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Author Archives: Gary Davenport

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About Gary Davenport

Christian man, husband, father, father-in-law, and granddaddy

The Myth of “Happily Ever After”


marriage-mythsWe see from 1 Peter 3 that the believing wife can win over her unbelieving husband “without words” by her Christ-like behavior in the home.

We also saw that there are three things she is not ‘given permission’ by God to do: She cannot leave. She should not nag. She must not lead…the husband is still head of that home and, unless he is against God, she must continue following in that relationship.

We have often heard the phrase “happily ever after” when attending a wedding of two special people, deeply in love, and making vows before God, family, and friends. The Disney empire has fed our romantic fantasies for fairy tales so we are captivated by storybook romance.

This is not the Christian view. Our faith sees the wedding day not as a place of arrival but the place where the adventure begins.”1

The divorce rate in our culture is at an all-time high. Whatever happened to “happily ever after”? Why is it so hard to maintain the hopes and dreams that surround a beautiful wedding with all its promises of love and fidelity, sacrifice and service?

Marriage counselors Les and Leslie Parrott have an idea. In their excellent book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, they suggest four myths that have torpedoed many marriages because of unrealistic expectations and misconceptions about what marriage should be.

“For too long,” the Parrotts write, “marriage has been saddled with unrealistic expectation and misguided assumptions. Liberated from these four myths, couples can settle into the real world of marriage—with all its joys and sorrows, passion and pain.”2

Many people know that something is wrong but they don’t know what; and you can’t fix or change something if you don’t know what’s wrong in the first place. Many of our marriage problems are due to harmful expectations and beliefs that fly in the face of “real reality.” One divorce lawyer told the Parrotts that the number-one reason people split up is that they “refuse to accept the fact that they are married to a human being.”3 In this article we bust the myth of “happily ever after.”

Myth #1: “We Expect Exactly the Same Things From Marriage”

When people are in love, it’s easy to assume that the other person has the same values and expectations as we do. But every family has its own culture, so to speak, and we tend to expect life will continue the same way once we’re adults as it was while we were growing up. One way these differing expectations play out is in the unspoken rules of each family.

We are usually not aware of our unspoken rules and expectations unless there is much time to ‘get to know each other’ or until the other person violates them.

I recently heard a great word of wisdom: “Expectations are the mother of resentments.” How true is that?! When our spouse doesn’t live up to our unspoken expectations, we can feel frustrated and irritated, and often we don’t even know why we’re upset because we don’t know what’s wrong. It’s helpful to think through “the rules” of one’s family so that unspoken rules and expectations are brought out into the light of examination.

Here are some rules from various families:

  • Don’t ask for help unless you’re desperate.
    • Downplay your successes.
    • Be invisible.
    • Get someone else to do the hard or dirty work.
    • Don’t get sick.
    • Never ever get angry.
    • Don’t talk about your body.
    • Don’t go to bed without cleaning the kitchen.
    • Don’t talk about your feelings.
    • Don’t ever upset Daddy.

Can you see how these unspoken rules can cause havoc if a spouse doesn’t know about them?

Another source of mismatched expectations is the unconscious roles that spouses fall into, the way an actor follows a script. We inherit expectations about how wives and husbands act by watching our parents and other adults, and we often play out those roles the same way unless we choose to change it. For example, one new husband surprised his wife at dinner by picking up his empty iced tea glass and tinkling the ice cubes.

His father had always signaled this way to his mother that he was ready for more tea. The bride was not pleased to learn that her husband expected to play the role of pampered king whose every whim was gladly granted!

The myth that “we expect exactly the same things from marriage” is busted by identifying and talking about unspoken expectations and unconscious roles. The more openly couples discuss their differing expectations, the more likely they are to create a vision of marriage that they can agree on. It’s good planning to work through some of those “my family does it this way” scenarios well in advance of the actual marriage ceremony.

Myth #2: “Everything Good in Our Relationship Will Get Better”

Most people, when they fall in love, really believe their love will last forever because it’s so intense and intoxicating. It’s hard not to believe that everything good about the relationship will just continue to get better and better as time goes on. But reality “is that not everything gets better. Many things improve in relationships, but some things become more difficult. Every successful marriage requires necessary losses, and in choosing to marry, you inevitably go through a mourning process.”4

For some, marriage means giving up childhood. It means giving up the safety and security of being your parents’ child, and becoming a full-fledged adult. God makes this statement in Genesis 2:24 when He says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Marriage means the end of childhood, and that can feel like a loss to be mourned.

Marriage also “means giving up a carefree lifestyle and coming to terms with new limits. It means unexpected inconveniences.”5 Marriage means always passing one’s plans and choices through the filter of “us.” Since “the two become one,” many of our even mundane life choices impact someone else. That can feel like a loss to be faced, as well.

The Parrotts write, “By far the most dramatic loss experienced in a new marriage is the idealized image you have of your partner. This was the toughest myth we encountered in our marriage. Each of us had an airbrushed mental picture of who the other was. But eventually, married life asked us to look reality square in the face and reckon with the fact that we did not marry the person we thought we did.”6

It is an illusion that the intense romantic thrill of the beginning of a relationship will last forever. “Debunking the myth of eternal romance will do more than just about anything to help . . . build a lifelong happy marriage.”7 When we get past the myth of continual bliss with a perfect partner, we can embrace the reality that we married another flawed and fallen human being. This is good news, because God only gives grace for reality, nor for illusion or temporary enchantment. And this is good news because intimacy is only available with a real person, not with an idealized image.

Myth #3: “Everything Bad in My Life Will Disappear”

Remember the story of Cinderella? A poor, mistreated stepchild who is forced to serve her wicked step-family is magically turned into a beautiful princess. She is rescued by her Prince Charming and they live . . . all together now . . . “happily ever after.” And don’t we all long for a Prince Charming or a beautiful princess to make us happy and wipe away every tear from our eyes?

The myth of a “happily ever after” life is a legitimate longing of our hearts. We ache to return to Eden where everything bad in our lives will disappear. God promises that He will eventually make all things right again, but it doesn’t happen in marriage between two fallen human beings living in a fallen world.

Marriage is a glorious institution invented by God, but it “does not erase personal pain or eliminate loneliness. Why? Because people get married primarily to further their own well-being, not to take care of their partners’ needs. The bad traits and feelings you carried around before you were married remain with you as you leave the wedding chapel. A marriage certificate is not a magical glass slipper.”8

The Parrotts write, “Getting married cannot instantly cure all our ills, but marriage can become a powerful healing agent over time. If you are patient, marriage can help you overcome even some of the toughest of tribulations.”9

Perhaps the biggest reason for this is the amazing power of love. I believe God’s love is the strongest healing agent in the universe. In marriage, He can love us through our spouses; He can be “Jesus with skin on” to each of us.

A healthy marriage can become a place to wrap up unfinished business from childhood and deal with unresolved hurts. It’s a myth that everything bad in our lives will disappear when we say “I do,” but God’s grace is bigger than the myth. We still live in a fallen world with a fallen spouse, but God can bring much grace through mutual love.

Myth #4: “My Spouse Will Make Me Whole”

One of the greatest lines in all of movie history belongs to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire where he tells his wife, “You complete me.” It is romantic and feels emotionally satisfying—but in reality, it’s just not true.

Couples who swallow the myth that their spouse will make them whole are in danger of going to one of two extremes. One is an unhealthy dependence on the other that the Parrotts term an enmeshed relationship. They unconsciously make their partner completely responsible for their well-being. They are like ticks that constantly attempt to suck life and love and meaning from their spouse. It is a form of idolatry, because they are looking to their partner to provide emotional “living water” that only God can give.

The other extreme is a disengaged relationship of what the Parrotts call “rugged self-reliance.” These spouses are so isolated and independent from each other that they function more like neighbors or business associates than a God-created union of two souls.

The first kind of couple is looking for wholeness from their partner; the second kind of couple is looking for wholeness from within. It is also a form of idolatry, because they are looking to themselves instead of God to provide meaning for life.

