We often are cautioned that training involves getting a child to follow your instructions…without begging, nagging, anger, and counting.
We should reach the point where you must learn how to accomplish getting this obedience. Are you a winner? Winners are parents who have reared or are rearing obedient children. Their children respect and honor them; they show it in their speech, manners, and actions.
I can remember a visit made a few years back that was important, and, after meeting and greeting the family, it was time for the adults to talk alone in the living room. At the time, two children were in the room watching television.
The husband/father made a simple statement: “Boys, turn the TV off…we have to visit alone for a few minutes.” What did the boys do? Without hesitation (or begging or further explanation) they got up and obeyed their father. No talk back. No nasty attitude involved.
What would you expect as parents? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way in many homes because the children are treated differently on a daily basis and don’t know how to act when “company arrives.”
True obedience in this regard is: (a) immediate; (b) unquestioning, and (c) to the letter — no substitutions, additions, or omissions.
Several years ago we had a house in Ohio with a large open field and wonderful woods just behind us. The children spent many hours in those woods…special time with each other, etc. We had one common-sense rule immediately in place: when either Terry or I called out and wanted the children to come to the house, etc., we called their names and their only response was to be this: “coming.”
Not “what?” Not “do you want something?” It worked often because they had learned obedience.
Rosemond’s Bill of Rights for Children
1. Children have the right to find out early in their lives that their parents don’t exist to make them happy, but to offer them the opportunity to learn the skills they-children-will need to eventually make themselves happy.
2. Children have a right to scream all they want over the decisions their parents make, albeit their parents have the right to confine said screaming to certain areas of their homes.
3. Children have the right to find out early that their parents care deeply for them but don’t give a hoot what their children think about them at any given moment in time.
4. Because it is the most character-building activity a child can engage in, children have the right to share significantly in the doing of household chores.
5. Every child has the right to discover early in life that he isn’t the center of the universe (or his family or his parents’ lives), that he isn’t a big fish in a small pond, and that he’s not even-in the total scheme of things-very important at all, no one is, so as to prevent him from becoming an insufferable brat.
1. Be fair. A man setting out to lead his wife and children must first of all be fair. Listen, especially to the wishes of your wife. Don’t expect of your family what you are not willing to do or be yourself. Take care of your family’s needs before your own.
2. Be firm. When there is no leader, there is no leadership. If you are seeking to be fair, you’ll know when to listen and make changes.
3. Be faithful. A family will do anything asked of them if they know you love them. How can you hurt your wife the most? Don’t love her; avoid her; don’t compliment her; make her feel as if she is inferior. Some treat the waitress better than their wife at home. Our wife needs to know, without doubt, that they are loved! Go visit your child’s teacher at the school they attend; determine their level of maturity as it relates to listening, sitting still, obeying commands, etc., and, please, do not expect less of them at worship than your teacher expects from them at school.