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Household/children ‘management’ tips…


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I have finally taken the time to offer some household/children ‘management’ tips that we used when our children were younger….proved effective as we all grew together in these areas.

helpful-tips-image-web-design-sydney1. “First Call.” We used the words ‘first call’ when it was 5-10 minutes before time to sit down for a meal. It means all those who were in the house planning to eat were to get their hands washed and be close to the kitchen so when it was time to sit down for the “second call” we were there ready to sit down and eat.

2. “Coming.” We have lived in a few places where we were comfortable allowing the children to play ‘in the woods’ or ‘down the street’ away from the house. We wish we had owned a loud bell or whistle, but our voices worked most of the time. Our instructions: when we called one of the children’s names, their only response that was needed or acceptable: “coming.” Not ‘what?’ Not ‘what do you want?’ Nothing but: “coming.” And, of course, they would then immediately begin coming home.

3. “Dust busters.” On a regular basis, we had a collective effort to “gain control” of our family rooms but setting a 10-minute alarm and every person in the house would work as hard and efficiently as possible to vacuum, straighten, dust, etc., the main rooms in the house. It is simply amazing the work that 5 people could accomplish in what was actually 50 minutes, as I look back at it.

Incidentally, we also expected our children to work in their rooms at least once a week to “let us see the floor.” How it looked during jesusinthehomethe week mattered less to us (respecting their teen years and privacy) but we did need to have the rooms cleaner, etc. They were also pretty wise to realize that it helped that they kept their doors closed most of the days in between those cleaning opportunities.

4. “Cutting the cake.” Sometimes the children would be ultra-competitive, and it would show itself in the kitchen occasionally…even to the point of who got the biggest piece of cake.’ We decided a good way to defuse the situation was to have a different one cut the cake into pieces, and then the different ones would get to choose theirs first…the cutter the last piece that time. Of course, the one doing the cutting would be very-y-y-y careful to cut them the same size so he would get a ‘fair amount.’

* TJ and I would both greatly appreciate any comments offered that would add to this list…for the good of other parents out there.

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2015 in Family

 

The Anatomy of a Backslider


Learning From One Who Knows By Experience

In 2 Peter 2:20-22 we read of the real possibility and serious consequences of backsliding:
“If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. {21} It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. {22} Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.””

backsliderIt is interesting that we find this passage coming from the inspired pen of Peter…for if anyone knew “firsthand” the reality and dangers of backsliding, it was Peter! He discovered these truths the night he denied Jesus!

The process of backsliding is a gradual one, often overtaking a person by surprise; and lest we fall from our own steadfastness…we shall carefully examine the process that led to Peter’s denial of Christ.
Notice how Peter’s own words in his epistles are designed to prevent the same from happening to us!

THE ANATOMY OF A BACKSLIDER
A. PRIDE – Mark 14:27-31: “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ {28} But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into
Galilee.” {29} Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.” {30} “I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “today–yes, tonight–before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” {31} But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.”

1. In a boastful manner, Peter claims he will not fall away or deny Christ!
2. In doing so, Peter takes the first step in backsliding: “pride”! – cf. Prov. 16:18
3. Why is this the “first” step? Because the first step in entering the kingdom is humility – Mt 18:3-4. So if we lose “humility”, we take that first step backward
4. Paul’s advice to the Corinthians is very apropos in this regard – cf. _1 Co 10:11

B. LAZINESS – Mark 14:32-42: “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” {33} He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. {34} “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” {35} Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. {36} “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for
you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” {37} Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? {38} Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” {39} Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. {40} When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him. {41}
Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. {42} Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!””

1. Told to keep watch, Peter kept falling asleep
2. It was therefore lack of diligent preparation which caused him to be caught off guard for what was to follow
3. The same thing can happen to us! Without diligence, we too can be found unprepared – Luke 21:34-36. More often than not, it is a “gradual drifting” that catches us off guard – Heb. 2:1-3. But when we are proud of ourselves, we become lazy, and that easily leads to the next step…

C. COWARDICE – Mark 14:54: “Peter followed him at a distance, right into
the courtyard of the high priest. There he sat with the guards and warmed
himself at the fire.”

1. Note that it says “…Peter followed Him at a distance”
2. Now that Jesus had become unpopular…
a. Peter stays far enough away so as not to be identified with
Him
b. Peter was unprepared for the challenge of facing ridicule and
persecution
3. Without diligent preparation, we too can become guilty of
cowardice!
a. Ashamed to be seen carrying a Bible
b. Ashamed to be seen giving thanks
c. Ashamed to be seen with other Christians
d. Perhaps even ashamed to let others know that we are
Christians!
4. And yet, Jesus has made it clear what He thinks of “cowardice”
Mark 8:38; Rev. 21:8
5. When we are ashamed of Christ, it is natural for to fall into
the next step of backsliding…

D. WORLDLINESS – Mark 14:54: “Peter followed him at a distance, right
into the courtyard of the high priest. There he sat with the guards and
warmed himself at the fire.”

1. We now find Peter sitting with the servants of the High Priest
and warming himself by the fire
2. Ashamed to be seen with Christ, it becomes easy to mingle with
those of the world and enjoy their comforts
3. But one cannot be “comforted by the fire” of the world, and not
be “burned”!
a. Close contact with that which can harm has its effects! –
Prov. 6:27-29
b. So it is we cannot “flirt with the world” and walk away
untouched! – 1 Cor. 15:33
4. By the time we become “friends with the world”, it is only a
short time before we take the next and final step of backsliding…

E. DENIAL – Mark 14:66-71: “While Peter was below in the courtyard, one
of the servant girls of the high priest came by. {67} When she saw Peter
warming himself, she looked closely at him. “You also were with that
Nazarene, Jesus,” she said. {68} But he denied it. “I don’t know or
understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the
entryway. {69} When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to
those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” {70} Again he denied
it. After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you
are one of them, for you are a Galilean.” {71} He began to call down
curses on himself, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re
talking about.””

1. Away from Christ, at comfort with those in the world, Peter
finds himself denying His Lord and Savior!
2. In so doing, he has put himself in grave danger – Matt. 10:32-33
3. Though we may never actually deny Jesus in “words”, we can
easily backslide to the point of denying Him in “action”…
a. We are called to worship Him…but make excuses why we cannot
b. We are called to serve Him…but render little or no service
c. We are called to stand by His side and suffer for His
name…but stand afar off in the safety of the world’s comfort

[When we deny the Lord, our backsliding is complete; unless we repent,
the only thing left is to one day face the Lord, where we will fully
realize the error of our ways!

For Peter, he fully realized his sin when the Lord turned and looked at
him there in the courtyard:
Luke 22:60-62: “Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking
about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. {61} The Lord turned
and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had
spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three
times.” {62} And he went outside and wept bitterly.”

Imagine the feeling in Peter’s heart as those eyes of His Savior pierced
his soul! Like
Judas, Peter wept bitterly over his sin.

Unlike Judas, Peter had “godly sorrow” that results in true repentance (2
Cor. 7:10-11). And years later, we find Peter writing the sort of things
that would prevent us from making the same mistake he did…]

ADVICE FROM ONE WHO LEARNED THE HARD WAY
A. TO GUARD AGAINST “PRIDE”…
1. Peter enjoins “humility” – 1 Peter 5:5-6
2. Indeed, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble”

B. TO WARD AGAINST “LAZINESS”…
1. Peter commands “diligence” – 1 Peter 5:8-9
2. Note especially his words in his second epistle – 2 Peter
1:5,10; 3:14

C. INSTEAD OF “COWARDICE”…
1. Peter charges us to “glorify God” – 1 Peter 4:16
2. Think not of what it means to you, but what it means to God!

D. INSTEAD OF “WORLDLINESS”…
1. Peter tells us to “abstain” – 1 Peter 2:11-12
2. Remember that we are “sojourners and pilgrims”, destined for a
better place than the things of this world have to offer!

E. INSTEAD OF “DENIAL”…
1. Peter exhorts us to ever be ready to “give a defense” – 1 Peter
3:15
2. By careful preparation, we will “defend” Christ, and not “deny”
Christ!

1240991527CONCLUSION
1. From one who learned by the hard road of experience, let’s heed his
advice lest we one day backslide ourselves, and in so doing deny the
Lord! – 2 Peter 3:17-18

2. Remember too that when Peter saw the eyes of his Lord, he realized the
error of his way…
a. Fortunately for him, there was still time to repent
b. But for us, when we see Jesus “face to face”, the time to repent
will be gone…it will be the time for judgment!

3. If we realize that we are guilty of backsliding…
a. Repent now, do not wait until you stand before Jesus
b. Do it now, so that your “face to face” encounter with Jesus will be
terrific, not terrifying!

 
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Posted by on July 20, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Allegiance to Christ (presented at Youth Camp 2015)


* presented to our 125-plus campers and adults at Youth Camp, 2015

One day a young man was writing a letter to his girl friend who lived just a few miles away in a nearby town. Among other things, he was telling her how much he loved her and how wonderful he thought she was.

The more he wrote, the more poetic he became. Finally, he said that in order to be with her he would suffer the greatest difficulties, he would face the greatest dangers that anyone could imagine. In fact, to spend only one minute with her, he would climb the highest mountain in the world. He would swim across the widest river. He would enter the deepest forest and with his bare hands fight against the fiercest animals.

thHe finished the letter, signed his name, and then suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to mention something quite important. So he added: P.S. I will be over to see you Wednesday night as long as it doesn’t rain.

Well, I am not so sure that this man was as dedicated to the relationship as he thought he was.

Allegiance (dictionary.com); 1. the Allegiance of a citizen to his or her government or of a subject to his or her sovereign. 2. Allegiance or devotion to some person, group, cause, or the like.

Many adults in our congregations do not provide the proper influence: Every congregation has a problem with allegiance. Fifteen percent of the membership give 85 percent of the contributions; 15 percent of the membership do 85 percent of the work. We need to do better, don’t we? Many are choosing too often sporting events, entertainment activities, or family events ahead of church meetings that are weekly a part of our congregational schedules.

Just curious, as we begin: will you be part of this effort to make a change?