Neither enmeshed nor disengaged relationships are healthy, and neither will allow the people in them to experience wholeness. A sense of wholeness is found in an interdependent relationship where two people with self-respect and dignity make a commit-ment to nurture their own spiritual and emotional growth as well as their partner’s.

Enmeshed relationships are like the capital letter A. They lean on each other so much that if one moves, the whole structure falls down. Their security is in another person instead of in God.

Disengaged relationships are like the letter H. Partners stand virtually alone. If one lets go, the other hardly feels a thing. Interdependent relationships are like the letter M. They could stand on their own, but they choose to stay connected to the other out of their fullness, not out of their emptiness. If one lets go, the other feels a loss but can recover.

Every marriage is between two broken and fallen people who cannot make each other whole. We are called to love and respect each other, serve and celebrate each other—but only God can make us whole.

“Happily ever after” may be for fairy tales, but that doesn’t mean there is no such thing as a happy, rich, fulfilling marriage. But it’s only possible for those who live in reality, not in the fantasy of make-believe myths. May God give us grace to trust Him to walk in truth and not illusion.

________________

Notes

  1. Les and Leslie Parrott. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1995), 26.
    2. Ibid., 16.
    3. Ibid., 23.
    4. Ibid., 21.
    5. Ibid., 22.
    6. Ibid.
    7. Ibid.
    8. Ibid., 24.
    9. Ibid., 25.
 
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Posted by on February 25, 2016 in Marriage

 

Words To Live By Series #7 Honor Your Parents


Sunday 1030amThe fifth of these Words to Live By brings us to a fundamental responsibility in human relations. The commandment says: Exodus 20:12 (ESV) “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

Our own common sense tells us that we need some rules for preserving and strengthening family life.

The family is being challenged for its right to endure. Many are choosing to forego marriage. Others are substituting life together without marriage for the traditional marriage relationship.

Those who do choose the traditional arrangement are having problems keeping things together and achieving stability within their marriages.

The family is primary to God as a means for blessing and guiding human lives. With the failure of so many homes in the different ways already identified, the will of God is being thwarted too frequently. One of the rules for right living points to the need for keeping the family strong through proper relationships between children and their parents.

What does it mean to honor our mother and father? To honor means more than demonstrating sentimental feelings. The word “honor” literally means to give weight or heaviness. To honor someone then means that we take them seriously.

Mark 7:9-13 (ESV) 9  And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! 10  For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 11  But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God)— 12  then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, 13  thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Ephesians 6:1-3: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother this is the first commandment with a promise, ‘that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.'”

There are some things that commend themselves to us as proper and right. Surely one of those things is showing honor to the man and woman responsible for bringing you into the world, feeding you, getting your cavities filled, nursing you when you were sick, and doing the million other things that go with being a parent.

Children can always derive great personal benefit from seeking and heeding the counsel of their parents. A child who has finished high school or a few years of college may already have more education than his parents; what he may not realize is that he is not yet as smart as his parents. There are some things that nobody learns except by living, having experience, failing at some things and bouncing back. The best lessons about life come from the good counsel of godly parents. If you have a relationship with people who have lived long enough to learn those lessons and who will share their wisdom with you, your life will be blessed.

We should honor our parents because the day will come when we cannot show them the honor we would like to give. Some don’t have your parents with you any longer. I hope you don’t have to look back with regret. I once told my parents that I appreciated all they had done for me…my mother promptly said this: “Do you know what you can do? Do it for your own children.”

Respect Is a Two-Way Street

The Bible teaches that children need discipline. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24). The sort of discipline spoken of here is administered with patience, tenderness, and love.

Severity of punishment in dealing with children violates the teaching of Paul: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

Obedience must be learned, and it is the job of parents to teach it to their children. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Children need to cooperate with their parents in creating a good home. Parents should not have to fight their children for control of the family.

In America, several factors tend to undermine honoring parents.

(1.) There is the impact of technology. In previous generations fathers were often craftsmen, who had learned their trade from their fathers. It took a son years to match his own father in skills, and he would only gradually pass him up.

Now, a child in elementary school may be learning things that parents never heard of. Who of us, for example, would want to try to explain some of the math our kids are being taught in school? Thus, each new generation quickly surpasses the preceding generation in the knowledge it possesses. There is much temptation for the younger generation to think of its parents as out of date, antiquated in thinking. In a society where knowledge is prized more than wisdom, the older generation is fortunate to be respected, let alone honored, by the younger generation.

(2) Because of the rapid increase of divorce, children are often called upon to honor one parent and to despise the other. Neither parent can seem to tolerate the thought of the former mate having the respect of their child. If this were not bad enough, Freudian Psychology has provided each generation with an excuse to blame all of its problems on family members from our past. Countless expeditions into the parental past has provided many individuals with an expensive excursion into past history in order to pin the blame for their sins on someone else, often one or both parents.

(3) If it is possible to pin the blame for our problems on someone else, it is also easy to pin the responsibility of caring for aging parents on someone else. Perhaps more than any other time in history, we are looking to the government to carry much of the burden families have borne in providing for the needs of their aging parents. Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and other government programs are viewed as the means for handling our obligation as children to our parents.

1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV) But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

(4) Honor is due to more than just parents. The New Testament requires the Christian to honor all men (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 2:17). Learning to honor parents is thus a significant step in the direction of honoring others.

(5) If children must give honor to their parents, then parenting must be an honorable occupation. One should hardly have to make such a statement, but in today’s world it is necessary to do so. The fact that women line up at abortion clinics around the country and in various parts of the world suggests that bearing and raising children is viewed as something far less than a blessing. This rejects the clear teaching of the Bible. Those who would leave the home and seek fulfillment in the working world in order to gain dignity and respect have also turned from the truth of God’s Word. Let those who would seek to avoid parenting be reminded that in God’s Word parenting is a most honorable occupation.

(6) The way in which one relates to parents changes with conversion. When a person comes to Christ through baptism, there are a number of significant changes. When a person becomes a child of God by faith, God becomes a Father to them in a new and previously unknown way. While God was once denied, and His authority rejected (Ephesians 2:1‑3), now He is our Heavenly Father, with final authority, authority which has priority over all others, including fathers and mothers. As we have seen from our Lord’s teaching, faith in Christ may alienate children from their parents.

(7) The way in which one relates to parents changes with marriage. Marriage is usually the first of several dramatic changes in the child’s relationship with his parents. In the Book of Genesis, God revealed that marriage was to bring about a change in the way a child relates to his parents: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

  • First, the son leaves the authority structure of his parents home to establish a new home, under his authority. This passage draws the son out from under his parents’ authority, as he had once been. My parents or Terry’s parents no longer had authority/control over us when we married…but of course are available to offer counsel when we asked for it.
  • Second, the son is to leave home so that his devotion and affection will be primarily focused upon his wife. Certainly the son’s affection toward his parents is not terminated, but leaving his home lessens the competition between a man’s father and mother and his wife for his devotion and attention.
  • Third, the instruction in this text suggests to us that the parent‑child relationship is temporary, the husband‑wife relationship is permanent.

(8) We honor our parents most when we obey and honor God in our lives. The highest goal of parents is to raise the child God has entrusted to them in such a way as to encourage and promote trust in God and obedience to His Word. Whenever a child trusts in God and obeys His Word, He honors his parents. Even an unbelieving parent is honored by a believing and obedient child.

(9) Honoring parents does not always mean that the child does what his parents want. Father and Mother are not to be honored because they are perfect, but because they are parents. They, like their children, are plagued with the frailties of mankind. They, like their children, sin. They will therefore make many mistakes in the parenting process. They will command that their children do the wrong things, at times. At times they will also forbid their children to do what is right.

(10) Honoring parents may someday require parenting parents. It is an irony indeed, but those who were once parented by fathers and mothers often find themselves parenting their parents in their final years of life. The parent that once fed and diapered the child may in the last days of their life be fed and diapered by their children. The child who was once parented now becomes his parent’s parent, making decisions for them, sometimes having to make choices against their will, even deciding how long to allow artificial, life preserving devices to maintain some semblance of life. There is no thought less pleasant than this, but for many it has been, is, or will be a reality.

