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About Gary Davenport

Christian man, husband, father, father-in-law, and granddaddy

God’s Person in an Upside-Down World’: — The Be-attitudes Series: #3 ‘Reacting Responsibly’


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 We are studying the keys to real happiness in the form of beatitudes—attitudes of the heart. And they really do run against the grain of our modern culture.

The most misunderstood beatitude that we have is the first one before us this morning. Matthew 5:5 says, “Blessed (or happy) are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

A study of its usage in Scripture reveals that it is linked with and cannot be separated from lowliness: “Learn of Me: for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29).

Second, it is associated with and cannot be divorced from gentleness: “I beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:1).

Third, the Divine promise is “the meek will He guide in judgment, and the meek will He teach His way” (Ps. 25:9), intimating that this grace consists of a pliant heart and will.

Meekness is the opposite of self-will toward God, and of ill-will toward men.

Meekness is a fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5 gives several fruit of the Spirit: Peace, patience, kindness…one of them is gentleness. This is the same Greek word that Matthew translates as meekness.

“The meek are those who quietly submit themselves before God, to His Word, to His rod, who follow His directions and comply with His designs, and are gentle toward men” (Matthew Henry).

Aristotle, speaking of the ancient Greeks, listen to what he said about meek. “A meek man is angry on the right ground and against the right persons and in the right manner and at the right moment and for the right length of time.”

Our modern culture thinks and equates meekness with weakness. And people today crave power and strength and authority.

Meekness or gentleness…it’s not something that I can muster of my own power, of my own ability, it’s got to come from God, or it’s not going to come from me at all. And this word really is a word that was used to describe a wild animal that had been tamed or had been domesticated.

I want you to imagine a wild stallion. No one has ever ridden him. Bridle and bit have never been put upon him. He’s wild. He’s full of energy and strength and spirit. Now you take that horse and you tame him, you domesticate him. He becomes meek. You can put a saddle on him. His master can ride him, you can put a bit in his mouth and reins over his neck and he’s meek.

The only difference is, now that horse’s strength and energy, that horse’s life force are being controlled by his master and channeled for useful purposes.

Jesus is saying happy is that person who has all of his strength, all of his spirit, or all of her personality or energy, but they’ve allowed someone else to master them and to control them.

When we are meek…we’re no longer at the mercy of our own passion….at the mercy or the whim of our emotions or our anger or our temper. You can take an insult without giving one back. You can turn the other cheek but because you’re stable and because you’re strong in the Lord.

You’re happy because you’re free from bitterness, and you’re not easily provoked to anger. You don’t have to resort to revenge. You’re God-controlled, you’ve allowed his Spirit to direct your spirit.

When Jesus saw the merchants in the Temple, he was angry. They were making a mockery of the place of worship. And he made himself a weapon, and he drove them out. When Jesus denounced the Pharisees for their hypocrisy, he was angry.

But our Lord said of himself, “I am meek and lowly in heart.” He was angry at the right time. Near the end of Jesus’ life when he was beaten, when he was ridiculed and spat upon and crucified, he remained meek and compliant. Do you think he acted that way out of weakness? No. He acted that way out of the strength that he received from his Father.

Jesus gives us a great picture of this …look down at verse 38.Jesus says, ‘”You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.'”

Meek inherit the earth—proud send souls to hell. Matthew 23:15 (ESV) Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

A proselyte is a convert to a cause. The Pharisees were out to win others to their legalistic system, yet they could not introduce these people to the living God. Instead of saving souls, the Pharisees were condemning souls!

A “child of hell” is the equivalent of “child of the devil,” which is what Jesus called the Pharisees (Matt. 12:34; 23:33; John 8:44). A “child of the devil” is a person who has rejected God’s way of salvation (righteousness through faith in Christ).

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2015 in Sermon

 

The best is yet to come


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Free book from Gary: The Measure of One’s Life book

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1966865_3587262-plwfr2_lA minister was asked to pay a visit to one of the elderly members, who was concerned about the amount of time she had left upon this earth and wanted to make some preliminary funeral arrangements with him.

He was surprised, because she was not really sick that often, but he agreed.

After getting a list of her the favorite songs she wanted sung at her funeral, and some general comments and other important scriptures, thoughts, and poems, she closed with a surprising request: make certain to put this special spoon in the casket as the service ends…and she hands him a large special dessert spoon she had always used in her life.

After a few quiet moments, he just had to ask: what is the significance of this spoon?

Well, she began, when I was young they always began clearing the table of the dirty dishes at those special family meals…but always told us to keep the spoon, because the best was yet to come.spoon

Then, they would deliver large bowls of ice cream, which IS the best thing a child can ask for in this life.

But for a Christian, heaven is “the best yet to come” and I want that spoon in the casket to make that point to all my family and friends.

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2015 in Encouragement

 

God’s Person in an Upside-Down World” — The Be-attitudes Series #2 “How Sadness Becomes Happiness”


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Gary’s blog: http://www.tjsman.wordpress.com;

As we said last week that if you really look at them as a whole, what Jesus is trying to get across in the Beatitudes is this, that our happiness is not a product of circumstances, it’s a product of our attitudes.

beatitudes-list-right-alignedAnd while most of the world buys into the “when and then” philosophy, you know, “When I get this…” or “When that changes…” or “When this happens, then I’ll be happy.” Jesus says, “No, it doesn’t work that way.” Your happiness is not a product of circumstances. Your happiness does not depend upon what’s happening around you, it depends upon what’s happening in you. It’s a series of attitudes.

Let’s look at the second beatitude. Found in verse 4 of Matthew 5, it simply said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Mourning is hateful and irksome to poor human nature. From suffering and sadness our spirits instinctively shrink. By nature we seek the society of the cheerful and joyous.

 The Greek word for to mourn, used here, is the strongest word for mourning in the Greek language. It is the word which is used for mourning for the dead, for the passionate lament for one who was loved.  

In the Septuagint, the Greek version of the Old Testament, it is the word which is used of Jacob’s grief when he believed that Joseph, his son, was dead (Genesis 37:34).

It is defined as the kind of grief which takes such a hold on a man that it cannot be hid. It is not only the sorrow which brings an ache to the heart; it is the sorrow which brings an ache to the heart; it is the sorrow which brings the unrestrainable tears to the eyes.

Now the first part of that really makes no sense. Happy are those who mourn? Happy are those who grieve? Happy are those who are expressing sorrow? That’s nonsensical, until you read the last part of the verse, “for they will be comforted.”

How can I be happy when I’m mourning? How can I be happy when I’m grieving? How can I be happy when I’ve experienced a great pain or loss? By receiving the comfort of God.

Now before we look at that comfort and how you receive it, I’ve got to give you a warning that’s straight from Scripture. Not all mourning is going to receive the comfort of God.

In II Corinthians 7:10, Paul says this. “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

Did you hear that? There’s a godly sorrow and there’s a worldly sorrow, and the worldly sorrow we need not expect any comfort for that. You say, well what are you talking about? What do you mean worldly sorrow?