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man?” (Prov. 20:6).

Millions of people will profess allegiance to Christ. But who is truly loyal to him? The proverb says that most who claim to be good and loyal are not. Are you truly loyal to Christ? Am I?

Even the apostle Peter wavered in his loyalty to the Lord after His arrest. Peter beforehand told the Lord, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You” (Matt. 26:35). Yet we read further on in the chapter and see that Peter denied the Lord three times (Mt. 26:69-75). It is far easier to claim allegiance to Christ than to actually show it in the face of trials and conflicts.

Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other” (Mt. 6:24). We cannot be loyal to Christ and loyal to another master.

Luke 5:1-11 (NIV)
1  One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God,
2  he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets.
3  He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
4  When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
5  Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
6  When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.
7  So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8  When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”
9  For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken,
10  and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.”
11  So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

The Gospels are filled with a variety of responses to Jesus. Some people were curious about Him; others were impressed by His teachings; still others were astonished by His deeds.

Some people came to see or receive a miracle. Others came to hear His wisdom in hopes that they would live wiser as a result.

But all of these responses fell short of Jesus’ radical request to follow Him. That’s what a Christian is: A “Christ-follower.” We forsake our allegiance to this world, we follow Jesus, and we win others to Him. According to the Gospel of Luke, that’s what the first disciples did when they encountered Jesus: “They left everything and followed Him.”

Reading Mark 8:34-37 in Eugene Peterson’s The Message (published by NavPress), offers some additional color: Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

You just read the price tag of discipleship. How much does it cost? Everything.

Matthew 20:20-28 (ESV)
20  Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something.
21  And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.”
22  Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.”
23  He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
24  And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers.
25  But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.
26  It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,
27  and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,
28  even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

I present these verses different than most. Yes, they did not understand the nature of the kingdom, and yes, it was not their’s to ask for…BUT this mother wanted her sons to work for the Lord of Lord and King of Kings…and Jesus acknowledged that they would “drink my cup,” which is not small thing!

Acts is a book of change. It records a time of decision-making, a time to “obey now” or to reject the call of Jesus. It reveals the apostles’ continual quests for answers and their urgent pleas for men and women to respond to the drawing power of the grace of God.

The reader is struck with the truth that the story of Jesus called for drastic and immediate changes. This book tenders no middle ground—no safe haven for the one who delays a decision, no comfort for the doubter, no sympathy for the one who wants to try some middle-of-the-road solution.

Each story tells of either firm commitment or rejection, sometimes even angry rejection that turned into persecution for the preacher. This is reminiscent of Jesus’ strong statement “He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters” (Matthew 12:30).

Acts is a book about courage and commitment, not compromise and convenience! It is a book of crusading for Christ; it is a stirring account of commitment to a cause. Though costly, sometimes even to the giving of one’s life, faithful following of Jesus is demonstrated fully in this book.

No sacrifice was too great for the disciples when they considered the sacrifices already made by the Father and His Son. Each case of conversion in Acts was a costly commitment. Jesus had said that commitment to Him would first take self-denial (Matthew 16:24).

Jesus accepts no less than our best. Half-and-half Christianity is insufficient.  Friendship with the world is “hostility toward God” (James 4:4). The only way to follow Jesus is to do so wholeheartedly, 100 percent, being absolutely and totally given to His service. The great and first commandment is still to love God with one’s whole heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37, 38).

Matthew 10:16-39 (NIV)
16  I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
17  “Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues.
18  On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles.
19  But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say,
20  for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
21  “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.
22  All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
23  When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. I tell you the truth, you will not finish going through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24  “A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master.
25  It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!
26  “So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.
27  What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
28  Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
29  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.
30  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
32  “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. 33  But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.
34  “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35  For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law–
36  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
37  “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38  and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

What Happened to the Apostles?

We talk today about the ‘doubt’ of John the Baptist and Thomas. Lest we speak too harshly, it would be good for us to realize their life was everything we’d want ours to be: faithful to the end! The apostles were promised they would be persecuted, and some would have to drink the cup of death (Matthew 10:25; 20:23; Mark 14:31, 36; John 13:37; 15:20, 17:1); history and tradition also tell us that the apostles gave their lives for Christ:

  • James the son of Zebedee (James the Great) felt Herod’s sword in 44 A.D., the first apostle to die (Acts 12).
  • Philip, after preaching in upper Asia, was scourged, thrown in prison, and then crucified in 54 A.D. at Heliopolis in Phrygia.
  • Matthew, after preaching in Parthia and in Ethiopia, was slain in A.D. 60 by a halberd at Nadabah, Ethiopia.
  • James the Less, at 94 years, after being beaten and stoned by the Jews, “finally had his brains dashed out with a fuller’s club.”
  • As to Peter, “Jerome saith that he was crucified, his head being down and his feet upward, himself so requiring, because he was [he said] unworthy to be crucified after the same form and manner as the Lord was.”
  • Jude (Thaddeus), brother of James the Less, was crucified at Edessa, 72 A.D.
  • Bartholomew, after preaching in India, was “cruelly beaten and then crucified by the impatient idolaters.”
  • Thomas’ ministry in Parthia and India was ended with a spear thrust.
  • Simon Zelotes evangelized in Mauritania, Africa, and Britain before his crucifixion in 74 A.D.
  • Matthias was stoned at Jerusalem and then beheaded.
  • Andrew’s service was in Asia; at Edessa he was baptized in suffering, being “crucified on a cross, the two ends of which were fixed transversely in the ground.”
  • The beloved John, at the command of anti-christ Domitian, was exiled “in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9). After being recalled from Patmos by Domitian’s successor, Nerva, John died peacefully (cf. John 21 :22-23).
  • After Paul had been stoned, left for dead, beaten with rods, jailed for years, he still aspired to “fill up . . . that which is lacking of the afflictions of Christ” in his flesh (Colossians 1 :24). He is said to have been beheaded by Nero in Rome. (by Hugo McCord, The Beatitudes)

Romans 8:18 (ESV)
18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)
38  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The young man said nothing else as he stood before the Roman governor, his life hanging in the balance. His accusers pressed him again, hoping to trip him up or force him to recant. But once more he answered with the same short phrase. “I am a Christian.”

It was the middle of the second century, during the reign of emperor Marcus Aurelius.1 Christianity was illegal, and believers throughout the Roman Empire faced the threat of imprisonment, torture, or death. Persecution was especially intense in southern Europe, where Sanctus, a deacon from Vienna, had been arrested and brought to trial. The young man was repeatedly told to renounce the faith he professed. But his resolve was undeterred. “I am a Christian.”

No matter what question he was asked, he always gave the same unchanging answer. According to the ancient church historian Eusebius, Sanctus “girded himself against [his accusers] with such firmness that he would not even tell his name, or the nation or city to which he belonged, or whether he was bond or free, but answered in the Roman tongue to all their questions, ‘I am a Christian.’ ”

…When at last it became obvious that he would say nothing else, he was condemned to severe torture and a public death in the amphitheater. On the day of his execution, he was forced to run the gauntlet, subjected to wild beasts, and fastened to a chair of burning iron. Throughout all of it, his accusers kept trying to break him, convinced that his resistance would crack under the pain of torment. But as Eusebius recounted, “Even thus they did not hear a word from Sanctus except the confession which he had uttered from the beginning.”3 His dying words told of an undying commitment. His rallying cry remained constant throughout his entire trial. “I am a Christian.”

For Sanctus, his whole identity—including his name, citizenship, and social status—was found in Jesus Christ. Hence, no better answer could have been given to the questions he was asked. He was a Christian, and that designation defined everything about him.

This same perspective was shared by countless others in the early church. It fueled their witness, strengthened their resolve, and confounded their opponents. When arrested, these courageous believers would confidently respond as Sanctus had, with a succinct assertion of their loyalty to Christ. MacArthur, John. “Slave.” Thomas Nelson, 2010-12-28

—————————

Allegiance is a great thought! The most precious commodity is Allegiance. It thrills us. A beautiful story comes out of World War II. It was in the heat of battle; it was terrible. Anybody out on the battlefield was going to die. The word came that a certain boy had been shot and was dying. This boy had a friend back behind the lines whom he had saved at one time. He came and said, Sir, I am going out because my friend is shot and will die. The commanding officer said, You are crazy. You are nuts.

The boy said, I have to go. He said, I will not stand in your way. If you feel you need to go out, then go. He left and the battle raged on and many were shot and killed. But, finally, the boy came back. The commanding officer said, You are stupid. You could have died. That boy was shot and he was going to die. Why jeopardize your life? But the friend had an answer. He said, Sir, I went out and it was bad. I came upon my friend in his dying moments. He looked up at me and said, I knew that you would come.

In that one statement is all that life is worth. I knew that you would come. That is Allegiance. When a man looks at you and makes that statement, it is the greatest tribute he can pay you.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS

The First Persecution, Under Nero, AD 67

The first persecution of the Church took place in the year 67, under Nero, the sixth emperor of Rome. This monarch reigned for the space of five years, with tolerable credit to himself, but then gave way to the greatest extravagancy of temper, and to the most atrocious barbarities.

Among other diabolical whims, he ordered that the city of Rome should be set on fire, which order was executed by his officers, guards, and servants. While the imperial city was in flames, he went up to the tower of Macaenas, played upon his harp, sung the song of the burning of Troy, and openly declared that ‘he wished the ruin of all things before his death.’ Besides the noble pile, called the Circus, many other palaces and houses were consumed; several thousands perished in the flames, were smothered in the smoke, or buried beneath the ruins.

This dreadful conflagration continued nine days. When Nero, finding that his conduct was greatly blamed, and a severe odium cast upon him, determined to lay the whole upon the Christians, at once to excuse himself and have an opportunity of glutting his sight with new cruelties.

This was the occasion of the first persecution; and the barbarities exercised on the Christians were such as even excited the commiseration of the Romans themselves. Nero even refined upon cruelty, and contrived all manner of punishments for the Christians that the most infernal imagination could design.