(11) Since we must honor all men, this means that parents must honor their children. Much has been said and written about developing self‑esteem in children. I think I would differ with some of this teaching, based upon the fact that much self‑esteem is simply renamed pride, and the Book of Proverbs has more to say about the need for humility in a child than self-confidence (and certainly than self‑love). We must, however, deal with our children in a way that not only manifests our own dignity (cf. 1 Timothy 3:4), but also reflects the dignity of the child as a creation of God, one for whom Christ died. Thus, we must honor our children, as we must honor all others.

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2016 in counsel, Family, Marriage, Sermon

 

Is God inclusive or exclusive?


Exclusive Is God inclusive or exclusive? Both! He wants all to be saved but there are “steps of faith.” Peter proclaimed the clear answer in 2 Peter 3: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Churches today are less and less likely to ask “What does the Bible say?” and more likely to ask, “What does the community want?” We need to be reminded that the church belongs to the Lord, not the community. The church is uniquely His and was designed to be His servant to take His gospel to a lost and dying world.

Truth has become trivial, irrelevant. Realize that 72% of Americans between the ages of 18-25 now believe that there is no such thing as absolute truth!

David F. Wells, God in the Wasteland, “We have turned to a God that we can use rather than to a God we must obey; we have turned to a God who will fulfill our needs rather than to a God before whom we must surrender our rights to ourselves. He is a God for us, for our satisfaction – not because we have learned to think of him in this way through Christ but because we have learned to think of him this way through the marketplace.
   “In the marketplace, everything is for us, for our pleasure, for our satisfaction, and we have come to assume that it must be so in the church as well. And so we transform the God of mercy into a God who is at our mercy.”

Jesus once asked regarding John the Baptizer, (Matthew 11:7) “As John’s disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: “What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind?” A reed is a symbol of instability; it pictures that which yields to other forces.

On the other hand, Paul described the church as the “pillar and ground of the truth” (1 Tim. 3:15). The imagery here is that of a solid, immovable foundation. It is a question that the church of today must ask. Are we a “reed shaken in the wind,” or are we the “pillar and ground of the truth”?

Real Love – Real love doesn’t leave another person in error. Real love takes the time to show them the error of their way:  (Galatians 6:1) “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”
(2 Timothy 2:24-26) “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. {25} Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, {26} and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”

inclusion-wordle11Jesus was exclusive! (John 14:6) “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Unless you believe that I am He (John 8:24) “I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am the one I claim to be, you will indeed die in your sins.””

One Gospel  – (Galatians 1:6-9) “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel– {7} which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. {8} But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! {9} As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!”

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Posted by on February 18, 2016 in Encouragement, Marriage

 

Words To Live By Series – #6 Respect Human Life


Sunday 1030am“You shall not commit murder” (Exodus 20:13)

 The sixth commandment was given to guard the sanctity of human life. Life was cheap in many ancient cultures. Unwanted or deformed infants were routinely exposed in Greek and Roman times. The brutal practice of gladiatorial combat to the death is frightening to read about in history books. Tyrannical rulers would have generals, friends, or even family members killed on the spot for the pettiest of offenses. Those were harsh and evil times.

Before we rush to congratulate ourselves on being more civilized, enlightened, and moral than those cultures, reflect for a moment on our own situation. 23,000 + people were murdered in the United States in 2015, and approximately 1.5 million abortions are performed annually in our country. There is good reason to think we have not come very far in our regard for human life.

Human life is sacred by virtue of the fact that it is in God’s own image.  On the sixth day of the creative week, God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:27a). We honor God when we respect and preserve his image in one another; we sin against him by treating other human beings with contempt. Living by the rules calls for a healthy respect for human life.

Life is a gift from God, and only He has the authority to take life. Because we’re made in God’s image, murder is an attack against God: Genesis 1:26-27 (ESV) 26  Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 9:6 (ESV)  “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.

The issue here is premeditated murder, which Jesus said could have its beginning in anger: Matthew 5:21-26 (ESV) “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’  22  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23  So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24  leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25  Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26  Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

The Jews were allowed to defend themselves and the idea of self-defense is recognized in modern law: (Exodus 22:2 (ESV) If a thief is found breaking in and is struck so that he dies, there shall be no bloodguilt for him.

All nations make concessions for accidental death; but murder was a capital offense: Exodus 21:12-14 (ESV) “Whoever strikes a man so that he dies shall be put to death. 13  But if he did not lie in wait for him, but God let him fall into his hand, then I will appoint for you a place to which he may flee. 14  But if a man willfully attacks another to kill him by cunning, you shall take him from my altar, that he may die.

As Noah stepped out of the ark to become the new head of the human race, the Almighty called his attention to the sacredness of human life and stated the penalty which was to be exacted from anyone who might dare to take a human life without justification. “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for God made man in his own image” (Genesis 9:6). Anyone who shows such irreverence toward God as to shed innocent blood must pay with his own life.

(1) It is not enough to keep the Sixth Commandment as a precept, we must keep the Sixth Commandment in a broader context. If we are to view murder as so evil that we never wish to be tempted to kill someone, we must deal with those attitudes and actions which incline us toward murder, if not dealt with.

(2) Anger harbored against a brother can become a motive for murder. No one will ever know the number of murders which were the result of anger, but the percentage of such cases would be very high.

(3) Viewing a brother as inferior, as worthless, or as a liability to society is a motive for murder. “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason with your neighbor, lest you bear sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord” (Deuteronomy 19:17-18).

“You have heard that it was said to the men of old, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:21-22).

The terms “Raca” and “fool” are not just evil because they are names which we call another. These names betray an attitude on the part of the name‑caller that the world would be a better place without those thus named. Many who have taken the life of another have done so thinking they have done society a favor.

Hatred of another human being is also an offense against the sanctity of life.  Jesus taught that murder originates in a heart filled with hatred (Matthew 15:19). The Bible teaches that hatred is wrong of itself.

Hatred, strife, and malice are sins against personality. They have no place in the life of one who has committed himself to living by the rules of heaven.

 (4) Irreconciled relationships and unresolved conflicts can lead to murder. The Lord applied His teaching on murder by urging His hearers to promote and hasten the process of reconciliation. Unresolved conflicts only intensify, sometimes to the point murder.

Finally, let us identify some of the things in our own society which constitute violations of the sanctity of human life.

First, and most obviously, murder is a violation of the eternal principle which underlies the divine rule about life. Our world has an element which has no conscience about cold-blooded murder. Terrorists break into international sports events and waste lives; civilian and military representatives of the United States are vulnerable to kidnapping and assassination in various parts of the world; senseless and brutal murders of elderly people take place in every city in our own nation.

Second, personal injury to another person is a violation of life’s sanctity. Mugging, rape, or other forms of bodily harm are wrong. So are racism, mockery, or other psychological attacks against others. To set oneself against another human being with the intent of doing injury of any sort is an offense against one’s own humanity.

Going a step further, Scripture teaches that we are obligated to lend our assistance to people in trouble. It is one thing not to harm another; it is still another to become involved in trying to help that person with his problem. “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it” (Proverbs 3:27; cf. James 4:17).

Third, abortion is a form of deliberate and unjustified taking of life that our society has come to tolerate and defend. The vast majority of the million and a half abortions performed annually in this country are for the convenience of the mother. The child is simply unwanted or inconvenient.

Of course the fundamental issue with regard to abortion is this: What is human life? From a biblical perspective, anyone conceived of human parents is human. Or, to say it in scientific terms, any organism with a human genetic code must be regarded as human life. From conception forward, every cell in the body of a developing fetus bears a distinctively human genetic code.

Some Things NOT Prohibited by This Rule

The Law of Moses distinguished at least three types of homicide. First, there is premeditated murder. This is planning ahead of time, lying in wait, taking the person off guard, and slaying him. It is killing a person in the course of committing some other crime against him, such as the case just posited of killing someone while trying to rob him. This type of criminal act is discussed at Numbers 35:16-21.