  1. Pessimism.

The world is full of people who can’t see the good in anything. They can’t see the good in anybody. They live in kind of a state of perpetual mourning. Somebody said, “You can’t have rosy thoughts about your future when your mind is filled with blues from the past.” That’s a pessimist. And that person, he or she just mourns all the time. God promises no comfort for that. That is contrary to his will.  

  1. There’s a second kind of worldly sorrow caused by discontentment.

Our society is geared for constant competitiveness and the urge to keep up with the Joneses. Madison Avenue advertising companies specialize in making us feel disenchanted. They create itches that we need to scratch and yet their real job is to create an itch that we never can adequately scratch.

There’s a kind of mourning that goes with discontentment and our Lord won’t comfort that kind of mourning. Instead, he warns against it. Luke 12:15, Jesus said, “‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.'”

I Timothy 6:7: “We brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. And he says in verse 8, “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”

  1. Punishment and the consequences of wrongdoing.

A thief may mourn over time that he’s spending in jail, only to be planning his next theft. Do you see what I’m getting at? He’s not grieving over his sin, he’s grieving over getting caught. Now that’s a worldly grief. And all of those things, God says, “Look, those things lead to death. Don’t think I’m going to come down and just take that kind of mourning away. I will not.”

But that same verse says, “There is a godly sorrow which God will comfort.” And this is a mourning that we experience when we hurt and when we have heartaches from the suffering that floods this world.

Suffering that brings pain and that brings death, suffering we have no control over, that we didn’t bring about, but we’re all victims of it.

There are three ways in which this beatitude can be taken.

(i) It can be taken quite literally: Blessed is the man who has endured the bitterest sorrow that life can bring. The Arabs have a proverb: “All sunshine makes a desert.” The land on which the sun always shines will soon become an arid place in which no fruit will grow. There are certain things which only the rains will produce; and certain experiences which only sorrow can beget.

Sorrow can do two things for us. it can show us, as nothing else can, the essential kindness of our fellow-men; and it can show us as nothing else can the comfort and the compassion of God. Many and many a man in the hour of his sorrow has discovered his fellow-men and his God as he never did before. When things go well it is possible to live for years on the surface of things; but when sorrow comes a man is driven to the deep things of life, and, if he accepts it aright, a new strength and beauty enter into his soul.

“I walked a mile with Pleasure, She chattered all the way,

But left me none the wiser For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow, And ne’er a word said she,

But, oh, the things I learned from her When Sorrow walked with me!”

(ii) Some people have taken this beatitude to mean:

Blessed are those who are desperately sorry for the sorrow and the suffering of this world.

When we were thinking of the first beatitude we saw that is it always right to be detached from things, but it is never right to be detached from people. This world would have been a very much poorer place, if there had not been those who cared intensely about the sorrows and the sufferings of others.

Christianity is caring. This beatitude does mean: Blessed is the man who cares intensely for the sufferings, and for the sorrows, and for the needs of others.

(iii) No doubt both these thoughts are in this beatitude, but its main thought undoubtedly is: Blessed is the man who is desperately sorry for his own sin and his own unworthiness.

“It is mourning over the felt destitution of our spiritual state, and over the iniquities that have separated us and God; mourning over the very morality in which we have boasted, and the self-righteousness in which we have trusted; sorrow for rebellion against God, and hostility to His will; and such mourning always goes side by side with conscious poverty of spirit.”

As we have seen, the very first word of the message of Jesus was, “Repent!” No man can repent unless he is sorry for his sins. The thing which really changes men is when they suddenly come up against something which opens their eyes to what sin is and to what sin does.

A boy or a girl may go his or her own way, and may never think of effects and consequences; and then some day something happens and that boy or girl sees the stricken look in a father’’ or a mother’s eye’s; and suddenly sin is seen for what it is.

That is what the Cross does for us. As we look at the Cross, we are bound to say, “That is what sin can do. Sin can take the loveliest life in all the world and smash it on a Cross.”

One of the great functions of the Cross is to open the eyes of men and women to the horror of sin. And when a man sees sin in all its horror he cannot do anything else but experience intense sorrow for his sin.

Christianity begins with a sense of sin. Blessed is the man who is intensely sorry for his sin, the man who is heart-broken for what his sin has done to God and to Jesus Christ, the man who sees the Cross and who is appalled by the havoc wrought by sin.

It is the man who has that experience who will indeed be comforted; for the experience is what we call penitence, and the broken and the contrite heart God will never despise (Psalm 51:17). The way to the joy of forgiveness is through the desperate sorrow of the broken heart.

God is going to comfort people who go through that and that’s all of us. Godly grief is also the mourning that we do over our own sins, not the getting caught, but the sin itself.

God says, “If you’ll mourn over your own sin, I’ll come and comfort your heart.” And godly grief is also the sadness that we share for others in their loss. He said, “I’ll bless that if you hurt with other people. I’ll come and take that sorrow away.”

Here, then, are the first birthmarks of the children of God. He who has never come to be poor in spirit and has never known what it is to really mourn for sin has neither seen nor entered the Kingdom of God. How thankful the Christian reader ought to be that the great God condescends to dwell in the humble and contrite heart!

Now today and tomorrow, when you experience that kind of grief and that kind of mourning, sorrow that is left unattended will literally rob you of your happiness, how do you apply this beatitude? And how do you claim this promise?

If you really want to be happy in this world, you’ll not be happy by just avoiding sadness because you can’t. We’re all going to mourn, we’re all going to grieve, how do I get through that by the power of God so that I’m happy way yonder more than I’m sad?

Three simple steps, write them down.

  1. Number one, realize God is with you.

You know when we’re hurting, we tend to forget where God is. We think he’s distant that he is far away. Look at Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” When you’re mourning, when you’re in pain, remember three simple things: God is aware, God cares, and God is there. Just those three simple things. God is aware, he cares, and he’s there.

God is aware. Job said, “You keep a close watch on all my paths. There are many, many of you who have come today and you’re in pain, but I want you to know something, God is watching over you. Nothing escapes his eyes. The Bible says, not just the number of hairs on your hair are numbered, the Bible says, even your tears are numbered. I’ve heard people say hundreds of times, nobody knows what I’m going through. That may be right if you’re talking about somebody else in the flesh, but somebody knows what you’re going through. God is keenly aware of everything you’re going through.

  1. He is not only aware, number two, he cares.

Look at the little book of Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,” God’s not only aware, he cares, your pain matters to God.

  1. Number three, he’s there.

That’s the best thing of all. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

I thank God that he doesn’t just offer awareness and sympathy, he offers help when you hurt. He’s not powerless like you and I feel in times of mourning. He doesn’t just write a note like I do that says, “I’m thinking about you in this time of need.” God says, “I’m not just thinking about you, I’m right there and my hand is reaching down to help you.”

Isaiah 43:2, our God says, “‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. And when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God,…'”

God says when you’re mourning, I want to come and build you up with my strength. I want to fortify you. I want to stand beside you.

  1. So the first step in being comforted, being happy when you’re sad, is to realize God’s presence.

Now having said that, have you ever noticed there are some people who grow in their pain and there are other people who get stuck there? Why is that? I think more than any other reason, it’s because they fail to apply step two.