In particular he had some sewed up in skins of wild beasts, and then worried by dogs until they expired; and others dressed in shirts made stiff with wax, fixed to axletrees, and set on fire in his gardens, in order to illuminate them. This persecution was general throughout the whole Roman Empire, but it rather increased than diminished the spirit of Christianity. In the course of it, St. Paul and St. Peter were martyred.

The Second Persecution, Under Domitian, AD 81

The emperor Domitian, who was naturally inclined to cruelty, first slew his brother, and then raised the second persecution against the Christians. In his rage he put to death some of the Roman senators some through malice, and others to confiscate their estates. He then commanded all the lineage of David to be put to death.

A law was made, “That no Christian, once brought before the tribunal, should be exempted from punishment: without renouncing his religion.” A variety of fabricated tales were, during this reign, composed in order to injure the Christians. Such was the infatuation of the pagans, that, if famine, pestilence, or earthquakes afflicted any of the Roman provinces, it was laid upon the Christians.

Another hardship was, that, when any Christians were brought before the magistrates, a test oath was proposed, when, if they refused to take it, death was pronounced against them; and if they confessed themselves Christians, the sentence was the same.

The Third Persecution, Under Trajan, AD 108

In the third persecution Pliny the Second, a man learned and famous, seeing the lamentable slaughter of Christians, and moved therewith to pity, wrote to Trajan, certifying him that there were many thousands of them daily put to death, of which none did anything contrary to the Roman laws worthy persecution.

“The whole account they gave of their crime or error (whichever it is to be called) amounted only to this –viz.. that they were accustomed on a stated day to meet before daylight, and to repeat together a form of prayer to Christ as a God, and to bind themselves by an obligation — not indeed to commit wickedness; but, on the contrary — never to commit theft, robbery, or adultery, never to falsify their word, never to defraud any man: after which it was their custom to separate, and reassemble to partake in common of a harmless meal.”

The Fourth Persecution, Under Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, AD 162

Polycarp, hearing that persons were seeking for him, escaped, but was discovered by a child. After feasting the guards who apprehended him, he desired an hour in prayer, which being allowed, he prayed with such fervency, that his guards repented that they had been instrumental in taking him. He was, however, carried before the proconsul, condemned, and burnt in the market place.

The proconsul then urged him, saying, “Swear, and I will release thee; — reproach Christ.”

Polycarp answered, “Eighty and six years have I served him, and he never once wronged me; how then shall I blaspheme my King, Who hath saved me?”

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Enhancing communication in Marriage


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In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It’s not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.

Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.

Communication SkillsYou may find that it’s difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.

Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.

Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non­verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:

* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;

* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;

* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;

* Not stopping what you’re doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;

* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;

* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;

* Tuning your spouse out because you’ve heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it’s the same old speech;

* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;

* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.

* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.

the-four-communication-skillsIt has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.

If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give.” While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2015 in Marriage

 

Abundant Life Issue #2: The problem of worry and anxiety Matthew 6:25-34


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Worry has become an obsession in our modern world. A look at the self-help section in any bookstore will reveal its prevalence. Hospitals and waiting rooms are filled with people who have physical problems caused by overwhelming anxiety. In addition, there are many people whose lives are disrupted or made unenjoyable because of paralyzing fear.

th (1)
Christians like to hide their worry by labeling it Christian concern. In spite of protestations to the contrary, Christians do worry. But, do they have to? Not if they learn from Jesus how to win over worry.

Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount is intensely practical. He deals with this practical problem of anxiety. If he taught about it, that means he cares about it.

We must begin our study of this passage by making sure that we understand what Jesus is forbidding and what he is demanding. The Authorized Version translates Jesus’ commandment: Take no thought for the morrow. Strange to say, the Authorized Version was the first translation to translate it in that way. Wyclif had it: “Be not busy to your life.” Tyndale, Cranmer and the Geneva Version all had: “Be not careful for your life.” They used the word careful in the literal sense of full of care. The older versions were in fact more accurate. It is not ordinary, prudent foresight, such as becomes a man, that Jesus forbids; it is worry. Jesus is not advocating a shiftless, thriftless, reckless, thoughtless, improvident attitude to life; he is forbidding a care-worn, worried fear, which takes all the joy out of life.

The word which is used is the word merimnan, which means to worry anxiously. Its corresponding noun is merimnan, which means worry. In a papyrus letter a wife writes to her absent husband: “I cannot sleep at night or by day, because of the worry (merimna) I have about your welfare.” A mother, on hearing of her son’s good health and prosperity writes back: “That is all my prayer and all my anxiety (merimna).” Anacreon, the poet, writes: “When I drink wine, my worries (merimna) go to sleep.” In Greek the word is the characteristic word for anxiety, and worry, and care.

The Jews themselves were very familiar with this attitude to life. It was the teaching of the great Rabbis that a man ought to meet life with a combination of prudence and serenity. They insisted, for instance, that every man must teach his son a trade, for, they said, not to teach him a trade was to teach him to steal. That is to say, they believed in taking all the necessary steps for the prudent handling of life. But at the same time, they said, “He who has a loaf in his basket, and who says, ‘What will I eat tomorrow?’ is a man of little faith.”

Jesus is here teaching a lesson which his countrymen well knew—the lesson of prudence and forethought and serenity and trust combined.

Covetousness will not only cheapen our riches, but it will also cheapen us! We will start to become worried and anxious, and this anxiety is unnatural and unspiritual. The person who pursues money thinks that riches will solve his problems, when in reality, riches will create more problems! Material wealth gives a dangerous, false sense of security, and that feeling ends in tragedy. The birds and lilies do not fret and worry; yet they have God’s wealth in ways that man cannot duplicate. All of nature depends on God, and God never fails. Only mortal man depends on money, and money always fails.

second thoughtsJesus said that worry is sinful. We may dignify worry by calling it by some other name—concern, burden, a cross to bear—but the results are still the same. Instead of helping us live longer, anxiety only makes life shorter (Matt. 6:27). The Greek word translated take no thought literally means “to be drawn in different directions.” Worry pulls us apart. Until man interferes, everything in nature works together, because all of nature trusts God. Man, however, is pulled apart because he tries to live his own life by depending on material wealth.

God feeds the birds and clothes the lilies. He will feed and clothe us. It is our “little faith” that hinders Him from working as He would. He has great blessings for us if only we will yield to Him and live for the riches that last forever.

  1. There is plenty to worry about (v. 25).
  2. There is no shortage of potential items to worry about. Jesus mentions several matters of common concern.
  3. Life
  4. Health
  5. Possessions
  1. We could add our own list of concerns.
  2. Accidents
  3. Aging
  4. Weather
  5. Criticism

In these ten verses Jesus sets out seven different arguments and defenses against worry.

(i) He begins by pointing out (verse 25) that God gave us life, and if, he gave us life, surely we can trust him for the lesser things. If God gave us life, surely we can trust him to give us food to sustain that life. If God gave us bodies, surely we can trust him for raiment to clothe these bodies. If anyone gives us a gift which is beyond price, surely we can be certain that such a giver will not be mean, and stingy, and niggardly , and careless, and forgetful about much less costly gifts. So, then, the first argument is that, if God gave us life, we can trust him for the things which are necessary to support life.

(ii) Jesus goes on to speak about the birds (verse 26). There is no worry in their lives, no attempt to pile up goods for an unforeseen and unforeseeable future; and yet their lives go on. More than one Jewish Rabbi was fascinated by the way in which the animals life. “In my lie,” said Rabbi Simeon, ” I have never seen a stag as a dryer of figs, or a lion as a porter, or a fox as a merchant, yet they are all nourished without worry. If they, who are created to serve me, are nourished without worry, how much more ought I , who am created to serve my Maker, to be nourished without worry; but I have corrupted my ways, and so I have impaired my substance.” The point that Jesus is making is not that the birds do not work; it has been said that no one works harder than the average sparrow to make a living; the point that he is making is that they do not worry. There is not to be found in them man’s straining to see a future which he cannot see, and man’s seeking to find security in things stored up and accumulated against the future.

(iii) In verse 27, Jesus goes on to prove that worry is in any event is useless. The verse can bear two meanings. It can mean that no man by worrying can add a cubit to his height; but a cubit is eighteen inches, and no man surely would ever contemplate adding eighteen inches to his height! It can mean that no man by worrying can add the shortest space to his life; and that meaning is more likely. It is Jesus’ argument that worry is pointless anyway.

(iv) Jesus goes on to speak about the flowers (verses 28-30), and he speaks about them as one who loved them. The lilies of the field were the scarlet poppies and anemones. They bloomed one day on the hillsides of Palestine; and yet in their brief life they were clothed with a beauty which surpassed the beauty of the robes of kings. When they died they were used for nothing better than for burning. The point is this. The Palestinian over was made of clay. It was like a clay box set on bricks over the fire. When it was desired to raise the temperature of it especially quickly, some handfuls of dried grasses and wild flowers were flung inside the oven and set alight. The flowers had but one day of life; and then they were set alight to help a woman to heat an oven when she was baking in a hurry; and yet God clothes them with a beauty which is beyond man’s power to imitate. If God gives such beauty to a short-lived flower, how much more will he care for man? Surely the generosity which is so lavish to the flower of a day will not be forgetful of man, the crown of creation.

(v) Jesus goes on to advance a very fundamental argument against worry. Worry, he says, is characteristic of a heathen, and not of one who knows what God is like (verse 32). Worry is essentially distrust of God. Such a distrust may be understandable in a heathen who believes in a jealous, capricious, unpredictable god; but it is beyond comprehension in one who has learned to call god by the name of Father. The Christian cannot worry because he believes in the love of God.

(vi) Jesus goes on to advance two ways in which to defeat worry. The first is to seek first, to concentrate upon, the Kingdom of God. We have seen that to be in the Kingdom and to do the will of God is one and the same thing (Matthew 6:10). To concentrate on the doing of, and the acceptance of, God’s will is the way to defeat worry. We know how in our own lives a great love can drive out every other concern. Such love can inspire a man’s work, intensify his study, purify his life, dominate his whole being. It was Jesus’ conviction that worry is banished when God becomes the dominating power of our lives.