Second, there is accidental homicide. If two men are working together and one unintentionally causes a rock to fall which crushes his partner to death, no act of murder is involved. Numbers 35:22-28 discusses this sort of accidental death and specifies the right of protection an individual would have against anyone who thought his act was a malicious one. He could flee to one of three cities of refuge in Israel’s territory and claim sanctuary from the city’s officials.

Third, there is what we call self-defense or justifiable homicide. ”If a thief is found breaking in, and is struck so that he dies, there shall be no bloodguilt for him” (Exodus 22:2).

Of these three types of homicide, only the first is specified by the sixth commandment. The following, then, are not prohibited by this rule for right living or the eternal principle of respect for life underlying it.

Police action is not prohibited. Peter teaches that Christians are to acknowledge the right of the state, its rulers, and their agents to punish wrongdoers. “Be subject for the Lord’s sake for every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to praise those who do right” (l Peter 2:13-14).

Participation in a justified war is not prohibited. In the New Testament, soldiers are not required to give up their careers in view of the appearance of the Christ (cf. Luke 3:14; Acts 10). To the contrary, remember that Romans 13 says the state is constituted for the purpose of executing God’s vengeance on evildoers.

What is a “justified war”? War is justified when a nation uses its military force to turn back a genuine threat to the security of its people and the protection of innocent people.

Capital punishment is not prohibited. The Old Testament not only permitted but required the death penalty for murder (Genesis 9:6), rape (Deuteronomy 22:5), kidnapping (Exodus 21:16), and several offenses against the theocracy of Yahweh in Israel (Deuteronomy 13:5; 17:2-7).

Moving to the New Testament, one finds that it upholds rather than repudiates the right of the state to enforce the death penalty for certain crimes. Both testaments were written by the same God, a God whose character does not change. He did not evolve from a brutal person in the Old Testament to a loving one in the New Testament. He has always been loving, but his love has never allowed him to ignore justice. So the civil circumstances identified in the Old Testament for the taking of life are acknowledged again in the New Testament.

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2016 in Sermon

 

From Legalism to Gratitude 1 John 4:19


tumblr_lsjbn5dB9p1qbatwqo1_1280(1 John 4:19)  We love because he first loved us.

This is one of the most important messages I could ever present! It gets to the very heart and soul of who we are as Christians! Please listen closely with your heart and mind. We’re about to go to a most important place.

 We begin with the tale of two fathers: the first on a little league baseball field. It’s a hot day and very dusty…a lot of sons around us with great emotions. (describe scene where one son –the best player on the team — strikes out at the key point of the game…his dad is leaning on the fence behind the back stop: response of his father: you’re pathetic!)

 How could anyone treat their son like that? Can you imagine what it would be like living in that house?

 The 2nd father? His son made a series of bad decisions and ended up in the worst possible place morally a son could end up. He came to the realization that he wasn’t even worthy of being the son of this father.

 His father’s response? Luke 15:20: “So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. {21} “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ {22} “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. {23} Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. {24} For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” {32} “But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'”

 Two fathers. Two very different responses! Two different kind of relationships! Both fathers may have had broken hearts, but they handled it differently!

 Which one best describes the relationship you have with your heavenly Father! We know one is made up…the 2nd father is the inspired description of our God!

 This is a lesson entitles “From Legalism to Gratitude.” Father #1 is the Christian legalist, while Father #2 is Christian gratitude.

Legalism is not about keeping rules; we all have truths, standards, teachings that put before us right and wrong.

 Legalism IS about our motivation for keeping those rules! It’s a twisted system that implies that it is difficult to gain God’s love. That we are always in a position of needing to earn the love of God.

 It’s a response to love withheld. It ends best with what I do, my power, my achievements.

 And it produces fear! Inside it causes us to be “scared to death” because we never know how we stand with God.

 It ultimately crushes the spirit. Our religious beliefs aren’t a blessing. Eventually we begin to realize that we’re trying to earn the love of a Father who cannot/will not be pleased!

 This legalistic attitude is 180 degrees opposite to the development of faith and maturity in the Bible. It’s completely against the teachings of both Paul and John: 

 (Rom 8:1 NIV)  “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,”

 (1 John 5:13 NIV)  “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.”

 When God gave the 10 commandments to the children of Israel, before He began, He makes clear that He wants their response to be based on a relationship with Him:

(Exodus 20:1-3 NIV)  And God spoke all these words: {2} “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. {3} “You shall have no other gods before me.

 Listen to the words given to Israel as they are about the possess the promised land:

(Joshua 24:1-3 NIV)  Then Joshua assembled all the tribes of Israel at Shechem. He summoned the elders, leaders, judges and officials of Israel, and they presented themselves before God. {2} Joshua said to all the people, “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Long ago your forefathers, including Terah the father of Abracham and Nahor, lived beyond the River and worshiped other gods. {3} But I took your father Abraham from the land beyond the River and led him throughout Canaan and gave him  wemany descendants. I gave him Isaac,

  (Joshua 24:13-15 NIV)  So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant.’ {14} “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. {15} But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, th Graen choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

 (Gal 2:15-16 NIV)  “”We who are Jews by birth and not ‘Gentile sinners’ {16} know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.”

 (Gal 2:21 NIV)  “I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!””

 (Rom 8:15-17 NIV)  “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” {16} The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. {17} Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

 Our life as Christians is NOT about earning love from a God who won’t give it!! No Way! The greatest expression of God’s love is in the death of His Son. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8, nasb).

 The sending of Christ into the world, and His death on the cross, were not prompted by man’s love for God. They were prompted by His love for man. The world’s attitude toward God is anything but love!

 It is important that Christians progress in their understanding of love. To love one another simply out of a sense of duty is good, but to love out of appreciation (rather than obligation) is even better.

 

GRATITUDE LEGALISM
Love lavished; we are “sons” “daughters” Love withheld
What God has done What I do
Confidence (certain of eternity) Fear (judgment)
Security Insecurity
Fill our spirit Crushes our spirit
Bless our lives Curse our life

 After Peter’s denials

(Luke 22:61 NIV)  “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.””

 Story of two husbands and the list. One never said “thank you” or “I love you.” Always had a list of things he expected her to do each day.  He died…she married someone who said/showed deep love. Found “the list” many years later and broke down in tears…realized she was doing everything on “the list” for the second husband in the midst of a very different atmosphere!

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2016 in Sermon

 

Words To Live By Series #5 Use Your Time to God’s Glory


Sunday 1030amAs we talk about Words to Live By, we find again an important principle from our text for today: Exodus 20:8 (ESV) “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

I want to be absolutely clear from the outset: Christians today were never under the Old Testament law. It was given to the Jews but Gentiles were never under it. Those who honor a Saturday day of worship do so by their own choice and in a total disregard of the New Testament practice of the apostles and the first century church. And I have yet to have anyone explain why they would honor a Sabbath Day worship and disregard most/all the other teachings of the Old Testament.

BUT from the beginning of Genesis there is much we learn about God, the way He deals with the world and people, and principles that guide our walk as Christians. Today’s Words to Live By: : Use Your Time to God’s Glory.

Our English word “sabbath” is from a Hebrew term which means cessation or rest. This holy day of rest was observed on Saturday, the seventh day of the week.

The sabbath recalled God’s rest after six days of creative work. Beyond that, it was instituted to allow the Jews a fixed time for deliberate worship to Yahweh.

The first four “words to live by” focused on our relationship with God. The first three words reveal to us who God is and who he isn’t, but the fourth word creates the environment for the relationship with the God who delivers, the God who cannot be manipulated or made into our image. We are to keep a day of rest dedicated to worship, thus keeping it holy. God designed it as a special day for the whole community.

And it takes us to the beginning of time itself: Genesis 2:1-3 (ESV)
1  Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
2  And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.
3  So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

The principle contribution is to establish a precedent on which future Sabbath commandments will be based. The precedent is one that God Himself established with regard to the seventh creation day. This text draws together three separate, but related, events:

God finished His work of creating the universe.

