A Celebration of Family — Do I Really Make A Difference?

05 Jul

I’m not sure I can adequately express how excited this event is for Terry and me. We are getting to meet some of you who have family members worshipping here at Sunset Avenue … and we’ve already heard some of the stories about you!

Where does it begin? Psalm 127:1-5 (NIV)
1  Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
2  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat– for he grants sleep to those he loves.
3  Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
4  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.
5  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

There are some people in 21st century who do not feel this way…a modern version might sound more like this: Lo, children are a burden from the Lord; and the fruit of the womb must be his way of testing us. As the source of endless work and continual aggravation, so are the children of one’s youth. Unhappy is the man who hears his neighbor ask, “Do all those kids belong to you?”

We can understand why folks might feel that way. Some children are rebellious, disobedient, disrespectful — not very pleasant to be around. Some young couples have decided not to have any at all.

In those families, what has gone wrong? Where might we lose God’s perspective? The first verse of Psalm 127 may provide us with a clue. Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

pic1Stable and successful homes are built by God. He’s the architect and the general contractor. He’s drawn the blueprint, and He wants to provide the direction and give the orders. All He needs are some laborers–husbands, wives and children–who will study the blueprint provided in His Word, then follow His di­rections. Any other procedure is going to result in frustration and failure. It’s because of this simple fact that many in foreign countries that otherwise do not believe in God…are interested in learning about God…because they see couples who have great homes!

Some folks think there are other ways to produce a happy home. For example, “Work, work, work, as hard as you can. Provide all the material things of this world for your children. Maybe that will make them happy.” If dad doesn’t make enough money to do it, mom goes to work too. Read on in Psalm 127. 2  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat– for he grants sleep to those he loves.

The bread of sorrows is simply bread secured through toil and trouble. Food is essential, but God can provide it without tak­ing fathers and mothers away from their children day and night to pursue that elusive and almighty dollar. God has no time for laziness. He blesses honest work, but he can supply the things we need without anxious efforts and ceaseless self‑activity. The Psalmist says God provides for his beloved ones, literally, “in sleep,” the idea being in calm, restful, confident trust in him.

Every new child born into a Christian home is a gracious gift from God, a lovely legacy from the Lord entrusted to our care to be loved, cherished, provided for and properly molded for his glory. “The fruit of the womb is his reward.”

A husband and wife ought to give their child to God even before he is born. And they should pray together after the birth of the child, willingly dedicating themselves to train him as God directs.

 “Happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

Wives, submit yourselves (vv. Ephesians 5:22-24).

22  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

He gives two reasons for this command: the lordship of Christ (Eph. 5:22) and the headship of the man in Christ (Eph. 5:23). When the Christian wife submits herself to Christ and lets Him be the Lord of her life, she will have no difficulty submitting to her husband.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (NIV)
3  Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Husbands, love your wives (vv. 25-32).

25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-30  for we are members of his body.
31  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32  This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church.

The husband is not to “use” his wife for his own pleasure, but rather is to show the kind of love that is mutually rewarding and sanctifying. The marriage experience is one of constant growth when Christ is the Lord of the home. Love always enlarges and enriches, while selfishness does just the opposite.

As he loves her, he is nourishing her. How many people have confessed, “I am starved for love.” There should be no starvation for love in the Christian home, for the husband and wife should so love each other that their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are met.

If both are submitted to the Lord, and to each other, they will be so satisfied that they will not be tempted to look anywhere else for fulfillment.

Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV)
1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2  “Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise–
3  “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

4  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Let the audience see what exasperation looks like!


LOVE AND RESPECT (Ephesians 5:33)

33  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

pic2The secret to the communication code is this:
1. Love is her deepest need and respect is his deepest need. I believe this based on the Bible.
Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.”

In other words, a wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect.

Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love.

Marital craziness is when we keep doing the same thing over and over. The topics change but the crazy cycle continues. Unless couples discover the secret that cracks the communication code, and learn how to get off the Crazy Cycle, things tend to stay a bit crazy! And it really gets crazy when a husband tells his wife, “Oh, stop feeling this way.” Or, a wife says to her husband, “Oh, stop feeling this way.”

The marriage book…and the dieting book.

Read the words from the I Love You card.

This is what I’m really saying every time I say I Love You…

I’m really trying to say so much more than just those three little words;

I’m trying to express so many wonderful feelings about you…

I’m trying to say that you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.

I’m trying to let you know that I adore you and that I cherish the time we spend together.

I’m trying to explain that I want you and that I need you and that I get lost in wonderful thoughts every time I think about you.

And each time I whisper “I love you,” I’m trying to remind you that you’re the nicest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Another card: I love you with all my heart. And my body generally goes where my heart does.

How Being a Strong Christian Will Help Us Have A Happy Marriagepic3

  • Christians are concerned about others.
  • Christians practice love.
  • Christians want the best for others.
  • Christians have a positive sexual ethic.
  • Christians can forgive.
  • Christians make good fathers and mothers.
  • Christians provide for their own.
  • Christians are kind.
  • Christians are unselfish.
  • Christians honor/respect each other

I believe that we are magic, that all things are possible, that life is precious, that peace is reasonable, that laugher is special, that blessings are divine, that love is grand…And that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you.


1.Make A Commitment
2. Make it a Priority
3. Make your marriage fun
4. Learn to communicate, talk, and fight (fair)

pic4My wife & I never fight . . . “But sometimes you can hear us reasoning things out for several blocks.”

5. Deal with your Demons!

  • Find out what you’re doing to harm your marriage and heal it.
  • Dictatorship?
  • Financial irresponsibility?
  • Temper?
  • Pornography?
  • Substance Abuse?
  • You name it…get help! I volunteer my services free of charge…and others here will, too.

“Buy Me a Rose” lyrics
He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants…A three car garage, her own credit cards. He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night. If he could only read her mind, she’d say:

Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone, And she can’t help but wonder what she’s doing wrong. Cause lately she’d try anything to turn his head. Would it make a difference if she said:

Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

And the more that he lives the less that he tries To show her the love that he holds inside.
And the more that she gives the more that he sees…This is a story of you and me

So I bought you a rose on the way home from work, To open the door to a heart that I hurt. And I hope you notice this look in my eyes Cause I’m gonna make things right For the rest of your life. I’m gonna hold you tonight. Do all those little things …For the rest of your life.


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Posted by on July 5, 2014 in Article


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