(vii) Lastly, Jesus says that worry can be defeated when we acquire the art of living one day at a time (verse 34). The Jews had a saying: “do not worry over tomorrow’s evils, for you know not what today will bring forth. Perhaps tomorrow you will not be alive, and you will have worried for a world which will not be yours.” If each day is lived as it comes, if each task is done as it appears, then the sum of all the days is bound to be good. It is Jesus’ advice that we should handle the demands of each day as it comes, without worrying about the unknown future and the things which may never happen.

The area of need explored by these words is not incidental but basic. It is a question of food, clothing, and shelter. Jesus’ argument is that God who made man and gave him life will also provide him with the means to sustain it, reinforcing his argument by the fact that God does this very thing for the lower creation.

Surely, God could not be charged with watching out for sparrows and neglecting his children! The mystery of how God cares for the myriads of his creatures both great and small is an unfailing marvel. Anyone familiar with wild life is aware of the remarkable continuation of every species from age to age. That God does indeed do this is a certainty. The weight of our Lord’s argument here is overwhelming when it is recalled that of all God’s creatures, from insects to the great animals of the forest, man alone is constantly anxious about his survival on the planet. What a glimpse this gives of the ruin and wretchedness that have resulted from man’s sin and rebellion against his Maker. Anxiety, that sure corollary of sin committed, has invaded man’s every thought, destroyed his serenity, and sent him scurrying in all directions; and, most significantly, anxiety only makes things worse!

  1. There is nothing accomplished by worry (vv. 26-33).

Let us now see if we can gather up Jesus’ arguments against worry.

(i) Worry is needless, useless and even actively injurious. Worry cannot affect the past, for the past is past. Omar Khayyam was grimly right:

“The moving finger writes, and, having writ,

Moves on; nor all thy piety nor wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,

Nor all they tears wash out a word of it.”

The past is past. It is not that a man can or ought to dissociate himself from his past; but he ought to use his past as a spur and a guide for better action in the future, and not as something about which he broods until he has worried himself into a paralysis of action.

Equally, worry about the future is useless. Alistair MacLean in one of his sermons tells of a story which he had read. A London doctor was the hero. “he was paralyzed and bed-ridden, but almost outrageously cheerful, and his smile so brave and radiant that everyone forgot to be sorry for him. His children adored him, and when one of his boys was leaving the nest and starting forth upon life’s adventure, Dr. Greatheart gave him good advice: ‘Johnny,’ he said, ‘the thing to do, my lad, is to hold your own end up, and to do it like a gentleman, and please remember the biggest troubles you have got to face are those that never come.’” Worry about the future is wasted effort, and the future of reality is seldom as bad as the future of our fears.

th (2)But worry is worse than useless; it is often actively injurious. The two typical diseases of modern life are the stomach ulcer and the coronary thrombosis, and in many cases both are the result of worry. It is a medical fact that he who laughs most lives longest. The worry which wears out the mind wears out the body along with it. Worry affects a man’s judgment, lessens his powers of decision, and renders him progressively incapable of dealing with life. Let a man give his best to every situation—he cannot give more—and let him leave the rest to God.

(ii) Worry is blind. Worry refuses to learn the lesson of nature. Jesus bids men look at the birds, and see the bounty which is behind nature, and trust the love that lies behind that bounty. Worry refuses to learn the lesson of history. There was a Psalmist who cheered himself with the memory of history: “O my God,” he cries, “my soul is cast down within me.” And then he goes on: “Therefore I remember Thee, from the land of Jordan, and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar” (Psalm 42:6; cp. Deuteronomy 3:9). When he was up against it, he comforted himself with the memory of what God had done. The man who feeds his heart on the record of what God has done in the past will never worry about the future. Worry refuses to learn the lesson of life. We are still alive and our heads are still above water; and yet if someone had told us that we would have to go through what we have actually gone through, we would have said that it was impossible The lesson of life is that somehow we have been enabled to bear the unbearable and to do the undoable and to pass the breaking-point and not to break. The lesson of life is that worry is unnecessary.

(iii) Worry is essentially irreligious. Worry is not caused by external circumstances. In the same circumstances one man can be absolutely serene, and another man can be worried to death. Both worry and serenity come, not from circumstances, but from the heart. Alistair MacLean quotes a story from Tauler, the German mystic. One day Tauler met a beggar, “God give you a good day, my friend,” he said. The beggar answered, “I thank God I never had a bad one.” Then Tauler said, “God give you a happy life, my friend.” “I thank God,” said the beggar, ‘I am never unhappy.” Tauler in amazement said, “What do you mean?” “Well,” said the beggar, “when it is fine, I thank God; when it rains, I thank God; when I have plenty, I thank God; when I am hungry, I thank God; and since God’s will is my will, and whatever pleases him pleases me, why should I say I am unhappy when I am not?” Tauler looked at he man in astonishment. “Who are you?” he asked. “I am a king,” said the beggar. “Where then is your kingdom?” asked Tauler. And the beggar answered quietly: “In my heart.

Isaiah said it long ago: “Thou dost keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trust in thee”(Isaiah 26:3). As the north country woman had it: “I am always happy, and my secret is always to sail the seas, and ever to keep the heart in port.”

There may be greater sins than worry, but very certainly there is no more disabling sin. “Take no anxious thought for the morrow”—that is the commandment of Jesus, and it is the way, not only to peace, but also to power.

Which of you, by taking thought—The third argument is taken from their extreme weakness and helplessness. With all your care you cannot increase your stature a single cubit. God has ordered your height. Beyond his appointment your powers are of no avail, and you can do nothing. So of raiment. He, by His providence, orders and arranges the circumstances of your life. “Beyond” that appointment of His providence, beyond his care for you, your efforts avail nothing. Seeing, then, that he alike orders your growth and the supply of your needs, how obvious is the duty of depending upon him, and of beginning all your efforts, feeling that He only can grant you the means of preserving life.

One cubit—The cubit was originally the length from the elbow to the end of the middle finger. The cubit of the Scriptures is not far from 22 inches. Terms of “length” are often applied to life, and it is thought by many to be so here. Thus, it is said, “Thou hast made my days as a handbreadth” Ps. 39:5; “Teach me the measure of my days” Ps. 39:4. In this place it is used to denote a “small length.” You cannot increase your stature even a cubit, or in the smallest degree. Compare Luke 12:26.

Stature—This word means “height.” The original word, however, means oftener “age,” John 9:21: “He is of age;” so also John 9:23. If this be its meaning here, as is probable (compare Robinson, Lexicon), it denotes that a man cannot increase the length of his life at all. The utmost anxiety will not prolong it one hour beyond the time appointed for death.

Consider the lilies of the field—The fourth consideration is taken from the care which God bestows on lilies. Watch the growing of the lily. It toils not, and it spins not; yet night and day it grows. With a beauty with which the most splendid monarch of the East was never adorned. it expands its blossom and fills the air with fragrance. Yet this beauty is of short continuance. Soon it will fade, and the beautiful flower will be cut down and burned. God “so little” regards the bestowment of beauty and ornament as to give the highest adorning to this which is soon to perish. When He thus clothes a lily—a fair flower, soon to perish—will he be unmindful of his children? Shall they dear to His heart and imbued with immortality—lack that which is proper for them, and shall they in vain trust the God that decks the lily of the valley?

Even Solomon in all his glory …—The common dress of Eastern kings was purple, but they sometimes wore white robes. See Est. 8:15; Dan. 7:9. It is to this that Christ refers. Solomon, says he, the richest and most magnificent king of Israel, was not clothed in a robe of “so pure a white” as the lily that grows wild in the field.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field—What grows up in the field, or grows wild and without culture. The word “grass,” applied here to the lily, denotes merely that it is a vegetable production, or that it is among the things which grow wild, and which are used for fuel.

Which today is—It lives today, or it lives for a day. It is short-lived, and seems to be a thing of no value, and is so treated.

Is cast into the oven—The Jews had different modes of baking. In early times they frequently baked in the sand, warmed with the heat of the sun. They constructed, also, movable ovens made of clay, brick, or plates of iron. But the most common kind, and the one here probably referred to, was made by excavating the ground 2 1/2 feet in diameter, and from 5 to 6 feet deep. This kind of oven still exists in Persia. The bottom was paved with stones. It was heated by putting wood or dry grass into the oven, and, when heated, the ashes were removed and the bread was placed on the heated stones. Frequently, however, the oven was an earthen vessel without a bottom, about 3 feet high, smeared outside and inside with clay, and placed upon a frame or support. Fire was made within or below it. When the sides were sufficiently heated, thin patches of dough were spread on the inside, and the top was covered, without removing the fire as in the other cases, and the bread was quickly baked.

III. There is a way to defeat worry (v. 33, 34).

To worry about material things is to live like the heathen! If we put God’s will and God’s righteousness first in our lives, He will take care of everything else. What a testimony it is to the world when a Christian dares to practice Matthew 6:33! What a tragedy it is when so many of us fail to practice it.

This is a divine appeal for men to put first things first. The kingdom of God should be placed first: (1) in importance, (2) in point of time, and (3) in emphasis. The righteousness men should seek is that of Christ, not their own. This means that God’s commandments should be honored, rather than men’s, and that his doctrine should be received and practiced instead of the commandments and traditions of men. As a result of true obedience, God will add “all these things” to the estate of his children. This is true not merely of individuals, but of nations and states as well. It can be no accident that those areas of the world which are most characterized by attention to and observance of the teachings of Christ are also those areas most civilized, having the highest standards of living and the greatest abundance of “all these things”!

  1. Trust the heavenly father to provide for us as he has promised (v. 32b).
  2. Seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all the things we need will be added to us (v. 33).
  3. Live one day at a time. Handle each worry as it comes. Many will never come to pass. Those that do occur can only be handled in the present (v. 34).

Take therefore no thought …—That is, no anxiety. Commit your way to God. The evil, the trouble, the anxiety of each day as it comes, is sufficient without perplexing the mind with restless cares about another day. It is wholly uncertain whether you live to see another day. If you do, it will bring its own trouble, and it will also bring the proper supply of your needs. God will be the same Father then as today, and will make then, as he does now, proper provision for your wants.