God rested on the seventh day because His creation work was finished.

God blessed and sanctified the seventh day because on it He rested.

It also was found in actual practice early in the life of the Israelites (note this was before the giving of the 10 commandments). They were already being taught this in the wilderness: Exodus 16:22-30 Now it came about on the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for each one. When all the leaders of the congregation came and told Moses, then he said to them, “This is what the Lord meant: Tomorrow is a Sabbath observance, a holy Sabbath to the LORD. Bake what you will bake and boil what you will boil, and all that is left over put aside to be kept until morning.” So they put it aside until morning, as Moses had ordered, and it did not become foul, nor was there any worm in it.

And Moses said, “Eat it today, for today is a Sabbath to the LORD; today you will not find it in the field. Six days you shall gather it, but on the seventh day, the Sabbath, there will be none.” And it came about on the seventh day that some of the people went out to gather, but they found none. Then the LORD said to Moses, “How long do you refuse to keep My commandments and My instructions? See, the LORD has given you the Sabbath, therefore He gives you bread for two days on the sixth day. Remain every man in his place; let no man go out of his place on the seventh day.” So they rested on the seventh day (Exod. 16:22-30).

Then the ‘official’ law was given: Exodus 20:9: Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, 10  but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 11  For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

This text makes several significant contributions to the developing doctrine of the Sabbath.

First, it is the first occurrence of the term “Sabbath” in the Bible.

Second, it is the first time in the Bible that Israel is commanded to observe a Sabbath practice of any kind. Here, the practice is specifically related to resting from the work of gathering manna.

Third, manna was not to be gathered on the seventh day because it was a “Sabbath to the Lord” (vss. 23, 26).

We see that it was first a “Sabbath to the Lord,” and secondarily a “Sabbath for the Israelites.”

God did two things differently to set this Sabbath aside as something distinct, something sanctified:

(1) God caused manna not to fall on the Sabbath (v. 27).

(2) God kept the double portion of manna gathered on the sixth day from rotting, as it did on all other days (cp. vss. 20, 24).

There are two additional features of this “Sabbath instruction” in the light of Israel’s past.

The first is that this command not to gather manna was a very gracious and positive gift from God. Moses told the Israelites that God had given them the Sabbath (v. 29). There were few if any days off in Egypt for slaves. The gift of one day off a week was indeed intended to be a blessing, to be gratefully received.

The second feature of the Sabbath was that it established a seven-day week. We might assume that this is always the way men have divided time, but research has shown that the Egyptians followed a ten day week. Thus, God was reordering Israel’s conception of time.

And when you put these two together, you have a new principle…we see the relationship between time and godliness: The relationship between the first three commandments and the fourth is becoming increasingly clear. The first three commandments impress upon the saint the necessity, indeed the priority, of worship.

The fourth commandment insures the time which is required for worship. When viewed together these commandments inform us that it takes time to be holy. The fourth commandment prohibits preoccupation with the normal activity of work so that men may have/take time to worship God.

As Old Testament scholar Bruce Waltke writes: “Sabbath benefits the individual, but it is an act of grace for the individual to others. By virtue of resting, one takes the pressure off numerous others to work. A master who rests offers rest to the slaves and servants. A boss who rests takes pressure off the workers. In this light, God’s rest on the seventh day is an additional act of grace, giving sanction for all of creation to rest as well.”1

Satan has been in the business of hindering the worship of Christians in 21th century America. We are workaholics, and, in addition, worn out by the time demands of our day. It is no wonder that the quality of our worship can he less than what God deserves and wants. We must have free time to worship, and we must plan our week so that we finish in time to have that time. It does take time to be holy.

Principle 1: The Principle of Remembering [Honoring God, listening, holiness]

Our lives can get so busy that we lose the ability to reflect and refresh. “Be Still and Know that I am God” is a song we need to sing more often. Being still and quiet reminds us that He is God and we are not.

Remembering and Holiness allows us to experience true rest: We are overwhelmed with leisure. Our play is sometimes a lot of work.

“The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” (Mark 6:30-31). True rest is rest with God.

Principle 2: The Principle of Trust. The Sabbath is about respecting ourselves and connecting with our Creator God.

The rationale for the Sabbath in Exodus is found in the created order. Cycles and patterns are part of the created order. “God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh.” The seventh day is not unimportant. It has real meaning. The seventh day is a day in which God enjoys his work. The seventh day is when God created satisfaction, tranquility, peace.

God’s creating order teaches us how life is supposed to be lived, and if we understand the principle of Sabbath Trust, then we can reflect on how we tune our lives to the rhythms of the created order.

The created order is an interconnected system and the observances of holy periods of rest are for the best. Learning to trust God’s wisdom in the created order rather becoming so proud that we do whatever we want.

Principle 3: The Principle of Humanity/Spirituality. The Sabbath is about respecting the world God made – the land and resources — rather than overusing it and abusing it.  The rationale for the Sabbath is a sense of justice. The Sabbath was a way of keeping God’s people from relapsing into slavery. The power of Pharaoh had dehumanized and demeaned the people through the overwork of slavery.

Likewise, the Old Testament has more to say about Sabbath. In Exodus 23 and again in Leviticus 25, Israel is commanded to observe a Sabbath year every seventh year, so that the land could rest and the poor and the beasts of the field could eat from it. (Exodus 23:10-11).

So, the Sabbath declares to all that “We are not slaves.” This is more than private time. This is a public feature of the community. Notice that the Sabbath wasn’t simply for the wealthy or the true members of Israel. It was communal and it even extended to servants and foreigners living among them….no one is taken advantage of.

This principle of Sabbath keeps us from serving the wrong master. Can our institutions really respect this? Chick-Fil-A is a rarity in the world of business. Every Chick-fil-a store is closed on Sunday. The only rationale is that it honors God and it honors employees. The founder of Chick-Fil-A has been told countless times about the profit he is losing by being closed on Sunday. But Truett Cathy seems to recognize a principle greater than profit. The Sabbath is about respecting human beings rather than abusing, using, or enslaving them.

Why do Christians observe Sunday as the day of worship rather than Saturday? A look at the New Testament evidence proves that Sunday has been the special day of worship for Christians from the very beginning (cf. Acts 20:7; 1 Corinthians 16:2). Sunday is sacred as the day on which Christ rose from the dead (Matthew 28:1) and on which the church began (Acts 2:lff). Early on it came to be known as “the Lord’s Day” (Revelation 1:10).

While Sunday did not become a state holiday until Constantine made it such in 321, it has been the special day of Christian worship from the day the church was founded.

Good stewardship of time under the Lord Jesus involves learning to live a well-ordered life which has a place for family, exercise, rest, chores, recreation, wage earning, and sleep as well as for prayer, Bible reading, and church assemblies.

We disgrace ourselves and horrify God by having a frenzy so as to break both health and sanity! Good religion is, among other things, good sense about the use of precious time.

Stewardship of your time under God involves giving priority to your family. Don’t let a busy life crowd out your husband, wife, or children. Don’t let your family go to pieces simply because you don’t have time to get involved with the people you love most in all the world.

Families that fail don’t set out to destroy each other. Their lives just get so fragmented by the careless use of time that they never have time to get to know each other and therefore can never be of any real help to one another.

Leave some time for exercise and taking care of your health. It is shameful that more hasn’t been said in pulpits about the care God wants us to take of our physical bodies.

Balance in Your Life

There is a time for work. “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work” (Exodus 20:9). Some people fail to see that a full work week is envisioned by this rule for good living. The desire to do less and less while receiving more money and leisure for it is a blight on the modern world. It is a character defect within the person who harbors such a desire.

There is a time for rest. Though we are meant to work, God did not create our bodies and minds for constant tension and uninterrupted exertion. There has to be a time of backing away for rest and renewal. At the end of the day, at the end of a work week, when some difficult project has been completed, you have to turn loose and let it go.