  1. Release the hurt.

Somebody says, “I’m in pain.” Let it go. How do you let it go? Here’s the key thing, you stop focusing on what’s lost and start focusing on what’s left. After your loss, after your tragedy, after your pain, start focusing on what’s lost and start focusing on what’s left.

The whole idea here is to quit looking backward and start looking forward.

Isaiah 43:18 says, “‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.'”

Philippians 3:13, Paul says, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…” And it goes on to say the goal is the prize of the heavenward call of Christ Jesus.

The Bible says your past is your past, let it go. It doesn’t need to hurt you anymore. Some of you are letting memories of people who have hurt you in the past, hurt you right now. I don’t want to be cruel, but I want to be honest. That’s dumb.

If they’ve hurt you in the past, and you’re letting the memory hurt you now, all you are doing is letting them hurt you twice. Don’t let the pains of the past control you. Don’t let the guilt of your past strangle you. If you want the comfort of God, release your hurt. That power is within you.

See there are choices about what to do with the hurts and the pains and the grief sources of the past. Here are some things different folks do at different times, they are on your outline.

You can repress those hurts.

You know you can just push them down. You can swallow them, try to keep them way down deep inside. But I’ve said many times, if you swallow your feelings, your stomach keeps score. There are so many thousands and thousands of Christians right now who are walking wounded, and they are walking wounded because they have repressed their hurt. They’ve never dealt with them, they’ve never even admitted them, they just keep them deep.

You can rehearse them.

Just keep rehearsing the pain. Have you ever seen somebody who just won’t let it go? They keep bringing it up in their mind and going over and over and over. And some of them they do it verbally. That’s all they’ll tell you about. “Oh, I’ll never get over this…” “Oh, I’ll never…” They torture themselves by rethinking about it over and over. But God says don’t dwell on the past.

Folks, there is a big difference between mourning and moaning. A big difference—A big difference between mourning and moaning. Mourning is legitimate grief. There are times for bona fide sadness. And when you go through that, God wants to comfort that; but moaning is self pity. And if you’re moaning, you’re doing it honestly because you want to. You just kind of want to hold on to that hurt because that’s your attention-getter. That may be the only way you think you’re getting self esteem that’s tearing you up.

Resent those things.

I guess that’s the greatest tendency of all. We tend to resent what we believe to be the cause of our pain. If that’s another person, we tend to resent them. If it’s our job, we tend to resent it. If we can’t blame it on a specific person, place, or thing, then often God is resented for just letting it happen. The problem with resentment is, it hurts you more than the person you resent.

If you really want to handle your hurt, rightly, then the fourth choice is the best, re-channel them.

Don’t repress them, don’t rehearse them, don’t resent them—re-channel them. Use the energy that you would use repressing, rehearsing, resenting, turn it constructively outward instead of destructively inward.

Do you know who my model is for this—straight from the Bible? The apostle Paul. You talk about, can you imagine the pain and the guilt of knowing if you were Paul that you were the most destructive force on the early church. Read Acts 8:1, it says Paul was the ringleader. He was the one that was seeking to destroy it. And yet he was the very man who wrote what I read to a moment ago from Philippians, “Forgetting what lies behind, I press on…”

Do you know what he did? He didn’t repress his guilt, he didn’t rehearse his guilt, he didn’t resent his guilt, he re-channeled it. He said, “I could lie around all day on the couch and feel guilty, guilty, guilty, then I could do nothing or I could take that and say, “No God, I’ve learned and I’m going to re-channel this for your glory.” People, that’s not hypocrisy, God honors that. He honors that, and he blesses that, and he comforts you when you do that.

  1. The way God will comfort me is by relying on God’s resources.

When you’re mourning and when you’re hurting, people try all kinds of things. Some get drunk, some pop pills, some watch t.v. all day long, some escape in novels, or just 1,001 things, all trying to dull the pain. God says, “No, no, those don’t work.” There are escapes, diversions, but they’re all dead-ends, they bring you right back to where you were. But God has got some resources you can tap into that really will bring you the comfort and lead you through your mourning. Here they are.

The first resource: God’s word.

Look at Psalm 119:25, here’s what that verse says, “I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word.” A few verses later, verse 62, David says, “I remember your ancient laws O Lord, and I find comfort in them.”

But the second resource God wants to use to comfort you is his people. That’s why he designed his church. See we weren’t made to be individually isolated or islands unto ourselves. There’s no such thing as a “lone ranger” Christian. We need each other. We’re supposed to be a family. We’re a God-given resource to provide comfort.

I love II Corinthians 1:3,4, here’s what it says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,” look at this, “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

I mean that says just in black and white, the function of comforting and encouraging one another is just as important a function of the church as worship is. That’s the reason God comforts us. One of the keys, he said, “I comfort you so you can be conduit, so that you’ll go out and comfort other people who are also hurting.”

One minister tells this story:

Years ago, I talked to a man who had been worshipping for two years at a congregation, a big church. And after worshipping for two years, he became ill with cancer, went through a couple of hospital stays and was diagnosed as being terminal. Then going to see him on one occasion, he was bitter. He said it just seems like nobody cares, nobody cared at all. And I wasn’t trying to trap him, it was just an honest question. I said, “Well tell me, who are some of your closest friends in church?” Do you realize that after being there for two years, he couldn’t name the name of one person, not one person that he would have listed as a dear friend.

Folks, the Bible says that we are to comfort one another. That’s why small groups, support groups, care groups, whatever it takes are beneficial so that we can pass along the comfort of God. It’s not that you have to give advice, it’s not that you have to have all the answers, it’s just by saying I’ve been there and I hurt with you.

And then finally, God uses his Spirit to comfort us. When Jesus was here physically, knowing he was going to a cross, he made a promise, John 14:26, he said, “But the Counselor,” (the King James Version says the Comforter) “the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

Then he said, “My peace I leave with you;…” That was a promise to the apostles, but the Bible says that promise of the comfort from the Spirit is still applicable.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Mourners comforted—destroyers condemned (v. 14; 5:4).

While this verse is not in some manuscripts of Matthew, it is found in Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47. Instead of mourning over their own sins, and mourning with needy widows, the Pharisees took advantage of people in order to rob them. They used their religion as a “cloak of covetousness” (1 Thes. 2:5).

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2015 in Article

 

Why it’s difficult for some spouses to apologize


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Is it difficult for your spouse to apologize and tell you that he (or she) is sorry? Or is it hard for you to offer an apology?

Some individuals can say “I’m sorry” easily while others can’t ever seem to choke the words out. When a spouse is reluctant to apologize, the partner inevitably ends up carrying emotional baggage from the resulting hurt feelings, resentment, and anger.

It’s often easier to offer an apology to a total stranger or a casual acquaintance than it is to a spouse. Usually, in those cases, whatever we have done—temporarily blocked the aisle with our shopping cart at the grocery store or bumped into someone in a hallway—was done unintentionally.

There’s normally not any feeling that one person did something to the other in a personal way. Instead, it feels like an accident, a momentarily distraction, or a misjudgment of visual space.

