Indebted to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs for his insight*

Many of us have heard these words in our life: Do you take this woman/man to be your lawful wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

They are words said before our spouse, our family, our friends, and God.

When home is ruled according to God’s Word, “angels might be asked to stay with us, and they would not find them-selves out of their element.”

Why do many Christian marriages fail? Somebody is out of the will of God.

Ephesians 5:33 (ESV) However, let each one of you {husband} love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This verse is the often unknown secret to the communication code in our marriage relationship.

• Love is her deepest need and respect is his deepest need.

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NASB)
¹  If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
²  If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
³  And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
⁴  Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
⁵  does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
⁶  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
⁷  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸  Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
⁹  For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
¹³  But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

It is what you say but just as much what “you do.” It is the husband regularly doing “loving actions” or “acts of kindness.” But don’t misunderstand, husbands, what I am saying. They also need to hear those special words “I love you.” But the words without the action(s) don’t mean as much.

Respect: to hold in esteem or honor; to show regard or consideration for. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for your judgment.

It is deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; it is a proper acceptance or courtesy; it is acknowledgment.

• Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love.

Marriage Report Card

No marriage is perfect

Will YOU do anything about it if there’s an area that needs improvement?

Are both of you ‘set free’ to talk about these issues?

How Being a Strong Christian Will Help Us

Christians are concerned about others.

Christians practice love.

Christians want the best for others.

Christians have a positive sexual ethic.

Christians can forgive.

1. Make A Commitment

“Till death do us part.”

86% of the people who said that they were unhappy were happy five years later.

2. Make it a Priority

Continue to work at marriage.

The greatest thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse.

3. Make Marriage Fun!

Some middle age crisis are because all the fun has gone out of marriage.  It’s all work and no play!

Ecclesiastes 9:9: “Enjoy life with the wife of your youth.”

Enjoy sex:  Song of Solomon.

Learn to have fun with only a little money.

4. Learn to Communicate, Talk, and Fight!

Learn to listen. 

Learn to talk.

Be friends first!

Learn to fight fair.

5. Deal with your Demons!

Find out what you’re doing to harm your marriage and heal it.

Dictatorship?   Financial irresponsibility?

Temper?    Pornography?

Substance Abuse?

You name it…get help!

6. Have God at the center

From God we learn the marriage skills of:

Kindness   Forgiveness

Unconditional Love  Faithfulness

God will help us!

 Buy Me A Rose Lyrics
 He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants…A three car garage, her own credit cards. He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night. If he could only read her mind, she’d say:

Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone, And she can’t  help but wonder what she’s doing wrong. Cause lately she’d try anything to turn his head. Would it make a difference if she said:

Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt; Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.

And the more that he lives the less that he tries To show her the love that he holds inside.
And the more that she gives the more that he sees…This is a story of you and me

So I bought you a rose on the way home from work, To open the door to a heart that I hurt. And I hope you notice this look in my eyes Cause I’m gonna make things right For the rest of your life. I’m gonna hold you tonight. Do all those little things …For the rest of your life.