After you have worked hard and finished your task, don’t feel guilty for enjoying a period of rest and relaxation. Rest is as honorable as the honest and hard work that make it sweet. The two go together in God’s plan for a good life.

There is a time for worship. Christians worship God in many different settings – both private and public. But Sunday is a time for heightened sensitivity to spiritual concerns.

It is not sinful for a Christian to work on Sunday, if the work is of a vital public nature (e.g., medical services, transporation, etc.) or if he is being forced to work on that day in order to hold a job that supports his family. By the way, ministers consider Sunday as the best day of their week…but it’s the day when we work the hardest with 2-3 lessons to present.

The best response I can give to the person who asks: “Is it wrong to work on Sunday and miss worship assemblies?” is simply this: “I am more interested in knowing if you are here when you are able to be here? I think God is watching that, too.”

 

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2016 in Sermon

 

Making Today…What God Wants It To Be


Outside my window, a new day I see,
And only I can determine what kind of day it will be.
It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay,
Or boring and cold, unhappy and gray.
For my own state of mind is the determining key.
For only I am the person I let myself be.
I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help,
Or be selfish and just think of myself.
I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun,
Or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone.
I can be patient with those who may not understand,
Or belittle and hurt them as much as I can.
But I have faith in the Lord and believe when I say,
I personally intend to make the best of each day.
 
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Posted by on February 1, 2016 in Encouragement

 

Words To Live By Series #4 Be Careful of Holy Things


Sunday 1030am‘You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain” (Exodus 20:7)

 I have to begin by admitting that this is a sermon I never thought 15 years ago that I would ever need to teach in a congregation of people devoted to living lives pleasing to God.

Why? Because in moments of stress or surprise, we sometimes say things that we don’t realize would fit into this category: it is one of the rules a believer needs to observe in his life: be careful of sacred things. This general rule is expressed with particular reference to the Lord’s name in the third commandment of the Decalogue.

The first commandment dealt with the object of our worship, and the second the means of our worship, the third commandment deals with our verbal worship of God.  

Imagine a common occurrence: someone hears horrifying news and cries, “Oh, my God!” Someone else arrives on the scene of a bad accident and says, “Oh, Christ, what happened here!” Whatever else may be appropriate to say in these situations, to use some holy name as an exclamation is not appropriate.

Are you telling someone about God or Christ when you say those names? Are we speaking to them? No. Usually it’s a vain word that is used in those moments or surprise or shock or grief…but they are inappropriate. In those situations, we are using God’s name in vain. (There have been times when friends/family/members are asked if they are aware of the words they have just used, in one of these situations. They become quite angry when ‘accused’ of using God’s name in a vain way…yet in every situation, they have come back later and acknowledged they were speaking ‘in vain’ and were apologetic to the one who had pointed it out).

Anger will cause some people to use God’s name to invoke an evil curse on another person. The offended person utters a vile prayer that asks God to damn someone who is made in God’s own image and a neighbor to the one speaking.

What sort of wicked thinking has led us to think there is a point to profanity? Why do we need words that approximate the world’s gross use of God’s name as an oath in our vocabularies? The divine name is sacred, and we sin by treating it offensively or by using it to vent our frustrations and anger.

In order to determine the meaning of this commandment we must first understand the meaning of two things: first, the concept of the “name of the Lord,” and second, the meaning of the term “vain.”

Both are explained by Kaiser: “What then is involved in the ‘name’ of God? His name includes:

(1) his nature, being, and very person (Ps. 20:1; Luke 24:47; John 1:12; cf. Rev. 3:4)

(2) his teaching and doctrines (Ps. 22:22; John 17:6, 26)

(3) his ethical directions and morals (Mic. 4:5).

 

The ‘vain’ or ‘empty purposes’ to which God’s name may be put are:

(1) to confirm something that is false and untrue

(2) to fill in the gaps in our speeches or prayers

(3) to express mild surprise

(4) to use that name when no clear goal, purpose, or reason for its use is in mind, whether it be in prayer, in a religious context, or absent-mindedly invoked as table grace when no real heart, thankfulness, or purpose is involved.

Since the Exodus, God was known among the Israelites as Ha-shem, which means “The Name.” The people knew God’s name, but God is so holy that even his name is holy. The Rabbis would not speak or write down the Lord’s name., it was so special to them.

The third commandment came to be interpreted so narrowly among the Jewish people that they began to avoid pronouncing the divine name altogether. Their fear of some vain use of the covenant name evolved to the point that it was pronounced only once a year by the high priest on the Day of Atonement.

At other occasions which called for the use of the deity’s name, even when reading from the biblical text itself, they would not attempt to pronounce the holy name Yahweh but would substitute the Hebrew word Adonai (i.e., Lord) or Elohim (i.e., God).

He reveals that character in these Ten Words:

  • He is jealous. There is no room for other Gods in the relationship.
  • He holds generations accountable for the sins of those who reject his ways. That seems so harsh, but it is reminder that our poor choices and bad behavior remain among our children for a very long time.
  • He is faithful and kind to thousands of generations of the ones who are devoted to him. God saved Israel because of a promise he made to Abraham. You and I are blessed by the devotion of saints who lived long before us. God blesses us because of their faithfulness to him.

Jesus taught us what this third word to live by really means. There’s a certain danger of misuse when it involves swearing by God’s name. Jesus teaches us to simply speak the truth. If your “Yes is Yes and your No is No” all the time then you have the character of God and are not simply dropping his name to make your point.

(Matthew 5:33-37 (ESV) “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’
34  But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,
35  or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
36  And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.
37  Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

 

What’s In a Name?

We are sometimes too flippant and careless with words. Thus we hear people say, “Oh, there’s nothing in a name.” To be sure, a word does derive its meaning through convention and assignment.

You don’t want to be called by any of the following terms: idiot, traitor, liar, or thief. And you certainly wouldn’t consider naming your child Judas or Benedict Arnold.

In Scripture the significance of one’s name is even greater than in our customary usage. It is no mere assigned label. It stands for the person, reveals his character, and identifies his role. This is why a number of important figures in Scripture are given new names at crucial points in their lives.

Recall the father of the Hebrew nation as a case in point. The Lord appeared to him and said, “No longer shall your name be Abram [i.e., exalted Father], but your name shall be Abraham [i.e., father of a multitude]; for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations” (Gen. 17:5; 17:15). The man’s name was changed to signify the new role he would play in the unfolding of the work of God among men.

When the time came for the birth of Christ to the virgin Mary, the angel told Joseph the miraculous nature of her pregnancy and said, “She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus (i.e., savior], for he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).

The name was not accidental but was chosen to signify the position this child would occupy in the divine scheme of things. His name is so special, so sacred, that Peter could say, “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4: 12).

The covenant name of Israel’s God (i.e., Yahweh) proclaimed him as the one true God whose saving power and faithfulness to his people were genuine. That is why his name was not to be trifled with or treated contemptuously. There is something in that name!

The name is not a “magic word,” but it is a sacred and holy word. It was holy to Israel because it signified the special relationship he had with those people under the Mosaic covenant.

Divine names, institutions, and ordinances must be treated with respect. It is a part of living by the rules of heaven to observe this principle. There is something in a name, then, and a generation which prides itself on its irreverence should sit up and take notice of that fact.

Ecclesiastes 5:4 (ESV) When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow.

Have you any unfulfilled vows to God? Have you any to some fellow human being? Give your word cautiously, seriously, and reliably; it is a sacred matter.

This third rule to live by is not intended to discourage our use of the name of God. It is rather designed to insure that we use that name in a way consistent with its intrinsic holiness. Use the Lord’s name in your life, but use it properly and reverently.

Don’t use it to make a promise you do not intend to keep. Don’t use it to voice your shock or dismay. Don’t use it to curse another human being, a flat tire, or a smashed thumb. Don’t wear the holy name Christian if you are not going to make a serious attempt to honor the Lord in your daily life.