But when things happen between two spouses, an oversight or mistake can take on more personal tones and meaning. A spouse may harbor strong feelings that whatever occurred was deliberate and intentional.

When intense feelings are triggered and the emotional climate becomes either icy or raging, the offending spouse may retreat, not knowing what else to do. Or he (or she) may be afraid of doing the wrong thing and making the situation worse.

Some spouses view apologizing as a sign of weakness that brings about a loss of power and status. A spouse with this perspective may equate apologizing with admitting inadequacy and incompetence, and thus be reluctant to apologize for mistakes, failures, or misjudgments.

To others, it’s humiliating to have to apologize. They may have been ridiculed and criticized harshly by their parents when they made mistakes growing up, and as a result, they try to avoid admitting to mistakes and the unpleasant feeling that brings.

Accepting responsibility for personal actions and decisions is challenging for some spouses. They operate in denial, as though by not admitting fault they haven’t done anything “wrong.” It’s almost as though they are afraid of owning any inappropriate behaviors because then they might have to also take responsibility for other actions. So it’s just easier to avoid and deny than to admit responsibility and apologize.

If a spouse views apologizing as “all or nothing”—that the person who is “wrong” has to ask for forgiveness from the one who is “right”—that can also make the task more daunting. So can viewing the person who apologizes as the “loser” in an argument or dispute, while the one accepting the apology is the “winner.”

What Can You Do if It’s Hard for Your Spouse to Apologize?

The following five tips offer specific actions that you can take:

  1. Become comfortable with saying, “I’m so sorry for my part in what happened between us” or ‘I’m so sorry for my part in the misunderstanding.” That acknowledges two people are involved in what happens in relationship interactions and makes it less threatening for each to accept personal responsibility.
  2. If your partner refuses to make an apology for behavior that deeply hurt you, ask her (or him) if she at least regrets what happened. Some spouses will find it easier to say “I really regret what happened at the party” than “I’m really sorry for my behavior at the party.”
  3. Practice being the kind of partner that you wish you had. Apologize readily and model healthy behavior for your spouse. Be open about your feelings when it’s hard to apologize. Say, “I don’t know why it’s so hard to apologize sometimes—but it is. This isn’t easy for me to say because I’d rather blame you than look at myself, but I am truly sorry for the things I said last night.” You can’t control what your spouse decides to do or not to do, so focus on what you do have control over—your own reactions and behavior.
  4. Write your spouse a handwritten letter (pen and paper—no emails) sharing your feelings and say that in order to move on, you really need some sort of acknowledgement of your feelings and the hurt you have experienced. State that it’s important for you to know your partner cares about your feelings enough to apologize or admit regret for what happened.
  5. Remember that if your spouse can’t apologize to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean your spouse doesn’t love you. In some cases, it can indicate a callousness and indifference to the partner’s feelings. But in other cases, it can indicate a lack of relationship skills or unresolved individual issues.

Your best strategy may be to see if your partner will agree to some marriage counseling sessions to improve communication and intimacy. Then, address the issue in the counselor’s office where your chances of being heard and opening the door for positive change are greatly increased. (By Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.)

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2015 in Marriage

 

An author’s background


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I am sometimes asked…”What is the particular religious persuasion reflected by the lessons on this homepage.

clear-vision-4581472These studies try to reflect a non-sectarian approach to the Bible, with a desire only to let the Scriptures speak for themselves. They are simply the results of my own personal studies of God’s Word, and are offered with a plea for you to apply “The Berean Test” (Acts 17:11) as you examine the studies.

As for me personally, I am simply a Christian, a disciple of Jesus Christ, and a member of the Lord’s body, the church, as one reads about in the New Testament. In view of our Lord’s prayer for unity (John 17:20-21), and Paul’s condemnation of division (1 Co 1:10-13), I dislike denominational distinctions and all forms of sectarianism.

I have been blessed to serve as a minister of the gospel of Christ for over 34+ years, having worked with churches made up of individuals  who are likewise trying to be simply Christians. Using the New Testament as their authority in matters pertaining to the work, worship, and organization of the local church, they are independent, self-governing churches, and totally non-denominational.

We have no written creed (other than the Bible), and constantly engage in Bible study (not creed rehearsal), fine-tuning our understanding and practice to what we learn from the Scriptures.

Frequently referred to as “churches of Christ” (Romans 16:16 ), they are not to be confused with any denomination that might be known as the “Church of Christ” (especially those that identify themselves as the “International Church of Christ,” or formerly the “Boston Church of Christ”).

DSC_0040With the religiously divided state of our society, I know many may find it hard to believe that you can be “a Christian only”. It is not easy, but I believe it is possible and from the Lord’s viewpoint, desirable. Therefore I often say that I am neither Jewish, Catholic, or Protestant; I am a Christian! And I am not a Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, or member of any cult that believes in latter day revelations.

I believe that God has spoken fully and completely through His Son Jesus Christ and His apostles and prophets whose words are contained in the Bible. These studies reflect this belief…

I hope this helps to answer any questions you may have. — Gary Davenport

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2015 in Doctrine

 

The Problem of Suffering in the World


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 Gary’s blog: http://www.tjsman.wordpress.com;

Free book from Gary: The Measure of One’s Life book

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Axioms we have heard:

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

“When the world gives you a lemon, make lemonade.”

“If God sends us on stony paths, he provides strong shoes.” — Corrie Ten Boom.

“Great crises produce great men and great deeds of courage” —-John F. Kennedy, Profiles in Courage

sufferingYou know it’s going to be a bad day when:

* You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

* You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.

* Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

* Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

Let’s make it clear: we’re NOT talking about “a bad day” when we hear some of the pleas offered in the midst of pain and suffering. While it is true that a crisis helps to make a person, it is also true that a crisis helps to reveal what a person is made of.

Life is filled with a variety of difficulties (Job 14:1-2)

“”Man born of woman is of few days and full of trouble. {2} He springs up like a flower and withers away; like a fleeting shadow, he does not endure.”….but God’s grace is sufficient (see “manifold” or “poikilos” in 1 Peter 1:6 and 4:10).

All we need to think of is Joseph, David, Daniel, Elijah, and Stephen. Jesus told us they would come:

(John 16:1-3) “”All this I have told you so that you will not go astray. {2} They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. {3} They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me…. (32) “”But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. {33} “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””

Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:12 : “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”

We occasionally sing a song which offers some powerful words for us:

“Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish Come to the Mercyseat, fervently kneel. Here bring your wounded heart, here tell your anguish; Earth has no sorrow that Heav’n cannot heal.”

Paul reminds us in 1 Cor. 10:13 that God will limit their impact upon us. They cannot make our service to God in vain: (1 Cor 15:58) “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

(2 Tim 4:6-8) “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. {7} I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. {8} Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day–and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

suffer-for-christ-e1344552240663“Are you going through a hard time? Maybe these words from a song called The Fire will help get us through them: “I’ve been through a fire that has deepened my desire, to know the living God more and more. It hasn’t been much fun, but the work that it has done in my life has been worth the hurt. You see sometimes we need the hard times to bring us to our knees, otherwise we do as we please and never heed him. For he always knows what’s best and it’s when we are distressed that we really come to know God as he is.”