The morrow shall take thought—The morrow will have anxieties and cares of its own, but it will also bring the proper provision for those cares. Though you will have needs, yet God will provide for them as they occur. Do not, therefore, increase the cares of today by borrowing trouble from the future. Do your duty faithfully now, and depend upon the mercy of God and his divine help for the troubles which are yet to come.

Conclusion

Worrying does not prove that we are caring Christians. Worry only proves we do not yet trust God fully. The worry-free life provides freedom for the Christian and a good example for those who aren’t. It’s hard to imagine Jesus worrying. If we want to be truly Christlike, we must resist the temptation to worry.

Illustrations

An anonymous piece of doggerel says:

Worry is a futile thing It’s something like a rocking chair

It will keep you occupied But it won’t get you anywhere.

A wise man once said, “There ain’t no use worrying over what you have control over, because if you have control over it, there’s no use worrying about it. There’s no use worrying about what you don’t have control over, because if you don’t have control over it there’s no use worrying about it.” That covers everything, doesn’t it?

WORRY

’Tain’t worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes. Sarah Orne Jewett (1849–1909)

A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. Sir John Lubbock (1834–1913)

Care admitted as a guest quickly turns to be master. Christian Nestell Bovee (1820–1904)

Don’t tell me that worry doesn’t do any good. I know better. The things I worry about don’t happen.

Happy is the man who is too busy to worry by day, and too sleepy to worry at night.

If only we would stop lamenting and look up. God is here. Christ is risen. The Spirit has been poured out from on high. All this we know as theological truth. It remains for us to turn it into joyous spiritual experience. A. W. Tozer (1897–1963)

If we bring into one day’s thoughts the evil of many, certain and uncertain, what will be and what will never be, our load will be as intolerable as it is unreasonable. Jeremy Taylor (1613–1667)

It ain’t no use putting up your umbrella till it rains. Alice Caldwell Rice

It is distrust of God to be troubled about what is to come; impatience against God to be troubled with what is present; and anger at God to be troubled for what is past. Simon Patrick (1625–1707)

Leave tomorrow’s trouble to tomorrow’s strength; tomorrow’s work to tomorrow’s time; tomorrow’s trial to tomorrow’s grace and to tomorrow’s God.

Life’s too short for worrying. Yes, that’s what worries me.

Misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never happen. James Russell Lowell (1819–1891)

No man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow’s burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourself so. George Macdonald (1824–1905)

Not work, but worry makes us weary. S. I. McMillen

One is given strength to bear what happens to one, but not the one hundred and one different things that might happen. C. S. Lewis (1898–1963)

Only man clogs his happiness with care, destroying what is, with thoughts of what may be. John Dryden (1631–1700)

Only one type of worry is correct: to worry because you worry too much. Jewish Proverb

Seventy percent of all patients who come to physicians could cure themselves if they only got rid of their fears, worries, and bad eating habits. O. F. Gober

There are people who are always anticipating trouble; they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. Josh Billings (1818–1885)

To carry care to bed is to sleep with a pack on your back. Thomas Chandler Haliburton (1796–1865)

When worry is present, trust cannot crowd its way in.

Where care lodges, sleep will never lie. William Shakespeare (1564–1616)

Work won’t kill, but worry will. English Proverb

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. Swedish Proverb

Worry is a species of myopia—nearsightedness. E. Stanley Jones (1884–1973)

Worry is an indication that we think God cannot look after us. Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere. Bernard Meltzer

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its strength. Archibald Joseph Cronin (1896–1981)

Worry? Why worry? What can worry do? It never keeps a trouble from overtaking you. It gives you indigestion and sleepless hours at night And fills with gloom the days, however fair and bright. Helen Steiner Rice

Your ship is equal to the load of today; but when you are carrying yesterday’s worry and tomorrow’s anxiety, lighten up or you will sink.

 
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Posted by on July 9, 2015 in Encouragement

 

What Do Husbands Really Want in a Wife?


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Because many men do not discuss feelings as easily as most women do, wives are often shocked when their husband actually voices his desire to separate or divorce. They might have suspected that their spouse wasn’t entirely happy, but they didn’t think he’d ever be the one to end the marriage.

article-0-026FBC8000000578-196_468x592Sometimes the husband can’t give a specific answer as to why he feels the way he does. He just finally gets to the point where he can’t continue living the way he is. Sometimes, these feelings are brought to a head by the awareness that he’s getting older and life is passing him by. Or the feelings of discontent can be activated when another female finds him attractive and makes a play for him.


“What does he want from me that I’m not giving him?”

  • “How can I be interested in sex when I’m exhausted from everything I do for our three kids every day?”
  • “We’ve made it through some really tough times and I thought things were getting better, so why would he leave now?”

All of these questions and many others haunt the surprised wives.

To better understand what husbands want, let’s look at some of the priorities men have shared with me in marriage counseling sessions:

Men want to be appreciated for what they contribute to the marriage and family. They don’t want to be taken for granted. Some men have said, “I feel like she only values my paycheck and if I weren’t here anymore, she’d be fine with that.” Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and husbands are no exception.

It’s easy to focus on what a spouse isn’t doing, especially if a husband and wife are disagreeing about how much each should help with the kids or around the house. The wise wife will express appreciation for what her husband is currently doing and for the positive qualities he brings to the marriage, even while discussions continue about things she’d like to see done differently in the future.

Husbands enjoy seeing their wives smile and laugh, and they find smiles and laughter appealing. They do enjoy having their wives appreciate their jokes or stories, but they also like to see their wives just looking happy in general. This doesn’t mean going around with a fake grin and pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. But it does mean keeping a sense of humor in spite of problems and being able to shut the door on worries temporarily when you have some “down time” with your spouse.

Husbands want to feel that their wives really care about their welfare and about them on a deep level. They want their wife to spend time with them, to be concerned about their health, happiness, and well-­being.

Especially as men age, the feeling that a spouse doesn’t really care about them cuts deeply, even if the husband never shows that he’s hurt by the lack of affection and caring. They don’t want to feel that the kids always come first and that their preferences and needs are overlooked.

In numerous homes, this dynamic is what gets off balance and leads to serious relationship problems. The wife thinks she’s doing what’s best by putting the kids’ needs first, not realizing that the husband is as hurt as he is by this.

Husbands want private time with their wives—not just for sex, although that’s important­­but also to do activities together on their own. This is where making time for a “date night out” every week or so is important. Then the husband and wife can see a movie they want to see, uninterrupted by the kids, or have a peaceful meal at a restaurant. They can go bowling or dancing or get together with friends and keep their identity as an adult couple, not just as parents.

I have seen couples in counseling through the years who have decided not to ever leave their kids with a babysitter or go out on their own. This is always a red flag to me of an unwise course of action in the marriage. A heightened sense of passion between spouses is helped by time alone, “date time,” private time, time for the important part of the relationship that exists beyond the kids to be strengthened and nurtured.

Husbands want a satisfying sex life. You knew we’d eventually get to sex, didn’t you? So here it is. A marriage without a passionate sex life is lacking a key ingredient that wives all too often underestimate. And the reality is that a husband who does not have a satisfying sexual relationship with his wife is much more vulnerable to becoming involved with someone else.

Yes, I know there are couples who over time stop having sex and yet both partners choose to stay in the marriage, but in many cases, there’s a resulting sense of resignation and dullness in the marriage. The fire or passionate spark that helps a couple to stay together is missing, so there’s often a lack of “life” or energy in the relationship.

Wives can argue until they’re blue in the face that sex shouldn’t mean so much to husbands, but the reality is that it usually does have a high priority on the husband’s list. Why? Because it feels good, because it makes him feel attractive and desired, because it enhances satisfaction with the marriage, because it can help the husband to feel closer and more connected to his wife, and because it relieves stress.

Use these five areas above to open discussion with your husband about how he feels in the marriage and whether his needs are being met. After all, that’s one of the keys to marriage success—opening the communication door so that each spouse can share from his or her viewpoint and feel heard by the partner.

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2015 in Family

 

Abundant Life Issue #1: Coping with life’s problems


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Do you have a dream? You need one. Dreams give hope. They display a powerful image of what life can be. Has your dream been shattered? Worse yet, has your dream turned into a nightmare and come true? For all of us dreamers, there is hope.

Joseph was called, derisively, the dreamer. Some of his dreams were prophetic. He saw himself as a leader of men. Joseph dreamed of using his considerable talents to do great things for God and his family. Joseph’s dreams enabled him to live affirmatively.

Genesis 37-40

We begin now a study of one of the most exciting biographies in the Bible, that of Joseph and his brothers. The entire story illustrates the sovereignty of God and God’s providential care of His own. While Joseph had his faults, he still stands out as a spiritual giant in his own family.

  1. Joseph the Favored Son (37)
  2. Jacobs love (vv. 1-4)

Since Rachel was Jacob’s favorite wife, and Joseph was her firstborn son (30:22-24), it is easy to see why Jacob favored him in his old age. This kind of partiality in a home is bound to cause trouble. Joseph at seventeen was helping with the sheep, but soon Jacob relieved him of that duty and made him an “overseer” by giving him a “tailored coat.” Jacob wanted to make Joseph a ruler before he had really learned how to be a servant! The result—Joseph’s brothers hated him (v. 4) and envied him (v. 11).

  1. Josephs dreams (vv. 5-11)

That these dreams came from God, there is no question; and certainly the assurance that one day he would rule helped to keep Joseph faithful during those many years of testing in Egypt. Note that the first dream had an earthly setting, while the second dream was set in heaven. This suggests Abraham’s earthly children (the Jews) and his heavenly seed (the church). Joseph’s brothers did one day bow down to him! See also 42:6; 43:26; and 44:14.