Do have the name of God on your lips to honor him. Acknowledge him as the giver of every good thing in your life. Let it be a natural thing to speak of him, his goodness, his will. Think and speak in terms of doing everything in your life so as to live consistently with his will for you.

Jesus said, “So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my father who is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32).

Use the Lord’s name in frequent and fervent prayer. Have it on your lips in praise, worship, and adoration. Use his name when talking to somebody who is not a believer or who is a weak brother or sister.

Yes, use the name of God constantly. Don’t take this commandment in the way the Jews took it as a prohibition against letting that holy name pass your lips; that is not the point of the command.

Conclusion

If your mouth has been foul and profane, clean it up. I know some mothers who literally wash out their children’s mouths with soap when they say bad words or use God’s name improperly.

That may be useful; it is a negative reinforcement against the child’s use of that word again. But, of course, that doesn’t really get to the root of the problem. You have to get your heart purged in order to keep your mouth clean.

Matthew 15:18 (ESV)   But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
You may need to ask the Lord’s help to get out of some vocabulary habits you have nurtured.

If you have been careless with your promises and pledges, start treating your word as your bond. It is given in the presence of God always, and your integrity is on the line whenever you speak.

We are not through with our words once they have been spoken. The Lord said we will meet them again in Judgment; we will be justified or condemned on the basis of them.

Matthew 12:36-37 (ESV)  I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

 

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2016 in Sermon

 

Words To Live By Series #3 Keep a Clear Vision of God


 

Sunday 1030amExodus 20:4 (ESV) “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. “You shall not make for yourself a graven image”

I suspect most people regard this second statement as an anticlimactic rounding off of the first. If the Ten Commandments were being ranked in order of their relevant importance, this one might be placed at the bottom of the list. It might surprise you to learn that there are more references to this commandment in the remainder of the Bible than to any other of the Decalogue. This fact alone should indicate something of its significance.

The first and second commandments are similar in that both deal with the matter of Israel’s worship. They are distinct in that the first commandment has restrictions pertaining to the object of worship (God alone), while the second has restrictions regarding the means of worship. The second commandment prohibits worship by means of “visual aids,” more commonly known as idols.

Let’s settle on a very simple working definition of an idol: an idol is a symbolic representation of a god, as determined by man, which often represents the presence and available power of the god it symbolizes.

Recall, for example, that when Moses was on Mt. Sinai receiving these commandments, the children of Israel grew restless because he had been away for so long. Perhaps they thought he had died or had been taken up to heaven. At any rate, they began pressing Aaron to make them gods (Exodus 32:1). Moses’ brother took gold from the people and melted it down to fashion a golden calf….which was probably very much of their environment in Egypt. When he unveiled it to the people, he said, “These are your gods, 0 Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” (Exodus 32:4).

Which of the first two commandments was being violated in the series of events just described? Most would probably say it was the first one about false gods. In fact, it was the second! How can we be sure? As soon as Aaron had unveiled the golden calf, the Bible says this happened: “When Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation and said, ‘Tomorrow shall be a feast to the Lord (i.e., Yahweh)”’ (Exodus 32:5).

Aaron was not trying to substitute some new god for Yahweh but was attempting to represent the covenant God of Israel in some tangible manner. With Moses gone Aaron succumbed to the pressure to try to give the people a visible rallying sign around which they could center their devotions to the Lord.

The problem exemplified to us by the golden calf is still very much with us. Carnal minds find it difficult to think of God apart from some sort of visible representation, superstitious relic or crude totem. Heaven’s real attack in this second commandment is against false mental images of God. Thus we state the second rule for holy living in these words: Keep a clear vision of God.

Don’t drag God down to your level. Don’t let yourself believe that the high, holy, and spiritual God who has created you and whose favor you seek can be represented by something made in the likeness of anything you know in this visible world of ours.

God’s original honor to human beings was to create us in his image; we dishonor him by trying to refashion him in ours.

The challenge of this rule for living is summed up by Jesus in these words: “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth”(John 4:24).

Any religion that manufactures coins or beads or images that can be put up in the house or in our cars in a violation of this command. It is representing something that is used to remind us or represent God tous.

When people are ignorant of God, they seem driven to try to represent him by an image of some sort. Paul began the book of Romans with an indictment of the pagan world of his day for refusing the knowledge of God and prostituting the knowledge they did have of him into idolatry. He wrote: Romans 1:22-23 (ESV)  Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23  and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

We humans are incurably religious. We will have a god! There has never been a culture or civilization found that was without something it called a “god.” It may have been some part of nature – maybe the sun, moon, or stars; it may have been a totem or idol carved by their own hands; it may have been some Great Spirit who was regarded as unknown and unknowable. But there has never been a culture where religious devotions were totally absent.

In his speech in the Areopagus at Athens, Paul talked about the phenomenon of humanity’s preoccupation with the issue of God. Acts 17:26-28 (ESV)  And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, 27  that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, 28  for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

Why are we incurably religious? God made us that way! He created us with a thirst for his fellowship; he made us with a spiritual yearning that is intended to serve as a “homing device” to encourage us to seek, find, and enjoy him.

Earlier in Paul’s sermon at Athens, he had said: Acts 17:22-23 (ESV) So Paul, standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. 23  For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you.

We are naturally inclined to religion. We will have a deity. If we are not very careful, however, we will make that deity in our own image and get him down to a level where he can be managed and manipulated by us.

There can be no doubt that superstition is involved directly in the matter of image-making. An icon or “sacred object” is assigned magical powers and used to ward off evil. It may be a little silver replica of the shrine of Artemis (Acts 19:24) or a golden cross someone wears or a ‘spiritual coin’ to which a magical power is attributed.

Don’t misunderstand the point here. There is nothing wrong with a fish or cross or some other supposed “Christian symbol” as a piece of jewelry. What is wrong is to attribute to it some special power or superstitious belief. In order to get clear on this point, consider the history of the ark of the covenant among the Jews.

Do you remember the brass serpent the Lord told Moses to erect among the people to save them from the fiery serpents he sent among them at one point in the wilderness? (Numbers 21:4-9). That brass snake was preserved, and it wasn’t long until it became a superstitious icon in itself. The Bible tells us that one of the things good King Hezekiah did during his reign (715-686 B.C.) was to destroy it. “He removed the high places, and broke the pillars, and cut down the Asherah. And he broke in pieces the bronze serpent that Moses had made, for until those days the people of Israel had burned incense to it; it was called Nehushtan” (2 Kings 18:4).

There are at least three good reasons that come to mind as to why image-representation of Yahweh was forbidden to the Jews. First, no likeness of God could be adequate. Therefore any would be false and misleading. Second, God cannot be localized or limited to anyone place. Third, God wanted their trust to be in him and not in some magical icon.

The penalty for violating the second commandment was severe. “You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments” (Exodus 20:5-6).

Notice that its violation would bring terrible consequences not only upon the individual doing such a thing but upon future generations. How could this be? It is not guilt that is imputed from one generation to the next, but the immorality that follow such an apostasy that linger for generations! Put plainly: our children seem to follow what we do and pass it down to their children.

