now indicating that they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father, is it any wonder that 76 percent of the 1,200 teens surveyed in USA Today actually want their parents to spend more time with them?

Andree Alieon Brooks, a New York Times journalist, in her eye-opening book Children of Fast-Track Parents, describes her interviews with scores of children and parents who seemed to “have it all”: “If there was one theme that constantly emerged from my conversations with the children it was a surprising undercurrent of aloneness—feelings of isolation from peers as well as parents despite their busy lives.”

Family members gave one another compliments and sincere demonstrations of approval. They tried to make the others feel appreciated and good about themselves.

A healthy family:

1. communicates and listens

2. affirms and supports one another

3. teaches respect for others

4. develops a sense of trust

5. has a sense of play and humor

6. exhibits a sense of shared responsibility

7. teaches a sense of right and wrong

8. has a strong sense of family in which rituals and traditions abound

9. has a balance of interaction among members

10. has a shared religious core

11. respects the privacy of one another

12. values service to others

13. fosters family table time and conversation

14. shares leisure time

15. admits to and seeks help with problems.

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 11, 2015 in Encouragement

A Woman Worthy of Praise” – Proverbs 31:10-31 (preached at Sunset Avenue for Mother’s Day, 2015)

10 May

Just a Housewife?

A lawyer met a housewife at a function, and asked her what she did. The housewife replied, “I am socializing two homo-sapiens in the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the teleological prescribed utopia inherent in the eschaton.” Then she added, “And what do YOU do?” The lawyer stammered: “Er, I’m just a lawyer.”

Unfortunately many mothers feel very far from the ideal. The sermons are like the story of 2 cows in a pasture. They watch a milk truck pass by w/signs painted: “Enriched w/vitamin D,” “Homogenized!” “Pasteurized!” One cow looks at the other & says,”Every time I see those signs, I feel very inadequate!”

Our purpose in this lesson is not to make the mothers feel inadequate but to honor their role & applaud their service.

We’re calling upon a man whose name is mentioned only once in scripture, yet this choice portion of literature seems to last forever in our minds as we look for a godly woman.

His name was King Lemuel, and he had a good mother. Listen to the opening verses of this chapter: Proverbs 31:1-9: “The sayings of King Lemuel–an oracle his mother taught him: {2} “O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, {3} do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. {4} “It is not for kings, O Lemuel– not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, {5} lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. {6} Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; {7} let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. {8} “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. {9} Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.””

In verse 10, King Lemuel begins with both a question and a declaration:

Question: a wife of noble character, who can find?

Answer: she is worth far more than rubies!

Verse 30 sums it all up: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Many times these verses are presented in such a way that a great deal of guilt is brought forth on the part of the woman and mothers listening. If you do not get up early and buy-and-sell land or provide your family with hand-sewn clothing…these verses are still for your encouragement.

Instead of listing items of activity which should be part of the Christian woman, it is listing characteristics which are then applied to the culture in which we walk and work. The idea: be this kind of woman in your character and your activities will be determined by the particular circumstances which do apply to your life.

She is diligent (vs. 13, 17-18, 27)

Proverbs 31:13: “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.”

Proverbs 31:17-18: “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. {18} She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.”

Proverbs 31:27: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

This trait seems to be mixed with a pleasant spirit and a good attitude. She seems to possess pride in what she does…she’s not happy just to “get by” but in doing a good job. She looks for the best buys, she realizes a profit, and works even into the night.

She’s industrious and efficient (vs. 14, 16, 24)

Proverbs 31:14: “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.”

Proverbs 31:16: “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

Proverbs 31:24: “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

She’s a thinking individual. In the investment of her time, she looks for dividends and returns. Instead of focusing on the grind, she looks to the benefits her work will bring.

She’s compassionate (vs. 20, 26).

Proverbs 31:20: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

Proverbs 31:26: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

She has a soft heart that can be touched. And this makes her unique and distinct when contrasted to the man: an illustration….a child is hurt and the two responses:

Mother: How are YOU doing? What can I do? (the caring one)

Dad: Why were you running? You scratched the wall! Who’s fault was it? (the investigator).