There are things man cannot know…God knows all (chapters 38-41). We MUST avoid the warning of Job 40:8!

(Job 38:2) “”Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?”

(Job 40:8) “”Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?”

We know that sin and suffering are not linked; they are not proof of sin or guilt (reminded of Luke 13:1-5). Let those circumstances bring you to repentance. We will suffer (like many other Christians) when it is not deserved.

“The Sequoia trees of California tower as much as 300 feet above the ground. Strangely, these giants have unusually shallow root systems that reach out in all directions to capture the greatest amount of surface moisture. Seldom will you see a redwood standing alone, because high winds would quickly uproot it. That’s why they grow in clusters. Their intertwining roots provide support for one another against the storms.

“Suffering comes to all of us, and no one can suffer for us. Even so, just like those giant Sequoia trees, we can be supported in those difficult times by the prayers and understanding of loved ones and friends. It’s when we are too proud to admit our needs to others that we are in the greatest danger.”

We can benefit from the process.Hard times keep this world from becoming too attractive.

“Our citizenship is in heaven…we’re pilgrims passing through this life and we don’t need to let our roots get too deep.”

Suffering brings out our best and allows to development deep bonds.

Those we count as our closest and dearest friends are those who have gone through hard times in life with us.

Suffering makes us appreciative.

Words of ‘cheerful’ minister despite a hard time in his life: “I make the right use of my eyes. I look up to Heaven and realize that is where I am going. Next, I look down upon the earth and realize how small a place I shall occupy when I am dead and buried. Finally, I look around and see the many who are in some respects much worse than I am. This brings me to three conclusions: First, I learn where true happiness lies; Second, I realize where all our cares end; third, I realize how little reason I have to complain.”

God’s attributes can be displayed: (2 Cor 12:9-10) “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. {10} That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We can develop a valuable attribute: (Phil 4:11-12) “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. {12} I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

What did Jesus learn from his suffering? (Heb 5:8-9) “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered {9} and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him”

* Story of the man who helped a crysalis burst through the cocoon…didn’t have the strength needed to fly.

It will provide opportunities to make us sympathetic and to reach out to others: 2 Cor 1:3-6: that ‘comfort circle’ we’ve discussed before.

It will force us to depend upon God and to give thanks in all things. (Prov 3:5-6) “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; {6} in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

(2 Cor 1:8-11) “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. {9} Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. {10} He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, {11} as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.”

Teaches us to pray and that prayer works when nothing else will.

Use the events to glorify God (story of man born blind which Jesus used to glorify God…John 9:1-5).

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things, I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy, I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life, I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for — but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all men, most richly blessed.” ¨ From Max Cleland, Strong at the Broken Places.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2015 in counsel

 

Do we love the Lord more?


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Do We Love the Lord More?

“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs” (John 21:15).

12_12_9.015Do We Love the Lord More Than Our Kinsmen?

If we do, we will not let them keep us from obeying the gospel. We will be willing to leave the religion they have accepted if it is proven wrong. We will not let them keep us from attending the services of the Lord’s church. Remember, Jesus said, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).

Do We Love the Lord More Than Money?

If we do, we will not make the heaping of riches the chief object of our living. We will give liberally of our means to the Lord (2 Corinthians 8:1–5). Remember, the Lord said, “For the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10).

Do We Love the Lord More Than Pleasure?

If we do, we will not engage in that which is forbidden, that which will hurt our influence for Christ. Remember, the Lord, in speaking of perilous times, said men shall be “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:1–4).

Do We Love the Lord More Than Praise of Men?

If we do, we will be willing to stand for the Lord and the right, though we must stand alone (2 Timothy 4:16–17). The chief rulers “did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God” (John 12:42–43).

The Lord should be the supreme object of our affection (Matthew 22:37). May we learn to sing, and mean it, “More love to thee, O Christ, more love to Thee.”

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2015 in Encouragement

 

“God’s Person in an Upside-Down World” — The Be-attitudes Series #1 “The Poor in Spirit”


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Turn in your Bibles to Matthew 5 where we’ll camp for the rest of our time together. We’re going to see what Jesus says about happiness. I’ll tell you right now that he says your happiness doesn’t depend on your circumstances, it depends on your attitudes.

In Matthew 5 we have the opening lines of Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount, and that sermon begins with eight positive statements about happiness that we’ve come to call the Beatitudes.poor-in-spirit-3

The Sermon on the Mount is one of the most misunderstood messages that Jesus ever gave. One group says it is God’s plan of salvation, that if we ever hope to go to heaven we must obey these rules. Another group calls it a “charter for world peace” and begs the nations of the earth to accept it.

I have always felt that Matthew 5:20 was the key to this important sermon: “For I say unto you, that except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.” The main theme is true righteousness.

The religious leaders had an artificial, external righteousness based on Law. But the righteousness Jesus described is a true and vital righteousness that begins internally, in the heart. The Pharisees were concerned about the minute details of conduct, but they neglected the major matter of character. Conduct flows out of character.

Now it’s interesting to me that of all the subjects that Jesus could have picked to start the greatest, most famous sermon of all time, he chose to speak on, “How to Be Happy.”

Isn’t that fascinating? Do you know why? Because he knew that is what everybody wants and what so few people find. So for the next eight weeks we’re going to look at those eight beatitudes in our series, “How to Really Be Happy.”

Being a master Teacher, our Lord did not begin this important sermon with a negative criticism of the scribes and Pharisees. He began with a positive emphasis on righteous character and the blessings that it brings to the life of the believer. The Pharisees taught that righteousness was an external thing, a matter of obeying rules and regulations. Righteousness could be measured by praying, giving, fasting, etc. In the Beatitudes and the pictures of the believer, Jesus described Christian character that flowed from within.

Here’s what it says:

  1. “Happy are the poor in Spirit.”
  2. “Happy are those who mourn.”
  3. “Happy are the meek.”
  4. “Happy are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness.”
  5. “Happy are the merciful.”
  6. “Happy are the pure in heart.”
  7. “Happy are the peacemakers.”
  8. “Happy are those who are persecuted because of righteousness.”

Now tell the truth. As I went down that list, that sounded like a whole series of contradictions, didn’t it? I mean tell the truth. “HAPPY are the poor in spirit?” “HAPPY are those who mourn?” “HAPPY are those who are persecuted?”

WHAT? It doesn’t sound like happiness to me. Let’s spend eight weeks on it and see if you don’t have a different outlook. But, I’ll tell you, even from that one casual reading we just made of the eight beatitudes, one thing ought to be abundantly clear to you. Jesus didn’t make the mistake Solomon made. He says clearly, you can be happy in spite of your circumstances.

