Thank you for your positive response to articles given to aid in providing solutions in our homes. This is part two of our guidance on obedience.
Start teaching obedience early. It is important that parents of youngsters 5-6 months old learn that children have different ‘cries.’ Some are there because they are wet, hungry, sleepy, frightened, or in pain. At other times, they are angry and will let their tempers show by stiffening, turning red in the face, and screaming with a loud cry. It is during these little displays of frustration that those parents who are ‘winners’ must give them a slight shake or a firm swat to register your disapproval.
The first word a child must learn is “no!” It usually begins occurring when they are 6-7 months old and is vital because you must teach them that objects are dangerous and that your no is for their protection.
Another early lesson: “come to mother” are also important words that save lives and thousands of steps over the years. When the time comes (and it will) that the toddler begins to run, this is a time when your discipline comes into play and you must win this little confrontation. If you don’t win when they are little, you will not win when they become bigger. Remember, what might be viewed as “cute” by some is rebellion, pure and simple, if they have heard the facts and choose to do something else!
Conquer your child’s will and do it early. “In order to form the minds of children, the first thing to be done is to conquer their wills and bring them to an obedient temper.” Wise words? At some point, your child is going to match his will against yours….you better win! And you must not allow the temper tantrum to win, either. The majority of mothers have thrown in the towel, given up, saying “this isn’t working.” I am thankful that some follow the Lord’s words and won’t allow the child to dictate the facts to her.
Spanking is an event….steps to an event:
- Get a rod.
- Take the child to a private place. The goal is to teach, not embarrass. His self-esteem is also being molded.
- Express disapproval of the action. Say “I love you too much to allow this kind of behavior. This is to help you remember not to let it happen again.”
- Let them ‘feel your disapproval.’ Give them 30-45 seconds of your silence to feel your disapproval before moving on.
- Administer the rod thoroughly on the bottom or legs.
- Take the child back to finish your spoken words. Never drop the subject or switch until the child yields to whatever you asked them to do.
- After sufficient time has elapsed and your child has a yielding spirit, take him into your arms and communicate your love. Taking a child into your arms to quickly leaves him with the idea that you feel you were wrong instead of him.
- Forgive the transgression (that means forget and bring up no more) and go on with living.
The switch also sweetens sour attitudes. With any age child, you may have to watch the attitude. They may yield in body to your requests, but express sarcasm and disrespect with a nasty attitude. They may slouch around, pout, slam doors, kick the cat, or go into seclusion for an excessive amount of time. Don’t put up with this kind of attitude. There is nothing that will sweeten a sour attitude faster than your actions.
Use the rod in the same manner when your child refuses to obey a physical request. A final word about excessive crying: you know the proper time needed to recover from the punishment…it’s OK to say “you hush that crying right now or I’ll give you something else to cry about.”
Trouble With Junior — Junior bit the meter man; Junior kicked the cook. Junior’s anti-social now — (according to the book); Junior smashed the clock and lamp, Junior hacked the tree. (Destructive trends are treated In chapters two and three!) Junior threw the milk at Mom. Junior screamed for more. (Notes on self-assertiveness. Are found in chapter four.) Junior tossed his shoes and socks Out into the rain. (Negation, that, and normal — Disregard the same.) Junior set Dad’s shirt afire, Salted Grandpop’s tea; (That’s to gain attention, see p. 163). Grandpop seized a rod, Yanked Junior across his knee! (Grandpop hasn’t read a book Since 1893).