She has inner beauty (vs. 22, 25).

Proverbs 31:22: “She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

Proverbs 31:25: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

IF MARRIED: She’s a devoted wife:

She maintains her husband’s confidence (vs. 11a)

Proverbs 31:11a: “Her husband has full confidence in her….”

He’s comfortable in being transparent with her. He can share his feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and disappointment and know she will keep them to herself.

She meets his needs (vs. 11b).

Proverbs 31:11b: “…and lacks nothing of value.”

She’s supportive and affectionate. She encourages his pursuits, and is committed to him and his efforts.

Remember when God looked at Adam and said: “It is not good that man should be alone.” He made a help-meet that would make him complete. Woman was a special creation of God but also a “corresponding part.”

She seeks his good (vs. 12)

Proverbs 31:12: “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

She aids his influence (vs. 23)

Proverbs 31:23: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”

IF A PARENT: she’s a dependable mother.

She is disciplined (vs. 15, 18-19).

Proverbs 31:15: “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

Proverbs 31:18-19: “She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. {19} In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

This is not a verse teaching you into hell if you don’t make homemade biscuits early in the morning, etc. But it is teaching a principle of taking charge of your time so you can meet the family needs. If the role of the husband or father in your house is for him to fix breakfast, then, obviously, the specifics would change.

She’s organized (vs. 21).

Proverbs 31:21: “When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.”

mother-and-child This verse presents a sense of planning. She takes the challenge of a family as just that, a challenge, and seeks to meet it. It’s not just “a cross to bear.”

She’s dedicated (vs. 27).

Proverbs 31:27: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

What will be the results of this kind of woman (28-31).

Proverbs 31:28-31: “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: {29} “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” {30} Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. {31} Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

* Her children will bless her! * Her husband will praise her!

* Her peers will be challenged by her! * Her works will bring their own praise!

* Her Lord will be honored by her life!

A Housewife’s Lament

“Make the beds, bandage heads, straighten up the room, wash the windows, cut the grass, see the tulips bloom. Drive the children off to school, drive them back again. Have the cubs to their meetings…then I clean the den.

“Serve on my committee, attend the PTA, forgot to buy the children’s shoes, I can’t do that today. Pay the bills, write a note, fill the cookie jar…Oh, dear, I forgot to go and have them grease the car.

“Catch up on the ironing, scrub the kitchen floor, answer phones and doorbells…need I list some more?

“My pet peeve, I must admit, you surely will agree…when someone will ask: are you employed? I will answer: ‘no, not me…I don’t work…I’m just a homemaker.’”

A husband’s relationship to his excellent wife: (vs. 11-12, 28-29)

Proverbs 31:11-12: “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. {12} She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:28-29: “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: {29} “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.””

He trusts her (vs. 11).He has no cause for suspicion for her. Deep within, he holds confidence in her.
He benefits from her (vs.11).
He’s affirmed by her (vs. 12).
He’s impressed with her and sings her praises (vs. 28-29).

Young men – look for this kind of woman!

Young ladies – strive with God’s help to be this kind of woman!

Fathers and married men – Thank God if you have this kind of woman!

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Posted by TJ's Man on May 10, 2015 in Article

The Making of a Teacher

04 May

Teaching is the profession that teaches all other professions.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

⁶ Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Teacher’s strength with grades for such qualities as:

Ability to multitask, managing 25-plus disinterested adolescents while explaining once more the rule about to the five students who really care;
Ability to be clairvoyant, seeing beyond the restlessness or feigned boredom to reach the unique individual hiding behind such appearances;

Ability to do the impossible — getting girls to stop chattering and boys to stop looking out the window when it’s time to pay serious attention;
Ability to change people’s lives, sharing the excitement of learning with students and colleagues alike.

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. – Albert Einstein

The most effective teacher will always be biased, for the chief force in teaching is confidence and enthusiasm. —Joyce Cary

1 Corinthians 12:28-29 (NIV)
²⁸ And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.

²⁹ Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

Hebrews 5:12 (NIV)
¹² In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!

