Allow at least 30 minutes for this exercise. Make sure you are alone and undisturbed. Husbands should fill in the answers first, then fold, the answers under while the wife answers. The wife’s answers apply to the husband’s behavior, not hers. The two should then dialogue on their responses, each one from the “feeling” point of view (non-judgmental).

                                                               Yes           No

1. I write a personal, affectionate note or letter to my wife regularly (weekly?).
2. I never have to be reminded of her birthday or our anniversary.
3. I plan an honest evaluation of our marriage regularly (perhaps with testing).On your anniversary do you recommit? Perhaps listen to the tape of your marriage ceremony.
4. We have developed specific goals for n our family spiritually, emotionally and economically.
5. We have at least one meal daily with all the family members together.
6. My wife has confirmed to me that the money she receives is reasonable and adequate under our financial circumstances.
7. I encourage my wife to develop her own potentialities (by taking courses, etc.)
8. I am aware of what is going on in my house between my wife and our children.
9. In dealing with all family members, I am more positive than negative.
10. I regularly help my wife with the children and the “necessary drudgery.”
11. 11.I never ask others to our house without my wife knowing in advance and with assurance of my help.
12. I respond to her preferences in buying a new house or automobile.
13. I seldom tire of talking with my wife.
14. I still court my wife.
15. I spend at least one hour each week, alone with my wife, talking about our mutual interests.
16. I am closer to my wife now than I was one year ago.
17. I make most decisions of my family’s welfare rather than my own (Phil. 2:3,4).
18. I allow my wife to use her abilities and talents to their fullest.
19. I show patience in most situations.
20. I allow her to make many decisions.
21. I treat her as a partner, not as a servant.
22. I forgive her when she makes bad decisions.
23. I try to guide (vs. boss) when she needs
24. She can talk with me about anything without my getting angry.
25. There is nothing about which she is afraid to talk with me.
26. I try basically to be an unselfish person.
27. I am primarily a Christian who loves the Lordship of Jesus.
28. Is the Lord really first in your life?
29. Are nagging, bickering or picking general occurrences at your home?
30. Are you in subjection to your husband? Do you place him in the position of leadership?
31. Are you a happy person? Do you take life, generally, without complaint
32. Are you a positive, affirming person?
33. Are you a forgiving person?
34. Do you often interrupt your husband when he talking or telling a story?
35. Do you put your husband down in public? In private?
36. Do you have reasonable control of your weight?
37. Are you sexually responsive to your husband at least 95% of the time?
38. How do you handle problems and pressures? Do you remain indecisive or blame others when things go wrong?
39. Do you call your husband any ugly names? (Any name he does not like is ugly.)
40. Do you have any resentments against your husband (because he is “fat,” “late,” ill-mannered, uneducated, etc.)?
41. Is your house reasonably organized and clean?
42. How do you feel about housework? Do you do it willingly?
43. Are you too “fussy” about how the house looks?
44. How is your credit? Are you inclined to buy things on impulse, then have trouble paying your bills?
45. What is your social life like? Do you find yourself spending most of your spare time with your family and friends and very little with your husband’s family and friends?
46. Would you prefer to watch TV rather than talk with your husband?
47. Do you spend at least one-half of your leisure time together?
48. Do you ask which film or TV program he would like to see and then somehow you end up seeing the one you prefer?
49. Do you treat his mother (or yours) with disrespect?
50. Are in-laws allowed to interfere or set policies for your family?
51. How is your sense of humor? Do you laugh easily – even at yourself?
52. Has your husband caught you in little lies which you have tried to wriggle out of?
53. When you are wrong, do you find it hard to admit?
54. Do your prime interests in life center around things more than people?
55. Have you thought about who you are and what you will be like in 25 years