We may think it ridiculous that someone would make their own God. We might laugh right along with Isaiah (Isa. 44) when he pokes fun of the foolish fellow who cuts down a tree and uses part of the wood to heat his house and roast his meat, but carves a god to worship out of the rest. Yes, that seems silly enough. But often the gods we shape, the gods that we end up making for ourselves, the gods that compete for our loyalty are things that really seem very good …

Isaiah 44 (ESV)
6  Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: “I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god.
7  Who is like me? Let him proclaim it. Let him declare and set it before me, since I appointed an ancient people. Let them declare what is to come, and what will happen.
8  Fear not, nor be afraid; have I not told you from of old and declared it? And you are my witnesses! Is there a God besides me? There is no Rock; I know not any.”
9  All who fashion idols are nothing, and the things they delight in do not profit. Their witnesses neither see nor know, that they may be put to shame.
10  Who fashions a god or casts an idol that is profitable for nothing?
11  Behold, all his companions shall be put to shame, and the craftsmen are only human. Let them all assemble, let them stand forth. They shall be terrified; they shall be put to shame together.
12  The ironsmith takes a cutting tool and works it over the coals. He fashions it with hammers and works it with his strong arm. He becomes hungry, and his strength fails; he drinks no water and is faint.
13  The carpenter stretches a line; he marks it out with a pencil. He shapes it with planes and marks it with a compass. He shapes it into the figure of a man, with the beauty of a man, to dwell in a house.
14  He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it.
15  Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it.
16  Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, “Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!”
17  And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!”
18  They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and their hearts, so that they cannot understand.
19  No one considers, nor is there knowledge or discernment to say, “Half of it I burned in the fire; I also baked bread on its coals; I roasted meat and have eaten. And shall I make the rest of it an abomination? Shall I fall down before a block of wood?”
20  He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself or say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”
21  Remember these things, O Jacob, and Israel, for you are my servant; I formed you; you are my servant; O Israel, you will not be forgotten by me.
22  I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you.
23  Sing, O heavens, for the LORD has done it; shout, O depths of the earth; break forth into singing, O mountains, O forest, and every tree in it! For the LORD has redeemed Jacob, and will be glorified in Israel.
24  Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: “I am the LORD, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself,
25  who frustrates the signs of liars and makes fools of diviners, who turns wise men back and makes their knowledge foolish,
26  who confirms the word of his servant and fulfills the counsel of his messengers, who says of Jerusalem, ‘She shall be inhabited,’ and of the cities of Judah, ‘They shall be built, and I will raise up their ruins’;
27  who says to the deep, ‘Be dry; I will dry up your rivers’;
28  who says of Cyrus, ‘He is my shepherd, and he shall fulfill all my purpose’; saying of Jerusalem, ‘She shall be built,’ and of the temple, ‘Your foundation shall be laid.’”

The good things that bring us closer to God can become the trickiest of idols. It’s very easy to equate these things with God and we can be tempted into thinking that when we manage these things we manage our relationship with God.

Some Common Misperceptions of God

Our God is void of passion and slack toward sin. You and I tend to think that sin is not so bad. Know why? We are sinners! We can’t condemn sin too soundly, or we will wind up stomping on our own toes. So we learn to blind our eyes to a lot of things we know are not right. It may be an unethical business practice or devious half-truth. Since “everybody does it,” we are inclined to tolerate such things in our own lives and in others. We seem to be able to convince ourselves that even God must feel as we do about such things.

Just look at Jesus to see how false an opinion of God that is. God is never slack with sin. Twice during his early ministry, the Son of Man made himself a whip and moved through the temple precincts to free animals, dump money, and scatter men (John 2:14-16; Matthew 21:12-13). They were turning that sacred place” of worship into a den of thieves, and he was outraged. And do you remember his denunciations of the religious leaders of his time? He called the scribes and Pharisees “hypocrites” (Matthew 23). They thought they knew how to split theological hairs and find loopholes in the commands of God. They thought they could sin and get by with it because of their mock piety. Jesus showed them how wrong they were.

Our God is a tyrant and anxious to condemn. As surely as some see God as too soft and too easy with sin, others see him as a cruel and hard-hearted deity. In the Parable of the Talents, the servant who had been entrusted with one talent came before his master on the day of reckoning and said, “Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not winnow; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours” (Matthew 25:24-25). The man had a wrong mental image of his master. He thought he was such a hard man that nobody could please him.

Look for a moment at the compassion of God that was shown through Jesus, and balance that with the rage he showed in cleansing the temple and denouncing the Pharisees and scribe. One of the thmgs that the religious leaders of his day thought so unusual about Jesus was his association with outcasts and sinners. “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes murmured, saying, ‘This man receives sinners and eats with them'” (Luke 15:1-2).

Our God is an absentee landlord who collects rent on Sundays and cares nothing about what we do during the week. Some Christians in my experience seem to have a view of God that allows them to practice religion after the following order: go to church on Sunday, drop money in the plate, shake hands, go home for a drink, cheat somebody in business on Monday, curse somebody who makes you mad, deliberately foul up a job to get even with an employer who was unfair, snap at the family, flirt with a neighbor, and so on for six days; then back to church on Sunday to appease God for another week. How dare anyone of us think that religion and daily life are separate spheres of responsibility!

No wonder the church doesn’t set the world on its ear, if this understanding of God is in the hearts of very many Christians. Christianity is a day-by-day, 24-hour-per-day responsibility. “And [Jesus] said to all, ‘If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me'” (Luke 9:23).

It is a small percentage of the totality of one’s religion that involves being in worship assemblies. Yet some want to make those assemblies the entirety of their religion.

Our God is responsible for all mankind’s misfortunes and tragedies. It frightens me to know how many people hold God responsible for all the bad things of human experience. Children are born blind, people have cancer, or a loved one dies; someone will say, “It is the will of God!” Most of what happens in this world is not the will of God, and it is high time we put a stop to the thoughtless things we are accustomed to saying which attribute them to him!

The will of God for his creatures calls for our happiness on earth and eternal fellowship with him in heaven after this life. He gives good gifts to his people, and he does not blight lives and inflict pointless pain. While there are many things we do not understand about pain and suffering in human experience, we do know enough to avoid the mistake of assigning it all to the will of God.

Conclusion

This rule for living is a prohibition of low, inadequate, and unworthy imaginations of God. He wants his people to have a clear and spiritual vision of him. Only then can we know him, love him, and worship him willingly.

If you will think for a moment about how sensitive we are about having bad photos or likenesses of ourselves circulated, perhaps you will begin to understand why a holy God would be angered by some of the false physical and mental images mankind has circulated of him.

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2016 in Sermon

 

Are we living in the last days?


signsEric/Wendy’s December 2015 report from mission work in Rwanda

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Yes, we are living in the ‘last days.’ It should not be a cause for alarm, however, because we have been living in the last days for more than two thousand years!

The ‘last days’ refer to the last great period of history, the Christian Age. There have been three great dispensations or ages of God dealing with mankind. The first was the Patriarchal Age, when God dealt directly with the heads of families (from Adam to Moses). This period ended with the beginning of the Mosaic Age, when God gave the Law of Moses to Israel. The Mosaic Age (the age under which Jesus lived) ended with the advent of the Christian Age, ushered in by the preaching of the Gospel and the establishment of the first century church.

On the Pentecost following the resurrection of Christ, Peter rose up with the rest of the apostles to speak and said, concerning the things that were happening, ‘This is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel; and it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams’ (Acts 2:16-17). Peter said that the events of that day were the fulfillment of Joel’s prophecy concerning what would happen ‘in these last days.’

Succeeding verses describe dramatic events: ‘…wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood and fire and vapour of smoke: the sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before that great and notable day of the Lord come’ (2:19-20). This ‘apocalyptic’ language describes cataclysmic events that man could hardly imagine. Some have suggested that these events refer to the crucifixion of Christ or the coming destruction of Jerusalem by the Roman armies.

The Spirit was poured out on ‘all flesh,’ as the Gospel message was to go from Jerusalem to all the nations of the world, a message of salvation: ‘And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved’ (Acts 2:21). To the Jews it was almost unbelievable that the Gospel could be for the whole world, including Gentiles, but Peter promised such: ‘For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call’ (2:39). He called all present to respond: ‘Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for (in order to have) the remission of sins’ (2:38).

Later Peter wrote that Christ ‘was manifest in these last times’ (1 Peter 1:20).

Time may be drawing to an end.  Today may be the last day. Or, the Lord may delay His coming for a thousand years so more can ‘come to repentance’ (1 Pet. 3:9).

Look for no special ‘last days’ signs in present events. Do not listen to false teachers who set dates for the second coming or the end of the world. Do not be lulled into thinking you have plenty of time to make your life right with God, either. We should prepare to meet Christ-the angel may be getting his trumpet ready (1 Thes. 4:13-18). Now is the time to obey Christ (2 Cor. 6:2).

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Posted by on January 14, 2016 in Doctrine