James 3:1 (NIV)
¹ Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking, you displayed my first report, and I wanted to do another.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, you fed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, you gave me a sticker, and I knew that things were special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, you put your arm around me, and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt–but that it’s all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, you smiled, and it made me want to look that pretty too.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, you cared, and I wanted to be everything I could be.
When you thought I wasn’t looking–I looked…and wanted to say thanks for all those things you did when you thought I wasn’t looking. — – Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

THE CREATION OF THE TEACHER

The Good Lord was creating teachers. It was His sixth day of ‘overtime’ and He knew that this was a tremendous responsibility for teachers would touch the lives of so many impressionable young children. An angel appeared to Him and said, “You are taking a long time to figure this one out.”

“Yes,” said the Lord, ” but have you read the specs on this order?”

TEACHER:

…must stand above all students, yet be on their level
… must be able to do 180 things not connected with the subject being taught
… must run on coffee, coke and leftovers,
… must communicate vital knowledge to all students daily and be right most of the time
… must have more time for others than for herself/himself
… must have a smile that can endure through pay cuts, problematic children, and worried parents
… must go on teaching when parents question every move and others are not supportive
… must have 6 pair of hands.

“Six pair of hands, ” said the angel, “that’s impossible” “Well, ” said the Lord, ” it is not the hands that are the problem. It is the three pairs of eyes that are presenting the most difficulty!”

The angel looked incredulous, ” Three pairs of eyes…on a standard model?”

The Lord nodded His head, ” One pair can see a student for what he is and not what others have labeled him as. Another pair of eyes is in the back of the teacher’s head to see what should not be seen, but what must be known. The eyes in the front are only to look at the child as he/she ‘acts out’ in order to reflect, ” I understand and I still believe in you”,
without so much as saying a word to the child.”

“Lord, ” said the angel, ” this is a very large project and I think you should work on it tomorrow”.

“I can’t,” said the Lord, ” for I have come very close to creating something much like Myself. I have one that comes to work when he/she is sick…..teaches a class of children that do not want to learn….has a special place in his/her heart for children who are not his/her own…..understands the struggles of those who have difficulty….never takes the students for granted…”

The angel looked closely at the model the Lord was creating. “It is too soft-hearted, ” said the angel.

“Yes,” said the Lord, ” but also tough, You can not imagine what this teacher can endure or do, if necessary”.

“Can this teacher think?” asked the angel.

“Not only think,” said the Lord,. “but reason and compromise.”

The angel came closer to have a better look at the model and ran his finger over the teacher’s cheek.

“Well, Lord, ” said the angel, your job looks fine but there is a leak. I told you that you were putting too much into this model.
You can not imagine the stress that will be placed upon the teacher.”

The Lord moved in closer and lifted the drop of moisture from the teacher’s cheek. It shone and glistened in the light.

“It is not a leak,” He said, “It is a tear.”

“A tear? What is that?” asked the angel, “What is a tear for?”

The Lord replied with great thought, ” It is for the joy and pride of seeing a child accomplish even the smallest task. It is for the loneliness of children who have a hard time to fit in and it is for compassion for the feelings of their parents. It comes from the pain of not being able to reach some children and the disappointment those children feel in themselves. It comes often when a teacher has been with a class for a year and must say good-bye to those students and get ready to welcome a new class.”

“My, ” said the angel, ” The tear thing is a great idea…You are a genius!!

The Lord looked somber, “I didn’t put it there.”

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Posted by Gary Davenport on May 4, 2015 in Encouragement

Devoted to Family…A happy family is but an earlier heaven

25 Apr

——————————————–

During a visit to the children’s Bible class, a preacher looked into their serious faces and asked, “Why do you love God?” After a moment a small voice came from the back: “I guess it just runs in the family.”

Some of us are blessed to be ‘lifers.’ It’s a phrase I first heard in Mansfield, Ohio, many years ago, used to describe a person “who has been around the church his whole life.”

What a blessed person! To have grandparents and parents who knew the value of God, Christ, the Bible, and the church! To attend worship and classes “every time the doors are opened” is a blessed way of life that benefits into eternity.

