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Train Up a Child

10 Jul

Train up a child……easier said than done? Solomon said it best in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

The word “train” there speaks to a process whereby we instill into our child the desire (thirst) to do what is right. Training consists of two steps that involve three major activities. The first step is teaching; after teaching comes discipline.

 1. Teaching. Teaching covers two of the three activities. The first thing one does in teaching is to show what or how a thing is done. Then the teacher tells or explains the details of the lesson. After a child has Picture2been taught by being shown or told, he is ready for the last step in training – discipline. The word discipline comes from the word disciple, which means “a follower of.” The child is now ready to practice for himselfherself what the teacher has taught. For a child to be trained, he/she must follow what the teacher does and says.

For example, suppose you want to start training your two-year-old to put his toys away. First, you will show the child how to pick the toys up and how they are to be stored in the toy box. You will talk to the child as you go through the process of showing him all about putting his toys away.

 “Now, Jimmy, you put this toy away,” you direct him. The child goes and puts the toy away, following what he saw you do and heard you say. You have taken Jimmy through a process that can be repeated, but each time he is asked to put his toys away “please,” he will know exactly what to do.

    2. Discipline. Here it is important to point out two types of discipline: a. Self-discipline. This is when a child follows you willingly, doing what you show and tell him to do. He does it because it is something he wants to do. His will and yours are in agreement. When a child exercises self-discipline, training is most enjoyable. b. Inflicted discipline. This is when a child decides he doesn’t want to do as he has been told, and you must compel him to follow your lessons. You will accomplish this only by inflicting discipline upon him. If you are a new parent, please don’t get your hopes built up and form a false optimism that your child will always exercise self-discipline with regard to all of your teaching. Be fore-warned: obedience won’t just happen! There will be multitudes of times you will have to inflict discipline upon your little one in order to train him….and the sooner you do this to make him follow, the more quickly your child will develop and exercise his own self-discipline and good judgment.

Wisdom In Raising Children — It costs to acquire wisdom, but it’s worth it! It isn’t enough to own a study Bible and read books about the Bible, helpful as they are. It’s one thing to know about the Bible and quite something else to hear God speak through His Word and teach us His wisdom so that we become more like Jesus Christ.

   We should keep in mind two things: 1. Life is short; and 2. Our eternal existence is greatly influenced by how we live during this short life. It is imperative, then, that we not waste our time through rash and foolish decisions which not only jeopardize our eternal destiny but can also make this life miserable.

 The value of wisdom is especially seen in family relationships: “He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind.” (Prov. 11:29). Life is too short and families grow too fast for us to raise a family through “trial and error”

Consider what many people think is most important in providing for a family Many would say it is the Picture1“necessities” of life such as food and clothing, and a place of shelter. Most would feel that other things are also necessary such as the “finer things” (luxuries) for the children, which parents never had as children. A good “education” for the children,
so they too can be affluent.

  1. Instilling a fear of the Lord  (reverence and awe) Proverbs 15:16: “Better is a little with the fear of the LORD Than great treasure and turmoil with it.”
  2. Giving them love. Proverbs 15:17: “Better is a dish of vegetables where love is Than a fattened ox served with hatred.” Providing an environment where love reigns is more important than providing material abundance. Troubled children come from homes where “love” is lacking, not money!
  3. Providing a peaceful family life. Proverbs 17:1: “Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife.”

    What can be done to insure adequate material provisions for the family: Be righteous! Proverbs 20:7: “A righteous man who walks in his integrity– How blessed are his sons after him.”
    Today that means putting the kingdom of God first in your life. Then God will watch out for you and providentially see that your needs are adequately met! Children of righteous parents are truly blessed! But parents who fail to put God first go through life without God’s providential help, and their children may suffer as a result! Inspired wisdom is explicit in the proper use of “corporeal punishment.” Used properly, it is a demonstration of true love. Proverbs 13:24: “He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

Proper discipline has proper objectives Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14: “Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol.”

Proverbs 29:15: “The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”

Proper discipline has its rewards Proverbs 29:17: “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He
will also delight your soul.”

Proverbs 19:18: “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.”

It is to be applied before the situation gets of out hand (“while there is hope”). It is also to be applied under controlled circumstances (“do not set your heart on his destruction”). i.e., do not put it off  until you strike in anger. There IS a difference between proper “spanking” and “child abuse”!

Look at these important points when you discipline your children, you’re acting like God discipline is a function of love, and appropriate punishment is not something done to a child but for the child spanking before 18 months of age is not wise and after 12 years of age is not effective it should be reserved for times of defiant or rebellious behavior when love is abundant at home, proper discipline (even a spanking) won’t be resented children are gifts from the Lord but between 15-36 months they don’t want to be restricted in any way. They are the most self-centered, manipulative, and controlling things on the planet…parents must be adults and be in charge.

James Dobson: “The proper time to begin disarming the teenage time bomb is 12 years before it arrives. “Children thrive best in an atmosphere of genuine love, undergirded by reasonable and consistent discipline. In a day of widespread drug usage, immorality, sexually transmitted diseases, vandalism, and violence, we must not depend on hope and luck to fashion the critical attitudes we value in our children. In those situations when the child fully understands what he is being asked to do or not to do but refuses to yield to adult leadership, an appropriate spanking is the shortest and most effective route to an attitude adjustment.” (The New Date to Discipline, page 28, 7, and 60-61).

Life is too short and families grow  too fast for us to raise a family  through “trial and error.”

Man’s domestic problems begin when he departs from God’s counsel regarding the home. This study is vital because our understanding of Christ’s relationship to the church is dependent upon His conception of the home. A reminder about Satan The first attack Satan made was against the home: he invaded Eden and led the first  husband and wife into disobedience and judgment.

He is called the “deceiver” and wants us to center our mind upon him, to make us  ignorant of God’s will in our life. He uses lies…Jesus tells us that “Satan is the Father of  all liars…that he cannot tell the truth because it just isn’t in him”….our defense is God’s Word!

He’s also called “the destroyer” and uses suffering in this world to make us impatient with God’s will…we need to remember the unmerited, unending grace that God bestows upon each of us when we choose Jesus and make Him Savior and Lord of our lives!

If he can’t get us through these means, Satan works on our pride and hopes to make us independent of God’s will.  Or he uses accusation as “the accuser” to work on the heart and the conscience to bring an indictment by God’s will.

  1. Satan uses religious leaders today to forbid marriage (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Singleness is a Christian’s option but for most people, marriage is the will of God. Satan’s approach is to convince the person that marriage is sinful. Any teaching  that claims greater spiritual virtues and blessings for the celibate than for the married is of the devil and not from God.
  2. Satan seeks to reverse the headship in the home (1 Tim. 2:11-13; Eph. 5:22-23).  He wants man to be concerned with dictatorship and forget the model of Christ as
    the head of the church; the husband ought to be the head of the wife in a living, loving
    relationship.

What is the answer to life’s difficulties and to Satan’s attacks on our homes? God!! It might be of some comfort to realize that the world has always been a difficult  place in which Christians must live. It has always been opposed to God’s values and God’s will. Satan longs for the soul of any age person who will reject good, right, and truth and turn to his way of thinking. Christians must daily remind themselves of the clear, simple words of Jesus, from Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” {14} “For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.”

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2014 in Family

 

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