  •          If you’re going to have to have all your problems solved before you’re going to be happy, will you ever be happy? NO.
  •          If you’re going to have to have everything perfect in your life before you’re going to be happy, will you ever be happy? NO.
  •          So Jesus says I want to teach you that happiness doesn’t depend on having the right circumstances, it depends on having the right attitudes.
  •          In other words, “My happiness is not determined by what’s happening to me, but what’s happening in me.” Do you get that? “My happiness is not determined by what’s happening to me, but by what’s happening in me.”
  •          Jesus says it’s not how much we have that makes us happy, it’s what we are that makes us happy.
  •          It doesn’t depend upon the circumstances outside, it depends upon the attitude inside.
  •          What Jesus is getting at then is that happiness is a choice. You choose it as you choose the right attitudes.

Mark Twain over 100 years ago had a great statement. He said, “Do you know what happens to most people over life?…About the same things.”

Now think about that. Isn’t that good? That’s true. If you live long enough, do you know what happens to most people over life? About the same things.

We all cry, we all laugh, we all smile, we all frown, we all hurt, we all have pleasure. You know if you live long enough about the same things happen. And Mark Twain concluded, he says then most people are about as happy as they choose to be. And he’s right, but that line wasn’t unique to him. He borrowed it from Jesus 1,900 years earlier.

  •          This series is not to sugar-coat anything.
  •          Hear me, life is tough. I mean it can be a bear.
  •          Preachers even go through “Bear” periods during life. It can be hard.
  •          There are a lot of things that don’t go your way.
  •          You hurt and you cry, does that mean you cannot be happy? Absolutely not.
  •          Your happiness depends upon the right attitudes.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit.” What is poverty of spirit? It is the opposite of that haughty, self-assertive, and self-sufficient disposition that the world so much admires and praises. It is the very reverse of that independent and defiant attitude that refuses to bow to God, that determines to brave things out, and that says with Pharaoh, “Who is the Lord, that I should obey His voice?” (Ex. 5:2).

To be poor in spirit is to realize that I have nothing, am nothing, and can do nothing, and have need of all things. Poverty of spirit is evident in a person when he is brought into the dust before God to acknowledge his utter helplessness. It is the first experiential evidence of a Divine work of grace within the soul, and corresponds to the initial awakening of the prodigal in the far country when he “began to be in want” (Luke 15:14).

To be poor in spirit means to be humble, to have a correct estimate of oneself (Rom. 12:3). It does not mean to be “poor spirited” and have no backbone at all! “Poor in spirit” is the opposite of the world’s attitudes of self-praise and self-assertion. It is not a false humility that says, “I am not worth anything, I can’t do anything!” It is honesty with ourselves: we know ourselves, accept ourselves, and try to be ourselves to the glory of God.

The first step to happiness, very simple, be humble. Verse 3 in Matthew 5 says, “Happy are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

  • Being poor in spirit doesn’t mean to have low self-esteem.
  • It doesn’t mean to walk around having some kind of inferiority complex.
  • You know walking around saying, “Oh, I’m no good. I’m just lousy. I’m just junk. I’m just trash.”
  • Jesus didn’t die for junk. God didn’t make trash in his own image.
  • You are infinitely valuable to God because you’re made in his image, and Jesus died on that cross redeeming you with his precious blood.
  • You weren’t paid for by silly stuff like silver and gold.

It simply means to depend on God. It means to be humble. It means admitting daily, I don’t have it altogether, because you don’t.

I know you come here in a suit and tie and a nice dress, but you don’t have it altogether. It means admitting that I haven’t arrived, that I’ve got more to learn, that God didn’t build the universe to revolve around me.

I think maybe the best way to get a picture of what being poor in Spirit is, is to tell you what the opposite is. It is the opposite of being arrogant. It’s the opposite of being prideful and egotistical. Jesus says if you’re full of pride, if you’re full of ego and arrogance, you’re never going to be really happy.

But the more you depend upon the God and the more that you’re humble, the more you open the door to happiness. I will tell you right now that humility and happiness are twins. They’re like bread and butter. They go together, you can’t have one without the other. If you want genuine happiness, you start by humbling yourself before God.

Three ways that humility will bring you happiness:

On the Mount in the section about worry that begins in Matthew 6:25, where he basically says, why do you fret about over what you’re going to eat, what you’re going to wear, and how long you’re going to live, and how many hairs you have? He says, why do you worry about all that when you’ve got a God who’s bigger than everything you can worry about?

Do you know how humility makes you happier? Here’s how.

  • When I’m humble, I don’t have to have all the answers.
  • When I’m humble, I realize I can resign as general manager of the universe.
  • When I’m humble, I don’t have to know the answer to every question.
  • When I’m humble, I don’t have to fake.
  • When I’m humble, I don’t have to pretend I’m perfect because I’m not, I’m just human.
  • When I’m humble, I can live in the tension between the ideal and the real.

Do you know what I’m talking about there? You know what I’m talking about because you have to do it.

I’ve got an ideal for all parts of my life, don’t you?

  • I mean I’ve got an ideal picture of how I’d like to do my job and all the things about me.
  • I’ve got an ideal picture about all of my habits that I wish I had.
  • I’ve got an ideal picture for my marriage, I mean you know just perfect, never a cross word.
  • I’ve got an ideal picture about my family and my children.
  • I’ve got ideal pictures about all those things, and then I’ve got the real.
  • And guess what? The real is never the ideal.
  • And the problem most people have is they think they’ll only be happy when the ideal comes along.
  • And it never, ever gets here.

Humility accepts the fact that things aren’t ideal, and yet I can still be happy because I’m depending upon an ideal God. He’s going to make everything all right. It’s not perfect until we get to heaven, but he’s going to make it all right. Humility reduces my stress because I don’t have to take myself that seriously.

Do you know what I think one of the biggest problems in the world is? This is my opinion, but I think one of the biggest problems in the world is that we take ourselves too seriously, and we don’t take God seriously enough. I think that’s the crux of the human problem.

We’re out there trying to do it all, impress people with who we are, and because we know who we really are underneath, there’s all this stress. But when I walk humbly, dependent upon God, the stress goes down and happiness goes up. That will make you happy.

Here’s the second way humility will make you happy, it will improve your relationships.

It will improve your relationships. Let me ask you a question. How many of you love to be around big-headed, egotistical people? How many of you love to do that? How many of you wake up on a Monday morning and say, “Man, I hope I can take an irritating, conceited jerk out to lunch today.” How many of you do that?

You know the fact is, prideful people are a pain to be around. Somebody says that pride is the only human disease that makes everybody else sick, that’s true, isn’t it? I mean egotists, they are irritating, and they wreck relationships. Do you know why they wreck relationships? Because self-centered people are never happy. And because they aren’t happy when they come into a relationship, they tend to drag everybody in that relationship down.

On the other hand, how many of you like to be around humble people? Don’t you just love that. Because they’re always lifting you up. Don’t you love to be around somebody who when you tell a little story, they don’t have to top it? “You mean your fish was how big, well let me tell you about this one.”

When you are humble, you get along better with others, not because you think less of yourself, but because you’re thinking more about others. And folks, this is a key to good, happy social living.

When you become more interested in others, you become more interesting to others. When you become more interested in others, you become more interesting to others. So you have better relationships when you’re humble. You’re not afraid to say, “Hey, I’m sorry. I messed up, I didn’t mean to. Forgive me, I’ll do better.”