Some aren’t so fortunate, for many children don’t even feel as if they know their parents, much less the Lord. The story is told of a young boy who wanted a new suit of clothes, and he asked his mother if she would ask his father to buy it for him. The mother suggested that it might be better if the boy would ask the father himself. The response of the boy was, “Well, I would, but you know him much better than I do.”

Sadly, it’s not easy to bring about much-needed change. Herbert Prochnow tells of a little girl who wrote in an essay on Parents: “We get our parents at so late an age that it is impossible to change their habits.”

In Japan, many workers are finding themselves either too busy or too stressed to visit their parents. An enterprising business is now offering a solution for lonely parents. For $1,130 a day, the Japan Efficiency Headquarters company will send actors to provide “family” time. The actors have been trained in psychology to ensure a more realistic family visit.

Lee Iacocca said, “Your job takes up enough time without having to shortchange your family. Still, I’ve seen a lot of executives who neglect their families, and it always makes me sad. You can’t let a corporation turn into a labor camp. Hard work is essential. But there’s also a time for rest and relaxation, for going to see your kid in the school play or at a swim meet. And if you don’t do these things while the kids are young, there’s no way to make it up later on. I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I’ve had a wonderful and successful career, but next to my family, it hasn’t really mattered at all.”

It is sad commentary on our times that families have become so fragmented and splintered some must hire a surrogate family to provide companionship. [1]

A family is more than a collection of human beings who are blood kin. A family is more than the sum of its parts. It is a living, shaping, powerful unit that teaches us our most important lessons in life. It teaches us who we are, how to act, whom to relate to, and what is important in life.

A popular book of a few years ago, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, extolled the “virtues” of independence and individuality at any price. The seagull is a popular subject for photography, and many people who vacation at the shore end up with some kind of souvenir bearing the picture of a seagull. It is easy to see why people like this figure. A seagull exults in freedom. When flying alone, he thrusts his wings back with powerful strokes, climbs higher and higher, and then swoops down in majestic loops and circles.

In a flock, though, the seagull is a different bird. His majesty dissolves into in-fights and cruelty. Concepts of sharing and manners do not seem to exist among gulls. They are so fiercely competitive and jealous that if you tie a ribbon around the leg of a gull, making him stand out from the rest, you sentence him to death. The others in his flock will furiously attack him with claws and beaks, hammering through feathers and flesh to draw blood. They’ll continue until he is a bloody heap.

If we must have a bird as a model for our society, there is certainly a better choice. Consider the wild goose. The V-formation they use in flying enables them to fly with more ease and speed. The point position is the most difficult because of wind resistance, so the geese rotate this position every few minutes. The easiest flight is experienced in the two rear sections of the formation, and the stronger geese permit the young, weak, and older birds to occupy these positions. It is also probable that the constant honking encourages the weaker geese.

The seagull teaches us to break loose and fly alone, but the wild goose teaches us to fly in a “family.” We can fly further with our Christian family than we could ever fly alone – and, as we fly, our efforts constantly help others in our family.

We should be aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don’t you think? So what is behind the story? Do you know what the word family means? Family: Father And Mother I Love You.

I am the second of nine children in my family. I’m used to hearing remarks about the size of our family. Once when my father had taken four of us to the grocery store, a woman asked him, “Are these all your children?”

“Oh, no,” he innocently replied.

Seeing the look of relief on her face, Dad said with a twinkle in his eye, “The other five are at home.”

He took to heart Solomon’s words from Psalm 127: “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. {2} In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat– for he grants sleep to those he loves. {3} Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. {4} Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. {5} Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”

Close friends of our family used to tease Mom (a nurse) and Dad (a chemist). “You do know what causes children, don’t you?” they would ask. They made it crystal clear of their knowledge: “Some people put their efforts and their money into houses or vacations. We’re investing in children.”

We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves.

A dad is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with snapshots of his family. The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.

There is a story about a father who became disturbed about the length of time his six year old son was taking to get home from school. The father decided he would make the trip to discover for himself how long it should take a small boy to cover the distance.