  1. Judahs scheme (vv. 12-28)

We are not told which of the brothers first suggested doing away with Joseph. Possibly it was Simeon, who resented Joseph’s intrusion on the rights of the firstborn (which would finally be taken away from Reuben, 49:3-4). We know from chapter 34 that Simeon was crafty and cruel, and in 42:24, Joseph was rather harsh on Simeon. At any rate, the brothers were back in the region of Shechem (where they had gotten into trouble before, chap. 34), and they plotted to slay Joseph. It is to Reuben’s credit that he tried to spare Joseph’s life, although he used the wrong method to accomplish a noble deed. God overruled the hatred of the men, and Joseph was sold into slavery instead of slain in cold blood.

  1. Jacobs sorrow (vv. 29-36)

Years before, Jacob had slain a kid to deceive his father (27:9ff), and now his sons deceived him the same way. We reap what we sow. Jacob spent the next twenty-two years in sorrow, thinking that Joseph was dead. He thought that everything was working against him (Gen. 42:36), when in reality everything was working for him (Rom. 8:28). God had sent Joseph ahead to prepare the way for Israel’s preservation as a nation.

  1. Joseph the Faithful Steward (38-39)

Chapter 38 presents a sordid picture, showing Judah yielding to the lusts of the flesh. It is quite a contrast to Joseph’s purity (39:7-13). Judah was willing to sell his brother for a slave, yet he himself was a “slave of sin” (John 8:34). Even so, “where sin abounds, grace much more abounds” (Rom. 5:20), for we see that Tamar is included in the human lineage of Christ (Matt. 1:3). Note that Judah was harder on others than on himself (v. 24). Like David, he wanted the “sinner” judged—until he discovered that he was the sinner!

Jacob had tried to shield Joseph from the responsibilities of work, but God knew that Joseph could never be a ruler until first he was a servant (Matt. 25:21). God used three disciplines in Joseph’s life to prepare him to be the second ruler of Egypt:

  1. The discipline of service (39:1-6)

Joseph exchanged his “tailored coat” for a servant’s garb, and God forced him to learn how to work. This way, he learned humility (1 Peter 5:5-6) and the importance of obeying orders.

Because Joseph was faithful in the small things, God promoted him to greater things. See Prov. 22:29 and 12:24.

  1. The discipline of self-control (39:7-18)

Joseph’s mother was a beautiful woman, and no doubt the son inherited her features (29:17). Egyptian women were known for their unfaithfulness, but Joseph did not yield. God was testing Joseph, for if Joseph could not control himself as a servant, he could never control others as a ruler. He could have argued, “Nobody will know!” or “Everybody else is doing it!” But, instead, he lived to please God and made it a point to make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). “Flee youthful lusts!” Paul admonished (2 Tim. 2:22)—and that is just what Joseph did. As the Puritan preacher said, Joseph lost his coat, but he kept his character. Too many people have failed in this discipline, and God has had to put them on the shelf (1 Cor. 9:24-27; Prov. 16:32; 25:28).

  1. The discipline of suffering (39:19-23)

Not only was Joseph able to control his appetites, but he was also able to control his tongue; for he did not argue with the officers or expose the lie Potiphar’s wife was spreading about him. Control of the tongue is a mark of spiritual maturity (James 3). It is likely that Potiphar was the captain of the guards in charge of prisoners; he may even have been the chief executioner. At any rate, he saw to it that Joseph was put in the king’s prison (v. 20), and Joseph’s faithfulness and devotion again brought him favor with the officers. “The Lord was with Joseph” is the key to his success (39:2, 5, 21). Joseph had to suffer as a prisoner for at least two years, and probably longer. Psalm 105:17-20 explains that this suffering put “iron” in his soul. It helped to make a man out of him. People who avoid suffering have a hard time developing character. Certainly Joseph learned patience from his suffering (James 1:1-5) as well as a deeper faith in God’s Word (Heb. 6:12). This suffering was not enjoyable, but it was necessary, and one day it turned into glory.

III. Joseph the Forgotten Servant (40)

Joseph was now a servant in the royal prison (41:12), faithfully doing his work and waiting for the day when his prophetic dreams would come true. One day two new prisoners were added—the cupbearer to Pharaoh and the chief baker. What their crimes were is not stated; it may have been some minor thing that upset Pharaoh. However, we know that God arranged their arrest for Joseph’s sake. Joseph had been treated unjustly, but he knew that one day God would fulfill His Word.

Note Joseph’s humility as he interpreted the two dreams (v. 8). He gave all the glory to the Lord. “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time” (1 Peter 5:6).

The two prisoners were in bonds because of something they had done, while Joseph was innocent. His interpretation of the dreams came true: the cupbearer was restored, and the baker was hanged. Yet Joseph was left in prison! We may wonder why others experience the blessings that we so desperately need; yet God has His plan and His time.

There is a hint of discouragement and unbelief, however, in Joseph’s request in v. 14. Was Joseph leaning on the arm of flesh? If so, the arm of flesh failed him, for the butler completely forgot about Joseph for the next two years. This was a good lesson to Joseph never to trust in men. God was ultimately going to use the butler’s bad memory to deliver Joseph, but the right time had not yet come. The butler forgot Joseph, but God did not forget him!

Joseph was seventeen years old when he went to Egypt and thirty years old when he was delivered from the prison (41:46). This means he spent thirteen years as a servant and a prisoner, years of discipline and training, and years of preparation for his lifelong ministry as the second ruler of Egypt. God prepares us for what He is preparing for us, if we will but yield to Him.

Genesis 41-45

This section records Joseph’s elevation from prisoner to second ruler of the land. He was given a new name—”the revealer of secrets” (41:45). Note the three secrets that Joseph revealed.

  1. The Secret of Pharaoh’s Dreams (41)

Joseph had hoped that the butler would remember him and intercede for him (40:13-15), but the man did not remember Joseph until the day Pharaoh became disturbed because he could not find the meaning of his strange dreams. God’s ways are past finding out, but God’s time to act is never too early or too late. Note the humility of Joseph as he stood before the mightiest monarch on earth: “God shall give Pharaoh an answer of peace” (v. 16). He explained the dream: there would be seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Then he gave wise counsel: appoint a wise man to administer the food supply. God directed Pharaoh to appoint Joseph, so now he was exalted to the throne! See also 1 Peter 5:6.

Joseph’s marriage to a Gentile bride is a type of Christ’s marriage to the church during this age when His brothers after the flesh have rejected Him. “Manasseh” means “to forget” and suggests that Joseph’s new position in God’s will had caused him to forget the trials of the past; and “Ephraim” means “doubly fruitful,” suggesting that all his trials had, in the end, led to fruitfulness and blessing. Like the grain of wheat, Joseph “died” that he might not abide alone (John 12:23-26). God kept His Word to Joseph, and Joseph’s predictions came true. The Word of the Lord stands when man’s wisdom fails (41:8).

However, all of this was but a part of a greater plan, a plan to preserve Israel and prepare the way for the birth of Christ.

The Secrets of His Brothers’ Hearts (42-44)

The plan was now set in motion, for Jacob heard that there was grain in Egypt and sent his sons to secure food. Consider their two visits to Egypt.

The first visit (42)

Ten of the sons went down to Egypt, and Joseph recognized them even though they did not recognize him. Certainly his appearance had changed in twenty years, and his Egyptian speech and dress would lead them to believe he was a native. Note that the ten men bowed down (42:6), but that Joseph’s dreams had predicted that eleven would bow (37:9-10). This explains how Joseph knew the men would return with his brother, Benjamin.

Why was Joseph so hard on his brothers? And why did he wait so long to reveal himself to them? Because he wanted to be sure they had repented of their sins. To excuse people who are not sincerely repentant is to make them a worse sinner (see Luke 17:3-4). How did Joseph deal with his brothers? He spoke roughly to them and accused them of being spies (7-14; he kept them locked up for three days (v. 17); and then he kept Simeon as hostage and bound him before their eyes (vv. 18-24). His crowning act was to give them back their money (vv. 25-28). This rough treatment had its designed result, for the men confessed, “We are guilty!” See vv. 21-23. This statement indicated to Joseph that their hearts were softening. Their report to Jacob back home and their discovery of the money in their sacks only complicated their problem. What would they do? If they stayed home, they were thieves, but if they went back to Egypt, they had to risk taking Benjamin with them. We wonder if v. 36 indicates that Jacob knew what they had done to Joseph years before.

The second visit (chaps. 43-44)

God made Jacob’s family hungry again, and like the prodigal son of Luke 15, these men had to go back or starve to death. We see here other indications of their change of heart: Judah’s willingness to be surety, to bear the blame for young Benjamin; their willingness to return the money; and their confession of the truth to Joseph’s steward (43:19-22). However, they were making some mistakes too—taking a present to Joseph and confessing their sins to the servant instead of to Joseph himself. We cannot help but see in this whole episode the way God deals with the lost sinner. God controls circumstances to bring the sinner to himself and to the end of himself. But, sad to say, too many convicted sinners try to win their salvation by offering a present, or by confessing to a human servant, or by making some great sacrifice (as Judah did when he offered his own life as surety for Benjamin). The only way Joseph could excuse their sins was by receiving their honest confession and repentance.

Joseph used two devices to bring them to the place of confession: the feast of joy (43:26-34—note that in v. 26 and v. 28 all eleven men bowed before him) and the discovery of the cup in Benjamin’s sack. Again in 44:14 all eleven men fell down before Joseph in true contrition. “God has found out the iniquity of your servants!” they confess (44:16, NKJV). We cannot help but admire Judah’s speech in 44:18-34, not only for its humility and confession but also for the love that it shows toward his father and his youngest brother. He was willing to be surety, to bear the blame, even though it would cost him his life.

What a beautiful spiritual lesson we have here. Judah thought that Joseph was actually dead (44:20), and therefore, that he himself was guilty of murder. What he did not realize was that Joseph was alive—and was his savior! The lost sinner stands before God’s bar of judgment and confesses his guilt, thinking that his confession will mean certain wrath. But Jesus Christ is alive, and because He is alive, He is able to save to the uttermost. Christ does not expect us to be surety for our sins, or for the sins of another, for He Himself is our surety before God (Heb. 7:22). As long as Christ lives, God can never condemn us. And He will live forever!