If you walk humbly before the Lord, you’re almost immune to insults. It doesn’t mean that you don’t accept criticism, it’s just that you don’t take it so personally that you get all upset. Humility will improve your relationships. It will make you happy.

And then third as we close, and this is the best of all. How am I happy through humility? Humility unleashes God’s power.

This is the best one. It’s humility that unleashes God’s power. The Bible says the secret of spiritual power is to walk humbly before God. Let me read to you about three verses. Isaiah 66:2, God says through Isaiah, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”

James 4:6, James says, “God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.”

Same chapter, verse 10, James says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

I want to tell you this morning that if you are not humble before God, you’re cutting the cord through which he’s going to channel all of his power. When I read Luke 18 about that proud Pharisee who stood in the temple and prayed, “Lord, I thank you that I’m not like other men. I give all these tithes and I pray and I do this. And there’s this old sinner, this old publican down there,” and you can see between the lines. Umph, umph, like him?

That poor old sinner, that old publican was down on his knees and he wouldn’t lift his head, and he smote his breast, and all he said was, “Lord, be merciful to me a sinner.” And Jesus said, “I want to make sure you know which man walked out of there justified.”

And if you don’t get the point of that simple parable, it is simply this: If you’re not humble, your prayers are not answered. They’re not even heard. Is anybody going through a barren period with your prayer life? Check your humility before God. You won’t be forgiven if you’re not humble.

The man didn’t leave justified because he was full of arrogance. But that old publican who committed every sin in the book, he followed beatitude number one, and he was poor in spirit, and he said, “Lord, please be merciful to me, I’m a sinner.” And God said, “He walked out of there with his sins washed away.”

The secret of strength is admitting weakness. Paul said in II Corinthians 12:9, “Therefore I boast all the more gladly in my weakness so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

The King’s Denunciation — Matthew 23

This was our Lord’s last public message. It is a scathing denunciation of false religion that paraded under the guise of truth. Some of the common people no doubt were shocked at His words, for they considered the Pharisees to be righteous.

Perhaps we should remind ourselves that not all of the Pharisees were hypocrites. There were about 6,000 Pharisees in that day, with many more who were “followers” but not full members of the group. Most of the Pharisees were middle-class businessmen and no doubt they were sincere in their quest for truth and holiness. The name “Pharisees” came from a word that means “to separate.” The Pharisees were separated from the Gentiles, the “unclean” Jews who did not practice the Law (“publicans and sinners,” Luke 15:1-2), and from any who opposed the tradition that governed their lives.

Among the Pharisees were a few members who sought for true spiritual religion. Nicodemus (John 3; 7:50-53), Joseph of Arimathea (John 19:38ff), and the unnamed man mentioned in Mark 12:32-34, come to mind. Even Gamaliel showed a great deal of tolerance toward the newly formed church (Acts 5:34ff). But for the most part, the Pharisees used their religion to promote themselves and their material gain. No wonder Jesus denounced them.

They had a false concept of righteousness (vv. 2-3).

To begin with, they had assumed an authority not their own. “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in Moses’ seat” is the literal translation. There is no record in the Scriptures that God assigned any authority to this group. Their only authority was the Word of God. Therefore, the people were to obey whatever the Pharisees taught from the Word. But the people were not to obey the traditions and the man-made rules of the Pharisees.

 

To the Pharisee, righteousness meant outward conformity to the Law of God. They ignored the inward condition of the heart. Religion consisted in obeying numerous rules that governed every detail of life, including what you did with the spices in your cupboard (Matt. 23:23-24). The Pharisees were careful to say the right words and follow the right ceremonies, but they did not inwardly obey the Law. God desired truth in the inward parts (Ps. 51:6). To preach one thing and practice another is only hypocrisy

We must not read this series of denunciations with the idea that Jesus lost His temper and was bitterly angry. Certainly He was angry at their sins, and what those sins were doing to the people. But His attitude was one of painful sorrow that the Pharisees were blinded to God’s truth and to their own sins. Perhaps the best way to deal with these eight “woes” is to contrast them with the eight beatitudes found in Matthew 5:1-12. In the Sermon on the Mount the Lord described true righteousness; here He described a false righteousness.

Entering the kingdom Vs. shutting up the kingdom

Matthew 23:13 (NIV)
13  “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

Matthew 5:3 (NIV)
3  “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The poor in spirit enter the kingdom, but the proud in spirit keep themselves out and even keep others out. The Greek verb indicates people trying to get in who cannot. It is bad enough to keep yourself out of the kingdom, but worse when you stand in the way of others. By teaching man-made traditions instead of God’s truth, they “took away the key of knowledge” and closed the door to salvation (Luke 11:52).

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Sermon

 

Enemies of evangelism


 

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Ron Humphrey, in his book entitled, Hearts on Fire, noted a most sobering statistic: “The average member of the church of Christ has heard 4,000 sermons, sung 20,000 songs, participated in 8,000 public prayers and converted zero sinners.”  One cannot help but ask: What are we thinking? What are we doing? Where are we headed? More importantly, what can be done to correct such a pattern?

   Maintenance Mentality — With this in mind, consider, what Ron Humphrey calls the “maintenance mentality” (p.5). One doesn’t have to look too far to see it. Once in a men’s business meeting, in a context in the which church discipline was being discussed, after having lessons and a special speaker to answer questions on the subject, it was time to put the Lord’s will into action. One brother, who unfortunately wielded much influence, said, “I have been told if we do this there are some who will leave. It takes people to give the money and it takes money to pay the bills.” Another man, whose only input in the past was the status of the “gas bill,” also expressed his concern.

  th After some discussion, some in favor and some in opposition, I asked, “Are we going to allow the weak and/or disobedient brethren to determine which commands we are going to keep and which commands we are going to ignore?” “Oh, no, no, no….” was the response. In spite of such an emphatic denial, rest assured that was exactly what was happening!

   What was the problem? It was the “maintenance mentality”! Numbers and bills were more important than souls and commands. It is a frightening thing to think that God’s people can become so numb that they actually seem to perceive the mission of the church as keeping the lights on, the carpet clean and the gas bill paid. It’s as if God is pleased so long as you keep the building structurally sound and have an occasional fellowship dinner.

   Forgive me, but I don’t think God is all that impressed with clean carpet and continental breakfasts! What impresses him is seeing the church respecting the word and keeping all of the commands – one of which is evangelism. May God keep us from the maintenance mentality!

   Friendship Evangelism — “Friendship Evangelism” is the practice of becoming friends with someone in order to introduce them to the truth. One may ask, “How can that possibly be perceived as an enemy of evangelism?” Who among us has not, in efforts to convert someone, befriended a sinner? This writer most certainly has and will continue to so do. What then is the problem? The trouble with “Friendship Evangelism” resides not in its basic concept, but rather in abuses in its implementation. There are, at least from this writer’s perspective, two major abuses of “Friendship Evangelism.”