The father settled on 20 minutes but his son was still taking an hour. Finally the father decided to make the trip with his son. After the trip, the man said, “The 20 minutes I thought reasonable was right, but I failed to consider such important things as a sidetrip to track down a trail of ants — or an educational stop to watch a man fix a flat — or the time it took to swing around a half dozen telephone poles — or how much time it took for a boy just to get acquainted with two stray dogs and a brown cat. “In short,” said the father, “I had forgotten what it is really like to be six years old.”

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. [2]

People are blind to what they really need. They need family, and they need religion. Period. There is such an incredible strength in family, and religion gives you respectability, responsibility and a reverence for life. [3]

Desmond Tutu observed, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”

Children want to feel instinctively that their father is behind them as solid as a mountain, but like a mountain, is something to look up to.

In Sources of Strength, former President Jimmy Carter recalls: “I had just been inaugurated, walked down Pennsylvania Avenue, reviewed the parade with my family, and then begun to walk with my family, for the first time, toward the White House. Eager news reporters with cameras surrounded us, and my press secretary said, ‘Don’t anyone stop to answer questions.’ Typically, Mama ignored him and stopped to talk to the press. The first question was ‘Miss Lillian, aren’t you proud of your son?’ “Mama replied, ‘Which one?’

Studies have shown that the child who has the lowest self-esteem is the one who isn’t permitted to say anything at the dinner table. The one with the next lowest image of himself is the child who is allowed to dominate the conversation. Highest on the list is the youngster whose parents tell him, “Yes, you may speak up — when it’s your turn. [4]

It is said of James Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing. The day was fixed in his adult mind, and he often reflected upon many of the things his father had taught him in the course of their fishing experience together. After having heard of that particular excursion so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell’s father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective. Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: “Gone fishing today with my son — a day wasted.”

Few have ever heard of Boswell’s father; many have heard of Boswell. But in spite of his relative obscurity, he must have managed to set a place in his son’s life which lasted for a lifetime and beyond. On one day alone he inlaid along the grain of his son’s life ideas that would mark him long into his adulthood. What he did, not only touched a boy’s life, but it set in motion certain benefits that would affect the world of classical literature. Too bad that Boswell’s father couldn’t appreciate the significance of a fishing trip and the pacesetting that was going on even while worms were being squeezed on to hooks.

Grandchildren are a different discussion! They bless our lives in ways we could never have imagined!

A woman had a very precocious grandchild who was visiting her. She was about 10 or 11 years old. She asked, “Grandma how old are you?” And grandma said, “Well, honey we don’t tell our ages, it is not polite to ask a women her age.” “Oh, come on grandma, tell me how old you are.” “No, honey. I am not going to tell you how old I am.” So, the girl disappeared. Grandma heard something up stairs and went up and found the little girl in her purse. The little girl had found her driver’s license and she was adding up the date of birth to the present time, and she said, “Grandma you are 78 years old.” “Now honey, you shouldn’t be in there,” grandma said. “Plus, grandma, I see that you got an F in sex.”

Conveying Christian Values

1. Acknowledge that your child is a gift from God (see Ps 127:3, GNB).

2. Dedicate your child to the Lord to be used in his service (see 1 Sam. 1:11, RSV).

3. Make a personal commitment to God to grow as a Christian parent.

4. Identify your values and convey these values consistently in your behavior.

5. Express to your children love and acceptance.

6. View discipline as an ongoing process of helping your children ultimately to become self-controlled and self-disciplined.

7. Pray daily for each member of your family.

8. Maintain family worship and Bible study in your home.

9. Involve all family members in church activities.

10. Participate in events your church will offer to help you grow as a Christian parent. Be imitators of God as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loves us.

————————————————–

[1] David Charlton, Proclaim 1. “Families For Hire,” The Christian Reader, November/December 1992, 75.

[2] Ogden Nash

[3] Willard Scott, Marriage Partnership, Vol. 8, no. 4.

[4] Dr. Joseph Bobbit, child psychologist.

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Posted by Gary Davenport on April 25, 2015 in Family

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