It was not their confession of guilt, their sacrifices, or their gifts that brought salvation to the brothers. It was the gracious forgiveness of Joseph, a forgiveness purchased by his own suffering on their behalf. What a picture of Jesus Christ!

III. The Secret of God’s Purpose (45)

It was now time for Joseph to reveal himself and the purpose for which God had sent him. Acts 7:13 makes it clear that it was “the second time” that he revealed himself, just as it was the second time that Israel received Moses after rejecting his leadership forty years before (Acts 7:35). This is the theme of Stephen’s speech recorded in Acts 7: the chosen people Israel have always rejected their saviors the first time and received them the second time; they will do the same with Jesus Christ.

Joseph’s revelation of himself brought his brothers terror, for they fully expected him to judge them for their past sins. But he had seen their repentance; they had bowed before him; and he knew he could forgive them. He explained that five more years of famine would follow, but that he had prepared a place of refuge for them and their families there in Egypt. God had sent him before to save their lives.

Joseph promised to nourish them (v. 11) and protect them. He wept over them and kissed them, and he sent gifts to his father to assure him of the riches that lay in Egypt. “Come unto me!” was his invitation (45:18). Then, what a change took place in Jacob after he discovered that Joseph was alive—a change not too different from the change in the disciples when they discovered that Christ was alive! Before, Jacob had said, “All these things are against me (42:36), but now he could say, “All things are working together for good!”

  1. Affirmative living means recognizing the presence of God in your life.
    1. Whatever happened to Joseph never caused him to give up on God.
    2. In fact, everything that happened to him only drew him closer to God.
    3. Do you notice the presence of God in your life? Do you believe he has a plan for you? If not, you need to dare to dream again.
  1. Affirmative living means making the best of bad situations.
    1. Joseph was hated and sold into slavery. He was unjustly accused and placed in prison. Though forgotten, he never lost hope. We couldn’t have blamed him if he had.
    2. But, whatever happened to Joseph, he kept on making the best of it. He was sold into slavery only to become the head servant. Sent to prison, he took over the administration. Brought before the king, he became Pharaoh’s right hand man.
    3. Are you faced with troubles that bear down on you? If so, you need to dare to dream again.
  • Affirmative living means maintaining your principles even when inconvenient.
    1. Joseph faced his biggest challenge when accosted by his master’s wife.
    2. He could have given all kinds of excuses to give in, but he was willing to do what was right, in spite of the consequences. Have you been mistreated? If so, you need to dare to dream again.
  1. Affirmative living means recognizing God is in control.
    1. Joseph, when he was finally reunited with his brothers, said to them, “What you did to me you meant for bad, God used for good.” Joseph believed that ultimately God is in control, and that all things work together for good.
    2. Have you wondered if God has deserted you, or if your life has any purpose at all? If so, you need to dare to dream again.

Conclusion

It is my prayer that God will give you a dream if you do not have one. That he will restore your dream if it has been shattered. That he will give you courage if your dreams have turned to nightmares. Dare to dream again. If you have no dream, you are already dead.

Illustration

If you were to observe a group of people in a downtown area, all walking in different directions, you might think there they had no purpose at all. But if you were to interview each person, you would find that they are going somewhere and there is a purpose in the trip. Likewise, this world seems at times chaotic, but if we had the wisdom, we would see that there is a direction and purpose in life.

Some statements to encourage

A bell doesn’t ring on its own—if someone doesn’t pull or push it, it will remain silent. Plautus (c. 254–184 b.c.)

A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. A strong man must have something difficult to do. John Stuart Blackie (1809–1895)

Doing becomes the natural overflow of being when the pressure within is stronger than the pressure without. Lois Lebar

Every calling is great when greatly pursued. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809–1894)

Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully, prepare prayerfully, proceed positively, pursue persistently. William Arthur Ward (1812–1882)

Give me a person who says, “This one thing I do, and not these fifty things I dabble in.” Dwight Lyman Moody (1837–1899)

I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back. Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865)

It is not enough to aim: you must hit. Italian Proverb

It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others.Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906–1945)

No great achievement is possible without persistent work. Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872–1970)

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome. Samuel Johnson (1709–1784)

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Sitting on a tack is often more useful than having an idea; at least it makes you get up and do something about it.

Some men dream of worthy accomplishments, while others stay awake and do them.

The airplane, the atomic bomb, and the zipper have cured me of any tendency to state that a thing can’t be done. R. L. Duffus

The greatest works are done by the ones. The hundreds do not often do much, the companies never; it is the units, the single individuals, that are the power and the might. Charles Spurgeon (1834–1892)

The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become. Harold Taylor

There is no gathering the rose without being pricked by the thorns.

Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. Lord Chesterfield (1694–1773)

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Do It Anyway


 

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1. People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered. Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9. People really need help, but may attack you if you do help them. Help them anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

David Augsberger, When Enough is Enough, (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1984), pp. 109-130

President Truman’s definition is: “A leader is a person who has the ability to get others to do what they don’t want to do, and like it.”…

Lord Montgomery enunciated seven ingredients necessary in a leader in war, each of which is appropriate to the spiritual warfare:

(1) He should be able to sit back and avoid getting immersed in detail.
(2) He must not be petty.
(3) He must not be pompous.
(4) He must be a good picker of men.
(5) He should trust those under him, and let them get on with their job without interference.
(6) He must have the power of clear decision.
(7) He should inspire confidence.

 
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Posted by on June 29, 2015 in Church

 

Are you in love? Do you love enough?


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A young man said to his father at breakfast one morning, “Dad, I’m going to get married.” “

How do you know you’re ready to get married?” asked the father. “Are you in love?” “I sure am,” said the son. “How do you know you’re in love?” asked the father.

“Last night as I was kissing my girlfriend good-night, her dog bit me and I didn’t feel the pain until I got home.”

Some years ago, Dr. Karl Menninger, noted doctor and psychologist, was seeking the cause of many of his patients’ ills. One day he called in his clinical staff and proceeded to unfold a plan for developing, in his clinic, an atmosphere of creative love. All patients were to be given large quantities of love; no unloving attitudes were to be displayed in the presence of the patients, and all nurses and doctors were to go about their work in and out of the various rooms with a loving attitude. At the end of six months, the time spent by patients in the institution was cut in half.

fellowship-love1.jpgSome strange conversations are often wrapped around the subject of “love.” A 20-year-old daughter earnestly prayed before climbing into bed: “Dear God, I don’t ask anything for myself, but I do pray for my mother. Please give mother a handsome son-in-law to love.”

On the other hand, some seem to be over anxious about landing someone who will love them.  The mountain man was doing the best he could to be chivalrous.  He carried a washtub on his back and a chicken under his arm, had a cane in one hand and led a calf with the other.  Still his new girlfriend was wary. Either that or she was trying to cover up what she really wanted. As they approached the dark woods she held back, saying, “I’m afraid to walk with you in there.  You might try to hug me and kiss me.” “How on earth do you think I could manage that?” the mountaineer asked.  “As you can see, I’m pretty well loaded down.” “Well,” she said, “you COULD stick that cane in the ground, tie the calf up to it, and put the chicken under the washtub.”

A story tells about a fellow who was far away from home, and in a small town. He had in his possession only one thing, a $1,000 bill, but nothing else, no small change, no identification, nothing. He was famished for food, ravenously hungry, but he could buy nothing, for no one would take his $1,000 bill. It was not until he found a way to break that bill down into small change that he could spend any of it.

Our love for God, quite similarly, must be broken down into small, spendable change.

The teachings of the Hasidic rabbis often provide insight into God’s ways. One story comes from Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev in the Ukraine.  He confessed that the learned the meaning of love from a drunken peasant.  The rabbi was visiting a tavern owner in Poland’s countryside. As he entered the tavern, he immediately noticed two peasants at a table.  Both were gloriously in their cups. Arms around one another, they were protesting how much each loved the other. Suddenly Ivan said to his friend, “Peter, tell me, what hurts me?” Stunned, Peter sat back into his chair and blurted out, “How do I know what hurts you?” Ivan’s response cut through the drunken stupor:  “If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say that you love me?”

None of us are loved perfectly. . . I heard recently of a couple who were trying to raise their little three year old so that he would never know fear. They didn’t paddle him, they never scolded him, they never said no, and they let him go where he wanted to go when he wanted to go, and do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. 

Some may think that this sound like heaven. . . when it didn’t sound like heaven to the person who was telling me this story.  This young couple happened to live by a busy highway. They had to go to a social activity and so they asked my friend to take care of this little boy. 

My friend said he had never had such a task on his hands before.  Can you imagine trying to take care of a three year old that knew no fear?  He was continually disappearing. . . and where did he want to go???? Of course, he wanted to go out and stand in the middle of the highway to watch the cars whiz by on either side.  The young parents thought that they were loving the child perfectly but they were just preparing the child for hurt, injury, and pain.

A man was known to carry a little can of oil wherever he went.  If he passed through a door that squeaked, he put a drop of oil on the hinges, and if a gate was hard to open, he oiled the latch.  So he passed through life lubricating all the creaking places, and making it a little more pleasant for those who followed after him. There is no telling how many lives we could keep from “rusting and squeaking” and how many gates we could open to happiness, if only we would carry a little oil of brotherly love and human kindness in an effort to prevent  lives of Christians from rusting away in sin.

John Haggai in his book Lead On tells about Dr. Claude H. Barlow, a missionary to China and one of the most revered foreigners to work in that land. A strange disease for which he knew no remedy was killing people.  There were no research laboratories for this disease, so Dr. Barlow conducted his own research.  He studied the disease, filling a notebook with his observations.  He then procured a vial of disease germs and sailed for the United States. 

Before he arrived, he took the germs into his own body, then went to the John Hopkins University Hospital to be observed. Claude Barlow was very sick now.  He allowed his old professors at John Hopkins to use him for experimentation. A cure was found, which a healthy Claude Barlow took back to China with him.  His efforts saved countless lives.

When asked about the experience, Dr. Barlow replied, “Anyone would have done the same thing.  I happened to be in a position of vantage and had the chance to offer my body.”