   First, “Friendship Evangelism” is not aggressive, let alone as aggressive as God demands we be! When Jesus commissioned the disciples, He did not say: “Go make friends”; he said: “Go make disciples” (Matt. 28:19-20). The primary responsibility of the Lord’s people is not to befriend sinners. The responsibility is to teach truth! May we never equate our having become friends with someone who needs the gospel to our having worked to evangelize their soul!

   Second, “Friendship Evangelism” is used as an excuse for inactivity. When asked, “Have you talked to them about their soul yet,” it is common to hear as an answer: “Well, we’re not good enough friends yet.” Where does it say one must be “good enough friends” with someone to teach them the gospel? What unfortunately happens is the fear of “loosing them” causes the Lord’s command to preach the gospel to be either postponed or completely circumvented. A friendship, even with a potential convert, should never be placed above the determination one has to keep the Lord’s commands (Luke 14:26).

   Lethargic Dual — A preacher was going to speak on the two greatest enemies of the Lord’s church. He ran the topic by a brother and asked: “Joe, I think the two greatest enemies are ignorance and apathy. What do you think?” To which Joe answered, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” Joe, while oblivious to it, was a personification of the problem plaguing the church.

First, consider that of ignorance. Do people really understand that God means what He says? The God of the Bible will not lie. In fact, He cannot lie (Titus 1:2; Heb. 6:18)! Such is contrary to His very nature. Consequently, God means what He says. That means that accountable people who do die without having obeyed the Gospel will be lost (Matt. 7:21). Contrary to what some teach, there are no exceptions, no ulterior plans and no second chances! One has rightly stated, “The only surprise about the Judgment is that there won’t be any surprises!” Paul said: “Knowing therefore the fear of the Lord, we persuade men” (II Cor. 5:11). Surely there are not many, if any among us, who are unaware of the church’s responsibility to save the lost. It would seem that anyone who has a remote clue about God’s Good Book, would know that to claim ignorance of evangelistic responsibility in the Judgment would be futile. May God help us to be aware of our responsibility!

   Second, consider the topic of apathy. Three words aptly capture the gist of “apathy”: indifference and no interest. The apathetic Christian is the one who can hear a lesson on evangelism and feel little or no compulsion to do something. He is virtually “numb” to God’s command to evangelize the lost. He might talk about it, or make announcements concerning it, yet he personally never does it. Evangelism to the apathetic is always “someone else’s business.” Whenever a Christian is numb to a command of God, he is “lukewarm” at best. Remember the church of Laodicea: “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.” (Rev. 3:14-16). Is there a more graphic description of the Lord’s disgust for his people?

May we be ever aware of our responsibility to save the lost and may we have the willingness to do something about it. Again, it was Jesus Christ who said: “Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you: and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world” (Matt. 28:18-19).

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2015 in Encouragement

 

Handling Adversity — The Hand


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One of the most arresting photographs I’ve ever seen came about when Julie and Alex Armas agreed to permit a photographer for USA Today into an operating room at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville.

unborn-samuel-armas1The date was August 19, 1999, and Mr. and Mrs. Armas had agreed to allow surgery on their 21-week-old son. And you should understand that the 21 weeks were from the time of their son’s conception, not his birth.

The surgery was to be performed in utero. Infant Armas had been found to have spina bifida, which had left part of his spinal cord exposed after the backbone had failed to develop properly. The surgery was designed to close the gap and protect the baby’s fragile spinal cord.

The operation was performed through a tiny slit made in the wall of Mrs. Armas’ womb. The thing that proved so amazing about the photography sequence that emerged from that operating room is that Samuel Alexander Armas — still not viable outside his mother’s womb — surprised everyone with a reflex movement that not only extended his arm from the cramped quarters hosting his imperfect body but grasped the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner.

I suppose we could say that Samuel was “hanging on for dear life” to the surgeon’s hand.

That photo forces me to think of our situation with the Creator God of Heaven and Earth. From our fragile environment and with all the defects of our faith, you and I reach out for God and try to hang on for dear life by means of a grasp called faith.

Samuel  was born at 6:25 p.m. on December 2, 1999, and is doing well. It’s too early to know for sure that he will walk, but he is moving his legs very well and is being monitored regularly.

He’ll have the normal challenges every kid faces growing up, and some of those challenges will relate to the spina bifida for which he underwent dramatic in-utero surgery. But the Armases — who had suffered through two miscarriages before little Samuel’s conception, surgery, and birth — are thrilled with their son. “The details of his limitations become insignificant,” said his father, “and that’s the understatement of the year.”

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. . . . Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Cor. 4:7-10, 14-16

Although you and I think of Paul in terms of his apostleship and centuries of honor for his role in the early church, the words of our text today were spoken in a defensive tone. Paul’s mission at Corinth had been under fire from some harsh critics. The criticism was severe enough that he had been tempted to “lose heart” (2 Cor. 4:1). He was determined, however, to fulfill his ministry and not to dishonor the trust God had given him. By means of a faith-grasp on God’s hand, he had resolved that nothing would make him relinquish that hold.

The key theme of this section is repeated in 1 Corinthians 4:1 and 16: “We faint not!” Literally, Paul said, “We do not lose heart!” There were certainly plenty of reasons for discouragement in Paul’s situation, yet the great apostle did not quit. What was it that kept him from fainting in the conflicts of life? He knew what he possessed in Jesus Christ! Instead of complaining about what he did not have, Paul rejoiced in what he did have; and you and I can do the same thing.

One thing is undeniable about Jesus: He was brutally honest about his call to discipleship. He drew people with the warning that their eventual triumph and joy in following him would come through hardship, danger, and perhaps even death. “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” he told them. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me” (Matt. 5:10-11).

Maybe Jesus understood one of the things about human nature that we occasionally discover for ourselves: Few people are motivated to do their best in a cushy, unchallenging job. There are people every year who quit jobs with good salaries because of the lack of challenge. Few things in life are more insulting to some of us than to be offered an easy job, a job just anybody could perform. Work without challenge offers no sense of joy in accomplishment.

But forget ordinary work and careers for a minute. Does anyone seriously think he/she could join God Almighty in doing something and not be stretched to his/her limits? How can we participate with God in anything and not be challenged? How could we participate in his holiness within a cosmos in rebellion against him and not be put at risk?

Paul’s personal experience in following Christ had certainly lived up to its advance billing. He had indeed been “persecuted because of righteousness,” endured repeated vile “insult,” and had people “falsely say all kinds of evil” about him because of his commitment to Jesus of Nazareth.

Later in this same epistle, Paul — with an obvious sense of embarrassment for having to cite such things in order to answer the slander of his opponents — gave a list of things he had been forced to endure over the course of his ministry:

Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? (2 Cor. 11:25-29).

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience,” said Martin Luther King Jr., “but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

If that sentiment is correct, Paul comes off well. He was a mature Christian. He understood that his faith would not exempt him from adversity. Or, to quote Augustine: “God had one son on Earth without sin, but he has never had one without suffering.”

But you and I live at a different time and with a different mind set. The sentiment most of us carry is that adversity in our experience somehow contradicts the doctrine of the love of God. But it is shallow thinking and flawed faith that would measure the degree of God’s love by the comfort of our earthly situation.

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in Encouragement