I doubt that just anyone would have done that, don’t you? Only a person with a very special kind of love in his or her heart would make that kind of sacrifice.  It is that very special kind of love proceeding from the heart of God that determined to  make a supreme sacrifice so that you might be saved. Without that love we would all still be orphans in a strange and hostile universe.  But that love does exist.  It exists in the church . . . it exists among people around this earth who have had an encounter with Jesus.

Being In Love

C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity wrote, “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all….In fact, the state of being in love usually does not last….But of course ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love…is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God….They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enable them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

At the entrance to the harbor at the Isle of Man, there are two lights, which guide the mariner into the harbor. One would think the two signals would confuse the pilot. But the fact is, he has to keep them in line, and so long as he keeps the two lights in line his vessel is safe. And it is just as we keep our eyes on the two signals — the love of God, and the love of man — that we keep the channel, and are safe from the rocks on either hand. [2]

The height of our love for God will never exceed the depth of our love for one another.  Love is never lost.  If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.

We can risk loving as passionately as God loves.  For we know that the love God makes possible is no scarce resource that must be hoarded so that it may be distributed in dribs and drabs–a little here and a little there.  Love is not a rare commodity; rather, the more we love with the intense particularity of God’s love, the more we discover that we have the capacity to love. [3]

If you have love in your heart, you always have something to give. No one ever said it better than C. S. Lewis: To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket -safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable….  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love… is Hell.

     We become vulnerable when we love people and go out of our way to help them.  That’s what the wealthy industrialist Charles Schwab declared after going to court and winning a nuisance suit at age 70. Given permission by the judge to speak to the audience, he made the following statement:  “I’d like to say here in a court of law, and speaking as an old man, that nine-tenths of my troubles are traceable to my being kind to others.  Look, you young people, if you want to steer away from trouble, be hard-boiled.  Be quick with a good loud no to anyone and everyone.  If you follow this rule, you will seldom be bothered as you tread life’s pathway. Except you’ll have no friends, you’ll be lonely, and you won’t have any fun!”  Schwab had made his point — love may bring heartache, but it’s worth it!

Whenever people expend themselves, they want results.  If they lay down life, they want someone’s life raised up.  If they empty themselves, they want someone to be filled.  They want their sufferings to bear fruit.

If this doesn’t happen, they’re tempted to give up.  The refusal of the gift quickly becomes a reason not to offer it.  Instead of leaning into resistance with love, they’ll back off and say, “Well, we tried.”

However, the motive for offering love is not that it be successful.  Christians want reponse, but they are not bound to it. They sacrifice for others because they are the recipients of sacrifice.  They are the current generation of a long line of broken bodies and shed blood.

This gift Christians have received, they freely give.  They join the living history in enacting the dream of God, [which] is a people sustained and transformed by mutual sacrificial love. [4]

Do you love enough?

Show me a church where there is love, and I will show you a church that is a power in the community.  In Chicago a few years ago a little boy attended a Sunday school I know of. When his parents moved to another part of the city the little fellow still attended the same Sunday school, although it meant a long, tiresome walk each way. A friend asked him why he went so far, and told him that there were plenty of others just as good nearer his home.

“They may be as good for others, but not for me,” was his reply.

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because they love a fellow over there,” he replied.

If only we could make the world believe that we loved them, there would be fewer empty churches, and a smaller proportion of our population who never darken a church door. Let love replace duty in our church relations, and the world will soon be evangelized. [5]

We’d be better people and have greater churches if we’d live according to this poem:

Lord, let me live from day to day In such a self-forgetful way,
That, even when I kneel to pray, My prayer shall be for others.

Help me, in all the work I do, Ever to be sincere and true,
And know that all I’d do for Thee, Must needs be done for Others.

Let “self” be crucified and slain, And buried deep, nor rise again;
And may all efforts be in vain, Unless they be for Others.

And when my work on earth is done, And my new work in heaven begun
May I forget the crown I’ve won, While thinking still of Others.

Yes, Others, Lord, yes, Others. Let this motto be;
Help me to live for Others, That I may live with Thee.

 
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Posted by on June 25, 2015 in Family

 

Life is too short and families grow too fast for us to raise a family through “trial and error”


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Life is too short and families grow  too fast for us to raise a family  through “trial and error”

 Picture2 Man’s domestic problems begin when he departs from God’s counsel regarding the home. This study is vital because our understanding of Christ’s relationship to the church is dependent upon His conception of the home. A reminder about Satan The first attack Satan made was against the home: he invaded Eden and led the first  husband and wife into disobedience and judgment.

He is called the “deceiver” and wants us to center our mind upon him, to make us  ignorant of God’s will in our life. He uses lies…Jesus tells us that “Satan is the Father of  all liars…that he cannot tell the truth because it just isn’t in him”….our defense is God’s Word!

He’s also called “the destroyer” and uses suffering in this world to make us impatient with God’s will…we need to remember the unmerited, unending grace that God bestows upon each of us when we choose Jesus and make Him Savior and Lord of our lives!

If he can’t get us through these means, Satan works on our pride and hopes to make us independent of God’s will.  Or he uses accusation as “the accuser” to work on the heart and the conscience to bring an indictment by God’s will.

Satan uses religious leaders today to forbid marriage (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Singleness is a Christian’s option but for most people, marriage is the will of God. Satan’s approach is to convince the person that marriage is sinful. Any teaching  that claims greater spiritual virtues and blessings for the celibate than for the married is of the devil and not from God.

Satan seeks to reverse the headship in the home (1 Tim. 2:11-13; Eph. 5:22-23).  He wants man to be concerned with dictatorship and forget the model of Christ as the head of the church; the husband ought to be the head of the wife in a living, loving relationship.

What is the answer to life’s difficulties and to Satan’s attacks on our homes? God!! It might be of some comfort to realize that the world has always been a difficult  place in which Christians must live. It has always been opposed to God’s values and God’s will. Satan longs for the soul of any age person who will reject good, right, and truth and turn to his way of thinking. Christians must daily remind themselves of the clear, simple words of Jesus, from Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” {14} “For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.”

Confident Children and How They Grow — Blessing or Bother?

How could I ever forget the birth of our first child? It was early in the morning and I was rather groggy, but even through the fog of the years I can still project on the screen of my mind some vivid scenes from my memory bank. I can still see the doctor walking toward me in the hallway of the hospital, looking like a giant pea pod in his surgical greens, announcing Picture3with a note of happy triumph, “It’s a girl!”

Little did I realize it at the moment, but I would hear that very same announcement two more times, each with a little less of the happy triumph. After all, variety is the spice of life, and what father in his right mind doesn’t want a little girl to put her arms around his neck and say, “I love you, Daddy.”

I have learned, however, that God knows far better than I do what my needs are. Since he gave me those boys, and since they are exactly what I need for my own spiritual growth and blessing, no human being could make me give any one of them up of my own volition. Next to the wonderful wife the Lord has given me, they are the most precious things in this world to me. Those beautiful words of the ancient poet of Israel have taken on new meaning

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. (5) Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. “

It is quite obvious that somebody wrote that a long time ago. There are not many people in 21st century America with the Psalmist’s viewpoint on children. A modern version might sound more like this: Lo, children are a burden from the Lord; and the fruit of the womb must be his way of testing us.  As the source of endless work and continual aggravation, so are the children of one’s youth.  Unhappy is the man who hears his neighbor ask, “Do all those kids belong to you?”

We can understand why folks might feel that way. Many children are rebellious, disobedient, disrespectful, and unmannerly–not very pleasant to be around. It’s no wonder that some people have decided not to have any at all. What has gone wrong? Where did we lose God’s perspective? The first verse of Psalm 127 may provide us with a clue. “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.” Stable and successful homes are built by God. He is the architect and the general contractor. He has drawn the blueprint, and he wants to provide the direction and give the orders. All he needs are some laborers–husbands, wives and children–who will study the blueprint provided in his Word, then follow his di­rections. Any other procedure is going to result in frustration and failure.

The basic problem in many homes is that we have departed from God’s blueprint and have substituted man’s. God is no longer the architect and builder. We are following instead the blueprint drawn by psychiatrists, psychologists, modern educators, doctors, and even syndicated columnists. Much of the advice we get from these sources is good. But if some parts of a blueprint are good and other parts are faulty, the result is going to be a weak building. The Bible is still the best textbook ever written on rearing children. We need to find out what it says and obey it. “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.”

It is gratifying to note an increasing alarm about the situation. Newspaper and magazine articles, along with a growing number of books on the subject, are warning people of the dangers of an unhappy home and are trying to help them repair the damage. The information may be helpful, but unless people are willing to turn their hearts and homes over to the Lord, it may be too little too late.

Listen to the Psalmist again. “Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.” No ancient city was safe from attack no matter how thick its walls nor alert its guards unless God was protecting it. Likewise, no home is safe from the attack of Satan unless it has been consciously committed to the Lord, unless he has been put in charge.Picture1

The homes where Jesus Christ reigns as Lord in the lives of every family member are the homes that will tower above the rest in love, serenity, happiness, mutual concern one for another, and the ability to adjust to people outside the home.

Some folks think there are other ways to produce a happy home. For example, “Work, work, work, as hard as you can. Provide all the material things of this world for your children. Maybe that will make them happy.” If dad doesn’t make enough money to do it, mom goes to work too. Read on in Psalm 127. “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” The bread of sorrows is simply bread secured through toil and trouble. Food is essential, but God can provide it without taking fathers and mothers away from their children day and night to pursue that elusive and almighty dollar.

God has no time for laziness. He blesses honest work, but he can supply the things we need without anxious efforts and ceaseless self-activity. The Psalmist says God provides for his beloved ones, literally, “in sleep,” the idea being in calm, restful, confident trust in him.


The society in which we live has perverted our perspective. We have been sold a bill of goods, the false theory that we owe our children all the things they want. We hear parents say, “But we want them to have all the things we never had.” So they have things, but they don’t know who they are, or why they are here, or what they ought to accomplish in life. The most incor­rigible rebels in our society are not necessarily the under­privileged. They are kids who have had all that money can buy but were never loved, appreciated, and accepted. 

 
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Posted by on June 22, 2015 in Sermon